Clueless newbie

this will be jumbled and rambling and depressing. be warned.

i would really like to ride the Harry Potter ride at Universal Studios. In order to do this, I need to lose at least 100 lbs. I need to lose more like 180 to be in my ideal weight range. I have a 50.9 BMI. I would also like to still be alive to meet my grandchildren. I am 38 and went on my first diet at age 11. I've done medifast, jenny craig, weight watchers, atkins, cabbage soup, some weird diet where you ate nothing but fruit juice and brown rice one day and bananas and milk another day, pritikin, gone vegetarian, overeaters anonymous... i always ended up gaining back much more than i lost. weight watchers was the easiest to live with, but all the counting just made everything seem so complicated and if i messed up, i always felt like my day or my week was a disaster.

i am a terrible cook. i am also a very busy sports/PTA mom with a lot of responsibilities in the evenings. Dinner for me is often drive through food or a bowl of cereal.

my idea of eating healthy doesn't involve stuff that was created in a lab from ingredients i can't pronounce. artificial sweeteners taste really bad to me. if i accidentally take a sip of a diet drink, i can't seem to get the nasty taste of my mouth. i'm happy to drink water and choose it over sweet drinks 90+% of the time. i baked one of those cakes where you replace the liquid with diet soda and i ended up throwing the thing away because it was so bitter. i think i could live with the liquid diet part of the process, but not if i have to choke down artificial sweeteners.

i have a bad kidney that basically sits there making stones. i generally avoid too much protein and calcium, though my main problem is not drinking enough water.

so... am i kidding myself thinking that a sleeve is a possibility for me?

I want my face to stop dripping with sweat whenever i do anything besides sit still in a cold room. i would really like to not die of a heart attack or something before i'm 40. and i REALLY want to ride the Harry Potter ride.

I've made contact with a bariatric surgeon's office. i'm waiting for them to get back in touch with me.

one more thing... a friend of mine who had an open RNY in 1999 and she died maybe 2 years after her surgery. there was basically a downward spiral of bleeding ulcers, addiction to pain pills, dehydration, and malnourishment. it was pretty horrible. for many years i thought it would be better to be fat than dead, thinking about what she went through, but the more i gain and the worse i feel, the more it seems like i will be fat AND dead if i don't make a serious change.

Replies

  • Hi Chris,
    I had my surgery 2 weeks ago and let me just say that surgery is a TOOL, not the answer. There is a lot of work YOU still need to do! You will still have the urge to go through the drive-thru because it'll be easier, but you are going to have to THINK about every move you make. You will not be hungry for about a year, or so, but the URGE to graze will be there DAILY!!! You will need to change everything you know about healthy eating, exercise and throw away the notion of DIETING. Because what you are now doing is changing your LIFESTYLE. And, if you have children, you will need to be their teacher for a good, healthy lifestyle.
  • garber6th
    garber6th Posts: 1,890 Member
    Hi Chris,
    I had my surgery 2 weeks ago and let me just say that surgery is a TOOL, not the answer. There is a lot of work YOU still need to do! You will still have the urge to go through the drive-thru because it'll be easier, but you are going to have to THINK about every move you make. You will not be hungry for about a year, or so, but the URGE to graze will be there DAILY!!! You will need to change everything you know about healthy eating, exercise and throw away the notion of DIETING. Because what you are now doing is changing your LIFESTYLE. And, if you have children, you will need to be their teacher for a good, healthy lifestyle.

    I agree with all of this! You are going to have to learn a new normal, so in addition to committing to having the surgery, you absolutely have to commit to lifestyle changes, no excuses. It is a lot of change and it can be a lot of work. It can really seem overwhelming at first, but honestly, you get used to your new normal and it does get easier. I am so glad I made the decision to have the surgery. I have my health and my quality of life back, and I wouldn't trade it for the world.
  • pcoppock
    pcoppock Posts: 140 Member
    The only think I would add is that you really should to go an orientation seminar and get the first round of information based on a program that's available to you. I understand your fear from your friend who had the open RNY,and 'm sorry for your loss,but things have changed dramatically in the last 15 years. There's a reason that the sleeve is the most popular option.

    I'd also suggest getting to a nutritionist. I always avoided seeing on in my many dieting attempts, but had to as part of my approval process. that was one of the best things. It was a completely judgement free zone and she gave us great tools to eat better, with or without VSG as the end goal. I also found out that our insurance will pay for as many nutritionist visits as I want.

    he last piece of advice is to consider therapy. That is something else I have started this year. Part of what I get from it is tools to help me deal with the reasons for why I would eat (all of the emotional aspects of being over weight).

    I wish you the best of luck on your journey.
    -Phill
  • weeziebeth
    weeziebeth Posts: 168 Member
    Ditto to everything above-the part I am spending the most time on (I'm pre-op) is the emotional part of this as I know, absolutely KNOW that if I don't address that, this will be an expensive folly. Therapy-definitely consider therapy as an adjunct to the surgery.

    Regarding the kidney stone issue-I'm assuming you probably have both a urologist and a nephrologist amongst the various physicians you may see. I would recommend talking with them together with your potential surgeon (or at least a collaborative string of conversations). The pre and post-op diet is very much protein based but people with kidney disease with protein restrictions have had it done very successfully. Is the kidney stone problem for a calcium or a uric acid issue? That will also likely make a difference. That said, coming here for advice on whether it is possible for your particular medical condition, while tempting, is perhaps not the best approach. We can support one another, kick each other in the rear, answer many lifestyle and coping questions but we cannot speak to your particular medical concerns. I offer the above just as a suggestion for how to approach your medical team.

    You have really good reasons for wanting to lose weight and it seems you've tried so many things (laughed when you mentioned pritikin-anyone who thinks VSG/WLS diet is strict should take a gander at THAT torture). I hope you find an answer and a plan for moving forward-peace and love...

    Elizabeth
  • Just read and educate yourself as much as possible! Talk to the surgeon. See what your insurance will cover. I am 4 months and 68 lbs down and I only wish I would have done it years ago!! It is not a quick fix but I feel amazing!!!

    Rachel