I have a couple ..

If the man is in the military and his status is "separated" .. typically they aren't really. Their wife is just in their home State with the kids. lol We have an Army base close by and have learned that the hard way.

If they have drinks in every picture and their arm around a lot of females .. no thanks.

If anything says "prefer not to say" .. um .. no thanks. Just say it. What are you hiding.

After we meet .. if they have more than one cell phone (other than a work one). I dated this one guy and then we just kind of transitioned into friends and he has one cell specifically for his dating apps and then his "real one" and then his iPod had a texting app for booty call girls.

I'm typically not worried about being killed, lol.. it is more that they have multiple women, or heaven forbid a wife.

Oh for sure .. on the income part, even the profession part .. I'm talking about the do you have kids, do you want kids, do you drink, do you do drugs, do you have a car .. lol.

Oh I can't stand those possessive ones!!!! There is a level of cuteness, then there is a level of *run as fast as you can* .. lololol

I don't like the ones that can't be bothered to make one small statement of themselves .. so they just write .. ask. or tell you later. that bugs me for some reason.

Overly possessive before you've even met once.

YES. Getting mad because you didn't respond fast enough! Really?! It's a dating app lol you're not my boyfriend!! Or asking for my phone number the first day of messaging. Then saying "Guess not" when I don't respond. UGGGHHH!!

MissingMinnesota wrote: »

Wow didn't know the prefer not to say for kids was a bad thing. I have that since it is something I really just don't want to put in black and white on the form.

All their pictures are group pictures of them partying.
If their first picture isn't of them but of a car, pet, cartoon etc.

This would not raise a red flag for me. It would draw my attention especially if it's something that interests me. For an example, something related to Doctor Who, but that's just the nerd in me talking. However, if all her pictures were of things like that and no real pictures of herself, or all group pictures, i.e. unable to distinguish who she is from the group, then yeah, that's a red flag for me.

Height is another one. I don't care if she has a preference for tall or short, many women do, it would be how she expresses that in her profile would be a another red flag for me.
For an example "Please be 6 ft+! Men 5'11 and under need not apply."

kelzang wrote: »

-If his profile shows he has kids, I know he must have a totally different lifestyle, life experience and set of priorities from me. If he has kids, a romantic partner is never ever ever going to be #1 in his life. I don't need yet another relationship where I make him my top priority and he ranks me someplace in the lower Top Ten!

I don't think I could do it, either. It's good that you know that will be a problem for you and avoid it. It's never cool to get involved with someone who you know has kids, and then demand to be put before them. Not a good look for anyone.

I've had some weird online "dating" experiences. I met a girl on facebook who wanted to have skype sex but didn't want to meet. I met another lady who revealed all kinds of intimate things about herself, but didn't want to meet. I met another who had an ex-husband who was stalking her, she was addicted to pain meds, and wanted to spend hours on the phone even though I couldn't hear a word she said because she spoke too soft, and would occasionally nod off from the effects of the pain meds. Then, I met another girl, again on facebook, who lived nearby, had a good job, seemed to have herself together, but she became very preachy and kept offering unsolicited and unwanted "advice" on how I should live my life. In each case, the initial online contact was very mature and without any warning signs as far as I can recollect. However, my relationship history is not a good one, so I may be missing a crucial aspect of discerning an emotionally stable individual from a lipstick-smearing wait-for-you-in-the-dark-with-a-flashlight psychomaniac

If their first picture isn't of them but of a car, pet, cartoon etc.

HAHA not that it's a red flag, just REALLY annoying....I can't stand when guys post ANY of the following pictures without them in it: cars/sports team logo/cats/dogs/shoes/just your chest/bicep or a child. Unless you are in the picture, I DO NOT WANT TO DATE EITHER OF THOSE THINGS!!!!! I don't care if you wear Jordans. I hope I'm not sitting across from a dog or cat when we go out to dinner. I want to date YOU. If I'm attracted to you overall, I don't CARE what your chest looks like. No! Just my opinion but I would NEVER EVER in a million years post a picture of my kid on a dating site! Are you serious?? At least blur the kids face out. There's an app for that.
/rant

To me if their first picture isn't of themselves they don't have confidence in themselves to attact someone so they have to use a prop. They need to move the other picture to some where else in the line of pictures.

OMGYES.

^^Yes! Anyone talking about what they're not looking for? That's not a positive.

Ohhhh, I wouldn't say mine are 'red flags' but there definite things people do that make me not want to date them.

Like grammar. I'm flexible with this, I play fast and loose with the rules of grammar myself and was an English Lit major. But I've also been in a relationship with someone who was dyslexic. He knew it was an issue so he would go over anything he wrote multiple times. Minor grammar issues are fine - but spelling and punctuation issues all over the place? Nope.

People who state we will be a good match and then list their 'dating resume' as if they are a good candidate for the position, 'boyfriend', i.e. I'm a good catch, have a good job, work out, know how to cook, etc.' While I'm happy for them that they made it to adulthood and learned life skills, that shouldn't even need to be said.

And any message that just refers to my appearance.

For me, I have it very clearly stated in my online dating profile that I do not do drugs and do not want anything to do with them. I also noted that I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it, it's just not for me.

I have had guys message me who put in the message that I sound like such a great person and they really want to get to know me, and love my profile. Then I go to read their's and they answered "Do Drugs" with often or socially. I'm like seriously - did you even read, or just look at my pictures? It drives me nuts.

Also I hate when guys message me and we message back and forth but if I don't respond within 5 minutes they're messaging me again and again and again. I'm like really - I do other things and I don't just sit on my computer all day.

I also was talking to one guy for quite a while, and he just wanted a casual thing. I was fine with that, so I suggested we text instead of being online (we had been talking for like 6 months online) and he said he doesn't want to give out his number, so he suggested KIK and I said sure. We talked for another month on there and then he wanted to meet up. I said I'm not going to meet up with someone who is this evasive about their number. I'm not meeting up with someone who won't even give up a cell phone number. There's something else going on there. I get not giving it out to everyone but after 6 or 7 months, that seems odd to me. He got mad and said he was just playing the whole time and just wanted to see how far I would go . . . I was like uh, yeh ok because that's believable.

photo_kyla wrote: »

Is there some magic way to easily spot the married ones???
I was just talking to this guy (profile said single) for 5 days and over 300 long messages of platonic conversation. We really hit it off. I was trying to find an old childhood friend of my dad's online and thought "hey, why not google him?"
It turns out he's married and has been for 4 years. Never once did he mention anything about her, even in conversations about family and relationships.

Homenum Revelio Marriageitis!!! or for us that didn't get to go to Hogwarts, I guess Google is the next best thing. Sorry that he turned out that way. /=

Oh my .... the stories I could tell would make one wonder why on earth I didn't know and why in the hell I continued to try. lol

* income greater than $100,000 required - really?
* drinks regularly - awesome for the local VFW
* drunk driving and admitting it ... with their kid in the car ... Mother of the Year award on the way.
* height - must be taller than _____
* avoiding a question brought up in conversation - hiding something
* pictures without a "date stamp or obvious decade it was taken" - likely has morphed into a troll over the years
* getting upset that I found them on social media - once again, hiding something
* wants to keep in close contact with a former BF - hasn't moved on.
* very religious - to each their own
* prints off emails to analyze them for hidden meaning - yes, I kid you not
* women who have professional photo shoot pics just for the dating site
* showing too much skin in pics online - attention *kitten*
* hiding an addiction or physical condition
* serial daters ... loving the chase or being chased.
* hearing, "my cell isn't working right" .... avoiding calls or texts frequently
* separated
* and worst but not least, women who don't really know what they want. For most, I can tell in the 1st 10 minutes of meeting if I'm interested and I try and be upfront. Why waste their time right? However, since I know what I want and have no issues telling someone I really enjoyed their company, that seems to freak some of them out and I never hear back from them. Ok, why date then? lol ... which makes me wonder if they are either serial daters or chasers.

carbons2k wrote: »

If all the pix are of her and her friends and I have to sift thru the pix and 'figure' out which one she is. Maybe not a red flag but pretty damn annoying.

urban camouflage bro

- "Looking for Mr Right" : I don't know what I want but I am a simple fool and I am manipulated by others all the time. Yes, you can have some of that too.
- "No drama": I will bring enough in your life: my friends call me drama.
- "Treat me like a queen, I will treat you like a king": I am high maintenance, I will b!tch all the time and I will complain loudly and make scenes. Thanks for the money, it was nice knowing you.
- "I'm crazy!": I'm boring.
- "My passions/sports/activities": I can't put drinking and hanging out with friends, right? So I shall list the things I've done once or twice last year.
- "A picture of me in Peru": from 3 years ago. I haven't travelled since. I don't look any younger either.
- Only face/blurry/hipster-filter pics: your imagination will disappoint you.
- Girly pictures with girly girls and selfies: I'm superficial and I won't understand all the words you will be using. LOL xxx

I love reading between the lines to see what people actually mean.