Pep Talk Needed!
ashlando
Posts: 125 Member
This might not be the right forum for this, but since you are all crossfit athletes, I felt the need to reach out.
I am in need of a serious pep talk.
I've been crossfitting consistently for about 18 months. I originally started crossfit to lose weight, but found that I really loved the whole process of learning things I had never done before and working towards getting better and stronger every day. In the process, I was able to lose 30 lbs. which helped tremendously with my self-esteem and confidence. I've been able to keep that weight off for a year which is more than I can say about any "diet" or exercise regime I've ever been on.
I still get to the gym 4-5 days a week and I am at the point now where I've more or less plateaued in every single lift and movement. In some ways I've gone backwards, which I didn't think was possible. I guess I thought that after 18 months I would be up to speed with all of the other athletes in the gym (aside from the elite ones, of course). I'm still consistently the slowest person in every class and I am still scaling at least half of the WODs.
I am seeing people who started around the same time as me or much later than me, getting their first chest-to-bar pull-ups or ring dips. It's frustrating to be left in the dust, still struggling on these movements.
Last year was my first Open. I was so excited but scared at the same time. I was so wide-eyed and hopeful. I loved the energy at the gym during those times and really thrived on it. This year, I didn't want to sign up. My one friend at the gym convinced me to, so I reluctantly did, but I am still teetering on the edge of not participating. But I know my gym will be programming those Open workouts anyway, so I might as well get a score. This is not the way the Open should be approached. I am dreading it. I know this is selfish to say, but I don't want to see or even read about how great my fellow gym goers are doing because it only makes me feel bad about myself and ashamed at my lack of progress.
I recently "unfollowed" a lot of crossfit related Instagram accounts and stopped reading the blog of my gym (where people post their scores, weights, etc), hoping that this distance will help. I know it should only be me against me and that I shouldn't be comparing myself to others, but it's really hard not to.
I know everyone has different strengths and weaknesses. I know there are a lot of outside factors that come into play here. I know that the motivation should come from within. I've been trying to give myself pep talks since these feelings crept inside me for the last few months. To be honest, the only thing keeping me going to the gym is the simple fact that I do NOT want to gain the weight back or lose what I have achieved aesthetically.
The fire inside of me is gone and I don't know what to do to reignite it.
Have any of you experienced similar feelings? What did you do to pull yourself out of this slump?
I am in need of a serious pep talk.
I've been crossfitting consistently for about 18 months. I originally started crossfit to lose weight, but found that I really loved the whole process of learning things I had never done before and working towards getting better and stronger every day. In the process, I was able to lose 30 lbs. which helped tremendously with my self-esteem and confidence. I've been able to keep that weight off for a year which is more than I can say about any "diet" or exercise regime I've ever been on.
I still get to the gym 4-5 days a week and I am at the point now where I've more or less plateaued in every single lift and movement. In some ways I've gone backwards, which I didn't think was possible. I guess I thought that after 18 months I would be up to speed with all of the other athletes in the gym (aside from the elite ones, of course). I'm still consistently the slowest person in every class and I am still scaling at least half of the WODs.
I am seeing people who started around the same time as me or much later than me, getting their first chest-to-bar pull-ups or ring dips. It's frustrating to be left in the dust, still struggling on these movements.
Last year was my first Open. I was so excited but scared at the same time. I was so wide-eyed and hopeful. I loved the energy at the gym during those times and really thrived on it. This year, I didn't want to sign up. My one friend at the gym convinced me to, so I reluctantly did, but I am still teetering on the edge of not participating. But I know my gym will be programming those Open workouts anyway, so I might as well get a score. This is not the way the Open should be approached. I am dreading it. I know this is selfish to say, but I don't want to see or even read about how great my fellow gym goers are doing because it only makes me feel bad about myself and ashamed at my lack of progress.
I recently "unfollowed" a lot of crossfit related Instagram accounts and stopped reading the blog of my gym (where people post their scores, weights, etc), hoping that this distance will help. I know it should only be me against me and that I shouldn't be comparing myself to others, but it's really hard not to.
I know everyone has different strengths and weaknesses. I know there are a lot of outside factors that come into play here. I know that the motivation should come from within. I've been trying to give myself pep talks since these feelings crept inside me for the last few months. To be honest, the only thing keeping me going to the gym is the simple fact that I do NOT want to gain the weight back or lose what I have achieved aesthetically.
The fire inside of me is gone and I don't know what to do to reignite it.
Have any of you experienced similar feelings? What did you do to pull yourself out of this slump?
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I have been up and down in 5 years of doing this. I have fallen, slipped backwards, plateaued, over and over and over. I've gotten tired of not seeing the results that I want. When this normally happens I have to take a good step back and ask myself what it is exactly that I am wanting from this. Do I want to do it for vanity and the physique? Do I want to conquer my weaknesses and get really good a the gymnastics portion? Do I want to focus on the strength aspect?
The reality of it is, with all of the demands in my life: 9 hours of classes, a full time job, a new relationship.... it's difficult to expect that I will suddenly overcome everything that I am working on and become the next Camille or Annie or Julie.
Don't focus on what others are doing. Figure out what you want to get from this and then pull a coach aside and tell them what you are feeling. Tell them where you are wanting this to take you and tell them you need their help with it.
Perhaps, what you are needing is to not follow the programming that everyone else is on a day to day basis. Perhaps you need to follow the beat of your own drum.
What I have started to come to the conclusion of is that the day in day out grinding through the WODs everyone else did was not working for me. It was draining me of all my energy. I had to be brutally honest with myself... If I had to choose, would I choose to have the perfect body and be weaker or would I keep the body I have now and be crazy strong?
I chose strength and developed a plan to focus on it and began it as soon as the new year started. I am happier and more fulfilled with my workouts and can feel myself beginning to improve again.
But this is not the first time and it will certainly not be the last time that I face these hurdles and I'm not trying to kid myself into thinking that. My goals will change over time. I may make vast strides in the plan I have set for myself now, and in two years decide I want to focus on the look of my body instead and not realize it until I get into a slump.
Not sure if that helps, but you are not alone.0 -
^what she said. I have stepped back and tried to figure out a few target areas I want to work on (CF Total, mobility, weight loss) and tried to figure out a game plan that lets me work on them all over the course of a week.
If pull ups are frustrating you, figure out a specific plan to address it and put in a bit of extra work each time you are in the gym to get there.
I'll also add that I really don't compare myself to the other folks in the gym and probably won't for a very long time. I'm outright stronger than several people, but otherwise I'm at the bottom of the class/finishing near the end in just about every WOD.
I do CF for me, to make myself better. I really don't care that other's are better than me.0 -
I am sorry. Your disappointment reminds me of my come-back from injury, a torn ACL, about three years ago. You lose so much strength, so much stamina. rehab takes some time when you are a bit older, as I am. I was pathetic, and everything was really hard, where it once was enjoyable. I'd make some progress -- maybe -- and then I would get some niggling injury and it would set me back. EVERY freaking time!
But I suppose the question I had to ask myself in those times was: Would I rather not be doing it?
The answer, of course, was: No. I would not rather quit.
And, the next thing you know....you are off the plateau and making progress again.
Doesn't offer you much comfort now, but I think it is all just a part of the process.0 -
I am in a very similar position. I started in Dec. 2013 so have been at it 14 months. I have not had a PR in any lift since June 2014. I haven't learned any new skills since June either. The same things I couldn't do before like double unders, I still can't do. I was getting frustrated and took a month off in Sept or Oct. In that month I realized that I missed the community, missed the sense of accomplishment I get from having completed the WOD for the day and I missed the challenge of having something to work on to get better at. So...I went back. After a break I am way more motivated. I can't say that I have improved but you can't expect to see the beginner gainz forever. I am also the slowest in class. You have to look though at the ones doing it fast, unless they are elite most of them are also scaling. Good form and technique is more important that speed. I think some people just aren't built to go fast. I hope that someday I'll be fast but at this point I don't care. I just want to finish and to know that I did it with my best effort. Crossfit will always be there. Take a spin class or do bootcamp for a month or just try another box. If you miss crossfit you can always go back. Bootcamp or spin will help keep the weight off. If you aren't having "fun" then something needs to change. I put "fun" in quotes because I can't say that "fran" is fun but I do like the hanging out with other people and the encouragement that I get from going. Also you might want to take that break after the open because I do think you'll enjoy the team spirit and higher level of intensity that will come from doing the open WODs. Once that's done reassess and see if you need a break or if you feel back in love with crossfit. Good Luck!0
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one last thing....might want to look your diet again just to make certain you are giving yourself enough fuel for your workouts. Crossfit is HARD. Not eating enough makes itself known pretty quickly for me. My workouts suffer noticably.0
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Thank you all for you kind words of encouragement. It's definitely comforting to know that you have had similar feelings and experiences surrounding your crossfit journey.
I know it takes some serious mental toughness to get through daily WODs, but it seems I will need to muster up a lot more toughness to get through my slump. I will continue to remind myself that it doesn't matter what other people are doing. As long as I am putting in everything that I have on each day that I WOD, that is the best I can do.
I think a big issue of mine is that I tend to dwell on things, especially bad days and bad WODs. If I can move on from these thoughts and experiences when I step outside of the gym AND separate myself from constant reminders of how much better others are doing, I think that will make a huge difference.
Creating tangible goals, as you suggested is a good idea. I feel like there are so many things I need to work on so it'll be hard to focus on one!
I think after the Open, I'll look into giving myself a break. I'll see how it goes.0 -
I have heard that serious Olympic lifters sometimes go a whole year without a PR. That tells me that a big part of lifting is patience.0
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I think Oly lift PRs are more often a matter of form and practice/drilling than weight. one of our coaches was telling me he spent several months a few years back doing only hang/pocket work on his snatches and cleans and at the end of it destroyed his PRs from the floor. He said it helped him focus on an explosive hip pop, which still translated well when he went back to the "normal" lifts.0
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Chin up-it's hard not to compare yourself to others....but seriously-don't do it; instead-refocus your attention.
I've plateaued, gotten smoked by other athletes at my box, and formed some bad habits-which I had to undo, it happens, but don't let it derail you. Heck, I finally got my first strict pull up yesterday (started CF 18 mos ago)...there are new girls that got their first pull ups 3 months after they started.....talk about deflating, right?
Not everyone is built the same. So, pick a movement you struggle with and ask your coach to work with you on it.....usually it's technique/form that needs adjusting, practice it before/after your usual WOD for a few weeks and bam...you're on your way. The next time you see it in a WOD-you'll be more confident about the movement and probably get better results.
You can do this!
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From what I’ve seen, we all progress quite well the first six months and see more modest gains after that. Those that continue to progress are doing two things: 1) Really focusing on one aspect (strength or skill) and working on that on their own, and 2) really focused on what they eat.
WODs are not written to help us lose weight (that tends to be an early by product). They are written to push us in multiple modalities of fitness. If there is one you care about, focus on that one, get better then maybe pick another. I’m focused on stamina and pull ups for the next month (I plan to complete another tough mudder with my daughter in March). Then I will work very hard on the overhead squat and thruster so I can complete Fran within a reasonable time and get my level 1 CF certification by the end of the year.
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Found this article last night. I feel like it is definitely appropriate! http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lisbeth-darsh/you-dont-suck-as-much-as-_b_6587290.html0
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She worked at CF HQ until last year when they let her go with no explanation.
Her blog is full of stuff like that article.
http://www.wordswithlisbeth.com/
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Thanks so much guys. That article is a great read - and nice to know that so many others are having similar thoughts and feelings when it comes to this crazy thing we call CrossFit.
I never planned on competing or becoming "elite." I just wanted to be fit and healthy. But that competitive bug inside of me keeps knocking me down for not being the best (at least at ONE thing).
You all have given great advice. I think I am going to focus on pull-ups for now, since they have been my archnemesis since day one. I can kip a few of them, and I have 1 or 2 strict-ish, but that is about it. They come up so often in WODs (at least once a week) and it would be great to not have to scale them anymore. And those butterflies are just so damn pretty.
Yesterday, our WOD was a ton of kettlebell snatches, DUs and pistols. I scaled the pistols whereas a few other girls were RXing. Girls that started after me or around the same time as me. I tried not to get wrapped up in it - pistols are really hard. I left the gym feeling fine. I RX'd what I could and that's the best that I could do that day. You're right, I'll never be Camille, Annie, or Julie and I am OK with that. But I DO want to be better than I am, so here's to lots more hard work!0 -
Also, in regards to pistols, a really fantastic friend of mine posted this on facebook this morning and we were discussing a similar topic in Biomechanics yesterday.
Sometimes, people's bony structure just won't allow for certain movements. Genetics play a HUGE role.... http://www.theptdc.com/2015/02/why-people-must-have-different-squat-stance/0 -
I feel for you. I hear these things from a lot of Crossfitters. I feel this way about my own progress on pull ups. I am actually backing off of them for a while because all my emphasis on improving in them is undermining my enjoyment of CF.
Regarding making progress: I don't feel I would ever make progress beyond the first year in strength doing my box's programming. There just isn't enough time in an hour. I have been doing CF for 15 1/2 months. The only thing I really can't do is any kind of linked pull ups (CTB or otherwise), handstand walk, or muscle up. My deadlift has gone up 145# and I can do strict HSPU's, ring dips, pistols, etc. I had basically no sports back ground going into this.
People ask me how I made gains. I started Rx'ing weights in about month 3. I worked out to go to Crossfit. Seriously. I did strength training and did metcons only 3 days per week for the first year. I took olympic lifting classes on the side. I went in starting with a 200# deadlift having never done one before.
So what I am saying here is that often people who are improving in CF are doing a ton of work on their own and are using CF for conditioning primarily and/or testing. They may have also walked in with some type of experience (we have two former Olympians at my box and many college athletes). Some are genetically gifted with strength (my training partner and myself) that they just need to build upon. And sorry to say, but some have done steroids (I know some at my box--guys).
I still work on somethings and don't really get any better (kipping pull ups). It's frustrating. But, I've decided to back off my goats for a while and start to focus on my strengths so that I can enjoy CF more. I was getting really down. My coach and I have agreed that I shouldn't do the Open because I am getting CRAZY about my lack of forward movement on my pull ups despite my continued efforts. That being said, I took time off a stalled clean for about 4 months and worked on strength and snatch. I came back and in a couple weeks, went from 125# to 150#. I just needed a break and somehow things fell into place while I continued to get stronger. I'm hoping the same happens with pull ups.
My advice to you is to make a plan of a skill or two that you want to work on at a time outside of the WOD times and perfect that. Also back off your WODS and incorporate more of your own strength training (I use Wendler 5/3/1 on my lifts). Does your box have an oly class you can attend? That has really helped me as well. Then when you are stronger in a few months, come back and overlay the conditioning over your new found strength and skills and you will be amazed at the progress. You can get conditioned A LOT faster than you can get strong.
My CF coach and weightlifting coach don't agree on this but she (weightlifting coach) makes gains faster than anyone I know and she says, "You don't get stronger or perfect skills in WODS. You get stronger and perfect skills outside of WODS. You get faster on those things during WODS." I tend to agree.
A lot of this is deciding what you want. Do you want general fitness? Do you want to have fun? Look good in a bikini? Or, do you want to get super strong? Compete? Do advanced skills? If you want more than just general physical preparedness (GPP), you have to do more on your own. CF programming in most boxes is just basically for GPP.
That "You don't suck" article actually precipitated a long-needed discussion with my coach and me yesterday that I think is going to get my CF back on track. Read it!
Good luck and keep faith. I think you just need to freshen up your programming a bit. If you can't plan this on your own, find a coach or even a mentor at your box who is not a coach to help you. But treat that person's time well. I am always willing to help anyone who asks me how to get stronger and learn to Rx weights on WODs but I get frustrated helping people write plans and then they never do any of them. Having a Crossfit mentor has been invaluable to me.
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kelly_e_montana wrote: »
My CF coach and weightlifting coach don't agree on this but she (weightlifting coach) makes gains faster than anyone I know and she says, "You don't get stronger or perfect skills in WODS. You get stronger and perfect skills outside of WODS. You get faster on those things during WODS." I tend to agree.
This could not be more true.
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Thank you so much for the wonderful advice, Kelly. It's so great to hear about your journey.
You are absolutely right - the big question I need to answer is why am I still doing this every day? The reasons I started are not the same as why I keep going back day after day. Now that the weight is gone, my number one goal is to keep it off. It's a struggle to keep the weight off, still fit into the same clothes, and keep making strength gains. I suppose I could keep the weight off by simply doing lots of cardio, but to be honest, Crossfit keeps me from getting bored!
Is it fair to say that I want it all? Ha! I want to be strong AND look good in a bikini. I see so many girls at my gym who have the best of both worlds. They're crazy strong and they actually fit in their clothes. I guess my heredity doesn't allow for that.
The bottom line that I have come to accept is that I am OK with the fact that I may never get a muscle-up. I don't plan on competing in anything more than amateur events at my gym. Chances are my improvements during the Open may be outweighed by my setbacks and stalls. I need to learn to be OK with that and move on. If I want to put in the extra time, then I will likely see improvements, but you are right - one hour a day will not make a difference.
I've been ignoring it for some time, but it is time for me to dial-in my nutrition. I recently started taking fish oils, magnesium and vitamin D as part of my daily regimen (PurePharma). In terms of diet, I am careful most of the time but indulge when I want to. I am certain that this has an effect on my performance.0 -
^that has been the hardest thing for me to do consistently. Just starting Eat to perform and I think it's going to give me enough flexibility to really stick to the plan. I can do strict Paleo for a month or two at a time but I inevitably fall off and binge like crazy. I need to find that balance (80/20 or so) where I can occasionally have a treat and not let it take over.0
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Hi Ahslando, thanks for sharing (and everyone else). I too have experienced some of these same feelings. I started Cross Fit around 7 months ago, along with other girls at my box. Granted they are all 10 years my junior, they progress a lot faster than me.
At first, this was really upsetting. I didn't understand why I could't do what they were doing and lifting as much as they were. I was really upset to the point of wanting to quit Cross Fit, although I love Cross Fit!
Then I realized how much extra time they were putting inside and outside the box. I would go to the one hour class and leave because I have a family and other obligations. Some of these young girls would be at the box 1-2 hours after their one hour class or come in early to practice skills. Some of them would run a few miles in the morning and then come to a Cross Fit class in the evening.
After realizing this, I put some of my accomplishments into perspective. Because I have accomplished a lot since starting Cross Fit; I can lift more (although not as much as I wish) and I can do more of the movements than I could before (like T2B, although I wish I could scale sometimes because it's real hard...lol), and best of all: my clothes fit me different! (in a good way
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So for me, it's about giving all I got when I'm doing a WOD and I'm at the box, and realizing if I want to progress more, I need to put more work in; which I am working at because my time is limited.
I signed up for Spartan Sprint for May in Austin, TX, which I will complete with those young girls who started when I did 7 months ago. So, all is well, it's just a slow process for me, and I've become okay with that.
Keep your head up and good luck!
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Ashlando, we all go through it...how you get through to the other side is the hard part. Over the past couple of weeks I have seen my fire start to burn out a bit too, fighting to work around injury, losing motivation around making good choices with nutrition, making time, etc. I often think that maybe I just need to be a little more "mentally tough" and then it would all be easy. But it won't, because I am a physically and mentally strong, motivated person, that sometimes just needs to reset. So that is what I am considering the last week, my reset.
Now that I got that out of my system, its time to get back to it, because I have big goals for 2015, and I bet you do too. Sometimes these huge goals we set for ourselves really overshadow the progress we are making and that we should celebrate. When I first started crossfit, I would hit HUGE PRs, 20-30# increase on a 1RM, so when that started to decline, and PRs were only 5# I didn't celebrate with the same vigor. That last 5# was harder fought than any other PR I may have achieved on a lift up to this point, and the next 5# will be harder than the last.
So whats my point... Pick something, one goal, and then break it down. For example, I want to be able to back squat 300# by the end of the year, this goal is totally achievable for me because of the plan I'm going to put in place. I'm going to squat 3x a week, in any variation of the movement (front, overhead, goblet, zelcher). By adding this variation and volume to my routine, I know I'm going to naturally see improvements in my overall strength for my other lifts as well, because it all relates. Also, don't beat yourself up for feeling like you aren't progressing the same as others you started with. This is your journey, you will get out what you put into it. Never let how far you think you need to go yet cloud the vision of how far you have come.
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