Show Us your Most Hideous Cycling Kit...
TheBigYin
Posts: 5,686 Member
Inspired by something on my newsfeed earlier, I was reminded of some of the hideous things I used to wear while riding the Bike. If you've been riding for a while, you'll be aware that the fashions in cycle wear do change, maybe not with the same speed as mainstream clothing, but change they do.
I'm unlucky to have been riding in some of the darker days of cycling apparel. It seemed that in the late 1980's everything was incredibly lurid and generally clashed - purple with fluro yellowy or green seemed to be something of a favourite with the MTB face fraternity... But the thing that sparked this thread off for me was the advent of the "eyeshades".
"Hi, My name Is TheBigYin, and I was a fashion victim"
At the time, I loved my Bolle Edge eyeshades to bits. And, to be honest, from behind them, there was a great deal to like. Great optical quality, large exchangeable lenses that kept grit out and away from the contact lenses I used to wear - with a foam brow-pad to stop sweat running into your eyes as well. Brilliant. They even had exchangeable ear-peices - either wrap-around sprung for off-road, so you didn't lose them, and something less grabby for on the road where you occasionally needed to remove them. No, while you were behind them wearing them they were fine.
The problem came when you saw yourself in photographs wearing them. They weren't let us say the most subtle of colourschemes...
And I swear I haven't been playing around with the colour saturation in Instagram with this photo...
Brace yourselves.
lovely aren't they... Doesn't really do them justice, as you can't see the purple/gold iridium finish of the lens very well...
and before you ask, No - I haven't got any photo's of me wearing them, and NO, I don't wear them anymore, because one of the temple-pieces broke off when I hit the ground after being knocked off my bike and into a set of temporary traffic lights over 25 years ago.
Soooo.... who can beat that then :laugh:
I'm unlucky to have been riding in some of the darker days of cycling apparel. It seemed that in the late 1980's everything was incredibly lurid and generally clashed - purple with fluro yellowy or green seemed to be something of a favourite with the MTB face fraternity... But the thing that sparked this thread off for me was the advent of the "eyeshades".
"Hi, My name Is TheBigYin, and I was a fashion victim"
At the time, I loved my Bolle Edge eyeshades to bits. And, to be honest, from behind them, there was a great deal to like. Great optical quality, large exchangeable lenses that kept grit out and away from the contact lenses I used to wear - with a foam brow-pad to stop sweat running into your eyes as well. Brilliant. They even had exchangeable ear-peices - either wrap-around sprung for off-road, so you didn't lose them, and something less grabby for on the road where you occasionally needed to remove them. No, while you were behind them wearing them they were fine.
The problem came when you saw yourself in photographs wearing them. They weren't let us say the most subtle of colourschemes...
And I swear I haven't been playing around with the colour saturation in Instagram with this photo...
Brace yourselves.
lovely aren't they... Doesn't really do them justice, as you can't see the purple/gold iridium finish of the lens very well...
and before you ask, No - I haven't got any photo's of me wearing them, and NO, I don't wear them anymore, because one of the temple-pieces broke off when I hit the ground after being knocked off my bike and into a set of temporary traffic lights over 25 years ago.
Soooo.... who can beat that then :laugh:
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I think I saw Timmy Mallet wearing those ya know
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I have nothing to contribute to this thread... :laugh:0
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Great idea! I have something--just have to figure out how to post a photo...0
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OK...maybe one item...
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Well, I wouldn't exactly call this is "hideous" as much as it is "old school" and before I had any real say so in the spirit of cycling fashion. All I had was my dad's hand-me-downs.
Circa '90, military school cycling team (I'm on the top right beside the guy in uniform),
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The Toshiba jersey? Far from hideous. :bigsmile:0
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The Toshiba jersey? Far from hideous. :bigsmile:
Yeah. Probably categorized more retro I suppose.0 -
the "Mondrian" La Vie Claire is an absolute design classic. Now if we're talking Retro kit that was pretty rough, how about the "Faux Denim" shorts from the Carrera team used...
Not my picture...
I must admit, I have one of the Carrera shirts from 1990 (I know it's from 1990, because it's got the "italia 90" worls cup football logo on the side panels...) but I think mine must have been a "licensed copy" because the "denim" bits are actually solid blue. Frankly, I think this is an improvement.
Must have a dig through some of the old "retro" kit - I think I've a "Raleigh Cammish" shirt that would qualify for the hideous bin as well...0 -
well - after a rummage in "the kitbag of doom"... here we go...
Carrera Jeans 1990 Shirt...
#carrerajeans #pantani #italia90
in surprisingly good nick considering it's nearly a 1/4 century old. Size XL (italian sizing, that'll be 19" armpit to armpit) and it's not exactly stretchy. I guess this was one of the shirts from when I was under 80kg then... This one's destined to be ornamental I guess...
and the Raleigh - Ian Cammish Shirt.
#raleigh #santini #cammish
Actually, the Cammish isn't as bad as I remembered, and is only about 1 size too small for me now (i.e. it goes on, but looks like it's a skinsuit and I look like a pile of assorted doorknobs in a blue and white condom!) - also in the kitbag of doom were the matching shorts, which I made the mistake of trying on. Big mistake. Anyone who knows what happens to old lycra kit will have an idea why... as I put them on the following thoughts went through my mind.
Ooohhh - theres a blast from the past - no bibs, and a REAL LEATHER chamois. That's going to be rough if I pull them all the way on.
Oh dear, they don't feel very sturdy - it's good to see the state of the art of kit manufacture has improved.
Why have they gone all brown.
Oh Bugger - that's all the elastic threads that have perished, and now snapped into tiny pieces. Better brush them off then remove the shorts.
Oh Arsebiscuits - brushing them off was a bad move - the damned things have just gone completely transparent, and are in imminent danger of falling to my ankles.
Crap - now I need to get a shower to remove all the bits of rubber from my crevices, then hoover up the damned carpets.
so - I won't be taking photo's of them, and certainly won't be riding anywhere in them again!0 -
All these are from 1989-91 or thereabouts.
Not to bad
Local club's imitation 7-11 team kit
Here's you lime/purple combo from Trek
And lastly, the ugliest tights I've ever seen. I did ride with them way back when, and now that I've lost 40 pounds, they fit for the first time in decades. But I don't think I'll ride in them now...
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...
Local club's imitation 7-11 team kit
Here's you lime/purple combo from Trek
And lastly, the ugliest tights I've ever seen. I did ride with them way back when, and now that I've lost 40 pounds, they fit for the first time in decades. But I don't think I'll ride in them now...
The 7-11 "Homage" is rather cool - the yellow fluo/purple is the stuff of nightmares as I said earlier, but those tights - sweet baby cheeses - last time I saw something like that, David Lee Roth was prancing around the stage in them...0 -
I think Slo has it in the bag Game Over!0
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but those tights - sweet baby cheeses - last time I saw something like that, David Lee Roth was prancing around the stage in them...
Good thing I'd set down my tea mug before scrolling down, or I'd be giving my keyboard a bath right now.
I had a Team Zap! T-shirt back then, too, but it shrunk and was donated to Goodwill long ago. I'd forgotten about that until picking a fantasy team jersey.0 -
No fair--you fellas need to post pics "wearing" those kits!!!0
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No fair--you fellas need to post pics "wearing" those kits!!!
Yes. Infinite internet points will be rewarded. :laugh:0 -
Carrera Shirt... well, it just ain't ever going to happen - 38" chest shirt and a 46" chest (if I breath out and hope for the best) me aren't going to match up anytime soon.
The Cammish - If I hit "target" I'll post it gladly.
The Bolle Specs are broken - one of the armpieces are missing and they just won't sit in place unless I superglued the nose-piece to me.
In short HELL NO!0 -
OK...maybe one item...
THAT is friggin' awesome. I don't dress like a cyclist at all when I ride (I'm more of a baggy shorts and tank top kinda guy) but I would wear that in a heartbeat.0 -
Ok - I don't have pictures so you'll have to take my word at what they were.... but I made homemade shorts (no padding) for the ex hubby in day glow orange, pink and lime yellow back in the 80s because it was so hard to find shorts for him. They were BRIGHT and incredibly hard to sew in that new stretchy fabric on a very old sewing machine. Poor guy - he wore them though and you could see him three miles down the road.
TBY - your story on the shorts made me laugh. The images were too much. :laugh:0 -
Just got this today...
EPIC.
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All these are from 1989-91 or thereabouts.
And lastly, the ugliest tights I've ever seen. I did ride with them way back when, and now that I've lost 40 pounds, they fit for the first time in decades. But I don't think I'll ride in them now...
I love it all. Can't say why. Maybe because I have no gear, maybe because I have a tacky heart. I'd wear those tights, and I would feel fabulous. I'd wear any of that. =p0 -
ohmygosh...this is fantastic. I wish I could find some pics from some of my earlier rides. there is one in some sunglasses are truly hideous and I think they were Oakley! also one with me wearing some blinding white crew socks...0
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The La Vie Claire jersey is a classic! In fact, I still wear one on rides. Only really bad piece of kit I had was the old style athletic socks I used to put over my shoes in the winter.0
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Just got this today...
EPIC.
Now that is one Fugly looking Onesie...:sick:0 -
Just got this today...
EPIC.
Dear lord that's quite an assault to the senses! 0 -
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I'm pretty sure these are both safety violations if worn on the road.0 -
I probably shouldn't do this..... but I'm going to. My husband's MTB race team kit came in with the wrong colors this year (however, it wasn't much better with the right colors either). At least they are easy to pick out in the crowd.
Also, this is another local racing team. I think they do mostly Endro. I think these are onsies:
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Well, I feel bad for whatever happens to the poor fella who might make fun of your husband's kit...just judging from the upper arm triceps size it looks like a punch would pack some power there!0
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Well, I feel bad for whatever happens to the poor fella who might make fun of your husband's kit...just judging from the upper arm triceps size it looks like a punch would pack some power there!
LOL. Yes. However he'd probably agree with anyone who did. And besides coming in the wrong color they were also all smaller than the samples (and some of the printing was crocked) making them extra tight on his arms (he doesn't have the typical endurance MTBer build). They did get an entirely new order of kits but had to do the first few races of the season in the "Skittles" ones as he calls them.0 -
Just got this today...
EPIC.
Cross will be BOSS this year. :bigsmile:0 -
Oh gosh!...It's spreading!!!...:bigsmile:
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