Workplace struggles
weeziebeth
Posts: 168 Member
Has sexually inappropriate behavior always been this prevalent in the workplace and I was just protected behind my obesity? There is flirting, there is good-natured banter that very well may be inappropriate, and then there is 'unwelcome unwanted what makes you think that is even close to appropriate'? Ugh, just ugh. It is difficult enough dealing with the interior work that needs to happen to make the exterior work lasting and healthy without having to face creepy creepsters. I have lost a good bit of weight. I think I look pretty good. I know I am happier and more engaging. I do not dress in a provocative or suggestive manner and still do not think I dress in even a very body-conscious way. I am well-endowed and it is a challenge to keep the girls restrained/retained/contained pick your term but I do. It just makes me want to crawl into a pint of ice cream and hide under the covers. Thank you for indulging me in my meltdown. Its been a difficult few days.
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I'm sorry you are facing that, its not acceptable...I have no wisdom to share just support
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I am so sorry you have to put up with that. Is there anyone you can talk to? HR? I know some companies are very serious about eliminating harassment. There was a guy at my old job who would be inappropriate at times, mostly as I lost weight. He thought it was cute and funny. I thought it was creepy and gross. I sat him down and put him in his place, but why should I have had to? I think it is prevalent though... and yeah, it's probably happening more to you now, because you do look good and when we lose a lot of weight, we are already under the microscope, you know? Eyes are on us. I hope there is a way for you to resolve the situation. You shouldn't have to feel uncomfortable.0
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If it is pervasive I suggest you begin documenting it. You should not be made to feel uncomfortable. Think about calling them on their behavior by stating that their comments are inappropriate and you wish them to stop.0
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I would definitely speak to a manager or Hr person to address this issues. That's ok0
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My suggestion is you address this with the person. If it continues, address it with HR. I think part of losing weight and getting healthier is learning to be seen and to be heard, not hiding behind the weight. We need to be able to stand up for ourselves and not let anyone else take away our personal power. Don't let this person make your work-life uncomfortable.0
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It's prevalent. and I'm definitely unhappy about shedding my fat invisibility cloak. Last weekend I got the first random guy telling me to smile. When I ignored him I got the "Well then *kitten* you, *kitten*!" Retort. I'm starting to remember the harsh side of not being obese from my younger years. Ugh. Does it ever end? Maybe when I'm 80?0
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blairmundy wrote: »It's prevalent. and I'm definitely unhappy about shedding my fat invisibility cloak. Last weekend I got the first random guy telling me to smile. When I ignored him I got the "Well then **** you, *****!" Retort. I'm starting to remember the harsh side of not being obese from my younger years. Ugh. Does it ever end? Maybe when I'm 80?
I'm 51 and it hasn't stopped. I wonder what would happen if we treated men they way they treated women?
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loriloftness wrote: »My suggestion is you address this with the person. If it continues, address it with HR. I think part of losing weight and getting healthier is learning to be seen and to be heard, not hiding behind the weight. We need to be able to stand up for ourselves and not let anyone else take away our personal power. Don't let this person make your work-life uncomfortable.
I agree. Unfortunately in some workplaces it is prevalent.0 -
@?' I could have kissed him! But that would have been inappropriate too
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This is not just a female issue in the workplace. Just this morning I had a female colleague get a little to familiar and I had to tell her to knock it off.0
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I blogged on here about suddenly not being invisable anymore. True as the weight comes off, in my case at least, I became more approachable because I began to feel better about myself. People in general have been friendlier and even folks I don't know (men and women) speak to me, but I haven't had the issue you have. But, having worked in HR I can tell you this is illegal and most companies have policies against it. My advice is to document what's happening that is making you uncomfortable. Share a copy of that with the person responsible. Give them an out like saying "I don't want to think you meant to make me uncomfortable but . . .(insert whatever it was they did). Allowing them to save face makes for an easier work place if they realize you don't like this and stop the behavior. If after that convesation they continue, talk to your supervisor and be prepared to work your way up if you don't get help. Even if it's not a co-worker, most companies will protect their employees from customers too. Your initial reaction is normal and it sounds like you've got some good support from co-workers too. Good luck.0
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Just checking back in and I have to say I love the new photo. Keep standing up for yourself !0
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Just checking back in and I have to say I love the new photo. Keep standing up for yourself !
Thanks for checking in and thanks for the compliment-I kinda like it too! Things have been, shall we say, non-problematic in the last few weeks. The day I wrote about involved an escalation throughout the day involving several individuals. The most egregious encounter and the most frustrating involved an individual that is a bit of an odd-duck in the best of times...brilliant but different. My encounters with him over the next few days however were entirely professional and I am hopeful that will continue. Did I say anything to him directly? No and that may have been right or wrong, I don't know. But there have been no further awkward encounters.0 -
Weeziebeth, I too love the new pic! As for talking to him, maybe he picked up on the issue or maybe someone else did and said something. Either way, speaking to him directly is a call only you can make.0
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