The impossible surgery.

vyvrhovat
vyvrhovat Posts: 80 Member
edited November 8 in Social Groups
Nobody actually needs to read this, I know it is insanely long. I just need a place to vent.


I'd been pulling together the funds for maybe 2 years or so because I knew from the start that I was going to be self-pay, since my insurance doesn't cover anything relating to weight loss surgery. Let me just say right off the bat that I'm 25 years old, I've always been extremely frugal and conscious of my spending since my early teens, and I am extremely proud of myself for finally having saved the necessary $11,000-ish to pay for surgery, appointments, lab work, vitamins/supplements, etc. while still having a tiny cushion left over just to not wipe myself completely out. As soon as my savings hit that magic number, I set up my initial consultation with my surgeon for 10/17.
My friend actually had his own sleeve done by this guy. I thought it was kind of humorous that the patient advocate, receptionist, and my friend all warned me that the surgeon was a wonderful doctor but always late and a bit of a forgetful man. When I went in to first get the ball rolling with him, I made it clear that I wasn't joking around or there to see him just on a whim. I didn't think it would be all that out of the ordinary to be met with disbelief and some level of disrespect like I usually am with other medical professionals (I'm young, I have extensive tattoo work, and two facial piercings; this can dissuade many people from treating you like someone who deserves to be taken seriously). I was very pleased that he didn't react in those ways at all and told me that he approved of the fact that I was taking these steps early on in my life rather than waiting until I was crippled by weight-related diseases and too overwhelmed by medication costs to afford the procedure. He told me that he had a surgery date opening on 11/10, which was just a little over three weeks away. I never thought it would be so fast, but I hadn't even discussed anything with work yet so I told him I needed some time to work things out. It was Friday and he had to know by Monday if I was going to take it.
First hurdle: Work. I went to my supervisor on Monday morning and explained what I wanted to do, that I'd need one week off work following the surgery, and that the surgeon suggested I only do half-days for the week after. I was told that this wouldn't be a problem at all and that HR would send me my FMLA paperwork. I called the surgeon's office and told them that he was expecting a message from me. He was in an appointment, so the receptionist said she'd pass on the message that I had called in to confirm my 11/10 surgery date. I didn't get my FMLA paperwork for a full week, which put me at two weeks before my surgery date, so I was extremely relieved to finally be able to start the process until I read the very first paragraph of what I'd been sent. To qualify for FMLA, you're required to have worked with the company for 12 months. I'd only been there 9. None of the management team or HR remembered to tell me this, of course.
I went to my supervisor again after learning that the FMLA route for getting my time off work approved wasn't going to be an option. I was honestly freaking out because I had two weeks until my surgery date and I'd already scheduled my nutritionist appointment, lab work, and psychiatric evaluation but have no clue whether or not I'd be allowed to actually leave work to go to them at that point. He was very reassuring, said that he would put in the request for the time off straight to his manager probably that Wednesday, that I didn't need to worry, blah blah blah. I went ahead and fit in two appointments that week, my psychiatric evaluation and my lab work.
Second hurdle: The lab work. Hurdle #1 isn't over yet. We'll come back to that. I was taking off several unpaid hours from work for this appointment on Friday, 10/31, even though I hadn't heard back yet from my supervisor as to whether or not this was even okay for me to do. At that point, I just wanted to get it done and worry about work later. When I get to my GP's office, I'm told right off the bat that I wasn't on the schedule. I told them that I'd scheduled the appointment just a few days after my first meeting with the surgeon a week before but it was pretty clear that the receptionist didn't believe me because I couldn't remember the name of the woman I'd spoken to and "this never happens". My GP wasn't even in the office that day, none of the other doctors were available to see me, I'd have to set an appointment again. I asked when that might be and was told that they didn't have another opening until 11/7, three days before my surgery date.
Needless to say, I was very unhappy. I made it clear that I didn't have the luxury of taking off work whenever I wanted to and that the surgeon needed my lab results sooner, not later. On top of that, my job probably wasn't going to let me miss another 3-4 hours on such short notice when I was about to be gone for a week and a half. I don't have THAT kind of job. They kept telling me they couldn't do anything about it, I said I wasn't going to leave until I was seen. No joke, it took about 10 solid minutes of arguing with two different women through the glass before they finally threw up their hands and made it happen (if it was possible to begin with, why not just make it work before the argument? right?). I could tell they never believed I'd talked to anyone there at the office, despite the fact that I have their contact number saved in my phone and had the call history to prove it. Cool, whatever. Lab work done with a strangely awkward doctor who was new to the practice, I didn't even care.
Back to the first hurdle. I returned to work after the appointment and cornered my supervisor to ask for any kind of update on my time off approvals, since my surgery date was exactly 10 days away at that point. He said he had no update because he hadn't even submitted my request yet, to stop bugging him, he'd get it submitted that day or Monday. You know, exactly 7 days before my surgery date. Never mind that he'd said he would put in the request on Wednesday. I'm unraveling, seriously. I spent the whole weekend a nervous wreck, and first thing Monday morning, I cornered him again. All of his previous reassurance and positive attitude regarding my surgery were suddenly gone and he let me know with a pretty harsh tone that he'd submitted the request an hour or so earlier, but that if it wasn't approved, I wasn't going to get that week after my surgery off of work or the half-days the week after that approved either. I'd lose my job if I did it.
I'm bad at breaking up paragraphs, can you tell? That Monday definitely sucked. I was heading up the training for a new hire class and couldn't focus at all. I was on edge, snippy, emotional-- I honestly was sure that I was going to just burst into tears at any moment right there in the office, which is NOT my thing. Since I'm self-pay, all the money I'd already spent on my appointments was not going to be refundable and I'd have to set them again after the first of the year, which meant I'd be losing about $700 right off the bat and then I'd have to spend it again whenever I managed to actually convince my job to let me off work for it.
My supervisor let me swim around in my bottomless pool of stress for the rest of the day before finally informing me that the time off was approved. However, it would count against me. Which pretty much meant that I would be going directly from perfect attendance to "three strikes". But the good news there was that I could get the surgery and still keep my job, if only by a hair. It'll take a few months to bring down the attendance points the surgery time will put on and I won't be eligible for any of the promotions that are coming up (which I have been gunning for pretty hardcore), but so long as I don't miss a single day of work between the end of my surgery time off and probably January, I should be back in the safe zone.
Final hurdle. #3. I managed to take a long lunch to take care of my nutritionist appointment on Wednesday, 5 days before my surgery date. This part went fine, actually. He was a great guy, very informative, he answered all my questions and I was about to leave before I suddenly remembered to ask him, "Oh, hey, I still haven't heard anything from anyone about my final pre-op appointment at all and nobody's reached out to me for payment. Is this normal?" He confessed that it was weird. He pulls up his laptop to take a look at it. All I can see is his face, not the screen, but he suddenly made an expression that I knew already because the receptionist at my GP's office had the same exact one when I went in for my lab work. The nutritionist just said, "Uhh," and then clicked on a few things. It was quiet for a long time. Then he said the words that almost made my head explode: "You're not on the schedule for surgery on Monday."
So this is the part where I lost my *kitten*. Literally, I had nothing left with which to contain myself. I started laughing, but not in that "funny ha-ha" kind of way. It was more like that "I am completely off my rocker at this point and you might be in physical danger for being in the same room as me" kind of laugh. He said to hang on, he'd check again, look over some other dates, see if it was just a little slip-up.. Nope. Nothing. I. Was. Not. On. The. Schedule. For surgery in five days. I didn't even say anything for a long time while he continued to search through whatever was on his laptop screen, but I could see his frantic eyes shooting between the laptop and my quickly, loudly drumming fingers on the table between us. My eyes were probably huge. I'm pretty sure I either wasn't breathing at all or I was breathing so fast that my nose was whistling (Texas allergies suck). He even had the nerve to ask me, "Are you sure the 10th was the right date?"
HAHAHAHA. HAHAHAAAAA. HAAAAAAA... This poor, poor nutritionist. He had no idea what he'd gotten himself into, having his appointment with me that day. While I wasn't exactly screaming, I was definitely not using my inside voice when I answered him and I was gripping the edge of the table so hard that I broke a fingernail. Not kidding. "When I met with Dr. Sherrod, he told me that he had an opening on 11/10 but that I needed to let him know by the following business day if I was going to be able to take it. I called him first thing Monday morning and spoke with the woman at the front desk, informing her that I wanted the 11/10 date. She said she would pass the message along. So was it the receptionist who just didn't pass along this VERY IMPORTANT MESSAGE or was it the doctor who FORGOT TO SCHEDULE MY $10,000 SURGERY for this coming Monday? Please be aware that I've almost lost my job securing these exact dates off work and nearly got into a fight with my family doctor's front desk these past three weeks because of how soon the surgery date he set for me was. I need you to figure this out, and right now."

Replies

  • vyvrhovat
    vyvrhovat Posts: 80 Member
    So off he went. He apologized profusely and disappeared into the hallway after telling me he'd be calling my surgeon immediately. Surprise surprise, the man was in surgery for the next few hours. The poor nutritionist spent the next 20 minutes trying to offer me a wide variety of other appointment dates, none of which I could take because I knew that I would undoubtedly be fired if I tried to rearrange my time off and miss any of the increased Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Years' work loads. He swore up and down that he'd get it figured out with the scheduler and call me, that maybe they'd accept a fifth surgery for Monday due to the circumstances. I said, "What about my pre-op appointment with Dr. Sherrod?" He replied, "You don't really need to have one of those, it's fine, that's just to have you sign the release forms and make sure you've been doing the low-carb pre-op diet for two weeks, haven't been smoking or drinking, that kind of thing."
    Let me just say that I know smoking is bad. Obviously. It is terrible. It's a disgusting habit and I hate that I do it, I really do. I figured that it might increase the risk of infection post-op and make the healing time drag out a little more, but I'm not a doctor, so I didn't really think much of it. So when I confessed to the nutritionist that I've been smoking several cigarettes a day for the past year or so, he made a face and just said, "Well, stop right now." So I left back for work after signing the release forms and put my cigarettes in the glove compartment. If you've bothered to read this far, please do me a favor and don't nag me on this one. I know the risks related to cigarettes and anesthesia/surgery now, but I didn't then, and that was my mistake. If someone hadn't forgotten to schedule my surgery and met with me much sooner to discuss this, I would've stopped much, much earlier.
    I'm tired of this story, it is stressing me out all over again. Wrapping it up, the nutritionist who should never have had to deal with anything relating scheduling surgeries at all ended up calling me five times in the next two hours before we finally agreed on Tuesday, 11/11, at 11:30am. This allowed me to keep my existing days off from work without having to discuss it with management and risk pissing them off even more, and also meant that the hospital wouldn't have to bring in a second surgeon and second anesthesiologist for a fifth procedure on their already packed Monday schedule. I won't be seeing my surgeon again until Tuesday, I'll be meeting my anesthesiologist on Monday, and I paid the bariatrics center, the hospital, and the anesthesiologist all over the phone on Thursday (the day after my nutritionist appointment). I had to call my bank three different times to raise my check card's spending limit so that they could pull $9,863 out of my account all at once.

    I went and bought all my vitamins, supplements and week 1-2 "foods" today. I feel like I should be nervous, since my REAL surgery date is now in three days. But I'm kind of wiped from being so stressed out these past few weeks after everything that's happened, so now I'm just ready for it to be done so that nobody will have a chance to try and screw it up any further. I want to get this over with so that I can go back to work and start working off the penalties I've taken for all of this mess and start building my savings account back up. I'm grateful for this opportunity, but I can't tell if all the things going wrong are some sign that I shouldn't be doing it or if they're all tests to prove that I want it enough to keep pushing forward. Who knows, right? Haha. AARRRGGHHHH.

    Alright, longest post ever. Sorry, everybody.
  • pcoppock
    pcoppock Posts: 140 Member
    I'm sorry to hear it was such a struggle, but it sounds like it all fell into place. Wishing you calming thoughts between now and Tuesday.

    -Phill
  • 2BeHappy2
    2BeHappy2 Posts: 811 Member
    1st, I can tell that you are mature...simply because it takes a lot of maturity to save and hold onto that kind of money, most "kids" see it & spend it :disappointed:
    You've had a long (& determined) goal of what you wanted and how you were going to get it, good job for sticking through it!
    Because of ALL that you've done & gone through gives me hope for you that you will only be that much of a stronger person because of all these hoops and hurdles you've had to pass through.
    Rewards are always much sweeter when you've had to work twice as hard to get it!
    Good luck, you Can do this :smile:
  • klcovington
    klcovington Posts: 376 Member
    Good luck with your surgery! Concentrate now on relaxing and preparing yourself mentally and physically for your new journey.
  • vyvrhovat
    vyvrhovat Posts: 80 Member
    Thanks, you guys.
  • paul87920
    paul87920 Posts: 165 Member
    Keep us updated. I hope everything goes well for you tomorrow.
  • thinnerrugger
    thinnerrugger Posts: 25 Member
    From a Well Seasoned Patient, here's what I know:
    YOU KNOW YOU ARE READY TO MAKE THIS LIFE CHANGING DECISION WHEN YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT:
    what you have to go through,
    how much it will cost you,
    what you will have to do to comply,
    what you will have to give up to comply,
    how inconvenient it will be,
    how hard it will be,
    despite the risks involved,
    and clearly, my friend, in my unprofessional yet highly experienced experience,
    YOU ARE READY TO DO THIS.

    It sounds like you are in a good place the night before as I write this Monday night, November 10th. I hope you come to a point where, at this hour, if by chance, you read this tonight, and I so hope you do, there is a feeling of relief as you put your head down on your pillow tonight. If not then, blink at the anesthesiologist and ask him to float you a little bit on the drugs before he puts you sound asleep. You deserve at least that much! And, finally, try to let go of the stress of everything you've worked towards for years. It was worth it. It's time to focus on YOU now. Take care of YOU. For now, let everything else go. Just let it go. Deep cleansing breath.

    Work will be there. You'll be back on solid ground before you know it. Your savings will bounce back and when you look back on this, it'll seem like a blip of time in your life.

    There's an article about 10-10-10 and it talks about how we make decisions and how we view things in our lives.

    "If I [blank], how will I feel 10 minutes from now? How will I feel 10 months from now and how will I feel 10 years from now?"

    10 minutes from now? hopefully you feel exhausted, albeit a bit anxious and somewhat relieved
    10 months from now? positive it was all worth it
    10 years from now? hopefully holding at a weight that makes you happy and healthy.

    I will think of you tomorrow and wish you an easy time.

    (was that the longest reply ever?
  • funfatfriend
    funfatfriend Posts: 57 Member
    Hope surgery went well, sorry you have had such a hard time to go. I want to mention that with FMLA it is a federal law, so your employer can NOT hold those days against you or give you points for being off. You can always contact the labor board if they give you grief over this. Also, OMG you rock! I am 40 and there's NO way I can possibly save that amount of money! KUDOS!!!!
  • pawoodhull
    pawoodhull Posts: 1,759 Member
    Wow! So today is the 12th. How did surgery go yesterday?
  • JeanneMarie11111
    JeanneMarie11111 Posts: 57 Member
    My first reaction to your post was OMG, then I sat back and wondered if I would have had the perseverance to continue, and I would like to just smack your boss. It's the day after your surgery, I hope everything is going well for you this day. We will all be here for support when you need it and encouragement when you need that. Good thoughts heading your way in the days to come
  • vyvrhovat
    vyvrhovat Posts: 80 Member
    I appreciate all the positive feedback, you guys. My surgery went very well. I slept off and on the four or five hours immediately following the procedure, but then spent a lot of my hospital stay walking the halls while the excellent pain meds in my IV kept me feeling like Superwoman. They pulled a suuuuuuper long tube out of the hole in my stomach the day I left, which felt incredibly gross.

    84qtbk02v27u.jpg

    That whole thing! Ech! I could feel it getting yanked out of my insides while she did it, it was the weirdest sensation. But then my surgeon was incredibly late coming to see me to approve my release, and they'd already taken me off the pain medication to go home. So I spent probably five hours off medication waiting for him, which made me suddenly aware of how much I needed it. Haha. But he came, discharged me, and I went home to immediately lay in my very lumpy, uncomfortable bed after dosing myself on the nasty liquid hydrocodone they gave me.

    It's been two days since I got out and things are going well. I only felt nauseated briefly when I had to take my pain meds, but when I paired those tiny sips with sips of warm tea, it got rid of that feeling completely. I haven't thrown up at all, I have no heartburn (probably because of the Prilosec they have me on), and I've been getting more and more mobile every day. I find that the deeper breaths I take, the easier it is for me to move around immediately after.
    One thing that's making me crazy is the gas. Not so much anywhere in my body except in my chest. They warned me that I'd feel it in my chest and shoulders too, and I feel like I constantly need to burp but can't. The pressure bubbles up right behind my sternum and won't go away, so I have to hold my breath for a minute or take really quick, shallow breaths to push around the weird bubbles.

    I bought broth but officially hate it, the oily texture makes me want to spit it out. So I'm pretty much only drinking lots and lots of tea, plus some coconut water with cocoa protein in it that sat surprisingly well on day two. I had a container of sugar free whipped cream in my freezer, so I'll take a baby spoon of that and let it sit in my mouth for a long time until it completely melts down to a liquid. That's a pleasant break from just meds and tea.
  • janet0513
    janet0513 Posts: 564 Member
    You certainly went through a lot to get this done. I'm glad that the surgery went well for you and wish you the best in your recovery. You are a very determined person so I think you will do great.
  • klcovington
    klcovington Posts: 376 Member
    Congrats on the surgery and so happy to hear it is going well!!
  • pawoodhull
    pawoodhull Posts: 1,759 Member
    Glad to hear everything went well. If you can't handle the broth you might want to try Isopure Zero. GNC carries it. It's flavored water with lots of protein in it, so it counts for both your water and protein. Good luck and keep posting so we can all see how great you are doing.

    Pat
  • jrnguyen
    jrnguyen Posts: 92 Member
    I'm 8 weeks post op and still rely heavily on Isopure Zero. I have to water it down, usually 1:1 ratio, because they are too potent otherwise, but they are a great way to meet your fluid and protein goals. Also, its a nice change from shakes and broth.
  • Liongoddess
    Liongoddess Posts: 107 Member
    So glad you made it thru that mess of a pre-op time. Keep us posted on your progress, it sounds like you are off to a great start.
  • JeanneMarie11111
    JeanneMarie11111 Posts: 57 Member
    so glad you are home and doing good let us know how you progress
  • authorwriter
    authorwriter Posts: 323 Member
    Wow. glad it went well.
This discussion has been closed.