Not sure if I'm trans or genderqueer.
wuggums47
Posts: 25 Member
Hi, I was designated male at birth, but I'm very uncomfortable with that. I know I definitely would prefer a female body, but at the same time I'm a bit butch, and occasionally enjoy dressing in male clothes. I'm not entirely sure if I'm trans or genderqueer. I would like people who are a bit in between like me to tell me how they figured out who they where. I've kind of been flip-flopping back and forth.
0
Replies
-
I was born a girl and have absolutely no idea what I am either, I guess. Some days I feel super feminine and some days I wish I was a boy and some days I don't really feel like either... I'll figure it out eventually? I hope.0
-
Labels like gay, straight, bi, trans, genderqueer are tools that help us, sometimes, discover and describe who we are. The important thing behind what they do is the need we all have to live our own truth. You do not have to be queer, trans, genderqueer, or anything at all until and if such a designation helps you live that truth. I identify as male (definitely) and gay (definitely). While I grew up in a time and place that made such identity very difficult (the South in the 50s and 60s) finally having the word "gay" was incredibly helpful to me. But the word I use for me can also do damage to others if I let it. It's very easy for gay men to suddenly categorize all men as either gay or straight, which is a disservice to bi men and actually can do damage to them. On the other hand, there are communities of people out there, on and offline, who use a particular identity to meet and bond and celebrate and that is a great thing.
You will figure all this out. In truth, your final idea of yourself won't precisely fit any category. I, for instance, am a gay, monogamous Christian, which definitely makes me an odd duck in much of the gay community. But I absolutely adore getting together with gay friends and being witty, extravagant gay men. Just like I don't try to define my fri"ends, though, I have to be careful about defining what the "gay" community is. Every time I read an article about gay people, or millenials, or whomever, I find that I am reading something by someone who doesn't seem to know many individuals. Ultimately we can't define ourselves by groups we belong to, and I don't. Even though I am really out and really proud and really happy that I am gay.
We live in an amazing time when we are learning to define ourselves as, or identify ourselves with, individuals who have various qualities on a spectrum and not in binary categories. I find many of my older friends (meaning my age!) are uncomfortable with it, which is only evidence that it is good that we don't run the world.
I wish you all the best on your journey--and I hope you have a great deal of fun getting to the next oasis!0 -
Thanks, I think I've got it figured out, I'm a woman, but not a girly girl, I'm more somewhere between tomboy and soft butch.0
-
@Harrynich- I love the way you think. Language is so potent and important, yet unimportant at the same time.0
-
I frequently bring this up with my FTM husband. I am femme on the outside, but a closet tomboy. I was raised in a way that ingrained a sort of ladylikeness about me, even encouraged to go into a highly feminine field of work, so I constantly feel like I am acting all day, not to mention I dread putting on makeup for work. I'm just not this day to day person if you know me. If I didn't marry someone who actually nurtures my inner butch, I'd probably be a wreck.0
