My First Pre-Surgery Emotional Outburst.
relentless2121
Posts: 431 Member
Today I had an appointment at the hospital with admitting, then to see the anesthesiologist.
It is 7 weeks today that my mom passed away and I know how proud she would be of me that my time for surgery has finally come.
When the admitting clerk was going over my information, she asked me if my mom, and then said her name, was still my next of kin.
Suddenly I had more tears than I've had since her passing. The combination of the emotions of this surgery was finally starting to hit me combined with the grieving process which is so unlike me. I cry at the drop of a hat and yet it wasn't till she said her name and asked if she was still my next of kin that the combination of not grieving and looking at the surgery rationally and medically as opposed to emotionally finally started to hit me.
She was so sweet and sympathetic, offering me Kleenex and took her time with the questions making the experience as gentle as she could seeing the very fragile state that I fell into.
When that part was done I went to the washroom to check my eye make-up. Good thing because my right eye looked like a raccoon with mascara. Then I grabbed a decaf coffee and texted a friend.
Even when I met with the anesthesiologist I started up a bit, telling him and the pharmacy student who sat in on the appointment what I had just experienced. Again, he was very kind and sympathetic. Not only did he listen to me but he said it was normal.
I hope not delaying the surgery because of mom's passing wasn't a mistake but I think once it's over it will all be a distant memory.
I'm doing well on the Pre-Op Liquid diet although I don't think I can have the Diabetic Boost Strawberry flavor anymore. The Vanilla and chocolate and fine to get down when I warm them up but I'm finding that the strawberry is disgusting and the smell is much stronger.
So as Day 7 comes to a close I am surviving quite well. The caffeine withdrawal headaches finally stopped yesterday, yeah!
Thanks for all your support everyone.
It is 7 weeks today that my mom passed away and I know how proud she would be of me that my time for surgery has finally come.
When the admitting clerk was going over my information, she asked me if my mom, and then said her name, was still my next of kin.
Suddenly I had more tears than I've had since her passing. The combination of the emotions of this surgery was finally starting to hit me combined with the grieving process which is so unlike me. I cry at the drop of a hat and yet it wasn't till she said her name and asked if she was still my next of kin that the combination of not grieving and looking at the surgery rationally and medically as opposed to emotionally finally started to hit me.
She was so sweet and sympathetic, offering me Kleenex and took her time with the questions making the experience as gentle as she could seeing the very fragile state that I fell into.
When that part was done I went to the washroom to check my eye make-up. Good thing because my right eye looked like a raccoon with mascara. Then I grabbed a decaf coffee and texted a friend.
Even when I met with the anesthesiologist I started up a bit, telling him and the pharmacy student who sat in on the appointment what I had just experienced. Again, he was very kind and sympathetic. Not only did he listen to me but he said it was normal.
I hope not delaying the surgery because of mom's passing wasn't a mistake but I think once it's over it will all be a distant memory.
I'm doing well on the Pre-Op Liquid diet although I don't think I can have the Diabetic Boost Strawberry flavor anymore. The Vanilla and chocolate and fine to get down when I warm them up but I'm finding that the strawberry is disgusting and the smell is much stronger.
So as Day 7 comes to a close I am surviving quite well. The caffeine withdrawal headaches finally stopped yesterday, yeah!
Thanks for all your support everyone.
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Replies
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Grief is like that.... it comes upon us in surprising and powerful ways. I am so glad the medical professionals you are working with were compassionate towards you. You are doing VERY well--- YAY you!! Keep up the good work. 0
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Oh, my dear.
I lost my mom in August 2010. I think of her every day. I dream of her regularly. I still tear up pretty regularly. When I was coming up to surgery, I went through the same thing. I was emotional. I thought about my mom all the time. This is what I believe:
If your mom were able to, she would tell you how happy she is that you are taking action to be a healthier person. Maybe you think about her more now, and feel that emotion, because her spirit is sticking to you like glue as you approach this life-altering experience, because she loves you and will protect you as best she can. So, when you think about mom, take a deep breath, smile, acknowledge her presence in your heart, and feel safe in the knowledge that you are never alone.
((Sorry if that is that too hippy dippy wa wa for you!))0 -
katematt313 wrote: »Oh, my dear.
If your mom were able to, she would tell you how happy she is that you are taking action to be a healthier person. Maybe you think about her more now, and feel that emotion, because her spirit is sticking to you like glue as you approach this life-altering experience, because she loves you and will protect you as best she can. So, when you think about mom, take a deep breath, smile, acknowledge her presence in your heart, and feel safe in the knowledge that you are never alone.
^^^^^THIS!!!!^^^^^
And to you both.... so sorry for your loss.
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Also, if you're losing weight on this pre-op diet, your hormones may be messing with you as they are released from the fat.
So sorry for your loss. I lost both my parents, one 2 years ago, the other 6 years ago. It still feels like yesterday.0 -
I am very glad to hear that the medical folks handled it well, keeping it from becoming a really negative experience.
You've got support here when you need it and I am glad to hear that the physical stuff associated with the pre-op diet is going better. No headaches is a huge plus!
Rob0 -
The same thing happened to me when I went for my egd they had on file my mom as my emergency contact .she passed away 4 years ago but it startled me a little bite put took it as it was her letting me know she was with me.its normal to break down your grieving. And your going through preop I'm not their yet but it does not seam easy.your doing great0
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I am glad that you finally let the tears flow. It make have hit you at an unexpected time, but I believe you were at the right place for it to happen. The staff did a wonderful job handling the situation. I also believe that you dealing with your emotions before you had your surgery is much more beneficial to you then you may realize.
You have done an excellent job thus far and I do believe your mom would be proud and happy for you.
Keep up the great job, you deserve to be happy and healthy my friend. 0 -
Thanks to all of you for your understanding, words of encouragement and support. It means the world to me that I have such a strong support system here. I come from a dysfunctional family as many people do who develop an addiction. I won't have a lot of support from those who are left but along with you guys and have many wonderful friends who are helping me through this in my home town. Also, my city does not offer a WLS support group meeting. The program is too new here and they don't have the resources for that here. There is a meet and greet this weekend where people socialize and exchange clothes but I'm not sure that I'll make it as my energy is really low and I have to pace myself these next few days. My gang of 5 girlfriends who I've known since Grade 7 are coming to visit me the night of surgery. I hope that I am awake when they come. Three of them are nurses so they totally understand. Thanks again to all of you for lifting me up.
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Totally understandable reaction given the circumstances I am glad that everyone who you had to deal with was so supportive and kind. I love your wake up team, that would be the best thing waking up to see all of good friends with you.
I'm sure I discussed this with my fiancee but he didn't quite get how long I would be in hospital and took the day of surgery and the next day off work so he could pick me up and bring me home and be home with me the next day LOL
I think he needs a break anyway, so he can have that day to himself now!
My paperwork says minimum 2 nights in hospital so I am hoping to be discharged on Friday 14th. And am going to try my best to start walking as soon as I can and then pick up on the exercising.
I'll be thinking of you too!0 -
katematt313 wrote: »Oh, my dear.
If your mom were able to, she would tell you how happy she is that you are taking action to be a healthier person. Maybe you think about her more now, and feel that emotion, because her spirit is sticking to you like glue as you approach this life-altering experience, because she loves you and will protect you as best she can. So, when you think about mom, take a deep breath, smile, acknowledge her presence in your heart, and feel safe in the knowledge that you are never alone.
^^^^^THIS!!!!^^^^^
And to you both.... so sorry for your loss.
Thank you, Thaeda!0 -
Thanks Qski, I'll be thinking of you too.
Thanks katemate for your lovely message and for your support and empathy. 0
