For me it is much the same. I am quite a large man, but I think of myself as not being much bigger than my friends. A part of it is I participate in whatever they are doing. I don't let my weight hold me back, but every once in a while I get that ugly reminder of my true size. Sometimes it is a photo, or it could even be lending my suit coat to someone and having it look like a child raiding their father's closet. I think I have accepted the reality of my condition and have been working on losing the weight, but at times I do forget my true size.

I did one of those things where they ask you measurements, then ask you to pick out a silhouette, and it tells you if you are larger or smaller than you think...nearly everyone got smaller, I got larger. Meh. But, as long as I'm looking straight on in the mirror, I like what I see. It is when I turn sideways or backwards (angles to see), that I get thrown for a loop. But, that does leave me with hope that I will eventually like all of the mirror's image!

Wow 208 lb lost is pretty amazing. That must feel much better. I agree being able to move about, be more healthy and do the things we want to are the most important reasons to shed the excess lb's.

I have mixed feelings on this. On the one hand, I don't *feel* bigger than my friends but I always assume I'm the largest person in any room. The two different perceptions that live in my head are hard to reconcile.

We were at a cookout recently and there was a large woman there. She was pretty big, but honestly, not as big as I fear I am. She moved without any struggle and was sitting in an average sized chair, which was maybe a tiny small for her, but not the way I think I look in a small chair. I asked my husband afterwards if I was larger or smaller than her. He looked at me with a confused look and said "She's bigger than you EVER were."

Huh. That was not what I expected to hear. I couldn't decide if I should completely discount his words because he IS my husband is supposed to be kind to be by law, lol, but maybe there's truth there. I don't know....

I've always looked bigger in pictures than I think I am. Part of it is that I have no neck or chin. Even when I was young, before I ever thought I had a weight problem, I had a double chin. I also have a pretty evenly distributed hour glass figure. So, there's no angle that ever makes me look thin. I don't have skinny legs or ankles, no shoulder definition, and while my waist is narrowed, I don't really wear clothes that accentuate that, as it only draws attention to my wide hips and butt and large chest. I guess I need to find some old pictures and do a side by side comparison.

I sometimes am surprised in the mirror to see that large woman over there and realize she's me, if that makes any sense. How am I that big???? And, how am I 60 pounds smaller than I was last year? I feel how big my body is in relationship to everything around me, how chairs are snug, seat belts only have so much room left before the end, how much smaller everyone around me is, but then I'm surprised by how big my reflection is???? I honestly don't understand it

I've always felt larger than I am. Even at a lower weight this was an issue for me. A lot of it has to do with the fact that not only am I very large, but I'm relatively tall as well. As an example: I'm 311 pounds, 5'9.5", and I wear a size 20/22 jeans or a size 2xl top. I have an awful habit of shopping for clothes in a rush. Sometimes I'll pick a few pieces and not try them on. Because sizes vary so much in different shops (skewed sizes, their own sizes, etc.) I get the ones that look like they're my size instead going by the numbers. As it turns out I consistently buy pieces about three or four sizes bigger. It's not my intention, it's just how I see myself. I'm really hoping that as I get smaller, and learn to be more comfortable with myself that will resolve.

Welcome, 40andFindingFitness... You'll see that we start a daily thread most days to keep active here! Nice to see you and look forward to getting to know you.... I am often bamboozled at why we are a certain way... I know I keep reading about distancing myself from the concept of not being something, but having something... I'm going to try to focus on that...

I often, too, feel pretty rockin' sometimes, then I see myself in a mirror or picture and think, "What the heck??"

Again, welcome!

Carly in OK

Yep. This is a HUGE problem for me. I have it in my head that I look one way and even take "selfies" where they come out looking the way I look in my head "good" but whenever someone takes a picture of me or video, I am devastated, ABSOLUTELY devastated for a while over what I see because this is NOT what I see when I look in the mirror. So, I totally get it when you are stuck looking into a mirror that you aren't used to looking into. Like at a hairdressers for instance or your doctor's office. I hate that.

This past weekend we were at a wine festival and I dressed up retro style and I really wanted to get a picture of me stomping grapes but that meant I hate to relent to having someone else take the picture. Argh. Later on I saw the picture and started crying at the lunch table. I felt so stupid, but it hit me, even at almost 130lbs lost, I am still ****ing huge and disgusting. I am not this smaller girl I thought I was seeing looking all cute in this dress. I looked like a stuffed pig still. Total reverse body dismorphia going on.

Edit to add, here is my retro look from the festival.

Absolutely. I think of myself as this confident, sexy thing, and flaunt it for my husband who also thinks I'm this gorgeous woman. But then when I see a mirror or I see a picture of me, I feel absolutely crushed. And seeing pictures of me next to my husband, who is pretty damn handsome and athletic looking just makes me feel horrible because I'm not living up to the potential and I never realize it until a picture or mirror. Constantly having to "realize" that is horrible. I don't understand it.

Confidence is a huge part of it. My guy makes me feel sexy on a regular basis... I just don't look in mirrors extensively. I know how I **FEEL** and to me that is more important. Eventually that damned mirror image will catch up with the me in my head.

And Heather, you look amazingly cute and gorgeous in your retro look. I'm sure if I'd seen the picture you deemed horrible, I would have seen you for you - not the way you saw it. (HUGS)