Hmm....holidays. I didn't do much of anything for Thanksgiving. Took off the week from my job, so I could work part time for my dad, trying to make some extra money to get us caught up... No such luck so far, as it is all commission, but might yet. *sigh*

As far as Yule/Christmas, we've been so broke for so long, thinking about celebrating much at all is a guilt fest. If I'm lucky, we'll have enough money to do something...anything.

I'm not giving up on anything - in fact it is about time for me to go and walk, but our food budget is so out of whack, eating even remotely healthy is so difficult at the moment, but I do what I can.

I'm maintaining at 250-255. That is my goal. But if not, I'll be right back at it as soon as I can... Medications have helped some, but it is so difficult for me to remember to take everything when I'm off my normal schedule...Ugh.

I still don't do well setting goals and expectations and resolutions. I think making resolutions once a year because everyone else is doing it is ludicrous. If you want to do it, and are doing it for you, hooah, and good too you. If you are doing it for any other reason, and it fuels your motivation and determination, that's a win, too. But like anything else, if it is lip service only, might as well save yourself the trouble.

Instead my goals are somewhat like this, "If tomorrow, I am one step closer to healthier, then I've won, whether that is a mental, physical, spiritual, or any type of step..." Aside from that, I have to ease off, or guilt and feelings of failure will beat the crap out of me.... And that just sucks, so we aren't letting that happen, right?

Hugs, Carly

That is amazing - I'm so excited for you. I hope that your progress continues to buoy you through the difficult times that are always out there. Increased energy and efficiency would be a boon to anyone!!

And kudos to getting to meet the grandchildren!!

My goals are loose, too - health...that is my goal. Not some magic number on a scale or pair of pants, not some mythical amount of "enter exercise here" completed, not any of those things that in the grand scheme of things don't matter much compared with how I FEEL...

When I stopped thinking about losing weight as my goal and started thinking about gaining health as my goal, my whole world shifted!

Carly-my best friend and I just had this conversation today. She is so focused on health and getting healthy that she doesn't care about the number on the scale. Mine is about both. I'd like to get to 140-150, but just to be healthy is a goal of mine..... but I really want to be that number also. I've always wanted to be that number. I always wanted to be a size 8/10, be able to wear cute clothes, awesome hot boots, just be comfortable in my own skin.

What's crazy though is I go to a couple of BBW events each year where size acceptance is the main feature. I never hate myself more then when get home from an event.... don't get me wrong, I've made some great friends there, but when I get home, I realize just how unhappy I am in the stuffed body I've become.

So, here it is December 1st......I am about 6-12 weeks from gastric bypass and cannot wish time away quick enough. I am truly hoping with the loss of just some weight, I can get back to moving a lot more. I'm even putting back surgery off awhile until I have WLS to see how it helps to get at least 95lbs off. (1/2 of what I want to lose).....

Julie, I am so very glad you have more energy and are feeling better than before. I too hope that you are able to get off your Cpap machine soon.

As far as resolutions go... I do not make then. This year I made what I call committments to me. YEAH. they didn't last all year either. The big one was to make sure I use food to nourish me NOT to comfort my soul. I'm getting better with the emotional eating. So I cannot say it was a complete bust.

Hugs,
Carrie