Pixy and LeAnna, thank you for the great words of encouragement! This is a very tough journey and it's nice to know that you ladies understand what I'm going through. I am going to take your advice and try to conquer one goal at a time till I get back on track! Thanks again for taking the time to answer my call for help :drinker:

So this weekend my husband and I went shopping most of the day and we walked up a large flight of stairs to a shop and my thighs have been hurting ever since! I used to walk up 20-30 floors or more everyday! With no problems... Also we picked up a 13lb turkey for Thanksgiving and I thought is was heavier than 13lbs... So to some it all up I am failing miserably at losing weight and staying fit! But on the upside, this has made me realize that it is time to quit slacking and get back to the gym. So I will be getting back into the swing of things this week! I can do this

Thanks Dan! I will do this What island will you be visiting?

Oh and I forgot not being able to weigh myself because I don't have access to my scale in the morning when I wake up. I could weigh myself later on in the day but its just seems more accurate first thing in the morning.

Okay, I am very frustrated and a bit angry with myself. I know that depression was a chemical thing beyond my control, but still seeing the damage that occurred in just a month. On May 20th, 2014 I put in my wellness goal as to lose 70 lbs over the next year, averaging around 6 lbs a month. Okay, so I went along and have been entering things into a spreadsheet. When the depression hit I didn't log on the spreadsheet as much. I got it up to date now and was blown away by what happened in October. Here is the ugly truth.
The yellow highlighted area is the amount left to go to reach that goal of 70 lbs.



Basically, in four weeks several month's worth of work disappeared and most of it within just a ten day period. I can't believe this happened like this. I'm not certain physiologically what had to have happened there for that to occur as it did within such a short period of time as I was definitely not eating almost an additional 9,000 calories a day.

I don't know if I am going to hit my goal by May 20th (ish), 2015 now. I have six months to drop basically 50 lbs.

My takeaway is that I need to be more mindful of my moods and put in more safeguards to keeping healthy during that time frame when my moods get wonky or alternatives I can eat if something I cut into (like pancakes) starts to appear to be bleeding due to hallucinations, etc. One thing I have settled on doing is sticking with my grocery list and nothing else. I am basically out of food meaning all I would have in the apartment would be my groceries AND sticking to not going out to the store to get something extra. Just what I have on hand, nothing else. I also need to get back into a regular exercise routine.

I went overboard with eating yesterday, but I logged it and did not close off my diary like I considered doing. I agree on not shopping hungry. You're right about it being a journey, and as my therapist says, "It happens to almost everyone eventually." I guess that is one bit of proof that I am human - I fail, frequently, but have the capacity to learn, improve, and eventually walk down a different street.

Sorry I haven't really been around. You can do this. You are worth the struggle. I think if they put the search part for groups again we would have more people.

Agreed - the boards have grown quiet, but there are a few of us still around Keep on keepin' on, and we'll get there!