Hi, my name is Candace and I am disgusted with my body. My original run on MFP was from June 2011 through September 2012. During that time I lost about 90 pounds, and I'd lost about 20 before joining the site. I weighed 343 pounds the morning of 3 September 2012, the day my grandmother died. Beginning the day after her death I completely fell apart. The healthy eating and exercise routine I had struggled to develop and firmly get into disappeared. I dove head first into the emotional eating pool and I didn't really come up for air again until just recently. 99% of my food intake over the past 9 months has been Taco Bell, McDonald's, Arby's, and pizzas. I have gained back 80 pounds.

Summary of my life:

I was born 23 May 1986 to traditional/religious English parents. I had a nice childhood and wasn't a fat or even chubby little girl. In December 2001 I was kicked out of the house by my father when I came out lesbian and said I had a girlfriend.

Two months into my homelessness I was beaten, raped, and got pregnant. I was released from hospital to my father soon after and lived there through 2.5 months of begging for consent to abort before I miscarried. After that I moved in with my girlfriend Jen and her mum, and I started rapidly gaining weight.

I was about 150 pounds just before my rape and by the end of 2002 I'd probably reached at least 220 pounds. By the end of 2003 I was easily 300 pounds. My weight gain became less rapid but I kept gaining through mid-April 2011 when I reached my heaviest of 446 pounds. I started losing a little from April through June and then found MFP at the end of June and I had some success until August.

On my birthday in 2011 Jen had proposed to me, but I don't know why because in August 2011 she left me for a skinny woman. From August 2011 to the end of the year I didn't do well, except for starting MFP's LGBT group after the groups feature launch in November. (power to the rainbow!) I started drinking heavily again and eating loads of fast food. In January 2012 I put myself in a rehab program. In March 2012 I came home from that program about 30 pounds lighter, and kept losing weight consistently through 3 September. I deactivated UnwrappingCandy a few days after my grandmother's death, and gave control of the LGBT group to a kind friend. I gained about 50 pounds from September through October. It came on so fast I physically hurt most of the time. I kept gaining through May 2013 (present), and now I quite ready to start conquering it again.

My goals:

I would like to be about 170 pounds by 20 September 2015 (my grandmother's 87th birthday). That gives me 882 days to lose 252 lbs which means my average loss rate needs to be 2 lb/wk. I will probably lose 3-4 lb/wk for the first year, which is realistic given my size. . I don't want to be a stick figure, and I don't want a bunch of sagging skin. So, part of my goal is to avoid most of the sagging skin issue by keeping with a weight lifting routine throughout my fat loss. I say fat loss because I don't really want to lose weight, I want to lose fat and gain lean mass.

Interested in being friends?

Follow the link, enter some kind of a message, and then click 'add as friend'. http://www.myfitnesspal.com/friends/new/44500695 BUT before you do please consider the following: I am a liberal, lesbian, atheist who does not tolerate any form of homophobia, transphobia, racism, or sexism. :flowerforyou:

I am looking forward to meeting and supporting some awesome new people.

Cheers,

Candy