Be polite, but firm. The delivery of your baby is about you, the baby and your husband, not your mother. She'll get over it.

Stick to your guns and setup those boundaries now so that you set the tone for when the baby gets here.

^^^ agreed! I went into labor in the middle of the night and my daughter had school the next day. My mom came to pick her up and take her to school and kept busy with those kinds of activities and before we knew it the baby was here (short labor) and then she brought my daughter to visit in the afternoon.

I know I'm in the minority here but if it's *that* important to her, set some guidelines and let her in.

My sis-in-law was dead-set on it being just her and my brother--her 3rd child, his 1st--but she ended up in active labor while my parents were there and there was no "safe" escape route for them to get out without seeing things they didn't want to see. So they stayed. Quietly, on the guest couch out of the way. They both enjoyed it. 8 months later my dad got diagnosed with lung cancer and he died 7 months after that. He said more than once how much he loved being there for the birth of his grandson. My parents being there was not desired by anyone, but it worked out quite beautifully.

On the flip side, I really wanted one of my brothers with me. I ended up with a C-section so that wasn't an option. It was just me and my husband. That's my one "dissatisfaction" with the C.

edit to add: My parents left right away and didn't come back for several hours. So they were there just for the birth part which lasted all of 25 minutes.

Okay, I hate to hi-jack this from you but I really need a tidbit of advice that follows along the same lines.
My husband and I agreed early on that it was just going to be him and I in the delivery room. Which, I was more than okay with, I don't want my parents, he doesn't want his, none of the grandparents have a problem with this plan or anything.
But, now, 1 week before Dday, I am feeling I really want the support of a certain friend of mine. I need someone who is well educated and has the guts to stand up to the dcotrs, nurses and whomever and not let them try to convince me I need all these unnecessary things they are trying to push (long story,) and I not feeling my husband is the man for the job. I really want him there, for me, and for emotional support. But, I have a friend that is a doula and I am just now deciding I really want her there too.
How do I go about telling my husband that I decided I no longer want it to be something he and I get to experience together alone? Or that I want my friend there that he has never met? Or that I feel like I need her?
I almost want to not have her there just cause I can't see that conversation going over well no matter how I say it

Maybe ask her to watch your oldest if you feel comfortable with that. Maybe she just wants to be involved.

Honestly, I wouldn't even mention the whole birth/who gets to be there. If she asks, just tell her that your previous birth experience was great and you want to recreate it exactly how it was.

If she pushes, just say no. She doesn't need reasons. Assuming you're not adopted, she's had kids before and she should understand (even if she doesn't want to).