Two weeks gastric sleeve post op and I truly need support

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I had my sleeve done on September 13, and have lost a total of 25 pounds ( 10 pounds pre-op). It's only been two weeks in and I'm already off track. I did well the first week with the diet. But the past four days I have been eating what I cook for my family. I am not hungry but I miss eating food. I can not eat much of it when I do eat but I know this is a huge problem. I weighed myself today and discovered that I instead of me losing pounds I had gained 3 pounds. I came online looking for answers and came upon this group. I really and truly don't want this surgery to become a failure.

Replies

  • jrnguyen
    jrnguyen Posts: 92 Member
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    My concern is more for your health at this point since you are eating solids at only 2 weeks post op. We are put on a strict, gradual diet for a reason.

    Are you meeting your protein and fluid goals? You said you aren't hungry, but if you still desire to eat, you may need to up your protein.

    I would also suggest you not cook for your family right now if you have any other options. My husband is doing all the cooking right now and I don't even go in the kitchen. I eat separately and go to my room when my family is eating. Yeah it stinks right now, but I know in the long run, a few weeks is nothing compared to the time I'll be able to spend with them later.

    Good luck
  • shanell5566
    shanell5566 Posts: 4 Member
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    I do agree with you and know I need to stick to the diet. Unfortunately, my husband would have the kids eating fast food every meal. It's a new week tomorrow and I am determine to stick to the diet plan. I don't want to give up before I even started.
  • Mangopickle
    Mangopickle Posts: 1,509 Member
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    When it comes to obesity it is not about what you are eating....it is about why you are eating. As obese people if we are bored, sad, happy, mad,broke, hired, fired, grieving, celebrating, etc.....we eat. It is our default activity. We medicate with food just like any addict. Did you receive any counseling about this prior to surgery? The sleeve does nothing to cure food addiction. You immediately found that you could completely graze around it. You have to choose to change your relationship with food. It is not entertainment, a reward, a companion, a rescuer, solace or your friend. It is food....nothing more. You will have to learn to be bored, sad, mad, happy, broke or grieving without running to food pleasure to distract you from dealing with your feelings. Just be. Be bored, pissed off, broke, mad, etc. an amazing thing wil happen if you do....The feelings will pass! You felt it, you dealt with it and you move on. The more you do this and stick to your dietary lifestyle the more your food obsession will fade. That said you should also studiously drop any trigger foods. Mine were wheat products, pasta and potatoes...I don't eat them any more. I have cried for a week now due to a death in the family- I did not depart from my dietary lifestyle. Crying and grieving is helping me- drowning myself in the mountains of food that were delivered to us would not. All food that was not healthy-cakes, cookies, bread and chips were simply redirected to other people. We literally gave lbs of baked goods to any service person who came to the house along with sweet tea and sugar soda.
    Are you being nice to yourself? Do you love yourself deeply 100%. You will need to achieve this in order to have the strength to take care of yourself the way you need to. In 34 years I never was successful at wt loss until I loved me completely as an obese woman. Prayer really helped me. Then that switch inside me flipped and food lost most of its appeal and my primary focus became caring for me. Hope this helps, God bless
  • thinnerrugger
    thinnerrugger Posts: 25 Member
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    Your stomach is still healing. It takes 6-8 weeks. All restrictions were lifted for me at week 9 (September 18). You could be stretching your healing stomach and it might heal larger than it should, requiring you to consume more food before you feel full.

    I am experiencing head hunger where I'm not hungry but I'm used to eating, say at night, for example. I want to get out of that habit and now is the time to do it.

    This is the downward spiral joy ride of rapid weight loss. You must know that this period ends at some point; anywhere from 6 months - 2 years; quite a range, I know.

    My goal is to comply to the strictest letter of the law and milk this honeymoon period, because, as you must know, this period ends at some point; and it terrifies me.

    I have been told I can increase my protein portions but I continue to eat 1-2 ounces 3 times a day. I limit my carbs to 30 grams a day and protein at 70 grams a day. I am only 10 weeks post op. i've lost 33 pounds (46 including pre-op). My practice requires 5 weeks of all liquids - 2 weeks pre-op and 3 weeks post-op then introducing small amounts of soft mushy foods. he is incredibly protective of the pressure and strain on the stomach during the healing process.

    Respect your stomach and somehow figure out how to either cook for your family once a week and freeze (like on a Sunday) or do something about the husband. I talked with my husband before surgery and asked him how he felt about my not being in the kitchen much during the initial few weeks. He was on board with a plan that would help me.

    If you are asking opinions, I find it critical that you follow your doctor's orders and give your stomach time to heal at the right size or the surgery was for not and although I don't know you, I do know that those who get this procedure are those who really don't want that.

    Respect your stomach. Respect yourself. You deserve it.
  • juliebccs
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    Everybody's pre and post instructions are different and the these variations in instructions don't seem to make some people more successful than others. Go back and read what your team suggested for you. That is the best solution to this issue for you right now.
    I was allowed to eat soft foods such as scrambled eggs by about 12 weeks. Moving on to whatever I wanted (texture wise) by about 4 weeks. Your stomach is still healing and you need to respect that. At two weeks are you experiencing any pain upon eating or drinking? I was still experiencing pain at this stage so I was reminded every time I ate of what I had gone through. I think that helped.
    However, the first few months were the hardest psychologically. I did not attend any counselling pre surgery as it was not a requirement for me. However I am a psychotherapist and had an educated idea of what I needed to face up to.
    I look at the sleeve a bit like having a first baby. You can read and read and ask for advice and seek answers but you will never know what is like until it happens. The information you received just helps a little along the way. Same with this. You can male a choice. You will have to make choices for ever.
    I noticed you have a reasonably low weight loss target on your tracker. Everybody is different of course but I am curious if this is a target set by yourself or your surgical team?
    What are your goals? Have you set mini goals? And set mini rewards (no foods) for yourself?
    I know that the first but of weight coming off felt good but it wasn't until the clothes really started to shrink that I could feel the rewards coming thick and fast.
    Now as for cooking for your family. Ok this is what I do now. I make sure that I am serving meat and veg most of the time. I can have the meat and the veg, I just avoid the potatoes. If I am serving a rice dish such as Thai chicken curry. I make sure all of the ingredients comply to what I can have anyway. Of course no rice for me. But that's okay. I drain any curries to have basically no liquids left (where all the extra calories are). You can eat with your family eventually. But right now for you at only 2 weeks, focus on your foods not theirs. Once you start to eat the same foods just make changes to theirs so that you can. Everybody benefits then from the healthy foods.
    Can I ask what calorie limit your giving yourself right now and are you managing to stay within it? Tbh the first two weeks was just about getting nutrition in for me and
  • juliebccs
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    meeting nutritional needs was my focus,,I rarely did back then but that was my focus.
    I wish you the best of luck and remind you that you are being very pro active in asking for help.
    That means you want to do it right, which is the biggest challenge for everyone. I think you'll be ok. :-)
  • DrJackson6
    DrJackson6 Posts: 156 Member
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    You have to set a schedule and stick to it. I was sleeved on 9/2/14 and understand but a schedule has helped me tramendously.

    Here is my schedule:

    7:00am Protein shake
    9:30am Snack (cottage cheese with canned fruit)
    11:00am walk
    12:00pm Lunch (something high protein)
    2:00pm snack (yogurt)
    5:00 Dinner (something high protein)
    8:00 Protein Shake

    I average around 600 calories a day. You have to set a schedule. I cook dinner for my family and will not have a bite. Keep your eyes on the prize!
  • becskimo
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    Hello friend.

    It sucks doesn't it! I am nearly a week out and do you know what I am already mourning for.... (this one is a killer for me).... feeding my family and husband. I am not a 1950's house wife person by any means BUT I express my love and care through cooking beautiful meals for my family and I am having to step away for a while.

    Sometimes I cook for them, but I am having to make sure I have a protein shake before I cook. Fill that sleeve, which is hard when you are on fluids!!! It all seems to pass through so quickly.

    In my plan according to my nutritionist I am allowed to have thin custard (which I don't really get in terms of healthy) and thin/drinking yoghurt right now. Broth, homemade is so much more satisfying here. More protein shakes and low joule (low cal) drinks. and water, water, WATER!!

    But I am fighting a battle with losing a part of my identity. However while I am writing this I am really realising that I have a huge opportunity to not only make myself the healthy person I want to be BUT I have an opportunity to save my kids from following me down a path that is littered with take away food packets and an escalator... because seriously I didn't like walking while I was eating :S....

    Seriously though: don't beat yourself up!!!! This is a discovery and journey, not a personal failure party! Learn what you need to do and do it! Try filling your sleeve with your allowed foods/liquids before any food prep. Either try and take some time away from cooking., ask a friend or family member to prepare some reheat meals for your family so you don't dip your fingers in while cooking (oh wait... that's me) or take the opportunity to prepare healthy, beautiful meals that will change your families lives, when you feel strong enough.

    ****, if we all had incredible will power would we be here?

    Feel you! Take care and love yourself!
  • katematt313
    katematt313 Posts: 624 Member
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    Okay, I get where you are coming from. I struggle too, sometimes. You have my deepest empathy.

    That being said, your bad decisions could physically hurt you at this stage. You just can't eat solids now without serious risk of harming yourself and winding up back in the hospital. Your pouch is not healed.

    Here are my thoughts. I apologize in advance if my last two suggestions (or any others) seem cruel:

    1. Call your surgeon's office right away and tell them what you're doing. They will scare you straight and possibly refer you to see someone who can give you additional help. Honesty is the best policy.

    2. Don't worry about feeding your kids and husband. They will do fine without you cooking meals for them for a week or two.

    3. When they have dinner, walk away from the table, grab a protein shake, get out of the house, and go for a walk for 30 minutes or however long it takes until they are done and the leftovers and everything is put away.

    4. If you MUST be in the kitchen while food is being prepared or eaten, come to the kitchen stuffed full of allowable liquids/foods, and chew strongly flavored gum, so you are not tempted to eat.

    5. JUST STOP AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE DOING TO YOURSELF. Really. You deserve to be treated well by others. Treat yourself with a little more kindness and respect and have higher expectations for yourself. If you want lifelong change, you have to work at it. Don't slip into bad habits. Now is the time to turn things around, before your behavior becomes ingrained.

    6. Look ahead! Honestly, do you want to be person who people talk about when they discuss WLS failures, injuries, and setbacks? Because if you keep it up, they might end up saying about you: "she had the surgery, then didn't last a month before going off the diet, then she got sick and wound up in the hospital, and gained all the weight back plus more, and had that surgery for nothing."

    Be well. Make better choices. Don't hurt yourself.
  • Thaeda
    Thaeda Posts: 834 Member
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    I say this a lot around here (probably to the point folks are sick of hearing it), but this is what works for me.... I ask the question, "What am I committed to?". Am I committed to my health? Am I comitted to eating according to the guidelines given to me by my doctor? Am I committed to fully showing up for life today (instead of eating away emotions with food)?

    Asking myself those questions reminds me that if I say I am committed to my health, my actions need to line up with that. I cannot claim I am committed to me while I am eating things I know I shouldn't. I cannot claim to be a victim when I am a volunteer. I have to take responsibility for my choices --- including what I put into my mouth-- regardless of the circumstances. I know-- that might sound harsh and I do not intend for it to, but for me it is not a complicated process. I make a commitment and I follow through or I don't. Pretty simple. (but NOT easy!).

    Wishing you all the best. :flowerforyou:
  • ATXHeather
    ATXHeather Posts: 218 Member
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    I am going to address something a little differently than the other replies (though I am in 100% agreement that you could do serious harm to yourself!!).

    I am a single mom to 2 kids and I am committed to having a sit down dinner with them every night. That means I have to cook the food, serve it and sit and eat with them. I made them pretty simple meals when I was in the liquid phase and I sat down with them and had my protein drink. When I moved to purees, I made them food that I could easily puree - slow cooker meals work really well for this stage. I am on soft-foods now so I make meals that I can eat. I usually make a protein (chicken, fish, turkey, eggs) and then the kids have a starch (pasta, rice, bread) and a veggie. I only eat the protein and maybe a few bites of the veggie.

    My point is that you can't use feeding your family as an excuse to derail your success. If you have to cook for your family, you have to learn how to manage that. For example, I'm not making the kids homemade mac and cheese for dinner anymore because there would be no option for me to eat. I have to be able to make them brown rice and not eat it. It's not about the kids or cooking for the kids; it's about me and my choices and how committed I am to this process.
  • bikrchk
    bikrchk Posts: 516 Member
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    The "Heathers" are in agreement! You need to learn to make things for your family that you can eat some of! Chili, hearty home made soups and casseroles with lots of protein top the list at this stage, (you may have to whizz them for you for a bit longer). Later, home made pizza using a fajita tortillia as the base, high protein pasta, (yep, it exists, check out your local natural grocery store or order on line)! I also use P28 high protein bread and tortillias, (available on line) which are a great alternative to their high carb, low protein cousins. Wander over to theworldaccorgingtoeggface.com to be inspired with recipe ideas for all stages that the whole family will eat! YOU are the only one who can take control of your after care! Do it and it will make all the difference in your success!