completely demoralized for a bit there
intenseze
Posts: 20
Hi all. I'm sorry I disappeared for a couple of days there, but yesterday was a really bad day. See I don't own a scale, so I have no idea what my starting weight was. I don't know if I've lost weight (I don't see how I couldn't have, I haven't had even 2000 calories in any day in over 3 weeks now) or how much I've lost thus far. Yesterday I decided it was time to buy a scale and weigh myself once a week. So I went, I bought one that weighs up to 400 pounds. The last time I weighed myself I was 390, then I lost down to 360 and was wearing a size 28 pants. I can still fit those pants, they are tight, but comfortable enough to wear out. So I assumed I was around 370-380. When I stepped on the scale I got an E. Which means I am OVER 400 pounds. I'm devastated. I had no desire to go on with changing my life, or even living actually (my husband actually took my keys at one point I was so crazed). I tried the scale again this morning with the same results. I had my husband weigh his tiny 160 pound butt on it and it does work, so yes it's really that bad.
So the scale is going back to the store, I can't suffer that defeat every time I try to see my weight. I will order one that goes higher and pray that I'm not more than 440.
I have ALWAYS gained most of my weight in my stomach (I have a horrible apron) so I thought as long as those pants fit I was doing ok. I never stopped to consider the weight going to my thighs and arms and face and neck. It took me hours to calm down and this morning I decided that giving up wasn't really an option. I just have to accept that I have more to lose than I thought. I am very disappointed in myself right now, and was pretty hard on myself yesterday. I'm still not great, but damn it I owe it to myself and my kids to be healthier.
thank you for all your support.
So the scale is going back to the store, I can't suffer that defeat every time I try to see my weight. I will order one that goes higher and pray that I'm not more than 440.
I have ALWAYS gained most of my weight in my stomach (I have a horrible apron) so I thought as long as those pants fit I was doing ok. I never stopped to consider the weight going to my thighs and arms and face and neck. It took me hours to calm down and this morning I decided that giving up wasn't really an option. I just have to accept that I have more to lose than I thought. I am very disappointed in myself right now, and was pretty hard on myself yesterday. I'm still not great, but damn it I owe it to myself and my kids to be healthier.
thank you for all your support.
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Replies
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Don't be discouraged. Once you get a proper scale you will be set. You feel like you've lost weight then you probably have. Don't worry. As long as you are honest and consistent the weight will come off. This is a marathon not a sprint. Also take your measurements and a few pictures. There are other ways of tracking your progress than the number on the scale.0
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I remember being shocked at the number on the scale. I couldn't believe I weighed that much. However it is just a data point to record where you are starting.
Don't focus on the scale. Start capturing measures of areas of your body. That will be a way to measure progress even if the scale doesn't move.
Just hang in there and be patient. When I started, I lost weight quickly but it took quite a while before I could actually see it.
Focus on doing the 'right' things, eating within your calorie goal and moving. If you focus on the behaviors the scale will eventually move.0 -
*big hugs*
I know how you feel, when I realized I weighed over 350 lbs I was in shock. I hated myself for letting myself ballon up almost 100 lbs in a year and not noticing how bad it was. I thought about all the times I had dieted and lost weight, how hard I worked and I had thrown it all way in months and months of not caring what I was doing with my diet and exercise. Don't give up though. It's a longer and harder road, we're older and heavier but we can still make it. Step by step, keeping our minds on our goal and remembering how we feel better when we're taking care of ourselves.0 -
It's just a number hon.. Please don't let it define you! Remember, I started out over 400 myself! Right now, I have lost my scale in my walk-in closet of hell (Think Hoarders) where everything gets thrown when company comes to town, and I am determined not to find it. I am enjoying the freedom of no longer being a slave to the ups and downs of the scale. I weigh in monthly at the docs. I cannot wait to get under 300 so I can register on the work scale they use for packages. Sometimes I get down on myself and realize I cannot even register on a dang packaging scale, but then again, it is kind of fun thinking..am I close enough today to try??
All is NOT lost. I put on 60lbs in the last 6 months and so far I am taking it off twice as fast as I put it on. The heavier you are, the faster it is going to come off, you just have to stay with it. Make it your new job. You have been doing so well! :flowerforyou:0 -
Yes, you DO owe it to yourself and your children to be healthier and the fact that you are here is a step in the right direction. You have so much going on, so it is understandable to feel this way.
There are scales out there, so in the meantime, log your food, move and take care of yourself as best as you can and remember that we are here for you. :flowerforyou:
If you really want to know your weight before your scale arrives, perhaps you can be weighed at the doctor's office. That way you'll know your accurate starting point.0 -
Ditto above.. totally. You can scream, shout, throw things at the wall, cry until you are exhausted.. but at the end of all that Amy you have to pick yourself up and change to that healthy lifestyle. You got on those scales because you gave a damn about how much you weigh and want to change it. What would happen if you didn't have the courage to face those scales and those changes? How much would you weigh then? 500, 600, 700lbs?
Take charge Amy.. you can change your life starting right now.0 -
I don't think I can add anymore to what the others have said Amy. Keep focused on why you want to lose the weight and get healthier. use MFP daily to log in and log your caloric intake and exercise too. Just going for a short walk is a great start...baby steps is how we all started out. We move forward and keeping going and every day is a challenge to stay on the right path. You can do this, and you will do this. Take it day by day, but move forward towards your goals of getting healthier and being with your family for a very long time!!!0
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I feel your pain. I've been struggling since I hit the 300 mark and before I knew it I was 350. That's when I started to fight a little harder by changing my eating habits. I didn't focus on the exercise part as much. It was all about baby steps. Now that warmer weather is here, I'm working on the exercise part more and still maintain the healthy eating habits.
- Take it slow with small milestones or "goals".
- Argue with yourself "Do I really need that? No." and walk away. My husband knows that sometimes I have to just stare at the item before I can walk away on my own fighting an internal battle. He can't really push me cause it'll make it worse. Yes, sometimes I give in and buy it, but I find the more I practice that, the more often I ended up walking away.
- Constantly test alternatives until you find one that you like to replace the "junk" version. This is especially important if you are trying to do a "gluten free" lifestyle.
- Think long term plans. I've been working on changing my eating habits for 2 years. Now I can successfully call myself a "perimeter" shopper (means I only shop in fresh departments)0 -
So you were gone for a couple days. The important thing is that you are back here getting support from people who know what you are fighting. Yes you and your children deserve a healthy you. Try to find the non-scale victories. Healthier eating, a little walk, whatever you can do and focus on making the baby step changes. The scale does not define who you are. Just put one foot in front of the other and move toward the life you desire.0
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You are not a number on the scale. Remember that. Even the tiniest step is a step in the right direction.0
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I for one, am incredibly proud of you that you came back. I can't tell you how many times I have joined online forums and when my slip-ups have turned into a complete downspiral, I didnt return. So I am in awe of you for having that strength and determination that I am trying to find within myself.
I too had a shock on the scale on Monday, my first day of healthy eating. I had long suspected that our old scale wasnt registering right because it would always have the same number, plus or minus 1 pound, no matter what I would do. So I ordered a new scale, got on it Monday and saw that I actually weighed 11 pounds more than what the old scale said. Its a total wake-up call when something like that happens.
Thank you for returning--you are worth it!
~Becky0 -
Don't get overwhelmed by the BIG picture. I'm going to quote Lindabeth here "One day, One choice, One walk at a time "!
This should be our mantra! Just focus on one moment at a time and the next thing you know you'll be quite a way into your journey and all those NSV's will have made a huge impact on that scale!
"One Day, One Choice, One walk at a time! "
BLESSINGS:flowerforyou:0
