Conversation with Best friend
carimiller7391
Posts: 1,091 Member
My BFF and I gained a lot of weight over the years. I had lap band surgery in 2009.... didn't lose a #. I had VSG in 2012, lost about 65 #s, gained 10 back and so I started here. Well this morning I emailed my BFF as this weight has gotten to me. Horrible self-confidence, horrible self-esteem... just feeling down about life in general. Since I am bipolar, non of these help me any way.
She gave me this advice, so I thought I'd share it here.
1. Don't go with timed weight loss goals, if you happen to not make the date, it makes you feel worse.
2. Keep a gym bag in your car at all times.
3. Don't dangle rewards..... which is new to me, I loved the reward idea for every 10# lost I had planned on doing something nice for me.
4. Try to out do yourself. If you walked 1 mile today, try 1.1 tomorrow and so on. building up on what you have already accomplished and never being happy with where you are (exercise wise) as you can always tweek something.
5. Get in touch with yourself. Don't go for a specific number..... go with what you feel good about. Stop losing weight when you are again comfortable in your skin and like the way you are.
I truly thought that at 5'5" I'd be good at 135#s. From today forward, I am not concentrating on pounds lost although that is just as important, but I am concentrating on how I feel. I know right now, I feel horrible. I feel like a ball of fat. But I am eating better and will be working out soon so I'm getting healthier one meal at a time.
Hugs,
Cari
She gave me this advice, so I thought I'd share it here.
1. Don't go with timed weight loss goals, if you happen to not make the date, it makes you feel worse.
2. Keep a gym bag in your car at all times.
3. Don't dangle rewards..... which is new to me, I loved the reward idea for every 10# lost I had planned on doing something nice for me.
4. Try to out do yourself. If you walked 1 mile today, try 1.1 tomorrow and so on. building up on what you have already accomplished and never being happy with where you are (exercise wise) as you can always tweek something.
5. Get in touch with yourself. Don't go for a specific number..... go with what you feel good about. Stop losing weight when you are again comfortable in your skin and like the way you are.
I truly thought that at 5'5" I'd be good at 135#s. From today forward, I am not concentrating on pounds lost although that is just as important, but I am concentrating on how I feel. I know right now, I feel horrible. I feel like a ball of fat. But I am eating better and will be working out soon so I'm getting healthier one meal at a time.
Hugs,
Cari
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I don't have horrible self confidence or esteem...I have none. I don't know if it is a bi-product of my weight or the cause of my weight. Maybe a little of both.
Thanks for sharing those tips. I am a slave to my scale. I know it doesn't really matter what the number says but I still find myself checking it. I have been avoiding timed goals since I saw how upset my husband was when he was 2 lbs over his goal on his end date. He couldn't focus that he had lost the 38 lbs but fixated on the 2 lbs he didn't lose. He almost gave up at that point.0 -
1. Don't go with timed weight loss goals, if you happen to not make the date, it makes you feel worse.
2. Keep a gym bag in your car at all times.
3. Don't dangle rewards..... which is new to me, I loved the reward idea for every 10# lost I had planned on doing something nice for me.
4. Try to out do yourself. If you walked 1 mile today, try 1.1 tomorrow and so on. building up on what you have already accomplished and never being happy with where you are (exercise wise) as you can always tweek something.
5. Get in touch with yourself. Don't go for a specific number..... go with what you feel good about. Stop losing weight when you are again comfortable in your skin and like the way you are.
I totally agree with # 1. I have intentionally tried not to set date goals. Where I have gotten in trouble is when I'm close to a big goal and think "I'll be there in 3 weeks". Then I get disappointed when I'm not. I really believe in focusing on building the healthy habits that will lead to weight loss.
#4 is another great one. I did a challenge back in Feb to see how far you could walk/run/cycle in a month. I surprised myself. I've kept it up and added swimming to the list. It was wonderful to see my total mileage increase from month to month. It has gone down lately because I haven't been exercising as often, but I can still see my distance in an allotted time increase. It is a wonderful motivator.
#5 I also agree with. I picked a number from the BMI chart for my goal. At this point I don't know if I want to go that low or if I want to keep going beyond that. I do know that I want to make a conscious choice that I am happy were I am and that I will go into maintenance. I don't want to slide into maintenance because I hit a plateau or lose focus.0 -
Can I just say that I'm incredibly jealous that you have a friend IRL that you can talk to about these things? I tried talking to my best friend about it (she is six foot and a size 4) and it was the most frustrating, eye-roll inducing conversation I've ever had with a person. I love her to death, but I realized we are just on two different wave lengths when it comes to this.0
