Living with Obesity
julieworley376
Posts: 444 Member
After reading the posts on this particular thread I wanted to edit my original comment. As you read them I want you to think about the fact that this is what we accept as our normal. These are the obstacles and worries that we encounter in our everyday lives, they are a part of our existence. NO MORE!!
As you read these I want you to hold that thought in mind. If you ever saw Beverley Hills Chihuahua you will remember that scene where Chloe is encouraged to find her bark, she stamps her paw and yells.. NO MAS! No more. She is being encouraged to channel her inner strength, to tap into that tiny but mighty.
I want you to tap into that inner strength, raise your inner fight, if it helps throw something (a ball) at a wall and yell.. NO MORE! You deserve better. Life is hard enough and you deserve to live yours without these added stresses. You deserve to live a life where you are free to do whatever you want and your weight is not the thing that gets in your way. Damnit!! Ride that roller coaster. Slide into that booth. Bend and tie your shoelaces without feeling like you are going to suffocate. FIGHT!
I know from reading the fat hate sites, and yes those exist. That we are judged even on what we put in our shopping carts, that there are people out there who get satisfaction from looking at what we are buying and saying.. yeah that is why she is such a whale. You don't know what satisfaction it brings me to fill my cart with healthy food thinking that I am giving any person who thinks like that the finger BIG time.
NO MORE.
Fight guys. Fight. You deserve to live.
There are so many things we deal with on a daily basis that healthy weight people do not. These include fears of being judged, what others are thinking of us and things that can make our life downright complicated. I am going to list a few here that come to mind. How do you deal with these situations?
Worrying about flying/fitting in the seat belt/being asked to pay extra.
Whether that chair is going to break.
Weaving through a restaurant or any place where just getting to the bathroom is difficult because of space.
Actually eating at a restaurant/what people think of you.
Going into a clothes store/will they have my size?
Buying chocolate or baked goods or fast food and feeling you have to justify it.
Going to the beach.
Travelling in the back of a car with other people.
Worrying about what effect size will have on job interviews.
Anymore??
As you read these I want you to hold that thought in mind. If you ever saw Beverley Hills Chihuahua you will remember that scene where Chloe is encouraged to find her bark, she stamps her paw and yells.. NO MAS! No more. She is being encouraged to channel her inner strength, to tap into that tiny but mighty.
I want you to tap into that inner strength, raise your inner fight, if it helps throw something (a ball) at a wall and yell.. NO MORE! You deserve better. Life is hard enough and you deserve to live yours without these added stresses. You deserve to live a life where you are free to do whatever you want and your weight is not the thing that gets in your way. Damnit!! Ride that roller coaster. Slide into that booth. Bend and tie your shoelaces without feeling like you are going to suffocate. FIGHT!
I know from reading the fat hate sites, and yes those exist. That we are judged even on what we put in our shopping carts, that there are people out there who get satisfaction from looking at what we are buying and saying.. yeah that is why she is such a whale. You don't know what satisfaction it brings me to fill my cart with healthy food thinking that I am giving any person who thinks like that the finger BIG time.
NO MORE.
Fight guys. Fight. You deserve to live.
There are so many things we deal with on a daily basis that healthy weight people do not. These include fears of being judged, what others are thinking of us and things that can make our life downright complicated. I am going to list a few here that come to mind. How do you deal with these situations?
Worrying about flying/fitting in the seat belt/being asked to pay extra.
Whether that chair is going to break.
Weaving through a restaurant or any place where just getting to the bathroom is difficult because of space.
Actually eating at a restaurant/what people think of you.
Going into a clothes store/will they have my size?
Buying chocolate or baked goods or fast food and feeling you have to justify it.
Going to the beach.
Travelling in the back of a car with other people.
Worrying about what effect size will have on job interviews.
Anymore??
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Going to a movie, sporting event, or concert with seating knowing you will have to squeeze by people. Getting the looks, and the obvious laughs (even loud enough to hear comments) about your weight.0
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Going to a resturant full of people and wondering if you can fit in that small booth0
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God i hate booths and i'm glad I haven't had to fly in a while.
I fear getting to the end of all this and having a lot of excess skin on my stomach and chest.0 -
Yep, restaurant booths.... Grrrrr
Tying my shoes
Not having enough stamina/energy to keep up with what my family wants to do
Having to give my size to whoever to order office shirts0 -
Oh god I have so many.
Clothes shopping with my friends. Because none of them seem to understand I can hardly EVER find clothes for me that fit the style I want.
Going out to eat with my friends.
Going out to eat period.
Going anywhere with people. Because I know people are judging me.
Going to a place and looking around and realizing you are the biggest person there.
Going out with my friend to the bar. She's married, and for some reason feels I can pick up a guy... when they all flock to her.
I always force myself to breathe slowly after walking, because I feel fat if I start breathing heavily.
I'm afraid to go to any theme park, I know I won't fit into the rides.
I enjoy cosplaying and going to cons, and I always nervous because of all the internet bullying especially centered around plus size cosplayers.
Trying to explain to my friend how hard it is to find clothes, and how upsetting it is. And having her trying to empathize because all the jeans she can find are slightly too big for her....0 -
I hate booths also! I feel like my boobs are on the table and I am all squished in them.
Clothes shopping is horrible now. I have hit the highest size in Wal-Mart so if I go any higher i will be having to travel at least 20 miles to Lane Bryant or having to order even a t-Shirt, which is about the only thing left I think in Walmart that I can wear.
I always feel like I am the biggest person around also.
Tying my shoes gives me out of breath and I have to pause and catch it between shoes.
Even Hygiene issues bother me. I take two showers a day alot of times because I just don't feel clean. Thankfully I am able to do that still, but I worry about getting to the point where my hubby would have to "clean" me. I think I would be mortified.
We are gamers on MMO games online and have a lot of friends that we have online. I would LOVE to be able to meet a lot of them in real life because we have become so close, but I am way too embarrassed for them to see the "real" me. A lot of them are on my facebook but I do not put current pictures of myself anywhere because I am just so humiliated.
I am afraid to go to theme parks again also Lori
. I love roller coasters but I know I won't fit into them so I just avoid them. My son wants to go to Disney, Universal or Legoland so bad, and I keep putting it all off because I know I won't fit into the rides, and I know I won't be able to even walk the whole parks because my ankles bother me so bad with all of this weight. 0 -
Tying my shoes - oh god yes, I thought it was only me who couldn't breathe whilst doing that!! In fact bending down, period. When I bend, I can't breathe. And putting my socks on...that's a nightmare some days.
Stairs - my whole job is stairs. I hate going up in front of people because I have to keep stopping for breath and of course they are clearly seeing my lard *kitten* and thighs jiggling all over in front of them.
Public toilets - the cubicles are always so tiny, I have to stand half over the pan just to close the door sometimes. And when I sit, my body touches the cubicle walls, ewww.
The office clothes ordering issue also. I work in a 99% male environment for that, so the unisex trousers stand no chance of fitting my curves. The embarrassment last year when the stores guy FINALLY got me a pair of ladies plus size trousers and he was SO chuffed about that - and they didn't fit. I buy my own black trousers these days and just pray no manager asks why they aren't company logo'd.
Going to the doctor, for ANY reason. Cos you know that no matter what they are going to say that if you lost some weight it would go away....
Race meetings - I go to hovercraft racing meetings, and pretend that I've no interest in learning to race them myself. Truth is, I'm terrified the craft will be too heavy to float, and certainly not competitive in any way. Also, I'd have to wear a buoyancy aid, and I don't think one will fit.
Also, the guys all do fancy dress parties, and go for bike rides etc - I don't join in because I can't fit into the clothes and am scared I will fall off or break my bike.
Clothes shops - oh yes, the reason I buy all mine online is because that's the only place I can get them big enough!
Dog walking - I have rescue dogs, and often the kennel girls get together for some lovely walks, but I don't go because it's up and down hill and I can't breathe going uphill and am terrified of coming down steep slopes because I know I will slip!
The opticians - I've recently had eye surgery, and they have to struggle to get the machine close enough to test my eyes. My boobs are in the way. And it's always young, skinny male opticians!0 -
Wow... I'm reading these and thinking, why would ANYONE think that we CHOOSE to be obese? I know, I know, the reality is that the food we put in our mouths, the food we "choose" leads to all of these problems, but seriously--all of these consequences are a great argument for the food addiction model of obesity. Not a choice--a compulsion or an obsession.
Yesterday I had two non-scale victories. One of the problems of my weight has been getting my zoomers on in the pool. Zoomers are like flippers, only they have a tiny lip and they're designed to work your legs better. I usually have to flip my leg onto the staircase so I can pull the zoomer over my heel. Yesterday, for the first time in over a year, I was able to just pull my leg up and reach my heel and pull up the zoomer. I was shocked. and so excited!!!! My second victory was that at the end of aquasize, when we are stretching out, I haven't been able to hook my hands behind my back for the full stretch. I usually just hold my arms back there. Yesterday, I went to stretch back and my hands MET. And I hooked them together. What??? woo hooooo!0 -
I havent had any issues with resturants or planes - I carry my weight in stomach and I am obese in terms of doc not morbid but I so beleong in this group.
One thing I hate is in order to shave the bikini line I have to lift "my apron" - yes thats what I call it - an apron - I have to lift it to shave.
I also hate family gatherings becasue every one in my family - EVERYONE is a healthy weight but me and I feel as though they talk about me when Im not around (Im sure they dont its me) I think they chock it up to cancer but its not just cancer. Yes, before cancer I was smaller with maybe 50 pounds to be a healthy weight but all the reasons, all the things we discuss here are me.
I think the more we talk about it - the more we feel accepted the better it is for us to overcome and we CAN overcome! I am doing so much better since I joined this group - Im not perfect but I am ok...I am doing it0 -
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>>>>>>>>>I think the more we talk about it - the more we feel accepted the better it is for us to overcome and we CAN overcome! I am doing so much better since I joined this group - Im not perfect but I am ok...I am doing it<<<<<<<<<
CE, love what you wrote. No more secrets, no more SHAME!0 -
Oh god I have so many.
Clothes shopping with my friends. Because none of them seem to understand I can hardly EVER find clothes for me that fit the style I want.
Going out to eat with my friends.
Going out to eat period.
Going anywhere with people. Because I know people are judging me.
Going to a place and looking around and realizing you are the biggest person there.
Going out with my friend to the bar. She's married, and for some reason feels I can pick up a guy... when they all flock to her.
I always force myself to breathe slowly after walking, because I feel fat if I start breathing heavily.
I'm afraid to go to any theme park, I know I won't fit into the rides.
I enjoy cosplaying and going to cons, and I always nervous because of all the internet bullying especially centered around plus size cosplayers.
Trying to explain to my friend how hard it is to find clothes, and how upsetting it is. And having her trying to empathize because all the jeans she can find are slightly too big for her....
Yep everything on your list is on mine too, except the cosplaying which Ive never heard of, is that like role playing games?
I hate clothes shopping with my slim friend as I have to go in shops I know don't stock my size so I have to make a beeline for the accessories! 0 -
I guess I'm somewhat lucky in that even though I am still considered morbidly obese, I have lost around 80-100 pounds from my heaviest (was between 335-350, but I never confirmed the 350+ on the scale - but we all know how that is, right?). I still struggle with most of these things, but some of them have lessened. For me, it was a case of the "I don't cares" that finally helped me get over my mental block. I don't care what others think of me (okay, maybe a teeny bit), but I have gotten to the point that even still being heavy, I like to look myself in the eye in the mirror most days, I have clothes that make me feel attractive, no matter the size of my butt. In fact, last night, I was going for a walk with my guy and I have a reflective elastic belt. I tried wearing it like a sash, but it was really uncomfortable, so I slipped it around my waist. We both realized it was kinda silly, so I joked about sliding it over the widest part of me so the cars wouldn't miss it, so I slid it over my butt and did a mini-bootie dance. I laughed so hard. I'm thankful that I've gotten to this point, and for me, it was all in the acceptance of and recovery from my divorce that I found myself again. The weight may come or go, but I've got to get right in my head first and foremost! Looking forward to some incredible conversations!!0
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I carry my weight from the waist down, so not only are my legs heavy but I have cellulite that's gotten worse over the years. Going to the beach??!! I don't even wear skirts above my ankles, let alone shorts.
When my kids were small, I enrolled them in swimming classes at the local Y. What I realized after the fact is that I had to get in the pool with my younger son because he was too small to go in alone. That meant me wearing a bathing suit!!! Oh...the horror!!!!:sad: The stares I got from the other parents (the fathers especially) made me want to run away and hide but I sucked it up and did it anyway.
This might be a bit TMI but.....
My very worse experience with being obese came with my last relationship. It's the worst thing to go through when you are with someone you love, and claims he loves you, yet finds it in himself to utter some very cruel things about your person during an argument or whatever's ticked him off at the time. Then later would express his love. Some people just do not realize that there are lines you do not cross and these behaviors have an emotional and physiological impact on someone.0 -
If there's a place to be as frank and honest as possible, this is it!! So here goes :blushing: I've told everyone that the reason I jumped back on the wagon was that fried food was making me feel like crap, which is true, but the main reason was after using the restroom it was getting so hard to wipe!! I had to have a bar or something to hang onto to help as I twisted around to reach. The motion would cause so much pain in my rib area and instant heartburn. I thought to myself "There's no way in hell I'm going to get to the point that someone else is going to have to wipe my *kitten*!! "
I also have trouble driving the work van. I'm only 4'11" tall and I have a hard time reaching the pedals. I get cramps in my calves from not being able relax my leg, its such a stretch. If I could pull the set up all the way it wouldn't be such a problem, but my big belly gets in the way. Putting on bras that fasten in the back is a bit difficult also. Finding clothes that fit right will never happen- I'm 59" tall but 68" around, my upper arms are huge. Everything is to big and to small all at the same time!! Oh the joys of being an petite, obese woman!0 -
Wow, I never knew all these things bothered me as much until reading thru the list and going YES! YES! YES!
We have a community pool we use every summer. I don't care, I will rock my swimsuit everyday...ok, not rock it, but I really don't care too much who sees me in it anymore, I am just going to enjoy myself. Funny how when I was 170lbs, I thought I was too fat and didn't wear a swimsuit for years.. anyways, my point is..and I am getting there...what I WON'T do..is meet my husband's friends at the lake in a swimsuit. My problem, I don't want to embarrass him.
We have a new jetski we bought last summer. It is my husband's pride and joy. He wants to meet his buddy and his buddy's girlfriend out there and make a weekend out of it..so I Facebook stalked them and she is this cute little petite thing..I thought no way..I don't want to embarrass my husband by being this 300lb wife on a jetski when his cop buddy gets to bring this cute little thing in a bikini. That is just something I won't do.0 -
Nodding vigorously as I read this thread is exercise, right?
Pretty much everything anyone said here I've experienced, though I don't take planes or go to pools or amusement parks. We don't eat out anymore either.
So many everyday things that others take for granted are a struggle.0 -
Yeah umm right.. it's exercise LOL.
I have to get on a plane if I want to see my family.. all of them are in the UK. I have a 2 year old granddaughter I have not met yet and my daughter is having another baby girl in September. Now planning to be much lighter with every intention of going over to visit at Christmas.. if I can last that long!0 -
Clothes shopping was a huge pain for me until the internet and cross-border shopping opened my world up. Especially in the bra department. What would've cost me over $100 - $150 at home would cost me $40 - $50 online for a single bra. Button up blouses and empire waist style clothes (I was fuming for the past two years trying to find flattering tops without empire waistline).
Flying was a big concern for me, but I found a way around it. Some airlines seat belts were too short and others I just fit, but I still fit in the seat fine. So I had to fake being belted in. They don't check that closely anyways.
Bathroom stalls are the worst!!! But even my skinny friends complain about the size of them too!
Booths are definitely a pain and certain chair styles. I have no junk in my trunk, so sitting can be painful with no cushioning.0 -
Yep everything on your list is on mine too, except the cosplaying which Ive never heard of, is that like role playing games? I hate clothes shopping with my slim friend as I have to go in shops I know don't stock my size so I have to make a beeline for the accessories!
Cosplaying is where you dress up as movie/comic book/ video game characters. I like to dress up and go to conventions. Its just when you are obese you get constantly overlooked. And I mean I'm always worried I'm going to come home and find my pic on a fat cosplayer page making fun of me.0 -
I will say...having been on a few flights where the belt didn't buckle and I just tucked it under my shirt so they didn't see worked. Other times, they brought me an extender and was embarrassed the first time. The next time, I was pregnant so just asked for one right up front and used it as an excuse. Finally, when I had lost enough weight to not need it and the stupid flight attendant was walking around with them in her hand and pointed to me with a whisper, I showed her --- BUCKLED IN! HA! I was mad she thought I still needed it. But, happy I could buckle the belt.
I do hate flying, terribly. Ugh. It is the smaller planes that have the smaller belts I've noticed. Either way, they pack you in like sardines so even if you are skinny, it is uncomfortable.0 -
lorarity I think I spelled the name wrong and I apologize if I did but my sister and her friends love to cosplay. They even go to BellaCon in Florida every year. My sister is really small and petite and they have one friend who is a plus size young lady and she always says she feels like the odd person out because she has to "settle" for what she can find instead of going as the characters she likes.0
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When its a sweating chore to just reach down behind to wipe yourself 0
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the seat belt plane thing never bothered me, I had no problem asking for an extender for the seat belt - but I would hate the middle and aisle seats as in the aisle seat, I would be in the aisle and get hit by people and the cart - in the middle seat well, just no - so I always sat in the window seat to take up as little room as possible. The sideways waddle to get down the tiny aisle wasn't a whole lot of fun either or smacking people with either my boobs or butt...
Restaurant booths, like others mentioned, could be awful - I was always happy to find ones that did not have bolted down tables so I could move the table
the thing that used to bother me may be silly and stupid - the fact that I would have to walk around some parked cars instead of in between them - because you generally go, hey I can fit... until you don't0 -
The worst for me......the soul virtually single solid reason Ive embarked on this whole gotta lost weight as fast AND healthy as possible isnt because of the things y'all have listed here in there entirety ...
Sure I wanna be thinner, move around easier, look better et al.
But what I want more than almost anything in this life and would give almost anything for is....to breathe better. 4 years ago my place flooded due to a major pipe freezing and thawing too fast. We had the place professionally taken care of with industrial dryers etc. Little did we know that mold would settle where it couldnt be seen and Id develop a form of lung infection from it. Ive struggled daily to breathe since. The doctors can all tell me what it isnt...but not what it is. I'ts not emphysema, its not COPD, its not lung cancer. Dont get me wrong...Im eternally greatful for what its not.
BUT I still cant breathe very good. It limits even walking a lot of the time. It seriously limits even shopping, thank GOD my fiance' is pretty good at it. Walking to and from the office is even hard
So..they say my weight didnt cause this....but it isnt helping, so it's got to go............NOW. Every pound that comes off will make it just a little bit easier to breathe and move around.
..........................and that' WHY Im HERE0 -
I am so incredibly happy that I have found MFP, I agree with everyone's post from going to the bathroom to getting an extender belt on a plane. With summer finally on it's way, I HATE that I can't get on the rides at amusement parks, I love roller coasters. I spent the last 3 years not wanting to be around anyone except my family, and since my job allows me to work from home whenever, there were actual weeks that I never left the house. One of my sons got married this past October, and I will always regret not forcing myself to go out and do things with he and his then fiance, she and I are attempting to build a solid relationship now, but this could have been done all along. I don't intend to go back to that place mentally, and getting rid of this weight will allow me to do more things with my friends and family. So yes...I can say I have experience all of the frustration listed, but with God's help and the support in MFP, I won't be experiencing them much longer.0
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Mine has a lot to do with trying to get on an amusement park ride with my kids and realizing I really couldn't.0
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Hi ladies, if you scroll down past the sticky threads, you'll see that every day we start a new dated thread--so today's is July 16, 2014. That's where you'll find most of the activity in this group. Welcome!
Karen in Maine0
