Dating someone much younger or older

smurfette75
smurfette75 Posts: 853 Member
I'm about to be 40 this year and just started dating after a 5 year hiatus. Because I look younger than I really am lately I have been approached by younger guys....much younger (in their early 20s). So for now I am just dating and see what happens but I don't know that I can take any of them seriously.

What do you think about the age gap?

Replies

  • flimflamfloz
    flimflamfloz Posts: 1,980 Member
    edited June 2015
    The main concern is that each of you will probably be at different stages in life.

    While there isn't any harm in having "fun" (recommended even), if you're looking at the "one serious LTR" I'd be wary of a large age gap.
    Even if things seem to start well then over time some issues may arise because of the age gap.

    Potential problematic topics are children, house, marriage, ... The usual crap really. Depends on what you want from the relationship too.

    If they are in their 20s, they still have plenty of opportunities to fail relationships and any delay/failure won't cost them much (as young men).
  • smurfette75
    smurfette75 Posts: 853 Member
    You said everything I was thinking! So yeah for now it is all in fun...I think they are too young and haven't really experienced life. Right now I'm not looking for anything serious, but eventually I do want to marry. So dating until I find the one I guess, like everyone else.
  • FitForL1fe
    FitForL1fe Posts: 1,872 Member
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  • Sunshine_Girlie
    Sunshine_Girlie Posts: 618 Member
    I'm in the opposite boat. I'm a little bit younger than someone I am interested in. He's 40 and he's worried about the age gap. He has never voiced it directly to me, but he has to a mutual friend. I don't typically go for someone 12 years older than me, but there is an extreme amount of priorities and other issues in common. Whatever works out for you, go for it.
  • sewerchick93
    sewerchick93 Posts: 1,440 Member
    The main concern is that each of you will probably be at different stages in life.

    While there isn't any harm in having "fun" (recommended even), if you're looking at the "one serious LTR" I'd be wary of a large age gap.
    Even if things seem to start well then over time some issues may arise because of the age gap.

    Potential problematic topics are children, house, marriage, ... The usual crap really. Depends on what you want from the relationship too.

    This right here. I was in a 1 year relationship with a guy who was 24 yrs older. The more serious the relationship and the more we started introducing each other to, and interacting with our families, as opposed to just the 2 of us, the more difficult it became because of the age gap.
  • taco_inspector
    taco_inspector Posts: 7,223 Member
    edited August 2015
    Kinda reviving an older thread here, but ...

    Sorta like what @sewerchick93 posts, if you've got a heavy load of family and/or friends that judge/react based on preconceived norms, then you'll be trying to justify things to people that have already narrowed their thoughts enough to preclude reasonable success. Some governments and societal standards have some age-based access restrictions that can be a bit awkward as well in kinda 'extreme' cases; a few more of these things for the lower-aged folks (alcohol, age of majority, etc).

    I've worked these both ways (never more than twice or half my age, but close), and they can be a bit awkward with some families & friends. Like all relationships, sometimes compromises and understandings must be reached (again, friends & families included).

    In my world, it's always been more about the interpersonal value & future value than worrying about other's perceptions and biases.

    That said, the "half your age, plus seven" guidance seems incredibly broad when you really think about it. You can read that as 86 though 33 for my creepy oldness, zoiks, or 27 through 66 for the OP, which makes "early-20s" a bit off the list, but who really cares?
  • Belle8312
    Belle8312 Posts: 2,151 Member
    I am 32 and wouldn't date anyone younger than 25. I have a brother that is 25, and he's still out having fun, trying to figure out who he is and what he wants to do. And he's not serious about anything. But at the same time, I remember when I was 25 and had close friends that had bought a house and had a steady job, so it all depends on what path they are on in life.
    If they are just into going out and having fun and partying, but you're only looking for some fun, then go for it!
    If they are doing that, and you are looking for something serious, I would consider looking for someone a little older, or at least someone who has their life a little bit figured out.