Can't get a date? Try a Middle Eastern Guy or a Black Woman
JanieJack
Posts: 3,831 Member
According to this pop-culture piece they're the most likely to respond if you reach out. The piece also says most people end up dating someone in their own race, with the exception of Asian women.
So if you are having trouble finding a date, perhaps try reaching out to a type of guy/gal you wouldn't otherwise. Or accepting his/her request for a date even though you wouldn't otherwise. Or expanding your race selection to include other races you might not originally have considered.
And before everyone jumps on me about the stereotyping, I personally found that I got WAY more hits when I changed from "Black" to "Other" on Match.com. Seeing as I'm mostly-Italian, I don't consider that dishonest. I also don’t blame men for filtering out features they generally don’t want. I’m just saying you might want to consider broadening your searches in case you are cutting out someone who might identify with one culture but still have the look you like.
http://shine.forharriet.com/2014/04/online-daters-are-biased-against-black.html
So if you are having trouble finding a date, perhaps try reaching out to a type of guy/gal you wouldn't otherwise. Or accepting his/her request for a date even though you wouldn't otherwise. Or expanding your race selection to include other races you might not originally have considered.
And before everyone jumps on me about the stereotyping, I personally found that I got WAY more hits when I changed from "Black" to "Other" on Match.com. Seeing as I'm mostly-Italian, I don't consider that dishonest. I also don’t blame men for filtering out features they generally don’t want. I’m just saying you might want to consider broadening your searches in case you are cutting out someone who might identify with one culture but still have the look you like.
http://shine.forharriet.com/2014/04/online-daters-are-biased-against-black.html
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I always heard it was Asain men and Black woman that had a harder time dating. I know I always attract black men put I prefer dating white men.0
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yes, the video says (in their study) Asian men were the least popular, but it also implies this is partially their own fault because they approach a very limited range of women. It notes that the middle eastern guy goes after women of all types and has the highest response rate. Strangely, it said Asian and middle eastern women were the most sought after. I've heard several African American men say they prefer middle eastern women because they don't have to deal with the "angry black woman" stereotype. It also notes that Caucasian women were 50% less likely to respond to a man outside their race despite the fact that most of the Caucasian guys were going for Asian or middle eastern women.
One thing that stood out to me as I was typing that: If the Middle Eastern guy is the most likely to respond, and he was just under a 50% response rate, then gals we need to not take it personally when guys don't respond to us. It's a numbers game, and the numbers are not in our favor.
Of course, that's all in the study, who knows how closely the study correlates to real life. It matches what I've observed and what I've talked about with guys, but my circles are rather limited. Has anyone else observed what the video is saying? Or does it seem inaccurate for your part of the world?
If anyone wants to discuss further what my (rather informal) discussions about race and why so many black women are going for white men and so many black men are going for middle eastern women, I'm happy to do so (either here or via PM).0 -
One thing I'm pretty sure of is that none of the models used in the video has trouble finding a date (they are all "beautiful" by Western standards, and it's still the #1 factor).
Aside from this, the study matches what I have observed (and probably think myself).
A bit more on this:
The thing is that "race" means "skin colour" but also "culture" in the broad sense (that is: religion, music, food, language, common history, understanding of situations, reactions & behaviours, importance of family, education & degrees, ...).
All of these things can make or break a relationship so much that sometimes going for people with a similar background/culture is just easier for the relationship to flow.
Relationships with good "cultural" matches aren't easy either... so there isn't necessarily a lot going for cultural difference when "easier" opportunities are at hand.
You could always try to look for the "exception" in other "cultural pools" but why bother if you can stick to your primary "cultural pool" and just try to avoid the bad exceptions instead...0 -
studies like this always confuse me as a black woman because they seem to be completely unrelated to what i've experienced. i've only dabbled a few times in online dating and each time i had no particular issue getting contacted by men (mostly white) even though i marked black and overweight in profile and had pictures of me in all my fatty glory. but i do notice that sometimes those guys who contact me will have every ethnicity checked on their "looking for" column other than black. i usually dont respond to those guys either.
IRL, i've pretty much had the same experience: there's no way I could ever be mistaken for anything other than black and considering how opinionated I am, I've been called the "angry black woman" many times :laugh: i also know dozens of other black women across multiple states(even black women who like me couldnt possibly pass for anything rlse nor would they want to) who also never had issues getting a man.
so basically i'm wondering if there are other things going on with the people in this study.. maybe it's things that have less to do with their ethnicity than they want to believe?0 -
Maybe it's a regional thing, too. I'm Black and I'm absolutely what fits into the study. I'm finding dating particularly hard because I work from home so I don't get out a ton. So, I decided to try online dating and it doesn't work for me AT ALL. I'm barely contacted. Any time I send a message, I never get a response. Not even a "thanks but no thanks". I even tried Tinder. I actually get a good amount of likes on there but then, no one ever speaks or replies. It's baffling. I really don't know what to do.0
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Maybe it's a regional thing, too. I'm Black and I'm absolutely what fits into the study. I'm finding dating particularly hard because I work from home so I don't get out a ton. So, I decided to try online dating and it doesn't work for me AT ALL. I'm barely contacted. Any time I send a message, I never get a response. Not even a "thanks but no thanks". I even tried Tinder. I actually get a good amount of likes on there but then, no one ever speaks or replies. It's baffling. I really don't know what to do.
Not related to the main topic here, but not sending a response seems 'kinder' than getting into a conversation with or letting someone down that you know you are not interested in. This was consensus from a post a while back on here. So, don't take it personally at least.0 -
yeah I'm a dark black female and I have the same issues,0
