Starting the process, not in the way I had planned.

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Sounds weird yes, but I'm likely being sleeved at the same time I'm having a stomach tumor removed. Either way I was going to lose part of my stomach.... So I'm going to make this work in my favor damn it!

I'm here because I'm butting up against massive resistance frome family and friends who've managed to lose weight on diet alone. I've done everything in the past to try to drop weight, and even at one point lost nearly 70lbs. But of course I was spending 4+ hours a day at the gym. I have kids now and that's just out of the question now.

Have any of you (I'm sure some of you have) had trouble with this? Many of the people who are giving me cap over this know that regardless of sleeve surgery I will be going under the knife for the tumor. I've considered just saying they took the tumor and part my stomach and just act like the weight loss is a happy side effect.

Comments? Stories?

T

Replies

  • JxAAA
    JxAAA Posts: 87 Member
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    At the end of the day you know you best, you know what the right choice is for you. I've dieted many times lost weight but always gained it back and then some. I know for a fact that I would not have long term success with dieting so I chose the sleeve despite initial objection from my husband, mom and sister. They all eventually came around after them hearing about all the research I've done and realizing this just wasn't a fly by night impulsive decision. My husband is my biggest supporter and has been absolutely wonderful throughout this.

    If you feel like this is going to be a losing battle with your friends and family to the point where it's going to stress you out or sabotage you just tell them the weight loss was a side effect of the tumor being removed.

    Good luck either way.
  • garber6th
    garber6th Posts: 1,894 Member
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    I think many people who have decided to have weight loss surgery come up against some resistance at one point or another in the process. I think a couple of reasons are that people don't really understand the process or even the surgery itself. Also, I think people tend to hear more negative stories than success stories, and for some reason they focus on the negative.

    I have lost and gained literally hundreds of pounds oer the years. At the time of my surgery, I weighed 382 lbs. All the good advice and all the opinions from other people were not going to help me at that point. When people put in their two cents in a negative way, I just said, I appreciate your concern, my doctor and I have decided this is the best route for me. If they said that I could do this on my own, I would say, I AM going to do it on my own, and by having the surgery I will have a tool that will help me. It's hard when people give you negative feedback, but your health has to come first, and for me, having surgery gave me back control of my health. Bottom line, do what's best for YOU. When they see you becoming healthier and happier, hopefully they will be on board.
  • trisholson
    trisholson Posts: 5
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    Thankfully my husband is my greatest supporter in this. So far only a few close friends know. One told me that while they believe it's drastic they'll be there to help me out after and stand up for me if our other friends are jersey about. But I do think I'm going the "side efdect" route for now.
  • bikermike5094
    bikermike5094 Posts: 1,752 Member
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    bottom line is you only answer to yourself in the mirror. i had a family member that lost 110 pounds over 2 years, kept it off for a year, then put it all right back on. I personally have just continued to get heavier over the years and have never had a huge weight loss success fo this is a one and done approach for me. But it will force me to make better choices and habits or pay the consequences. I work best under pressure.
  • pawoodhull
    pawoodhull Posts: 1,759 Member
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    I love your attitude! Take a tumor and turn it into a blessing! Awesome!!

    Look, my doctor said that after a certain point in obesity, diet and exercise alone no longer work. I don't know where you fall in that, but I was way past the point of being able to do it without the surgery. Reality is, the surgery is a tool, use it and you will lose the weight and keep it off. Take the tool and put it on a shelf (don't make the lifelong lifestyle changes) and you will lose but you won't keep it off. In the end, it really is all about what you decide to do and keep doing.

    As for the naysayers, don't you find that most of them aren't obese? I find that normal weight people who have never had a weight issue think losing is as easy as giving up chocolate. They just don't get it. So do what you know is best for you.
  • trisholson
    trisholson Posts: 5
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    Actually most of them are overweight, and not just a little chunky at that.
  • Thaeda
    Thaeda Posts: 834 Member
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    Most of the naysayers are overweight.... why am I not surprised at their responses to you? They are merely projecting their own fears and doubts onto you. Their reponses have nothing to do with you at all. I am sorry for the circumstances you are facing, but I agree with others who have said you have a great attitude about it. My suggestion? Talk about the surgery with people who are supportive (like this forum, or maybe a support group if the weight loss center performing your surgery has one-- most of them do) and say little to the naysayers. Best of luck to you. :)
  • gsbbz
    gsbbz Posts: 8
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    Sounds like you have a lot on our plate. Best wishes to you whatever you finally decide to do. My question is re the MD's. Would the same MD do both procedures? I would want the best for each type of surgery.
  • Ksh1055
    Ksh1055 Posts: 248 Member
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    Even my family Dr. was so against it I asked him if I had the sleeve done if he would continue as my Dr. or should I find another one. He stated he would continue to see me. Earlier last year he put me on two RX's that in combination had worked for several of his patients in my age group to lose weight. After 4 months,

    I lost not one pound. He had told me at that time that he didn't support Gastric Surgery as he had seen no positive results from having it and most gain all the weight and more back. Before I did my extensive research and saw the positives, I had felt the same way. My step-sister had the full surgery and she did gain back all her weight and then some. But, SHE DIDN'T FOLLOW THE EATING, MEDICATION, ETC., GUIDELINES. It's a shame as she is such a pretty girl and had two young boys to keep up with. I thinks she believed it would be a magic fix, even though she had done a lot of research on it herself.

    No one in my family has said a negative remark to me. I told those that I am close with and the others either don't know or have been told by the ones that do. Yesterday, one of the best parts were all the compliments on how great I was looking. I wore a light shirt that I had bought a few years ago, still had the tags on but never wore as it was too tight. Yesterday, plenty loose.

    I am sorry about your tumor, but as long as they are there and you are committed to the extreme change in your lifestyle (eating, exercising, etc.) then I say why not. The surgeon's there and I think you are just getting a twofour/bonus.

    Bottom line, I think the negativity comes from being uneducated in the surgery, whole lifestyle change, and possibly even a little bit jealous. So just prove them wrong. My daughter was completely against it, so I sent her the link my surgeon had given to me that explains the surgery step by step from pre to post and rest of life changes that need to take place to be successful. That changed her mind and she is so proud of me.

    So good luck and I hope they get all the tumor and you can get on the way to where you want to be. Sorry, didn't mean to write a novelette.

    Karen
  • trisholson
    trisholson Posts: 5
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    I've already changed or diets at home dramatically. My husband is a type 1 diabetic in end stage renal failure awaiting transplant... Soooooo, high protein, low carb, low sodium, low potassium (him not me, ouch cramps), I grow most of my own food, no red meat blah blah blah.

    Just can't get weight off.

    My gp is also against it. But my gastroenterologist, has been a gem, high fiving me the whole way. He and a bariatric surgeon will be tag teaming the surgery.

    On the 20th I start the intake process and labs, 22 and 23rd I see a nurse practioner, nutritionist, and physical therapist. June 4th the shirnk.

    Found out today my bmi is 50.5 high enough that my insurance won't demand a 6 month long supervised diet. The cut off was 50. Just how eff'd up is that?
  • relentless2121
    relentless2121 Posts: 431 Member
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    Thank you all for your posts. I can really relate to it as I am on the journey towards WLS. I am selective in who I share this with. The people who I find are most resistant to the news are the ones who have had success with diet and exercise. Until I'm met all the requirements and know for sure that I am having it, I am very selective who I tell. Your response really jumped out at me and I wanted to thank you for it. I wish you the best with the removal of your stomach tumor. If the surgeons are both in agreement to do both surgeries at once, why not. It will save you having a 2nd procedure and go through a second round of healing. Wishing you the best.
  • rpyle111
    rpyle111 Posts: 1,066 Member
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    I am an engineer, so everything is data for me. If you look at my pictures on my profile, I have my weight tracked since 1999. I have had plenty of successes, but something happens in life and it comes back. I have been very successful in this pre-surgery time, and it feels like the changes i have made will be sustainable. I have had a couple of comments from friends asking why I don't think that I can just keep doing this and lose the weight by myself, and my answer is the chart. With a little bit of thought, I can tie life events to each of the weight regains. Nothing major, just the normal life upheavals that come along with having a family, adding to it, work changes, etc. that all of us go through.

    I believe that the tool of the surgery will give some instant feedback to support these changes I am making. In addition, the kids are getting old enough that I can spend more time on me, and what I need to do for myself.

    BTW, I had just finished the six month program with my physician (unsuccessfully), when I hit the weight that gave me approval without the six months of supervised program. It is definitely ironic and send the wrong signal about how best to get insurance approval!
  • loriloftness
    loriloftness Posts: 476 Member
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    Don't let anyone make you feel bad about the decision you have made to be a more heatlhy you. If they are concerned simply about the procedure and long-term prognosis, you have plenty of data to show what a very effective tool this can be if used correctly. That should bring them around. If they are unsupportive for any other reasons, maybe it is really their issue and not yours. You need to surround yourself with people who will love, support and help you be successful in this process.
  • Pearlsbabygirl
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    Really sorry to hear about the tumor, but if you can have both procedures at the same time, and its what you decide is right for you -- GO FOR IT! Your gp isn't up for it, but two doctors that specialize are saying it's a good idea, yay for you! Gp's are just that, gp's (I'm not running down that profession.) Remember, all doctors are "practicing" medicine. Nobody has all the answers. Good luck whatever you decide. I wish you well on your surgery either way... :flowerforyou: