I am in a similar spot. Close to an adult low, and wearing the same size as I wore when I was there. Losing some of the motivation to keep the discipline I developed, but not ready to settle for this size. I want to lose 20-40 more and then reassess.

Some confusing emotions as a get mad at myself for not keeping up the discipline, but knowing I should give myself a break. How does therapy work? Do you just go in and start talking about he stuff you know makes no sense objectively but is real to you?

Rob

I've only lost 67 lbs but I know how you guys feel. In pictures there is a huge difference but when I look in the mirror, I look exactly the same as I did when I spent my days telling myself what a fat slob I was and wondering why I couldn't get my crap together well enough to lose something, anything!! I have to work really hard to give myself a break. The only therapist that I've found that works for me has retired so I don't have the option to go back to her, I really wish I did. She's the reason I even started on this journey, I wouldn't be where I am without her. Am I really going to have to see that person in the mirror for the rest of my life?

First know that you all are beautiful from the inside out and I can relate to how you are feeling. Some days I look in the mirror and see the 345lb me and I say I've got to lose this weight. I know that I am 108 lbs smaller but in my mind I still see the heavier person. People keep telling me how great I look and that I look as if I'm still losing, but I have been at the same weight for months and this has caused my motivation to lower. I'm not going back but have slowed at moving forward. My doctor says I need to lose another 20lbs for what is considered as successful, but I desire to lose at least 50lbs more. The only thing that has given me a jolt of reality of how I really look, is when someone snapped a pic of me that I wasn't aware of and I saw it. Before I realize it's me I said, that lady is a nice size, then I realized it was me and was like, WOW that's me. So again, I can relate to. I hope you start to see that you are beautiful from the inside out. Good luck.

You have all done an amazing job and I appreciate your sharing. Shonrecio has it right. Look at pictures. Your before and after pictures, Old clothes etc. Think about what you can do now, that you couldn't before. The mirror lies and our brains play tricks on us. You are all an inspiration!

I feel so much better and I focus on that. Sure I see the flabby arms and jiggly thighs, I see the scars of all the surgeries I have had to eradicate the cancer. But I also see the new healthier me. I will never be smoking hot, but I am loved by my family and that makes me want to be healthy more that anything.

You are all beautiful no matter what!

Totally understand. This made me think too about how when I was 100 lbs heavier, sometimes I would still see myself as the thinnest I had been, and then I'd see a pic of me on Facebook and think - that's not how I look! So it kinda goes both way.

I look at myself and think "there's something wrong with me." I live on protein yogurt skim milk sometimes an egg or some meat...weight pretty much stalled in the 280s. Makes no sense to me. I think i may be losing a little more at the moment. I have no metabolism. I don't know why. Good thing is most food doesn't taste good or doesn't sit right. Still makes no sense I can go through all this and not get very far. Better than where I was tho. When my back is less crippled up maybe it will be better.

Well honestly I wasn't as big as some people, but I was over 40% bmi and was huge. People didn't believe me when I told them what I weighed luckily because I have a frame that hid it. While i'll be 2 months post op tomorrow, I haven't lost like I thought I would. Like 47lbs since pre-op. However, yesterday my wife and I attended the funeral of her 46 year old cousin that passed away of a heart attack right after he dropped his 11 year old son at school. 46! I'm coming off my bp meds one at a time. Two weeks ago my bp was 95/61. I get lab results today on my cholesterol and such so we'll see, but I can't imagine it will be any worse than what it was.

As far as what I see in the mirror, I am my own worse critic and I will tear myself down further than anyone ever will, but I know when I hug my wife and can actually wrap my arms around her and vice versa without my gut pushing her away, I don't worry about it. I think in our minds we will always be that overweight person we hated. There has to be a cognitive intervention. I'm not saying i'm happy with where i'm at. I still have 60lbs to go, and it will be hard pounds to lose, but I will get there. I had this surgery because for some reason I couldn't drop the pounds eating basically the same food and doing the same stuff and to feel better. We all have our demons to fight with, but I am going to win.

Everyone here has won. This is not a sprint, this is a marathon. It's a lifetime change and commitment. I'm not telling you anything you don't already know, but you have to find little things that make you smile. A hug, a pair of pants, an old photo. Anything that will make you say, "That's not me anymore".

Sorry i'm not good at this type of stuff.

jamezln wrote: »

Everyone here has won. This is not a sprint, this is a marathon. It's a lifetime change and commitment. I'm not telling you anything you don't already know, but you have to find little things that make you smile. A hug, a pair of pants, an old photo. Anything that will make you say, "That's not me anymore".

Sorry i'm not good at this type of stuff.

James,

I agree with, Thaeda, don't sell yourself short.

I found that when I started here, I decided to try to be as positive and useful as some of my big inspirations here. I found it really odd that I could tell people to be positive and rely on themselves to be strong but I could never give myself any breaks or be positive about myself.

That is probably the biggest lesson I have learned here outside of nutritiony stuff, is how important it is to be kind to yourself. It's still not easy, but I now recognize when I am being hard on myself, and try to tone it down and reflect on my successes without pointing out my failures.

It's always good to continually refresh the positivity here, James!

Rob

pawoodhull wrote: »

Oh boy! This is a thread I was supposed to read! Lowest was 222, hit it while on vacation in Sept. Since them I've bounced up and keep going between 224 and 229. I'm discouraged, bewildered and so ready to just quit! And it's the discouragement and frustration because my own personal goal was to get and stay somewhere below 200. I've come so close to deleteing my account on here a dozen times in the last few weeks. I am so not in a good place with this right now.

Pat-I am so sorry you are in such a difficult place right now. You have made such incredible progress over the last couple of years and, as you say, you have always been a slow loser. I can imagine the frustration that has caused but you are in a MUCH better place than at the beginning of your journey. I wish I had words of encouragement such as you have often given others, but I don't know. What I do know is that your voice is one I always look for when I come to this board because I know you are a veteran in this war and that there is much wisdom in what you have to say. For very selfish reasons, I would miss that immensely if you were to leave. I wish I could give you a bear hug and share a cup of tea and offer encouragement to you, and that is was as simple as that. But I know this is something you have to work through on your own, and I am confident that you will. Know though, that there are many here to support and cheer you along the way…..and buckle up buttercup!

Hey Paul; I hope those tears are because you live in Indiana because you are making great progress towrads your goal of living a long life.

That feeling of confindence will come as you build upon success. Own everything you do well and give yourself permission to take those victories out anytime you need them! Keep it going, keep on working.

I average 8 pounds a month! I lose slow! I guess we will all have struggles, but just knowing that I have you as friends helps. My husband is very supportive, but then he still fits in his college clothes, and he is 63!
Take care my friends and keep up the great work! Don't give up! We can win this battle!