Expat Rants

bregalad5
bregalad5 Posts: 3,965 Member
Post your rants about living abroad here. We all have them!
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Replies

  • BuoyantSoul
    BuoyantSoul Posts: 117 Member
    Honestly I don't have many rants.

    Here in China it's easy to find a lot of hateful, angry, racist foreigners who seem to despise China and Chinese people but like taking advantage of the exploitative economy and using Chinese women. I guess that would be my main rant. Many of the other foreigners here behave like animals. It's really a shame. It's no wonder many people hate foreigners. In some ways I do, too. The internet forums are FULL of rants about how much it sucks to live in China and how bad Chinese people are, mostly written by barely-literate "English teachers" who are only here because they can't get by in their home countries and standards are lax here. I have worked with several of them, too. That breaks my heart. Go elsewhere then if you feel that way, nobody needs you here. China is an amazing country and Chinese people are human beings just like you. If you're a guest in another country you should behave as such.

    The only thing that really gets to me still is people staring at me. Where I live, foreigners are uncommon, and I stick out like a sore thumb, especially since you could describe my fashion style as "adventurous". I realize it's only curiosity and I don't hold it against anyone, but there are many days when I'm just not in the mood to be gawked at and followed around and giggled at and photographed secretly. In the end I can't let it get to me as I do love this country and find it a privilege to be here. Plus the wonderful students I have had over the years MORE than make up for any minor annoyances.
  • TampaExPat
    TampaExPat Posts: 29 Member
    In Panama, it's the drivers. The Latin America driving stereotypes definitely apply here. People drive like maniacs. They make up their own rules, run red lights, make their own lanes, etc. It's somewhat funny, because it completely conflicts with the attitude of the rest of the culture. The culture here is very much a "manana" attitude, where everything moves slowly, and people will get around to doing things when they feel like it. But when it comes to driving, I feel like everyone thinks they're Sandra Bullock from Speed, where if they go below a certain speed limit, a bomb is going to go off. My wife and I refuse to get a car here because we're terrified of driving (and she's from here). Even when we're passengers, it's still scary.

    Another thing that sometimes sucks is getting "gringo'd." It's when service providers will charge you more than something costs because you're American, and they think you'll pay it. It's particularly bad with taxis. My wife is very light skinned, so they mistake her for a foreigner a lot, and try to pull it on us sometimes. They get an earful when she's in the car with me, but if I'm by myself, good luck.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    <--- currently living in Bahrain.

    the ongoing civil unrest.... I was stuck on Sheikh Isa bin Salman highway because the police closed it because someone did something on the other carriageway that required a huge civil defence vehicle and a bunch of police and army to clean it up... was too far down the highway to see what it was, I just drove past it when they let our carriageway go... while the other carriageway was completely empty for a stretch, then I saw all the civil defence clean-up people, then the police blocking the other carriageway. I missed Godzilla because of this :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: and made a note to myself to take a different route home...

    one time I was a hour late picking my daughter up from school because they closed the highway. Half the time it's not even clear why they're closing it... sometimes it's to catch the people who are causing trouble (one incident killed 3 police and they're out to get them - they don't target civilians, it's only police/army that's in danger) other times it's because someone caused trouble so they had to close the road for that... and sometimes the highway's blocked because of an accident (Gulf driving...!)

    Another rant is the fact that there the three main highways are called "Sheikh Isa bin Salman highway" "Sheikh Khalifa bin Salman highway" and "Sheikh Salman highway"....... like no-one's going to confuse those to, like EVER!! :noway: even when I was stuck on the highway yesterday I called my husband to tell him... I couldn't remember if the junction I was just going past was the one to sheikh salman or sheikh khalifa bin salman.... I've only lived here 2 years.. still get those road names mixed up.



    My other rant is the climate here. I have the ideal body proportions for surviving ice age winters (and can prove it with peer reviewed journal articles :laugh: )........... so when I say I'm not cut out for the climate here, I mean I'm really not cut out for the climate here AT ALL.
  • lugiagirl249
    lugiagirl249 Posts: 66 Member
    Current rant is the ****ty rules for getting a driver's license in Sweden.
    Not an EU citizen? Can't swap. American? TOO BAD.
    It's like they think we suck at driving or something.
    So, I vocally curse at Swedish drivers who keep cutting me off at crosswalks. (it happens often.)
    And curse at them for somehow getting their licenses albeit driving so bad.
    All aboard the hate train. It's been going for weeks. :mad: :explode:
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    in Saudi Arabia, my husband could show them his British driving license and get a Saudi one.... I couldn't do the same with my identical British driving license (and several more years driving experience, I might add...) for no reason other than being female... :mad: :explode:


    Bahrain was cool though... just had to pass an eye test and show them my British license and they gave me a Bahraini one :drinker:
  • SmartAlec03211988
    SmartAlec03211988 Posts: 1,896 Member
    Also a drivers license rant...

    In Germany you can swap your American license for a German one... if the state your legal address in the US is in has a reciprocity agreement with Germany. New York, NEW YORK OF ALL PLACES, does not. So I have to go through both the practical and written exams, CPR certification, etc, and take a few driving lessons before I can obtain a German drivers license.

    Such bullcrap. My New York license was arbitrarily valid for the first six months of living here, but after that its not. So for three months now I've been driving with an "invalid" license.
  • bregalad5
    bregalad5 Posts: 3,965 Member
    So I have to go through both the practical and written exams, CPR certification, etc, and take a few driving lessons before I can obtain a German drivers license.

    CPR certification? *scratches head*

    I haven't tried to get a Russian license, but you actually have to go through a psychological evaluation to get a license here.

    Can't you get an international license? Or do they not recognize that there?
  • SmartAlec03211988
    SmartAlec03211988 Posts: 1,896 Member
    Yes, first aid training, so if you come upon or accident, or have an accident, you are able to administer first aid should it come to that. Or something.

    You have to get a German drivers license if your stay is longer than 6 months. Well, I'm planning on staying here forever, so there's that... so a German license it is, then!
  • lugiagirl249
    lugiagirl249 Posts: 66 Member
    Yes, first aid training, so if you come upon or accident, or have an accident, you are able to administer first aid should it come to that. Or something.

    You have to get a German drivers license if your stay is longer than 6 months. Well, I'm planning on staying here forever, so there's that... so a German license it is, then!
    Wow, talk about communal responsibility.
  • bregalad5
    bregalad5 Posts: 3,965 Member
    Yes, first aid training, so if you come upon or accident, or have an accident, you are able to administer first aid should it come to that. Or something.

    You have to get a German drivers license if your stay is longer than 6 months. Well, I'm planning on staying here forever, so there's that... so a German license it is, then!
    Wow, talk about communal responsibility.

    Yeah. Interesting. Good to know, though!
  • BuoyantSoul
    BuoyantSoul Posts: 117 Member
    Yes, first aid training, so if you come upon or accident, or have an accident, you are able to administer first aid should it come to that. Or something.

    That's awesome. I wish people had to do that everywhere.

    Which brings me to another rant. I guess I have more than I thought.

    Here in China there are no "good Samaritan" laws and the legal system is a mess. So what happens is, if there's an accident and anyone stops to help, those people stand a good chance of being held liable for causing the accident or even charged with a crime. Even if you don't approach the scene and just call the police, you are likely to be held accountable for whatever happened, and you will PAY. The sad result is that there are insanely many fatal hit-and-runs, and many accidents where the victims could have been saved but everyone was terrified to help. I mean people literally just lie in the road dying, sometimes for hours, without anyone so much as calling an ambulance, while hundreds of people drive past.

    Add that to the fact that nobody but nobody wears a seat belt here, people regard traffic rules as little more than general guidelines, drunk driving is RAMPANT, and Chinese cars are notoriously crap for safety (I mean they just crumple up like balls of tinfoil), and you kind of understand why China has the highest rate of traffic fatalities in the world. I mean that and the fact that people don't wear helmets on two-wheeled vehicles and infant car seats are completely unheard-of.

    China is stepping up its game in this regard but it's got a long way to go. People here haven't been driving for very long - it's only recently that people have been able to afford cars - and the infrastructure doesn't support driving anyway.
  • TatianaSoe
    TatianaSoe Posts: 38 Member
    Huh... interesting that people bring up drivers licenses. I just turned mine in to be exchanged 3 weeks ago and was going to follow up on it this week. I have been quite stressed over it.

    When I got married last summer I took my husbands name. I changed my name on everything, passport, SS card... everything except my drivers license. Why?, because to change your name on a California divers license it MUST be done in person, NO exceptions. So rather than spending a fortune and flying all the way back just to change my name on a document I can't even use here, I just said "whatever" and forgot about it.

    However, when I went in to exchange it I had to surrender my license because they were going to send it back and request my driving record and criminal record (I think, they weren't clear on exactly what records they needed). I have no idea how the systems are set up but I think that criminal records and such are linked by my SS number. My SS number and all other information will not match my old name on the license. I sent in a copy of my new SS card in case they had trouble getting whatever they needed. Norway knows what's going on with the names and such, I have the name change paperwork here. I am worried about the American bureaucracy not being able to figure it out, using some sort of excuse along the lines of "but the system says..."

    I will be very, very upset if I lose my right to exchange over something so silly because I will have to apply as a first time license. What's the difference? With an exchange I just have to pay the fees, rent a driving test car, and take a practical exam; lame but not too bad. Total cost is about $1000. For a first time license I have to pay the fees, rent a driving test car, take many driving classes including CPR, night driving, and slippery roads, a written test, and a practical test, basically similar to SDegirmanci08. Total cost is about $3000.

    So, there's my little rant. It'll update it when I know which way its going to go.
  • travlinjess
    travlinjess Posts: 243 Member
    Well, this is definitely not a rant …but I found the DL exchange process interesting in Portugal. It started with the doctor. A doctor ordered me to have several medical tests done. SO, at one clinic I had blood-work done. Went to another for a CAT scan of my chest. And finally to another town for an EKG for the heart. Once I had the results in hand, I returned to the doctor for the required health certificate.

    All this cost under 20euro and took about a week, which was great! The interesting thing is I never took an eye test…they never checked them or asked me any questions about my sight. I guess what matters is that I don't have a heart-attack while driving at age 28…who cares if I can't see the signs! lol…luckily for everyone, I have great eyesight.

    So, with med cert, an official form from the US stating a good DL record, and a trip to the municipality office, I had my new Portuguese/EU license in the mail a few weeks later. Not bad at all.

    The best thing that came from that: I discovered I had high cholesterol (which runs in my family), and even though my doctor told me to not worry about it since I don't smoke, I started taking my health much more seriously. It sparked the lifestyle I have today…down ~70lbs….so the tests were a good thing for me!

    Hubby is going through the process now in Denmark, and it's similar to what TatianaSoe described for Norway. He needed a cert from the doctor, who asked a few questions and gave him an eye test. Now, he needs to pass a theory exam, rent a car from a driving school for the practical exam with a police officer, and then he can exchange it. He has a temp one now valid for 3 months. Process could be worse.

    Anyway, good luck to you all who are still in the process…especially to you Tatiana…hope there's no trouble with the paperwork and it works out for ya! :)
  • TatianaSoe
    TatianaSoe Posts: 38 Member
    Huh... interesting that people bring up drivers licenses. I just turned mine in to be exchanged 3 weeks ago and was going to follow up on it this week. I have been quite stressed over it.

    When I got married last summer I took my husbands name. I changed my name on everything, passport, SS card... everything except my drivers license. Why?, because to change your name on a California divers license it MUST be done in person, NO exceptions. So rather than spending a fortune and flying all the way back just to change my name on a document I can't even use here, I just said "whatever" and forgot about it.

    However, when I went in to exchange it I had to surrender my license because they were going to send it back and request my driving record and criminal record (I think, they weren't clear on exactly what records they needed). I have no idea how the systems are set up but I think that criminal records and such are linked by my SS number. My SS number and all other information will not match my old name on the license. I sent in a copy of my new SS card in case they had trouble getting whatever they needed. Norway knows what's going on with the names and such, I have the name change paperwork here. I am worried about the American bureaucracy not being able to figure it out, using some sort of excuse along the lines of "but the system says..."

    I will be very, very upset if I lose my right to exchange over something so silly because I will have to apply as a first time license. What's the difference? With an exchange I just have to pay the fees, rent a driving test car, and take a practical exam; lame but not too bad. Total cost is about $1000. For a first time license I have to pay the fees, rent a driving test car, take many driving classes including CPR, night driving, and slippery roads, a written test, and a practical test, basically similar to SDegirmanci08. Total cost is about $3000.

    So, there's my little rant. It'll update it when I know which way its going to go.

    UPDATE!

    So I got a letter in the mail today from the Norwegian State Road Service and I was granted my exchange! Yay :) So, now I have until Sept 4th to pass the practical test. Whew, thats a load off. Now to focus on mastering some of the new Norwegian driving rules.
  • lugiagirl249
    lugiagirl249 Posts: 66 Member

    So I got a letter in the mail today from the Norwegian State Road Service and I was granted my exchange! Yay :) So, now I have until Sept 4th to pass the practical test. Whew, thats a load off. Now to focus on mastering some of the new Norwegian driving rules.

    congrats!!! :D
  • bregalad5
    bregalad5 Posts: 3,965 Member
    Apparently Russian law doesn't protect tenants. My landlord was allowed to take 15,000 rubles (around $435) from my security deposit, and will be taking the same from my roommate, because our oven is broken ... due to it being ancient. It doesn't matter that we didn't break it, and that in the lease it mentions we're not responsible for the natural depreciation of equipment, they're allowed under the law to do this (we had lawyers look into it). Apparently it also doesn't matter that they admitted this has nothing to do with the oven - that's just their cover - and said that it's because they don't like us :noway:
  • BuoyantSoul
    BuoyantSoul Posts: 117 Member
    Apparently Russian law doesn't protect tenants. My landlord was allowed to take 15,000 rubles (around $435) from my security deposit, and will be taking the same from my roommate, because our oven is broken ... due to it being ancient. It doesn't matter that we didn't break it, and that in the lease it mentions we're not responsible for the natural depreciation of equipment, they're allowed under the law to do this (we had lawyers look into it). Apparently it also doesn't matter that they admitted this has nothing to do with the oven - that's just their cover - and said that it's because they don't like us :noway:

    Uggggh that sucks so much! Sorry to hear about that. Why don't they like you? Are they just a-holes? What is the point of a lease if the law won't enforce it! Damn.
  • bregalad5
    bregalad5 Posts: 3,965 Member
    Apparently Russian law doesn't protect tenants. My landlord was allowed to take 15,000 rubles (around $435) from my security deposit, and will be taking the same from my roommate, because our oven is broken ... due to it being ancient. It doesn't matter that we didn't break it, and that in the lease it mentions we're not responsible for the natural depreciation of equipment, they're allowed under the law to do this (we had lawyers look into it). Apparently it also doesn't matter that they admitted this has nothing to do with the oven - that's just their cover - and said that it's because they don't like us :noway:

    Uggggh that sucks so much! Sorry to hear about that. Why don't they like you? Are they just a-holes? What is the point of a lease if the law won't enforce it! Damn.

    We think they were being sticklers about it because we fought them. From what I've gathered from my co-workers, most people would just pay it if they were told, but we fought, insisting we didn't owe it, and threw the lease in their face.That probably pissed them off. I asked the same, so why did we sign a lease if they're only going to pick and choose what to enforce? Apparently the part about only giving the deposit back when the keys are returned and I'm about to head out the door is more important than the part where I'm not responsible for old things breaking... :/
  • lugiagirl249
    lugiagirl249 Posts: 66 Member
    Apparently Russian law doesn't protect tenants. My landlord was allowed to take 15,000 rubles (around $435) from my security deposit, and will be taking the same from my roommate, because our oven is broken ... due to it being ancient. It doesn't matter that we didn't break it, and that in the lease it mentions we're not responsible for the natural depreciation of equipment, they're allowed under the law to do this (we had lawyers look into it). Apparently it also doesn't matter that they admitted this has nothing to do with the oven - that's just their cover - and said that it's because they don't like us :noway:

    Uggggh that sucks so much! Sorry to hear about that. Why don't they like you? Are they just a-holes? What is the point of a lease if the law won't enforce it! Damn.

    We think they were being sticklers about it because we fought them. From what I've gathered from my co-workers, most people would just pay it if they were told, but we fought, insisting we didn't owe it, and threw the lease in their face.That probably pissed them off. I asked the same, so why did we sign a lease if they're only going to pick and choose what to enforce? Apparently the part about only giving the deposit back when the keys are returned and I'm about to head out the door is more important than the part where I'm not responsible for old things breaking... :/

    What a pain. >:(
  • lugiagirl249
    lugiagirl249 Posts: 66 Member
    Particular expat rant from yesterday.

    So, my fiance's friend decided to throw a party for ex and current co-workers of a bathhouse in town. I was invited and another two expat friends were as well. I was like "Oh great, it's one of these parties again" because my fiance's friends never invites good company.
    They came over before we headed over to my fiance's friend's place which is across the complex we live in. We were hanging out waiting for my baked spareribs to get done so we were talking about how we'd **** with the other invites by putting on accents (me:valley girl, s: dixie, j:aussie) and show them how to have a good time without alcohol (Swedes are the epitome of anti-social party people without alcohol). So, we went down to the party close to a playground and it was deader than dead. This party blew as my expectation predicted. It was about equal girls and guys and of course the anglos were left out. Nobody talked to us. (We also had laundry time so my fiance was taking care of it while I entertained our guests.) Everything was friggin' awkward. Then, J wanted to play in the playground so all three of us swung on the swings and screwed around on some teeter totter thing and rode on some kids horse spring laughing our *kitten* off and having a good time. We came back to the table and like all the girls I swear, were looking weird at us and my fiances friend was like I quote "We were looking at you. Did you guys have fun?" We were like duh! So after while I couldn't take it anymore so S and I ended up heading back to the apartment and my fiance and J stayed for awhile. They ended up coming back about 45mins later. We discussed about what happened. Since the aussie understood more Swedish than S and I, she and my fiance explained that there was some bull**** awkward psychological thing going on at the party with gender roles with the men and women. S and I were like, >_> okay.....wtf? It's like oh the girls act like this and boys act like that... I asked, is that a Swedish thing? Yes, very much so.

    I am so thankful that America taught us how to party. I am also glad that all four us had more fun together than all 9 of them.
    I am never going to his parties again. I can't take the awkward bull****.
    /rant

    Anyone else experience weird people in Scandinavia?
  • 143tobe
    143tobe Posts: 620 Member
    UGH. That sounds just awful. Can't speak for the Swedes, but I think the Germans have a little more fun that that. The most when drinking of course, very mild to moderate when not drinking, but neither compares to the was Americans know how to have fun. Drinking or not, with us, there is never a dull moment. I do get that whole outsider thing though. Either they feel uncomfortable around me, or I'm the one projecting it.

    Well, It's not the same, but a few times a year we have to go to lunch or a BBQ with my husband's family (they're German). I HATTTTE going to these events because they are soooo boring. Hardly anyone even talks. Seriously. Whyyyyyy??? I miss my crazy Mexican-American family. They laughed like hyenas and it was like constantly, ALL DAY LONG!! And my family doesn't drink so that was without any beer!
  • lugiagirl249
    lugiagirl249 Posts: 66 Member
    UGH. That sounds just awful. Can't speak for the Swedes, but I think the Germans have a little more fun that that. The most when drinking of course, very mild to moderate when not drinking, but neither compares to the was Americans know how to have fun. Drinking or not, with us, there is never a dull moment. I do get that whole outsider thing though. Either they feel uncomfortable around me, or I'm the one projecting it.

    Well, It's not the same, but a few times a year we have to go to lunch or a BBQ with my husband's family (they're German). I HATTTTE going to these events because they are soooo boring. Hardly anyone even talks. Seriously. Whyyyyyy??? I miss my crazy Mexican-American family. They laughed like hyenas and it was like constantly, ALL DAY LONG!! And my family doesn't drink so that was without any beer!

    I hear ya on the in-laws. It's the language barrier crap... Mostly. Otherwise they're like everyone else, need to drink alcohol to have fun or talk about things. (As if they ever talk about anything interesting. I hate Swedish politics.) Then again, my father-in-law just hit his 40s, so the generational difference is vast (mom's getting to 50 and my dad is past 50.). Damnit, I miss going to my dad's college friend's parties. She's so cool. *sigh, I need to throw more of my own parties, but, I hardly have any friends. Honestly, I don't think I'll ever have Swedish friends my age because I find my generation here so absolutely boring and conformist. Oh well... :indifferent:
  • TatianaSoe
    TatianaSoe Posts: 38 Member
    Particular expat rant from yesterday.

    So, my fiance's friend decided to throw a party for ex and current co-workers of a bathhouse in town. I was invited and another two expat friends were as well. I was like "Oh great, it's one of these parties again" because my fiance's friends never invites good company.
    They came over before we headed over to my fiance's friend's place which is across the complex we live in. We were hanging out waiting for my baked spareribs to get done so we were talking about how we'd **** with the other invites by putting on accents (me:valley girl, s: dixie, j:aussie) and show them how to have a good time without alcohol (Swedes are the epitome of anti-social party people without alcohol). So, we went down to the party close to a playground and it was deader than dead. This party blew as my expectation predicted. It was about equal girls and guys and of course the anglos were left out. Nobody talked to us. (We also had laundry time so my fiance was taking care of it while I entertained our guests.) Everything was friggin' awkward. Then, J wanted to play in the playground so all three of us swung on the swings and screwed around on some teeter totter thing and rode on some kids horse spring laughing our *kitten* off and having a good time. We came back to the table and like all the girls I swear, were looking weird at us and my fiances friend was like I quote "We were looking at you. Did you guys have fun?" We were like duh! So after while I couldn't take it anymore so S and I ended up heading back to the apartment and my fiance and J stayed for awhile. They ended up coming back about 45mins later. We discussed about what happened. Since the aussie understood more Swedish than S and I, she and my fiance explained that there was some bull**** awkward psychological thing going on at the party with gender roles with the men and women. S and I were like, >_> okay.....wtf? It's like oh the girls act like this and boys act like that... I asked, is that a Swedish thing? Yes, very much so.

    I am so thankful that America taught us how to party. I am also glad that all four us had more fun together than all 9 of them.
    I am never going to his parties again. I can't take the awkward bull****.
    /rant

    Anyone else experience weird people in Scandinavia?


    Here in Norway I have noticed that people need to drink in order to be social. Especially around me, because they will most likely have to use their English if they talk about anything except the weather or something basic like that. Every single Norwegian I have met thinks they speak horrible English, when they speak it almost perfectly. When they do get drunk, they really open up and are curious and fun to be around. I think its sad that they need alcohol to do this.

    I was at a party a few months ago with my husband and at first it was so boring. I really didn't talk to anybody and nobody talked to me. My husband and I agreed that we would give it another hour or so then leave. However, once the drink kicked in, it took a 180. People were laughing and joking and it was like one big group of friends. Some people came up to me and asked me all sorts of questions and were curious about me. I really hit it off with one person in particular, she was an English teacher and we talked about all sorts of things. Even about how Norwegians interact with eachother pre/ post drinking. She agreed that it was sad that alcohol was needed, she told me (and I have heard this many times) that if you are a social person who goes up and talks to strangers, most people will think you are crazy or that you have a developmental disorder. Yet, secretly most Norwegians wish they can be more open and talk to eachother. She told me that once I get past the language barrier that it might be easier for me to be social because people will think "oh, shes just foreign" and not "oh, shes crazy, walk away". I also ended up meeting a person who works in the same area I want to. So, that party really got me thinking about how much people actually have in common, yet are too reserved to get to know eachother (without alcohol).

    However, some of this is my fault, I'm a shy person in bigger social settings with lots of people around. I'm the kind of person who on a Friday night would rather sit in my Pjs, curl up with a good book, and sip some tea rather than dress up and go to bars. Also, its been harder to find things in common with people. I live in a small town where people come to settle down and have kids. I have always lived in big cities or college towns. Most of the people I know have kids and are married or in long term relationships (some of this might be me getting older). Before coming here, none of my friends or people I knew were married with kids (I was the first one to get married, and at a relatively young age). I hung out with other college or graduate students. Which brings me to my next point, there are only a very small handful of people who have a similar level of education as me (good for job hunting, not good for anything else). Most people don't know about or don't care about the same things I do. The few times I have tried to talk about topics relating to psychology or scientific theories or statistics and research, I get a blank glazed look back. My husband went through the same thing (he's a big science/space nerd) growing up here and was sort of the odd one out so he understands and of course I always have him to talk to. I hope this doesn't come off as me sounding stuck up, I do not think less of my neighbours, its just a difference of interests. It makes me feel more lonely and less apart of the community in which I want to belong.
  • TatianaSoe
    TatianaSoe Posts: 38 Member
    Huh... interesting that people bring up drivers licenses. I just turned mine in to be exchanged 3 weeks ago and was going to follow up on it this week. I have been quite stressed over it.

    When I got married last summer I took my husbands name. I changed my name on everything, passport, SS card... everything except my drivers license. Why?, because to change your name on a California divers license it MUST be done in person, NO exceptions. So rather than spending a fortune and flying all the way back just to change my name on a document I can't even use here, I just said "whatever" and forgot about it.

    However, when I went in to exchange it I had to surrender my license because they were going to send it back and request my driving record and criminal record (I think, they weren't clear on exactly what records they needed). I have no idea how the systems are set up but I think that criminal records and such are linked by my SS number. My SS number and all other information will not match my old name on the license. I sent in a copy of my new SS card in case they had trouble getting whatever they needed. Norway knows what's going on with the names and such, I have the name change paperwork here. I am worried about the American bureaucracy not being able to figure it out, using some sort of excuse along the lines of "but the system says..."

    I will be very, very upset if I lose my right to exchange over something so silly because I will have to apply as a first time license. What's the difference? With an exchange I just have to pay the fees, rent a driving test car, and take a practical exam; lame but not too bad. Total cost is about $1000. For a first time license I have to pay the fees, rent a driving test car, take many driving classes including CPR, night driving, and slippery roads, a written test, and a practical test, basically similar to SDegirmanci08. Total cost is about $3000.

    So, there's my little rant. It'll update it when I know which way its going to go.

    UPDATE!

    So I got a letter in the mail today from the Norwegian State Road Service and I was granted my exchange! Yay :) So, now I have until Sept 4th to pass the practical test. Whew, thats a load off. Now to focus on mastering some of the new Norwegian driving rules.

    So I passed my test and now have my Norwegian license, just thought I would give this another positive update in case anyone is still following this thread :)
  • lugiagirl249
    lugiagirl249 Posts: 66 Member

    UPDATE!

    So I got a letter in the mail today from the Norwegian State Road Service and I was granted my exchange! Yay :) So, now I have until Sept 4th to pass the practical test. Whew, thats a load off. Now to focus on mastering some of the new Norwegian driving rules.


    So I passed my test and now have my Norwegian license, just thought I would give this another positive update in case anyone is still following this thread :)

    Awesome! I'm so happy for you! :DDDDD
  • lugiagirl249
    lugiagirl249 Posts: 66 Member
    Here in Norway I have noticed that people need to drink in order to be social. Especially around me, because they will most likely have to use their English if they talk about anything except the weather or something basic like that. Every single Norwegian I have met thinks they speak horrible English, when they speak it almost perfectly. When they do get drunk, they really open up and are curious and fun to be around. I think its sad that they need alcohol to do this.

    (edit for space)

    Hey! It’s been a long time!

    Drinking in Sweden is like a ritual. I have an ex-pat friend who lives on the top floor of an apartment with the balcony facing the main street in town. On the 4th of July, she, my fiancé, and I sat there watching dozens of people going in to Systembolaget and getting several cases of beer/wine. Shopping carts filled with alcohol for the weekend. This is a town of 25k, mind you. This happens every weekend. Nobody has anything else to do except get **** faced. We only have two bars that can legally sell alcohol and it’s not cheap. My fiances’ friend had a (mutual friend of my fiancé as well) buddy and his gf come up for the weekend from Borås and they sat and drank every night. We didn’t bother to visit. People only get courageous here when they drink and I don’t pity them.

    Eh, most Swedes accept it as a way of life and most don’t talk about it.

    Nah, I don’t think it’s your fault! I’d rather be have a casual time with friends, or spend some alone time with the man, or play video games with him. I don’t drink much. I can’t stand Swedish weekend way of life. If I want to go out, it’s a fancy dinner at a high end restaurant to avoid obnoxious Swedes who think drinking and being loud is OK even at the local high end one in town for the Christmas buffet. (story for another time.)

    Being 25 and in Sweden has made it tough for me to fit in. MY GOD, working as a home language teacher in a few schools has brought some really annoying questions: Are you married? Do you have kids? Will you have kids? CHILD FREE? HOLY **** I’M SWEDISH AND WHAT IS THIS?!?!? Yep. A majority of women in my age bracket already have kids. I live in the same type of town you do. Parents move in from the cities to raise their kids in “safe neighborhoods;” whatever the hell that means. I’m pretty much in the same boat as, actually, let me rephrase: we are in the same boat as you. My fiancé and I have a hard time finding people to be with. Swedes at our age have no interests. No hobbies. Nothing. The man comes home from work bewildered because co-workers are amazed at how I play games with him, play music with him, do things with him… Their reply is always “We don’t have time. We have kids.” No Swedish girl my age in this town is interested in Physics. Awesome. No girl has similar passions as I do. On week 25, I attended a tennis camp for a week only to end up quitting after the first day. Why? I was the youngest person there by 20 YEARS. Why? Jantelagen. Google it. It exists all over Scandinavia. ****ing Jantelagen. The destroyer of individuality and the enforcer of institutionalization of the gender roles. That’s right. We’re not stuck up. It’s a system. We grew up in the land of free thinking and being who you want to be. Having pastimes, interests, collections, sport participation; there's nothing wrong with us, there’s something very wrong with them… We feel lonely too. I hope that we move closer to Stockholm so at least maybe I can bond with more college types from the U.S or something. So he can find better friends. I am very bitter writing this. I hoped that maybe I’d make Swedish friends here to my disappointment. The women my age aren’t interested in science; they’re interested in men, make-up, babies, drinking, and sex added with a dollop with uninteresting personalities. I do feel alienated. I really do. But, I’ve given up right about now and don’t wish to make friends with the natives. ****, I don’t need to tell them to **** off. They already do that. They see me with my tennis bag going to practice, “oh ****, she plays tennis for REALLLZ. WTF LOL OMG” When I play tennis, I’ve playing with kids 10 years my junior. The parents look at me like I’m ****ing weird. I take my sport seriously and… There’s no one my age playing seriously (maybe not even casually for that matter!) within a 25 mile radius (probably bigger). They see us walking down the street together holding hands talking about difficult subjects like politics, real estate, science, computers, culture; you name it. I see their faces with intimidation and fear because English and having an opinion (a part of Swedish culture is that you’re not allowed an opinion). I look at my female peers all with strollers looking at us weird cause we don’t have one and we chuckle cause we don’t want one. They walk far away from us or turn the other direction. People know me in this town by appearance. I don’t dress like them. It’s an immediate 6 steps back/away.

    Well, I’m going to stop ranting for now cause it’s getting too long and all kinds of pent up anger.

    Can’t wait to hear similar rants.
  • setee77
    setee77 Posts: 14 Member
    So sorry, I know it can be SOOOOO hard to be in a place with no friends. I have faced similar situations in life, well actually most of my life. This is just from my experience and maybe others have found something else to be true but I feel that if you are in the smaller cities in any country including the U.S. it can be difficult to find things to do that you enjoy as well as people who you feel gel best with you. Bigger cities just have more variety in that way. Hope you will find some friends soon or get to another place where you find some. Until then..... we are here for you, though not the same thing, I understand.
  • BuoyantSoul
    BuoyantSoul Posts: 117 Member
    Okay, here's my new rant.

    Here in China women are supposed to be "weak". That's the ideal. Be soft and skinny, unable to get up a flight of stairs without nearly dying. That's okay, because there are *~teh menz~* to help you with everything! If I had wu mao for every time some man tried to help me open a bottle of water... I mean geezus... a bottle of water. Women here can't open a bottle of water by themselves?

    None of the women want to be in good shape. They all want to be skinny, but not fit or strong. In fact, all the women I know wrinkle their noses at the idea of having a visible muscle. OMG, so gross, no man will ever want you, etc. Women join the gym so they can walk very slowly on a treadmill for 10 minutes and then go home. Skipping dinner is the preferred method of weight loss/maintenance.

    The end result is that women here can barely withstand a stiff breeze without falling over, let alone do anything requiring serious physical effort. And everybody is so proud of the fact that women and men are supposedly equal in Chinese society. I call bull on this one and feel RAGE when people idealize women for possessing all the muscle control of a newborn infant. Whatever happened to the kung fu ladies? Holy crap. This just seems like another way of keeping men in charge.
  • lugiagirl249
    lugiagirl249 Posts: 66 Member
    So sorry, I know it can be SOOOOO hard to be in a place with no friends. I have faced similar situations in life, well actually most of my life. This is just from my experience and maybe others have found something else to be true but I feel that if you are in the smaller cities in any country including the U.S. it can be difficult to find things to do that you enjoy as well as people who you feel gel best with you. Bigger cities just have more variety in that way. Hope you will find some friends soon or get to another place where you find some. Until then..... we are here for you, though not the same thing, I understand.

    I know I had trouble finding friends in my hometown of 80k too. But, living close to college made things better. I hope that we move close to Stockholm soon. I'd like to have college friends again and I'm sure my fiance would appreciate some cool new friends too.

    Story from yesterday, even my brother in law alienated me at a bar. My friend Jenny (who grew up in Australia) and I decided to go see my BIL go play (he has his own band) at our Harry's bar downtown last night. We got there 10min before 7pm and they started playing for about 30mins before dinner time break. Jenny and I sat down on a couch that extends around the wall in the bar to enjoy some fondue. The boys came in with their women and sat down. I said hi to him and he immediately ignored me again. What I thought was happening since I was there to see him, that we'd all sit in a group and talk. Well, as soon as they sat down, everyone got up and moved to a booth that not all of them fit in anyway. My BIL didn't say anything to me or looked at me. Jenny and I looked at each other and were like wtf. We sat there for 45mins eating our fondue and finishing our drinks and we decided that we'd leave. We felt ignored and stopped having fun. We thought it was because the girls were insecure. My fiance said it wasn't cause it was me or Jenny, but it was because OH GOD WE AREN'T GOOD AT ENGLISH [internal wailing]. Don't get me wrong, I'd talk Swedish and I can. Jenny is fluent in Swedish. But, now that I think about it, we'd feel left out anyway. I dunno. I was sad about it last night. I feel better today though.
    Okay, here's my new rant.

    Here in China women are supposed to be "weak". That's the ideal. Be soft and skinny, unable to get up a flight of stairs without nearly dying. That's okay, because there are *~teh menz~* to help you with everything! If I had wu mao for every time some man tried to help me open a bottle of water... I mean geezus... a bottle of water. Women here can't open a bottle of water by themselves?

    None of the women want to be in good shape. They all want to be skinny, but not fit or strong. In fact, all the women I know wrinkle their noses at the idea of having a visible muscle. OMG, so gross, no man will ever want you, etc. Women join the gym so they can walk very slowly on a treadmill for 10 minutes and then go home. Skipping dinner is the preferred method of weight loss/maintenance.

    The end result is that women here can barely withstand a stiff breeze without falling over, let alone do anything requiring serious physical effort. And everybody is so proud of the fact that women and men are supposedly equal in Chinese society. I call bull on this one and feel RAGE when people idealize women for possessing all the muscle control of a newborn infant. Whatever happened to the kung fu ladies? Holy crap. This just seems like another way of keeping men in charge.

    I've heard that they treat their women like that. How do they treat you over there?
  • lugiagirl249
    lugiagirl249 Posts: 66 Member
    New small rant. The whole time I've been here in Sweden I've had problems with certain orders/ purchasing foodstuffs and my fiance has had problems with his workplaces. Nobody understand what it means to do ****ing inventory. I'm really mad right now because I ordered a damn Samsung Galaxy S5 in blue and it's out of stock and will be until ****ing September (and they only order a few phones at a time? wtf?). What part do Swedes not understand about demand? This is not just my experience, my fiance deals with this all the time in his previous work and his current. He used to work at the bathhouse in town. His team leader is NOTORIOUS for not doing inventory so the employees steal stuff. But, the worst is when they ran out of ice cream often. I hung out at his work a lot because I had nothing to do a lot of the time. I would go to the freezer and like there would be like one or two types of ice cream that had low stocks(the norm is that they have 10 types of ice cream). The customers would complain every time but his exboss would never restock until everything was gone. I bet you she still does it. Now, my fiance works at a card making company. They always run out of material for the cards and it holds up production because nobody does inventory ahead of time. I give him the bert stare and ask don't the higher ups do something about this? (i wont even go there cause its a can of worms) Anyway, I often go to the gas station by our place or go to the grocery store to get foodstuffs. I see empty fridges where milk goes and empty snack cases w/e. I ask if there is any in the back, and they say no and the stock will come in like a week. I wanted sour cream. How do they **** this up? Do they not know that demand is a fact of life and people will always want a product? I don't know if it's cause they're stingy or if nobody gives a **** to do their job. ugh.