The "easy" way out

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loriloftness
loriloftness Posts: 476 Member
A person I know indicates having WLS is taking the "easy" way out. I thought I had a response for that comment. Committing to a surgery and then a life style of very limited eating of healthy food is not really easy, plus I will still need to exercise. The person than wanted to know why I couldn't just commit to limited eating of healthy food now with exercise and skip the surgery. I was sort of at a loss for a response and then it made me start to question myself. Obviously if I could limit my food intake and eat healthy & exercise now I wouldn't need the surgery. But for some reason, I seem unable to do that. But if I am unable to do it now, why do I think that I can do it after surgery? I felt like I was building momentum towards a successful surgery and a better and healthier life afterwards, but now I'm feeling a little unsure of my decision. I'd welcome some words of wisdom.
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Replies

  • bikermike5094
    bikermike5094 Posts: 1,752 Member
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    as i go forward with pre op appts.. i ask myself the same question every day. I dont really want the surgery, honeslty who would want 2/3 of their perfectly good stomach cut out? my mind says i just have a lack of will power.. well at 48 and 312 lbs, i've had that same lack of will power for over 20 years. surgery seems like a way to force myself into controlling my eating.
  • Thaeda
    Thaeda Posts: 834 Member
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    I am sure you will get all kinds of posts about how surgery is not the easy way out... this is not one of them. My approach is a little different-- who CARES? If there were an easy way to lose weight, who WOULDN'T do it???!!! How do diet pills and approaches make big $$$$$$$? By saying how "easy" it is, how fat just "melts off" and blah blah blah. If people who are looking to lose weight were not looking to do it easily, then none of those "quick fix" diets or products would make much money-- but you know they do.

    I had surgery for me. It is no one's biz what I did or why I did it. I am taking care of my health-- period. I chose VSG after decades of yo-yo dieting. i did it fully aware of the risks. I am very glad I did it. If I would have been able to just eat less without surgery, obviously I would have done it. EZ way or no, it has worked for me (at least it has so far-- I am 4.5 months out).
  • katematt313
    katematt313 Posts: 624 Member
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    The issue is not that this person thinks that VSG is the easy way out.

    The issue is that you have to be sure that you want it, that it is for you, and be able to convey that to the people who you choose to tell about your decision. If you can't articulate a good reason for why you need VSG, then maybe you are not ready!

    Also - there are a lot of people out there who will rain on your parade. Half of them don't know what they are talking about, and the other half have their own reasons for wanting things to stay status quo, IMHO.

    For me: I have been fat my entire life. I have tried everything and nothing has worked. I cannot afford to be fat any longer. This is the only way I can lose weight and be healthy.

    I had VSG, and it is the best health decision I ever made. Hands down. I have no regrets!
  • MyOwnSunshine
    MyOwnSunshine Posts: 1,312 Member
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    My response is similar to Thaeda's response.

    I don't feel the need to convince everyone in the world that WLS is the best solution for weight loss. I researched and weighed the evidence and believed that it would be the best solution for me. That is all I needed.

    If you have not tried multiple times to lose weight with varied strategies, you should probably do that before having WLS. If, like me, you have lost and regained more than 250 pounds in your adult life trying to lose weight and keep it off, then WLS is a logical, rational solution.

    You don't need to convince others that your choice is right. You only need to convince yourself, and frankly, I don't think WLS is right for everyone.
  • authorwriter
    authorwriter Posts: 323 Member
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    Despite all the information out there, most people do not understand the mechanics, nor the science behind weight loss and gain, the effect of hormones, age, illness, disability, metabolism, and a host of other factors has on both. For anybody who can diet in a conventional way and get that weight off and keep it off, I say, "OMG! You are so fortunate! DO IT!"

    I've kept this surgery to myself and my very immediate family and a couple of trusted friends because life is too short for me to spend it answering kneejerk commentary about how I took 'the easy way out'. Walk a mile in my Dr. Scholls, then we'll talk about what's right for me.

    WLS is more than just restriction. It affects a host of other functions that likewise contribute to the loss. Because the mathematics of calories in vs. calories out tell me there is no way I can be losing at the rate I am. There have to be other factors at work and WLS brings those other factors into play.

    You do what is best for you, whether that is WLS or some other path to your goal. I wish you well on your journey.
  • garber6th
    garber6th Posts: 1,894 Member
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    I had one person tell me flat out that WLS is a cop-out, and others ask me why I didn't think I could just do it on my own. My reply was always, this is a decision that I made with the help of my doctor and other medical professionals, and it's the right decision for me. I didn't offer any further explanation or justification. I was not obligated to, and neither are you.

    I agree with authorwriter that most people are clueless about the whole process of WLS, from getting to the place of feeling that you want it or need it, to life after surgery. If people genuinely want to know what I have gone through I have no problem sharing my experience. I think once people see that it can be successful and people can get their health and quality of life back, they change their tune. That said - this is something you are doing for yourself. Don't let anyone take anything away from the hard work it took for you to get to the point where you knew you wanted to make a change for the better, whatever that may be!
  • pawoodhull
    pawoodhull Posts: 1,759 Member
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    And here's yet another angle. My primary care physican (PCP) told me years ago that once you hit a certain point in obesity, diet and exercise alone no longer help. My bariatric surgeon's office has a non-surgical weight loss plan too. I asked about it rather than the surgery and he told me the same thing my PCP did. Now I can't speak for anyone else, but at 386 pounds with my mobility all but gone, I was way past that point. Surgery was the ONLY way for me to have a chance of losing the weight.

    We all know this isn't the easy way out. We all also know that if we could have done it with diet and exercise alone, we would have. Fact is, we were obese because we couldn't do it with diet and exercise alone. So the surgery was necessary for us. Nothing wrong with that. Surgery fixes physical problems. Whether it's a broken bone, a ruptured spleen, etc., surgery is a tool to fix it. This surgery fixed me and gave me a tool to use to lose the weight, regain my mobility and improve my quality of life. Easy? No. Doable? Yes. And as long I continue to use this tool I will get the weight off and I will keep it off.
  • murphyraven
    murphyraven Posts: 163 Member
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    But if I am unable to do it now, why do I think that I can do it after surgery? I felt like I was building momentum towards a successful surgery and a better and healthier life afterwards, but now I'm feeling a little unsure of my decision. I'd welcome some words of wisdom.

    This is a big part of my fears as well. I have had success in almost every diet I have tried.. for a little while. And then old habits creep back in, or the diet becomes too hard to maintain. I gain all my weight back and then add on a little more. I've done this cycle so many times and I have a large fear of failing after WLS.

    I have lost 10 lbs in a month just trying to eat "better" and working towards how I will need to eat after surgery. A part of me says, why can't I just continue to lose weight like this? I am hoping my committing myself to VSG and following the program with my doctors that This will be my long term answer.

    Phentermine helped me the most to lose weight while I was on it because it took away my head hunger. But it's not something I could maintain once off the drug and not something I could take long term. I've read from several people that WLS does not take away head hunger. I will need to put in a LOT of work in figuring out how to avoid triggers and recognize emotional/boredom hunger over real hunger. The sleeve will be my backup support, my tool to help curb overeating, but I will also continue to use MFP to log and support groups to keep me on the path towards my goal.
  • paul87920
    paul87920 Posts: 165 Member
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    A person I know indicates having WLS is taking the "easy" way out. I thought I had a response for that comment. Committing to a surgery and then a life style of very limited eating of healthy food is not really easy, plus I will still need to exercise. The person than wanted to know why I couldn't just commit to limited eating of healthy food now with exercise and skip the surgery. I was sort of at a loss for a response and then it made me start to question myself. Obviously if I could limit my food intake and eat healthy & exercise now I wouldn't need the surgery. But for some reason, I seem unable to do that. But if I am unable to do it now, why do I think that I can do it after surgery? I felt like I was building momentum towards a successful surgery and a better and healthier life afterwards, but now I'm feeling a little unsure of my decision. I'd welcome some words of wisdom.

    Weight loss surgery isn't a way out. It's a tool, and in order for that tool to work, you have to do your part. I want to meet the person who believes that any kind of surgery is "easy".

    Pre-op, you have to lose weight to shrink your liver and prove that you're prepared to make the lifestyle changes. I personally had to drop 30 pounds in two weeks on what is essentially medically supervised starvation. I'm sure you'll be doing something similar if you haven't already.

    Post-op, while your body readjusts and adapts to your new lifestyle, you're changing both physically and mentally. If you approach WLS as a tool to help you achieve success, you're more likely to succeed. If you approach it as a solution to your problems, you're more likely to fail. People who have this surgery and approach it like it's an easy way out, fail. I've met a number of people that didn't get it on their first time around and now they're back for a second procedure.

    I'm also learning that all of these opinionated blowhards may be smaller than me, but that it doesn't necessarily make them qualified to say anything on the topic of personal health. All you have to tell that person is that people who look at WLS as an easy way out typically fail, and those who look at WLS as a tool that requires 100% commitment from the patient typically succeed.

    As far as the person's follow up question is concerned, WLS provides accountability. There's no room for slacking. There's no such thing as cheat days. If you decide that you're going to have a candy bar you'll pay dearly. Food addiction is different from any other type of addiction. We have to eat to survive. A person who gives up an addiction to cocaine, can't do just a little cocaine and be okay. Same with cigarettes, alcohol, or heroin. We still need food. So while we're recovering from what is sometimes a lifetime of bad habits, we need the assistance while we relearn.
  • paul87920
    paul87920 Posts: 165 Member
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    This is a big part of my fears as well. I have had success in almost every diet I have tried.. for a little while. And then old habits creep back in, or the diet becomes too hard to maintain. I gain all my weight back and then add on a little more. I've done this cycle so many times and I have a large fear of failing after WLS.

    You should ask yourself a few questions. 1) How long do your typical diets last? 2) What typically causes you to stop?

    For me, I was on my best behavior usually for a month or two until I plateaued. Once I stopped seeing results, I would give up. Plateauing was my brick wall.

    WLS was the right choice for me because not only is it long term, but as I see the results I'm more inclined to work harder. Also, there's a snowball effect. The more I lose, the more I'm physically able to do. Cute clothes, riding all of the roller coaster rides, buying smaller cars instead of being relegated to my PT Cruiser (my fat mobile)

    Once you're life gets better and you lose a substantial amount of weight, you're not going to want to return to your old ways. You're going to be far too busy living life to the fullest.
  • weeziebeth
    weeziebeth Posts: 168 Member
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    Many things scare me about WLS, the ability to eat around the sleeve included....and maybe even primarily. It is something I am not at all certain I can do. But that's part of what the pre-op process is about. I am glad for my insurance's 3-6 month medically supervised diet period...it is a good time to think, work at the process, and decide if this really is the right solution for me. All of that notwithstanding...anyone who classifies WLS as 'the easy way out' is, forgive my language, a putz. This is not a decision easily arrived at, unless you have a quack surgeon which i doubt. The decision you make to have WLS is one done in consultation with healthcare providers who want the best chance at success against a very difficult problem.
  • cutty805
    cutty805 Posts: 54
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    What your feeling is definitely common leading up to surgery from the people I talked to. I was starting to second guess my decision with just a few weeks until surgery. I thought "I just dropped 30 pounds like nothing" but then I started thinking about how many years of dieting and weight gain I've gone through a and there is no way I'm going another 10 years of being uncomfortable in my own skin. I think we all have a motivating factor that pushed us toward the surgery. For me it was my daughters and the fact I couldn't ride a roller coaster with them, or that it was getting impossible to sit in a booth at a restaurant. Every time I felt a doubt I just imagined how much better my quality of life could be. As far as this being an easy way out I have two thoughts on that. In one aspect it's not the easy way out, it's gonna take hard work and changing the way you live forever, nothing is the same after you leave that operating room. It also is the best tool you'll ever have to lose weight, you'll never be able to eat the way you used to and "messing up" on the diet isn't an option after surgery without paying a price. I had my sleeve on 5/5/14 and have lost 45 pounds since surgery (about 6 weeks) and a total of 75 pounds since starting the program in January, I have absolutely no questions I made the right decision. This group is awesome for insight, inspiration and answers. Good luck on your journey and I wish you much success with whatever you decide!
  • AdrenilineDad
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    Ive had a couple of people give me that response too...just happened to be those naturally skinny people I want to door as I drive by lol. Seriously though all the responses above are great. I too had a few doubt creep in, but in the end I had tried all the "hard" ways and had lost the weight several times...each ending in regains. I couldn't face doing it again without a tool to help me keep it off. You have to be willing to work it in order for it to work for you. It's a decision you have to make for your self for your own reasons or it will never work. This group is a great group for advice and support...Im starting to think people who get the VSG done are just great human beings. Good luck in whatever you decide...just make sure its your choice. PS after reading these post tomorrow I will start logging my exercise too...thanks
  • bikrchk
    bikrchk Posts: 516 Member
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    My response to that is "How in the world does MY decision to get healthy, regardless of the vehicle my Dr. and I choose to get me there, diminish the effort it takes to get there"? "Any why do you CARE?" "Does it diminish you, personally in any way"? "Are you in some strange competition with me where I "win" and you "lose" if I meet my health goals?" I think not!
  • loriloftness
    loriloftness Posts: 476 Member
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    Thank you all for your words of wisdom and for the support. I have been dieting on & off for decades. I sometimes have short term success, but never long term... and have ended up gaining more so I would weigh more than I started at. I do exercise but as heavy as I currently am, it is a painful and unpleasant activity. I don't know why I let what other people think get into my head-- it must be the "pleaser' personality I have. I originally made the decision to have the sleeve because my health has been deteriorating and losing weight is no longer optional, but mandetory if I want to live a long life. I truly believe this is the right choice for me and I have decided I am not going to let anyone else try to tell me what I should do or how I do it. Again, thank you so much for your words of support. They really have helped get my head back into the right mindset for my new and healthy life.
  • aylajane
    aylajane Posts: 979 Member
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    WLS is a tool, not a solution. It is the same as following WW or taking diet pills or using a stairclimber - if you eat less than you burn you lose weight. Surgery helps you eat less. If you cant do that on your own, you find the tool to help you. WW would be out of business if people thought it was an "easy way out" (and some do...) - but it is not. They just find a way to make it easier for some people to eat less by distracting them with the "points" and making them count something other than calories. Some people need that. Some dont.

    You could also mow your lawn with fingernail clippers and a lot of time... but if you have access to a lawnmower, certainly you would use it. You could change your own oil instead of paying an auto place to do it, but almost everyone takes "the easy way" out on that too. Having access to "tools" or methods or help is not a cop out... it is making the most of your time and maximizing your chance of success. Different tools work for different people. For some, WLS is the tool they need. Only you can decide that for yourself, and in the end what others think means absolutely nothing.
  • NoXCuses4me
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    My doctor doesn't even use the term "weight loss surgery." He considers himself a metabolic specialist. Metabolic syndrome encompasses a multitude of symptoms and health problems, only one of which is (sometimes) obesity. Just Google the term and you'll find many articles (such as the one below) on the subject.

    http://www.bariatricnews.net/?q=opinionblog/11851/what-“metabolic-surgery”

    I'm a good example. I would have been considered a lightweight in the bariatic surgery world. At 52 years old, I was approx 80# overweight. But I tried, literally, for 30+ years to lose that weight. At 5'3" that was a lot of strain on my body. I had high cholesteral, high BP (was on two different BP meds), sleep apnea, and was starting to think I had arthritis my joints ached so much. I had the start of urinary incontinance, very much weight related, not "normal aging" as some would say. I had a family history of stroke and heart disease. I tried to do it "on my own" numerous times, with limited or very short term success. Surgery allowed me to reverse ALL of that! No more meds of any kind - normal BP - no more C-pap machine. No joint pain, no more "leaks" when I sneeze or laugh! I still have more to lose, but I'm half-way there and even at that relatively slow pace, all of those conditions have been reversed.

    If vanity had been my only issue I would not have had surgery. Although I will say size 8 jeans are a whole lot more fun to wear than size 18's!

    It isn't a quick fix - I worked hard and need to get back to working hard to finish this journey. The first 40# was for my health - the next 40 is for me! I now weigh what I weighed in High school, for the first time in 40 years! So happy I did this and have this wonderful tool in my arsenal.

    Good luck with your decision, but it is one you alone (with your doc) needs to make!
  • juliebccs
    juliebccs Posts: 233
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    Is it easy? Well it is easier. Tools tend to do that. Necessity however is the mother of invention. My response. The people who love me see me happy and are happy for me. . What more could I want. Judge me while I run on my treadmill, play sport, travel with less pain and buy my new clothes. Judge me all you want while my health improves and my life becomes mine again. Judge me when I play with my grandchildren in the future. I will probably be too busy to notice.:-D
  • relentless2121
    relentless2121 Posts: 431 Member
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    My response. The people who love me see me happy and are happy for me. . What more could I want. Judge me while I run on my treadmill, play sport, travel with less pain and buy my new clothes. Judge me all you want while my health improves and my life becomes mine again. Judge me when I play with my grandchildren in the future. I will probably be too busy to notice.:-D
    [/quote]

    WELL SAID JULIEBCCS. :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • JenaOnTrack74
    JenaOnTrack74 Posts: 443 Member
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    Every time see this subject come up I think of DJRonnieLINY response in a similar thread:




    " * I know a few people who have pacemakers - guess they are cheating, should have stronger heart
    * I know a few people taking anti-depressants - guess they are cheating, weak minded
    * I know a few people with false teeth - guess they are cheating, didn't brush and floss enough
    * I know a few people who did invitro - guess they are cheating, didn't try hard enough
    * I know a few people who had knee/hip replacement - guess they are cheating, should just limp on through
    * I know a few people who color their hair - guess they are cheating fakes, we should just go grey

    I can go on, and, on ...... I freely tell people that I needed a first step to help me control my hunger and eating. I explain that the surgery simply limits my capacity to eat but that my weight loss and current appearance is the result of my hard work since the operation. Responses have been completely positive. "

    Really love that answer Ronnie!!:wink:


    Don't worry about what others think they are not the ones who are living in YOUR body or will have to live with the problems/weight related diseases, that will undoubtedly come over time. I love all the responses here! I myself will take the opinions of people who have been there done that and most importantly have been SUCCESSFUL, over someone who is uneducated about WLS.

    Good Luck to you!