Struggling with TTC emotions today...
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alaskagrown86
Posts: 8
So, my birthday was 2 days ago and I'm not getting younger (not saying that 28 is old...well it is getting up there in terms of trying to have baby #1 but, I digress.) As most of you likely know, it's prime baby season and people are popping out babies all around me right now (6 friends have had babies in the last month.) I want to ovulate, to get pregnant, to carry a baby to term. I want to suffer through labor to get the baby prize at the end. I'm jealous, I own that, 100%. It just sucks. Thanks for letting me vent that, I know many of you understand.
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The feels...:sad:
Have a cold one on me :drinker:
We've been trying just over six years (we've just turned 37). It doesn't get much easier seeing all my friends around me adding to their families every year, and every year it's just me and my husband.
The hardest part is having people say "I know it'll happen for you"
...like, yeah right? Are you some kind of wizard that can grant my wishes?0 -
We gave up at 37 and got involved with a fertility clinic. They said PCOS is absolutely the easiest form of infertility to treat, so if you ever decide to go that route, there's some encouragement. I agree with the "earning" a baby. I never wanted to actually have a baby (too scared) but now that I did it, I'm glad I did. Will never do it again!
But I'm glad we did it. You are still very young but trust yourself. If you're ready, you are ready! Let em know if you ever need info on the fert clinic process. And cuddle those babies!! Our bodies are amazing and when a baby cries, women respond physically, even if you haven't had one yet. It could be that little kick that your ovaries need. 0 -
Thanks ladies, I appreciate the support! Yesterday was hard, today is better. I just jumped back on the bandwagon of getting more healthy recently after falling off into the "I'll just ignore my PCOS" ditch for a bit. I need to work on dropping some weight and getting my hormones more under control (literally AND figuratively apparently lol) before we try the fertility clinic route (they'd tell me to drop some weight as a first step anyways lol.) Maybe someday we'll be successful in this TTC game, until then though, if anyone happens upon that wizard who grants wishes, send him my way after you're done with him!
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I completely understandwhere you are at I am turning 27 in 8days and have been TTC for 2 and a half years. In the middle of that my twin sister who has the same health issues but neglects to do anything about them up and got prego on her first try. Its been almost a year and I'm tired of the TTC game so I am taking a break to get my weight under control. I have decided that I have no control over the baby issue but I can control my weight and it would be nice to finally be rid of that burden.
Sorry if I sound a bit bitter with my sis, she is my closest friend and I love my nephew to pieces. He is my copeing mechanism, I steal him for the day and he treats me like his second mom.
But I totally understand the friend issue a few years ago it was everyone was getting married now I have 7 friends that are prego and 3 are due this month.
Its just been a tough few months I was just recently diagnosed with PCOS and that was a mini victory since we've been trying for a while to figure out what's amuck and the pieces finally fell into place.
Sorry to the novel! I just had to vent aswell. If you ever need someone to vent to hit me up. I know the emotional rollercoaster is stressful.0 -
My husband and I were TTC for a year when I finally thought we were pregnant. I had all the symptoms minus a positive on a at home pregnancy test. Turns out I had a 10 cm cyst. After having the cyst removed, it like jumped started my reproductive track to function properly (for probably the first time my entire life). My operation was in August. I was pregnant by the end of January.
This will probably be our only child. We've been watching another cyst grow on my remaining ovary the entire pregnancy. And it's been really hard on my body.
My sister also has PCOS and has been TTC/wanting to TTC for about 4 years. I know when I initially told her I was pregnant she resented me entirely. She's the oldest and 'should' be pregnant first. She has gotten better, but I know those feelings are still there. She doesn't do anything to control her PCOS and ignores it entirely.
Good luck on your journey!0 -
I wonder if its a denial issue. In that she's not fully accepting the scope of the implications that PCOS has...I know I didn't in the beginning. It didn't really hit home until I was trying to lose weight and it just wasn't working.
My husband tried a number of years ago for a baby....basically threw caution to the wind and it didn't happen. We're still not cautious (when we do do 'it')...and its not happened in five years.
From what I understand, most pcos'ers respond to fertility treatment. Usually its just medication to kick ovulation into action.
Good luck and keep up the good fight!0 -
My favorite thing ever is when my Fertile Myrtle friend who got pregnant with fraternal twins on the first try (and is likely to have twins again if they go for more kids) texts me to tell me about random patients who have PCOS and like a billion kids so I shouldn't worry. She means well, but it's really annoying.0
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this reminds me of my sister and i. I am the oldest and just turned 31 and have PCOS since i was 16. I have had weight loss surgery and i am currently losing weight (almost near what I weighed in 2003) and i am taking the necessary steps to make sure i am healthy and my sister who is over weight and doesn't take care of herself has had two kids within 18 months apart. it's frustrating.0
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I have 10 year old twins, but they were via IVF. Not only did I have PCOS in my corner, but my ex-husband had some issues as well. It took a total of 2.5 years, but only one round of IVF. I was told during all of it that had he not had issues, I probably would've been easily pregnant with just the aide of some ovulation drugs. So, when you're ready, it's worth talking to your doc about (if you're comfortable with it). Good luck!0
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I remember the feeling oh so well. I got married at 32 and we tried for 5 years. I had my first at 37 and my second at 39. I am truly blessed. I have PCOS and my husband has super low sperm counts. I had weight loss surgery as well and got from 400 to 267. I was on metformin. I did rounds of clomid/insemination too. I actually got pregnant on a cycle break from clomid as I was on Jury Duty and couldn't do the crazy cycle schedule and monitoring. We had our daughter and my cycles kind of straightened out. I was tracking my ovulation and timing intercourse, still on metformin...but with our double whammy I never expected to have another child. We got pregnant with my son when my daughter was about a year old.
I am not telling you this to try to make you feel bad, but to give you some hope. fertilityfriend.com was my lifesaver. I have made lifelong friends TTC there. I am not sure what you are doing to TTC, but there are a lot of things you can do before you go to the fertility doctor. Kudos to you for getting your pcos under control, but they will also like to see a year of trying and if you can track your cycles to show them it will be so helpful.
Don't give up hope. I know how hard it is to be around the pregnant friends, and the baby showers, and the newborns. Some people really take that for granted. When you get your bfp, it will be your little miracle, and having tried so hard just makes that child so much more special.
Chin up!! Keep us posted okay!!0 -
^^ Fertility Friend really is great. I tried tracking my temperature for awhile on there but my temps really weren't that helpful for me - they were kind of all over the place. But I did learn a lot about the other symptoms of ovulation and I was able to track those successfully. For me, cervical mucus was really the best most accurate sign and was easy for me to do.
The baby showers, etc. are the hardest thing. The best advice I can give you is that you are entitled to your feelings, whatever they are. I wasted a lot of energy telling myself that I "shouldn't" be sad or jealous.
Did you ever see the Simpsons where Marge keeps telling Lisa to "smile" and "be happy" and then she remembers people doing the same thing to her when she was little? She says "If you need to be sad, BE SAD". I've always remembered that. You can't help your feelings so don't fight them. Most people who know that you are TTC will be sensitive about it and understand if some things are difficult for you.0
