A ::little:: rant because I am a ball of stress :-)
garber6th
Posts: 1,890 Member
The past few weeks have been on my nerves. I am in danger of losing my job - I work in the oil industry and the drop in oil is nice at the gas station but our clients don't spend on projects for us to do. I had a job interview last week, on Monday I was told by the recruiter I didn't get it, then the next day they called back because, oops, they sent me the email they meant to send to the other candidate, I actually got the job, and now I am on pins and needles waiting for the official offer letter. The guy I started dating who thought I was "impressive and attractive" dumped me because the loose skin on my body was unattractive to him. Oh and then there was the whole getting denied by my insurance for skin surgery situation. Next week I am going to NY to see my family, most I haven't seen in well over a year, and that causes me stress because I feel like I need to keep my guard up. I know they are happy I lost weight and I am healthy, but family can be your best friends or worst critics, and a couple of my family members are deep into the whole "fat acceptance" movement (don't even get me started on THAT!), and I am sure I will get a side glance or two. If I do get the new job, I would have to start the day after I come back. So... yeah, I feel a little overwhelmed. I am not using food to make me feel better at least, but I have been showing the elliptical at the gym who the boss is. With all this BS, I can say I still have a lot to be grateful for, because this journey has taught me how to deal in a healthy way. OK rant over. Thanks for your time, you can return to your regular programming now :-)
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This is great! Not all your stresses, but the fact that you can rant and deal with all of it in a positive way that doesn't involve a dozen donuts (that's what I would have done before surgery!).0
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Well! You have so much on your plate right now where to start...lol I would say to you first and formost....BREATHE! lol Your already pefect whole and complete. As far as the Job goes they will be lucky to have you and I am sure you will flourish in your new digs. Just think your life is truly changing for the better. Now as far as the dating game goes and the skin issue. SKIP Them! You know your continued health is so much more important. I look at it this way and yeh I am not normal Its what is in the inside my dear that counts. The outside will always have what I call blemishes as we put it out there. The inside where the heart and soul are is what is important. And the family thing well if they are not supportive well bless thier hearts that they are so perfect that they can judge...lol
Bottom line here is you are the only person who is in control of your feellings and your life. Take control of it and live the way you want to live. You may find you actually love yourself enough to allow yourself to be easier on yourself. I am a firm believer in limiting the amount a power I give to others to make judgements on my life and how I should or should not live it. And if the date is not accepting of who I am as I am right now then they can go their merry way as I wouldnt want to waist my time or thiers. Life is too short as it is. I choose to live it more fully than allow some one to come between me and my happiness.
I can go on for hrs here but I think you get the drift!
Be yourself Be happy and " This above all to thine own self be True"0 -
I love the venting! That is too much to have to deal with at once but, because that's how life goes, good for you for venting and feeling and not eating. Go home and own your hotness. You've earned it!0
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WOW! You have a LOT going on right now-- no wonder you are feeling pressed. Mercy! Good for you for being proactive and seeking a job---and you got it-- which is wonderful, bu also a little scary because starting over in a new place comes with a whole new set of challenges.
Re: the family-- people will ALWAYS judge. Always. It is a condition of humanity- just how it goes. It can be very hard to not care about the judgments of those closest to us- and yet, since those judgments have nothing to do with YOU and everything to do with THEM, you can release yourself from concern about them if you like.
Kudos to you for taking care of yourself and working out the stress with exercise. WAY better choice than overeating. And thank you for being willing to share your feelings here-- it helps me to know it is possible to feel upset (stress, overwhelm, etc.) and not eat over it!
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Check into cash pricing for the surgery, Vanderbilt quoted me $24,000 for arms, boobs, belly and thighs-cash up front. I thought the price very reasonable but I am not ready to do it yet.0
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Mangopickle wrote: »Check into cash pricing for the surgery, Vanderbilt quoted me $24,000 for arms, boobs, belly and thighs-cash up front. I thought the price very reasonable but I am not ready to do it yet.
Thanks, I will! I know the guy I went to wants about 19K for skin removal, tummy tuck, and lower body lift. Seems pretty high to me so I am going to shop around a little.
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Wow, you deserve to more than rant! As others have stated you have a lot on your plate. The only thing that I can add is that when you go to NY, walk in like you own the place, be your merry self and be proud of what you have accomplished thus far.
Congrats on the job I am sure you will be an asset to the company.
As for Mr."Wonderfull" good thing you found out what an "A" hole he really is sooner rather than later.
As for the denial for surgery, appeal, appeal ,appeal. The squeaky wheel gets the grease.
Keep your chin up, Kudos for not eating your emotions. Well done! 0 -
I am not using food to make me feel better at least, but I have been showing the elliptical at the gym who the boss is.
That is an awesome testament to your progress and journey!! Life throws some major curve balls but to keep your health and fitness as a priority is awesome. I still struggle with that. Things will work out --- and be better than ever expected.
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Like others have said, good job hanging in there with all that stress.0
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YOU are a chick with her "crap in a pile", (meaning you have it together and have the tools to keep it there)! Sorry about the Dbag. One thing I've learned in my recent dive into the dating pool... You gotta go thru a lot of duds before you find a stud! The rest will work out. New jobs and new challenges are exciting! Family... Eh. That's hard, but at least it sounds like you don't have to interface with them on a regular bases. I have a couple family members I see holidays\birthdays that give me sideways glances too. They tend to believe that you shouldn't change what God gave you. I believe God gave us great surgeons and good medicine and uses these things to make us whole! Difference of opinion is all. Hope you get the skin surgery thing figured out. YOU keep on keepin' on!0
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I hear you on the dating thing. In addition to some not to bad loose skin, I have some bad scars in odd places that mean I wasnt pleasant to look at naked already. I have been dumped twice in the past three months because - while I was "interesting", "fun", "attractive" (with clothes on), they couldnt handle the rest. Its humiliating EVERY time. I feel like I should tell them up front, but was hoping knowing me would make it not matter... Since its nothing even surgery will fix, I just have to keep dragging my butt back out there, despite being overwhelmed with feelings of being unlovable... ugh... Yeah, my treadmill is getting a pounding lately as well Trying to think of this as playing the lottery - have to buy a million tickets in the hope of winning... sounds hopeless but people do it all the time... -
- Sorry you have to deal with all this, but sounds like you are stronger than me... you will be ok 0 -
Wow, I'm not sure there could be anything left to add to your stresses. (but I knocked on wood for you, just in case) As for the "fat acceptance" thing, if that makes them happy then more power to them. In some cases, I think it is more of an insecurity defense. Don't let them rain on your parade. You have worked hard to get healthy and you should shine. As for the guy, he would be the type that would not want to go out with you when you were heavy and not want to go out when you are thin but with loose skin. Though his rejection may have stung a little bit, he is totally not worth your time or efforts. There are much better guys out there and you will find one. You can't do any more than you are doing: breathe, put one foot in front of the other, don't eat your emotions and continue to take out your stress at the gym. That is success.0
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I hear you on the dating thing. In addition to some not to bad loose skin, I have some bad scars in odd places that mean I wasnt pleasant to look at naked already. I have been dumped twice in the past three months because - while I was "interesting", "fun", "attractive" (with clothes on), they couldnt handle the rest. Its humiliating EVERY time. I feel like I should tell them up front, but was hoping knowing me would make it not matter... Since its nothing even surgery will fix, I just have to keep dragging my butt back out there, despite being overwhelmed with feelings of being unlovable... ugh... Yeah, my treadmill is getting a pounding lately as well Trying to think of this as playing the lottery - have to buy a million tickets in the hope of winning... sounds hopeless but people do it all the time... -
- Sorry you have to deal with all this, but sounds like you are stronger than me... you will be ok
Dating. Is. Hard. But decent ones do exist! Dated for 9 months like it was a job, got hurt by one I really liked, kept at it and finally found one I wanted to hang out with for a while. To say I was petrified of judgement about loose skin would be an understatement, but He. Was. Amazing. Neither of us has a perfect body at near 50 years old, but he made me feel beautiful from the first time he touched my scarred, wrinkly belly and it's continued for 5 months so far. Hang in there. It's worth it!0 -
I hear you on the dating thing. In addition to some not to bad loose skin, I have some bad scars in odd places that mean I wasnt pleasant to look at naked already. I have been dumped twice in the past three months because - while I was "interesting", "fun", "attractive" (with clothes on), they couldnt handle the rest. Its humiliating EVERY time. I feel like I should tell them up front, but was hoping knowing me would make it not matter... Since its nothing even surgery will fix, I just have to keep dragging my butt back out there, despite being overwhelmed with feelings of being unlovable... ugh... Yeah, my treadmill is getting a pounding lately as well Trying to think of this as playing the lottery - have to buy a million tickets in the hope of winning... sounds hopeless but people do it all the time... -
- Sorry you have to deal with all this, but sounds like you are stronger than me... you will be ok
Dating. Is. Hard. But decent ones do exist! Dated for 9 months like it was a job, got hurt by one I really liked, kept at it and finally found one I wanted to hang out with for a while. To say I was petrified of judgement about loose skin would be an understatement, but He. Was. Amazing. Neither of us has a perfect body at near 50 years old, but he made me feel beautiful from the first time he touched my scarred, wrinkly belly and it's continued for 5 months so far. Hang in there. It's worth it!
Thanks, and glad you seem to have found someone... I have been at it only since Thxgiving, but not been really fun...0 -
The funny thing is, I am seeing someone (not seriously) who is much younger, and he doesn't seem to care about the skin or scars or any of it. Seems that when the age of the men I date is closer to my age, the more shallow they are. Go figure.0
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@garber6th You are amazing! Thanks for always sharing what is really going on with you and all of the little nuances that accompany this surgery and the new life that we all must adjust to. I am a stress eater...STILL. So thank you for demonstrating just how stressed of a situation you are going through and sharing that you are not turning to food. That is a huge inspiration to me
I wish you luck, but I know you have the persistence to overcome all of these obstacles on your own. Have fun in NY and congrats on the new job!!!0 -
I can understand the dating problem, I'm glad not to be single. But my life experience tells me to keep looking. The best answer I've heard is your going to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a Prince.
My wife is heavy and over 60 like me but I've always told her that I love her just the way she is. To me she is the perfect person and I would not change anything about her.
The world has a lot of shallow Hall's out there and they all have a excuse too thin, too heavy, too many scared area's, wrong skin texture, wrong hair color... On and on. The excuses don't matter any one will have the same outcome.
Don't take this crap personal just move on.
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I hear you on the dating thing. In addition to some not to bad loose skin, I have some bad scars in odd places that mean I wasnt pleasant to look at naked already. I have been dumped twice in the past three months because - while I was "interesting", "fun", "attractive" (with clothes on), they couldnt handle the rest. Its humiliating EVERY time. I feel like I should tell them up front, but was hoping knowing me would make it not matter... Since its nothing even surgery will fix, I just have to keep dragging my butt back out there, despite being overwhelmed with feelings of being unlovable... ugh... Yeah, my treadmill is getting a pounding lately as well Trying to think of this as playing the lottery - have to buy a million tickets in the hope of winning... sounds hopeless but people do it all the time... -
- Sorry you have to deal with all this, but sounds like you are stronger than me... you will be ok
Ugh. make that 3 times. sigh. Hope you are doing better garber6.0 -
Garber6, Hugs and prayers coming your way! I am in awe that you are so strong! To be going through all that and the only thing being hurt is the Elipticle? Girl that's awesome strength and restraint! As for the guy? Honey he sounds like one of those guys looking for a real live Barbie doll, perfect body and an empty head. So not worth your time! And your family? Well I do think we need to accept heavy, skinny and everything in between because we are all God's children after all. You are getting healthy, not trying to make a statement on their body size. Remember how insecure you felt at your biggest? Well they probably feel that way too and your success just makes them feel that much worse about themselves. Feel bad for them, but don't take their words or their looks personally, because it's their own self worth thats at work here, not anything you've done.
You, my friend, ROCK! You have accomplished much, take control of your life and are responsible for yourself. Don't you dare let anyone make you feel inferior in anything. You even had the wisdom to go get a new job before the old one tanked! If that's not smart, I don't know what is.0 -
pawoodhull wrote: »
You, my friend, ROCK! You have accomplished much, take control of your life and are responsible for yourself. Don't you dare let anyone make you feel inferior in anything. You even had the wisdom to go get a new job before the old one tanked! If that's not smart, I don't know what is.
^^^^^THIS!!!!^^^^^0 -
You are all SO awesome, you have no idea. The support I get here means more to me than you know, because I know you are all going through a lot too, and you know the struggles of dealing with "stuff" in a new way post surgery, and you GET it!! I wish I could hug you all!
P.S. I know I thought I had quite enough BS, but this morning I discovered a fraudulent charge for $85 against my bank account, so days before I am going to travel, I had to cancel my debit card and I am crossing my fingers I get the new one before I leave. Seriously though, when it rains, it pours!!0 -
Incredible bad luck on the bank fraud. Good luck resolving it. Stay strong- Family can really wear you down.pawoodhull wrote: »Garber6th, You are getting healthy, not trying to make a statement on their body size. Remember how insecure you felt at your biggest? Well they probably feel that way too and your success just makes them feel that much worse about themselves. Feel bad for them, but don't take their words or their looks personally, because it's their own self worth thats at work here, not anything you've done.
Excellent point!0 -
P.S. I know I thought I had quite enough BS, but this morning I discovered a fraudulent charge for $85 against my bank account, so days before I am going to travel, I had to cancel my debit card and I am crossing my fingers I get the new one before I leave. Seriously though, when it rains, it pours!!
My fault. When I said I "knocked on wood for you" it was my office desk and that is faux wood. Sorry.0 -
Here's the skinny….you ROCK! You have taken ownership of your health and your life-I'm so sorry for the stress and ugly stuff going on right now but so incredibly impressed and proud for your approach to it all. I am encouraged by your progress and accomplishments and look forward to rejoicing with you on future successes!0
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