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Mental block
esbal
Posts: 13
Hello,
I'm truly a newbie when it comes to weightlifting but I want to try it before accepting to live a life with my unproportionate body. I'm also hoping to find a way to lift this mental block I have toward weightlifting. I'm 35 and had/have body image issues since when I was a teenager. I'm not overweight by health standards but I'm extremely unhappy with the way I look. I wear a size 28/30 bra but my bottom is size 42 in European sizes. I'm so flabby around my waist and below, I don't think it's healthy. I stumbled upon Stronglifts recently, joined my workplace's gym which has a decent size of strength training area but can't seem to bring myself to go there and work out with weights. My husband says I have the legs of a football player, (he's saying this playfully btw). Any words of advice to lift the mental block? Do you think as a heavy-bottomed woman I can lean out a bit in my legs or will they grow larger with lifting?
I'm truly a newbie when it comes to weightlifting but I want to try it before accepting to live a life with my unproportionate body. I'm also hoping to find a way to lift this mental block I have toward weightlifting. I'm 35 and had/have body image issues since when I was a teenager. I'm not overweight by health standards but I'm extremely unhappy with the way I look. I wear a size 28/30 bra but my bottom is size 42 in European sizes. I'm so flabby around my waist and below, I don't think it's healthy. I stumbled upon Stronglifts recently, joined my workplace's gym which has a decent size of strength training area but can't seem to bring myself to go there and work out with weights. My husband says I have the legs of a football player, (he's saying this playfully btw). Any words of advice to lift the mental block? Do you think as a heavy-bottomed woman I can lean out a bit in my legs or will they grow larger with lifting?
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Replies
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How much do you weigh? Do you know your thigh measurement?
I am a similar age to you, and have a pear shaped body. Since April I have slimmed down from a 42 to 36, lost 2 and a half stone and have lost nearly 3 inches from my thigh. I guess I'm telling you this so you know that it can be done.0 -
I am more pear shaped now as well. Could see ribs a few months ago and didnt like that so i started lifting. I love how my legs are starting to look now. There is still fat on them but there is muscle poking out on the thighs by my knees. More than likely you will lean out when you lose the fat covering the muscles. It is very hard for women to build muscle. Give it a try and see what it can do for you!0
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My measurements are (deep breath)
hips 106-107cm
waist 70-71cm
ribs 76cm
weight 67-68kg
My thighs/widest part of my legs are almost as wide as my waist, individually *gasp* My dominant right leg is about 4cm larger than my left.
You can actually see the muscle right above my knees and that's exactly why my husband calls me a football player
It's very hard to find dresses that fit both my upper body and heavy bottom. They either are too tight around my hips or look like a sack. Pants as well. . 0 -
I also have loose skin around my belly thanks to carrying several larger than average babies to beyond full term. They were all around 4-4.5kg. And of course ball-in-a-sock-type breasts, again thanks to pregnancy/breastfeeding. Oh well, I don't care about that loose skin anymore. My kids are my life.0
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How much do you weigh? Do you know your thigh measurement?
I am a similar age to you, and have a pear shaped body. Since April I have slimmed down from a 42 to 36, lost 2 and a half stone and have lost nearly 3 inches from my thigh. I guess I'm telling you this so you know that it can be done.
Thank you for the encouragement! I'm determined to try this out.0 -
How tall are you?
(I'm biting my lip about your husband's disparaging remarks).0 -
Whatever shape you are is what you are - can't change that. Lifting will just make you look even better!
I'm the opposite shape; top heavy, or as I like to call it P shaped (lots of boobs/upper arm/upper back fat and narrower hips/butt). Lifting has definitely brought out the muscle definition in my whole body, but seeing the definition in my chest and upper arms makes me feel fantastic. Get the super hero mentality in your head and you'll do great.
If you can lift a baby, you can lift a barbell!
Well... I'm not so sure on that statement... I don't have kids and have never held a baby so...
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@logg1e I wouldn't get offended if you say it's insensitive at best. I agree. I told him that even though I wasn't offended since I know him (plus I don't easily get offended) and he was just joking and he keeps saying that he finds my larger bottom sexy, it wasn't an appropriate thing to say. I can see why he said that because I really have those bumpy muscly legs but he learned that it's not something you say to your wife.
I just measured my my legs that they are 64 and 67cm few cms below my butt. My hips are actually 110 around the largest part of my butt as well. They are 106.5cm, a few cms above. I'm 166cm tall.0 -
Whatever shape you are is what you are - can't change that. Lifting will just make you look even better! I'm the opposite shape; top heavy, or as I like to call it P shaped (lots of boobs/upper arm/upper back fat and narrower hips/butt). Lifting has definitely brought out the muscle definition in my whole body, but seeing the definition in my chest and upper arms makes me feel fantastic. Get the super hero mentality in your head and you'll do great.
If you can lift a baby, you can lift a barbell!
Well... I'm not so sure on that statement... I don't have kids and have never held a baby so...
I'm not hoping to change my overall shape but I don't want ti add anymore width to my below either, kwim? I googled transformation photos by weightlifting and all I see is the opposite of my body shape, broader shoulders, leaner bottom etc to begin with.0 -
when I say I'm new to weightlifting, I mean I've never did it as regular exercise. When I went to sign up for the gym, I tried doing squats with a barbell while a friend (who actually suggested that I try stronglifts) spotted. It wasn't very easy but I could do 10 reps with 50kg. Not much but I guess I'm not that weak which gave me some encouragement.0
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Since I started lifting weights, started with dumb bells a year ago, I have lost several inches off my hips and thighs. I still have shape, wide hips and a curvy butt, but my overall body is smaller. The loss of body fat will make it seem like your body is "getting larger", but really you will be shrinking. I'm no where near close to my goal, but I'm happy with where I've come so far.
Try it. Give it 6 months. If you really have bad results, you can quit, because I guarantee you won't see what you think you will see.0 -
I have very big legs. I had very big legs before lifting and I won't lie, they aren't much smaller now. But they're tighter, more awesome looking, and, holy crap, help me haul around amazing amounts of weight. Lifting has helped me appreciate the very real upsides of my particular shape.0
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it's disgraceful ;-) i'm in canada, yet i gave up on doing the inch/cm conversions just a couple tries in.
i've got a similar muscular structure to yours, by the sounds of it. short tendons, so that the muscles start up pretty much immediately after the joint. i actually really like that look ;-) and i'm liking it more and more as the muscles are starting to show through the fat. i lost 20 pounds in the last year and i'm probably at or close to ideal now at 5'4" and ~128lb. but any fat i have left is ALL concentrated between my waist and my knees. truly. i have obese inner knees ;-) and these two little blobs of fat still sitting at the tops of my hips.
what i'm noticing after about 6 months of lifting (with lots of faffing around, getting hurt, restarting, etc) and maybe 8 pounds to go, is:
- much 'cleaner' line to my legs. i've definitely got muscles, all over the place. but they're so dense and so lean that imo it looks great. kind of like teenage mutant ninja turtle type legs. it's definitely not 'bulk' even though i do seem to hve those short tendons, which basically translates to a greater muscle length to 'fill up'.
- upper thighs have really benefited from the whole thing. i just admitted to myself recently that i've lost an inch there since i shifted my squat form, without any changes to mid-thigh or my knees. i'm losing that look i've always wanted to lose: the triangular/funnel-shaped thigh thing.
- much narrower look to my hips. it's not just that i'm thinner through there. it's kind of hard to explain, but it's like my hips area has gotten more compact as ell. definitely a matter of better proportions (to me).
- just a generally more pleasing kind of look to myself, all over. again, hard to explain. but it's like i have this light covering of muscle *all over* me now, which is sort of even and continuous. i don't have Bony Bits and Fat Bits, the way i think i remember from being at 120 pounds but without very much muscle. the whole process hasn't changed my dimensions all that much atm, but it's really looking like it fills in gaps and smooths out the blobby spots.
also, i'll just say: you definitely are not going to bulk up by accident. definitely not. if you're going to gain more muscle than you want and change to a shape you don't like, believe me . . . you'll see it coming. there'll be all kinds of time to change your mind and back off again, if you don't like the results. or shift to a different set/rep protocol.0 -
I can't speak personally about being pear shaped. All I can say is that lifting has helped me appreciate what my body can do. Which was such a 180 for me. It really has helped me cope better with my body insecurities and gives me something other than scale weight and body size to gage progress against.0
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esbal, I was wondering, given your height etc whether a cut would help your lower half slim out. I agree with others that (like me) your upper half will always be more slender than your bottom) but I have found my recent cut has made me less "out of proportion".
(I find your husband's sense of entitlement to pass judgement on your body purely in terms of ^what he finds attractive^ rather breath-taking! It sounds as though you've put him right on this though ). 0 -
I can't speak personally about being pear shaped. All I can say is that lifting has helped me appreciate what my body can do. Which was such a 180 for me. It really has helped me cope better with my body insecurities and gives me something other than scale weight and body size to gage progress against.
^^^this. I had gotten to this point myself at the end of August and had DH hide the scale. I was more empowered by lifting the actual weight than being obsessed with the scale. I suspect that most women who fall in love with lifting come to this realization at some point.
It is way too early in the morning for me to convert cm to in, but I am also very bottom heavy. 34A bra size and size 16 on bottom. My pants have become much looser since I started on 7/23, but I've also had to start wearing bras on the tightest clip. You can't spot reduce, but you can get stronger and fitter and your body will change. Will you or I ever have sleek legs-no. But we can get the fat off and let the awesome muscle shine.0 -
Thank you for the encouragement! I can't express this enough on the Internet, without actual facial expressions but I REALLY really appreciate it.
Sorry about the metric measurements. You gotta admit though, the metric system makes more sense I'll convert them roughly
hips 42-43”
Ribs 30”
Thighs 26-27”
Waist 27-28”
Height 5’ 5” and some change
Weight 149lbs
Now with that encouragement, I'll start the program next week. But my work schedule allows me only enough time to go to gym twice a week at most. I have to find a way to continue the program at home one more day.0 -
esbal, I was wondering, given your height etc whether a cut would help your lower half slim out. I agree with others that (like me) your upper half will always be more slender than your bottom) but I have found my recent cut has made me less "out of proportion".
(I find your husband's sense of entitlement to pass judgement on your body purely in terms of ^what he finds attractive^ rather breath-taking! It sounds as though you've put him right on this though ).
What do you recommend in terms of the cut? I was dieting with 1300 calories daily and lost around 9kg/20lbs but I said forget it because 1300 calories don't provide me with enough energy to fulfill my life comfortably. My mental capacity plummets, I'm always sluggish and tired. Not to mention cranky. I started eating around 2000, I gained about 2kg/5lbs and the gain stopped. I have a desk job. If I go above 2000, I gain easily. But I can't stay hungry at work because I have to be able to think and be mentally productive, kwim? I drink a lot of coffee/tea (no sugar, cream etc) mostly because I love it but it helps with the hunger. I'm an hungry person by nature LOL. I still can't believe how I endured 1300 calories for months. For about 3 months now, I don't get any real physical activity beyond walking around the campus during lunch etc. Before that i was running two, three times a week but injured my knee, stopped and never picked up again.
We're married for 12 years now. He, I guess, gets too comfortable sometimes and forgets that I'm his wife not his ”buddy”. It's fine though, we both learned to work around that. He realizes his mistake, apologizes, we move on. No hard feelings.0 -
What do I recommend in terms of a cut? Somewhere between 1300 and 2000
If you've just cut recently, and are fed up with living on a deficit, then go for a bulk - focus on the weight-lifting. Twice a week is fine, although I secretly think you'll give it a couple of weeks and find a third visit a week!
We're in a fairly similar position, although I'm still tinkering to find my maintenance calories.0 -
Haha, I would die on 1300 if I add lifting as well. LOL. For the past 5 months or so, I'm eating around 2000. I only eyeball though and don't measure things like celery sticks and cucumbers for example. I think I'll try starting with 2000. I really wish that more than 2 times a week of gym would be doable but after accounting for the traffic, I'm really short on time. I learned I also need to watch my macros (a term I wasn't aware of a month ago), but the amount of protein intake seems too much. It says more than 100grams of protein daily. I'm not sure if I can meet that amount daily. Maybe it's time to invest in some protein shakes if I truly need to get that much protein daily.0
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I think lifting heavy weights is addictive!
I have tried a couple of ways of supplementing the protein in my diet. I tried protein bars, and hated every brand I tried. I've had more success with adding a scoop of whey powder to my breakfast milkshake. And in general, my diet has a lot more protein in it nowadays.0
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