Insulted when people tell me I will get rid of my dog
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Binky_Muffin
Posts: 191 Member
What is it that makes people tell me I will get rid of my dog when the baby gets here? I find this insulting and insensitive. Me and DH put a lot of work into training our dog so that she will be easy to manage when the baby gets here. She's really no trouble at all. I had dogs throughout my childhood. My parents never got rid of them.
The dog was there for us when we were struggling with the fact that our IVF didn't work. We got her at a time when we were very sad. She added so much joy to our lives and she made the prospect of us living without children seem perfectly fine. She's added so much more to our lives than the people who say we will get rid of her when the baby gets here. I may just get rid of them when the baby gets here.
I've heard this several times and it really insults me each and every time. Only because certain living things in their lives are disposable doesn't mean they are to me. I don't judge people who do what is necessary for them, but please keep your thoughts to yourself.
I will not get rid of my dog. She may be a pain in the butt at times but she is part of our family.
Anyone else get this?
ETA: I needed to vent this out. Sierra has added so much to our lives that I get really sensitive about her.
The dog was there for us when we were struggling with the fact that our IVF didn't work. We got her at a time when we were very sad. She added so much joy to our lives and she made the prospect of us living without children seem perfectly fine. She's added so much more to our lives than the people who say we will get rid of her when the baby gets here. I may just get rid of them when the baby gets here.
I've heard this several times and it really insults me each and every time. Only because certain living things in their lives are disposable doesn't mean they are to me. I don't judge people who do what is necessary for them, but please keep your thoughts to yourself.
I will not get rid of my dog. She may be a pain in the butt at times but she is part of our family.
Anyone else get this?
ETA: I needed to vent this out. Sierra has added so much to our lives that I get really sensitive about her.
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Replies
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you probably won't get rid of her, but you will have less time for her. Everyone has different priorities, once baby comes that will be your #1 I think that's all people mean by it. I have a cat I've had since I was 18 and a dog I've had since I was 20. I'm now 35 and have four kids. I didn't get rid of them, but they are not the "babies" my life once revolved around. Don't let it bother you, it's not worth it to worry so much about what other people say.0
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I'm sorry people have been offending you. I know it's hard not to worry about what they say, especially when so many people say it! I'm guessing a lot of them assume that not only because of the time factor, but because of her breed?
My mom got a rottweiler when my brother and I were both under 3 years of age.... everybody had an absolute fit! She's been breeding and training/showing dogs for years, but mostly collies. So the rottweiler made everyone panic. But you know what? She just ignored them, trained the dog AND trained my brother and I how to handle him.
So just keep on doing what you're doing. It'll work out okay. ::flowerforyou: There will definitely be an adjustment for both you and the dog, but it CAN be done with no love lost! In time, that dog and your child will be the best of friends.
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We have always had dogs and I also went through fertility treatments with my oldest so I here you. They are constant companions and best friends. I have 3 boys and 2 dogs and I am pregnant again. Still love my doggies!0
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I know just how you feel. I had someone at work tell me I would get rid or at least they would become outside dogs when baby arrived. Nope. They are my babies too. That was almost 5 years ago that stupid lady said that. I have a video of bringing baby home to our 2 fur babies. They looooved him. We have since lost both to being old and a gull bladder problem but have adopted another. Our pug is my sons best friend. We are trying to adopt another pug that we have fallen in love with. It's a long drawn out process just to adopt. It's crazy but worth it.
You won't get rid of your first baby just because you have another. Most people don't understand the amount of love I have and I assume you have for our pets. We have always had dogs and what ever may come you figure it out. You won't have as much time with them to start with but that is the same when you have another baby and the older kid gets less time too. Newborns are 100% attention for the first few months. It evens out.0 -
Thank you for the replies everyone. The dog is well-behaved and calm. We've put a lot of work into her. We treat her as our dog and not our child because that is what is best for her. Many people told us we wouldn't be able to handle a Rottweiler and said we would get rid of her. We've had her for 7 months and never once thought of getting rid of her. They are a very misunderstood breed.
Anyhow, thanks for listening.0 -
I'm coming from the opposite perspective and will just say to be prepared. We adopted out our German Shepherd (that we loved dearly) because handling him with my son was too much and then I got pregnant again. The hair everywhere was atrocious! Granted he was a huge dog and very demanding so the situation may be completely different. Don't listen to people, you'll do what's right for you and that's that! :-)0
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I think people just like to run their mouths with "advice" when motherhood comes into the equation.
My sister has two (bigger) dogs (a lab and a bulldog) that she and her spouse have kept and cared well for, their firstborn is now one. Now that I'm pregnant people want to tell me to get rid of my cat, among other obnoxious unasked for suggestions.
Your kid is going to grow up to love your pup just as you and your significant other do, don't worry what people say0 -
Someone at work asked me what we were going to 'do' with our two cats when the baby is born - I advised them that i didn't understand the question - what did they think we might do. I was brought up from birth with dogs and cats and it's not done me any harm - just turned me into an animal lover. And if my child turns out to be an animal lover, I'll be happy! I think the previous poster was correct saying that the focus will change - we will all of course have to adapt and will give more time/attention to the baby. My view is that if you have trained your dog properly and developed it to be a well behaved dog, then you won't have a problem - the questions tend to be asked by people who have no experience of well trained dogs!0
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I'm coming from the opposite perspective and will just say to be prepared. We adopted out our German Shepherd (that we loved dearly) because handling him with my son was too much and then I got pregnant again. The hair everywhere was atrocious! Granted he was a huge dog and very demanding so the situation may be completely different. Don't listen to people, you'll do what's right for you and that's that! :-)
German Sheppard's are high maintenance dogs. I understand why you rehomed her. It sounds like you guys did what was best for your family. :flowerforyou:
From what I understand, they shed way more than Rottweilers. They make good outdoor dogs. Luckily, our dog is very small for a Rottie and very obedient. DH handles most of the training and he's very good at it. In addition, she's very calm and only one year. She will be 1.5 years when we have the baby and she will be calmer.
We do crate her and that really helps. She's content in the crate when we are at work. In addition, we limit where she's allowed to go in the house. The kitchen and upstairs (where the three bedrooms are located) are off limits. The furniture is off limits as well. That really helps with the hair.
She's not a barker and doesn't jump on people. In addition, she's very good at walking. Like I said, we put a lot of work into her and we are ramping that up now because of the baby.
The dog is well aware of her order in the "pack" hierarchy. We are #1, the cat is #2, the rabbits are #3 and she's #4. LOL. She will be totally unsurprised when the baby takes the #2 spot and all of the animals are bumped down one notch. She really doesn't need much attention as long as she has her daily walk, which she does get. She lies down most of the day and she's content simply being in the same room as us.
Quite honestly, me and DH do not give her our undivided attention. We only show her limited amounts of affection and only when she is calm. People think we are too rigid with her, but this is coming from people with unruly dogs who run their household and have behaviour issues. They think Sierra is a good dog naturally. Ugh, no. We train her and treat her as she expects to be treated. It works out for everyone.
What is our saving grace is the fact that we also own a 1 acre property on a lake with a cottage. We are very active and include her in our activities whether that be biking, walking or blueberry picking. We plan on doing those things with the baby as well. The dog will still be included.
I know I'm rambling but I'm just trying to paint a picture of what it is like in our household. Many people think we are mean, but those people have no clue about proper dog training. When we speak to dog trainers, they are very pleased with the way Sierra is handled. They agree that this is what is best for her and our household.
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Someone at work asked me what we were going to 'do' with our two cats when the baby is born - I advised them that i didn't understand the question - what did they think we might do. I was brought up from birth with dogs and cats and it's not done me any harm - just turned me into an animal lover. And if my child turns out to be an animal lover, I'll be happy! I think the previous poster was correct saying that the focus will change - we will all of course have to adapt and will give more time/attention to the baby. My view is that if you have trained your dog properly and developed it to be a well behaved dog, then you won't have a problem - the questions tend to be asked by people who have no experience of well trained dogs!
Very well said!
Thank you everyone for your comments.0 -
We had our dog for four years before we had our first. Eight years and two more kids later, we still have him.
kalyrra said something that's very important that I want to emphasize. She mentioned training the dog AND the kids. As important as it is to train the dog to behave properly around the baby, when the child gets older, it's just as important to train her how to behave around the dog. Kids learning to walk can fall on animals, they want to crawl over and investigate pooch while he's sleeping, they want to try out those tasty looking bits of kibble in the bowl. While the baby doesn't mean to hurt, annoy or frighten, if the dog gets stressed, no matter how nice he his, he might snap at the little one. Being vigilant and training everyone will ensure a happy, peaceful, safe home for all your babies.
Congratulations on your pregnancy and don't listen to the naysayers.0 -
I know exactly how you feel! We have a 3 1/2 year old black lab and absolutely love him to death! for the last 3 years he has been our baby! I know that once the baby comes that things will be different, but we have absolutely no intention of getting rid of him! He too is well behaved and great around kids. We are taking time to try to prepare him for the transition, such as having him sleep on his new dog pad instead of in the bed with us as he had been doing. I too understand that everyone is different and every family has different priorities and components, but I definitely get where you are coming from!0
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Sadly people think they need to insert their opinions when it's not needed. I would never get rid of my dog either he's very calm and I'm sure he'll be jealous but when he gets that way he goes and sulks in his cage for about a week then he's fine. I don't think we'll have a problem, and he'll always be my baby puppy even when the baby comes. Every one is different in the way the handle situations. Just make sure you don't ignore her completely
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We got a dog when our son was an infant and rehomed her after 2 years of increasing difficulty. It took about three or four months to find her an appropriate home, but everyone is much happier now.
However, I would never suggest that someone who already owns a dog is going to abandon the dog because of a child. I mean, most dog owners *don't* do that, and what's the point of these unsolicited opinions??0 -
You sound like my favourite kind of dog owner! The dog is a dog a pet and does not run the house hold! I work at a pet store and I educate people on proper pet nutrition (dog an cat). I see to many people who get rid of dogs after a year or so because they do not listen and they act like they did when they first got them. The owners wonder why they have not grown up and learned. My question to them is always when did you start training and are you training them with the expectation of the behaviour you want them to have. It's very frustrating to see so many dogs that are returned or rehoused due to bad owners (I am NOT saying that is the case every time just way more then it should be). But it sounds like you have everything under control and I would just ignore them.
However I do have a friend who had to find a new home for her little guy who was 5 because he bit her daughter 2x they got trainers and were strict with the dog but he just hated anyone other then my friend and her husband from day one as a puppy. He was always a calm dog and only loved his 2 owners no one else which does not work with a growing family it just stressed him out to much. So they found a friend who could take him and he is very happy in his new home with no kids and just the new owner and his elderly mom. She has since gotten a new dog that is in love with everyone and is 11 months old and is a perfect family dog. She has again done lots of training and is expecting number 2.
I have 2 cats and I am only worried about them cuddling the baby and smothering them. My cats are super friendly and very stealth (I believe they were trained by a master ninja cat) so I will just have to be careful to check for them when I put baby down to nap and make sure they did not sneak into the babies room and hide. Otherwise I think that they will hide on top of the fridge once baby can move around and chase them. Lol0 -
Yeah, I've had this "advise" passed onto myself as well. And similarly - I DO NOT agree with it. We've got 3 dogs, a border collie, a pit lab mix, and a chaweiner (Chihuaua weiner). The border collie is the best dog I've ever been around. He and my son (due in September) are most likely going to be best friends. The other two will take some getting used to an infant; but I personally think it's all in positive introduction, training, supervison and patience. Not a single one of them has ever shown any agression, or anything like that. Only thing I forsee is less time available to be in the yard picking up POOP. :sick:
Do you "turn in" one child just because you get pregnant again and have another? Our dogs are family members, that's how we treat them. They may get less attention then they are used to, especially in the beginning... But once our youngin' starts crawling and really playing - I think everyone is going to have the time of their lives together :happy:0
