Working Through Tragedy

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SimplySusan63
SimplySusan63 Posts: 88 Member
Old habits die hard.

This past week my step-son (39 years old) took his own life. He has struggled all his life with a wounded spirit. This has been a very difficult time for our whole family.

And old habits die hard.

I have struggled since Thursday with my eating habits. I want to eat my sorrow away. I want to sit in front of the TV and 'veg out.' God has been very gracious in bringing great friends in from out of town this weekend (a trip planned for several months). We played, cried, worked, and cried some more. Overall their visit was a beautiful distraction. But while they were here I ate more than I should have and foods that I should have avoided, and exercise . . . well, that just didn't happen. I really need to get back on track - even walking through tragedy.

Replies

  • Thaeda
    Thaeda Posts: 834 Member
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    How awful. I cannot even imagine. Please be gentle with yourself and just do what you can to care for you.
  • katematt313
    katematt313 Posts: 624 Member
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    I am so sorry for your loss. What a tragedy.

    Just remember that by being healthy, eating well, and exercising, you are nourishing your body and soul. You are doing something good for yourself. You need that nourishment now more than ever.

    If you can, try to make the decision not to comfort yourself with food - it may feel good now, but it does not do anything good for you in the long run. When your friends and family ask what they can do for you, tell them that you would appreciate it if they could make you something healthy to eat - no casseroles - just grilled chicken or shrimp and veggies. I am sure that your friends would be happy to do this for you.
  • Ksh1055
    Ksh1055 Posts: 248 Member
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    I'm so sorry. Your post brought tears to my eyes. My condolences to you, your husband and families. If you're not hungry, try to take a few bites of something simple but high in protein that you can just grab and eat throughout the day. Take care of yourself and those in your house who are also suffering from this great loss.
  • rpyle111
    rpyle111 Posts: 1,066 Member
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    So sorry to hear. Our prayers and thoughts to you and your family.
  • Liongoddess
    Liongoddess Posts: 107 Member
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    Oh my goodness, so sorry to hear of your loss. Please know that you are in our thoughts and prayers.
  • authorwriter
    authorwriter Posts: 323 Member
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    My condolences go with you.
  • lp1968
    lp1968 Posts: 8
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    I understand your grief! My 18 year old niece died of an infection the day I was released from the hospital! Luckily I am still healing or I would be very tempted to go out for a few cocktails and food!!!
  • karensdream
    karensdream Posts: 135 Member
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    I am so sorry for your loss. Death is a tragedy no matter what, but so hard to comprehend when it is at someones own hand. My prayers are with you and your family. I totally get what you are struggling with, because I am in a similar situation. Last August my mother had a severe fall with broken bones and a head injury. A prolonged hospitalization, rehab, and recovery, as well as some emerging dementia issues have taken over my life for the better part of a year now, and I have totally gotten off track. It's a constant struggle with old behaviours and having a good support system in place is imperative. Don't give up on your goals. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Best of luck to you
  • relentless2121
    relentless2121 Posts: 431 Member
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    My heartfelt sympathy goes out to you, your husband and families. There is a lot of support on this site. We are here for you. Please check in with us when you are up to it. Big Hugs to you my friend. :heart:
  • capecodgirl50
    capecodgirl50 Posts: 111 Member
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    so sorry for your loss. May his memory be eternal.
  • pawoodhull
    pawoodhull Posts: 1,759 Member
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    So sorry for your loss and praying for all of you who love him and are grieving. As was already said here, be kind to yourself, patient and understanding. You may be off track a bit right now, but this is a horrible time and it won't be this way forever. Maybe you can ask a close friend to help you by getting you to go for a walk every day for awhile. Ask those who want to bring food to either don't or be specific on what you really can't have in the house. Your health is still a priority for you.

    I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but it will get easier. As much as you mourn the loss, please know there wasn't anything you or anyone else could have done to prevent this and that now he is not suffering any longer. I believe that God has a special place for people like your step son and they are free from their demons and at peace.
  • SimplySusan63
    SimplySusan63 Posts: 88 Member
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    Thank you everyone for your encouragement and prayers. God is good ALL the time, even when we don't understand. I will rest in Him!
  • loriloftness
    loriloftness Posts: 476 Member
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    So sorry for you and your whole family. Be patient with yourself. You know the path you need to take for weight loss and health, and you will find it again.
  • Mangopickle
    Mangopickle Posts: 1,509 Member
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    Dearheart, grieve. Just grieve and cry. Hail Mary and a hug winging its way to you
  • DeweyRN
    DeweyRN Posts: 18 Member
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    Mangopickle could not have said it more perfectly! It hasn't even been a week for you just yet, it is all so raw. Do the best you can to put one foot in front of the other and above all, please please please allow yourself to sit in the midst of all of the feelings without placing any expectations on yourself. So deeply sorry for such a tremendous heart break.
  • asia1967
    asia1967 Posts: 707 Member
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    My condolences to you and your family. There are no words that will make this better. Know that everyone is in your corner and praying for you and your family. Do what you need to, to take care of yourself for now. This is a trying time and you have the inner strength to get through this. Just be patient with yourself and give yourself time to mourn and heal. All the best to you and your family.