Who did you tell?

angel073079 Posts: 15 Member
Have you shared your WLS with others? How private do you keep it?


  • jove102
    jove102 Posts: 68 Member
    I didn't want to share to much with anyone but it's hard to keep it to myself when I lost 90 pounds in 6 months...so when people ask I tell them..I don't want to think I've gone anorexic or something lol
  • Thaeda
    Thaeda Posts: 834 Member
    People at work knew because I was out for awhile, but I don't usually tell people I meet now. Some of my close friends know. You don't have to tell anyone if you don't want to- it is really no one's business.
  • tat2cookie
    tat2cookie Posts: 1,899 Member
    I'm an open book. When people ask me what I've been doing I say I had wls and I've been working my butt off. I've learned that it opens up a conversation or they just move on their merry way. I have nothing to hide and I'm not embarrassed.
  • rpyle111
    rpyle111 Posts: 1,066 Member
    I have been very open at work and among my friends. They all saw how hard I was working in preparation for the surgery and I hope to be a good example to remove some of the stigma from the surgery. I have had a number of people come to me and talk about relatives who have gone through the process (both successfully and less so) and I like to believe that I helped them understand all that goes into it even if they haven't had that kind of conversation with their relative.

    I didn't get much negative response at all. So many more are happy that I took this step for myself. I had many people tell me that they had become worried about me as my weight kept climbing.

  • duffslove
    duffslove Posts: 125 Member
    i only told close family and a very close friend or 2 in the beginning, not even some of my best girlfriends know that i had wls, they've commented on how great im looking,but haven't actually asked how I've been doing it, but they do also know I've started working out at the gym, so maybe they just assume that it's all because of that. i actually got upset with my husband who is in the iowa national guard and works for them when he took the few days off for my surgery and recovery that he told them that i was having wls. now I've realized that i have a few more people in my encouragment corner, they ask him about me and how I'm doing regularly, and let him know i can come work out with them anytime i'd like. (and i may take them up on that in a few more lbs lost, still a lil too shy about myself to go working out with a bunch of buff soldiers..lol) anyway, I've noticed that it's def easier now to tell people that i had wls, this weekend i told a few more people in my extended family reunion party that had asked
  • loriloftness
    loriloftness Posts: 476 Member
    About 1 week prior to surgery I posted it on my FB page. I wanted everyone to know what I was doing and why. I have also been very open since surgery. When people ask me about my weight loss I tell them I had surgery and now am working out. I am happy to say I have not had any negative responses from anyone. I agree with Rob, I feel like being open about it helps to reduce the stigma of WLS.
  • pawoodhull
    pawoodhull Posts: 1,759 Member
    Once I made the decision to get the sleeve I told my family, close friends and most of my co-workers. We lose so quickly at first everyone either thinks WLS or they think you're dying, so no point in trying to be coy about it. I also think it helps keep me going when I get ready to just give up (like right now in my current 9 month stall and slight regain) as in everyone knows about the WLS so regaining is a huge public failure. As for the rest of the world, I'm usually very open about it. I figure if I can help just one person leave obesity, it's worth any negative comments. Of course I haven't really received any negative comments either and it's been 4 years. If anyone thought I would fail or even now still thinks I will fail, they've kept it to themselves.
  • garber6th
    garber6th Posts: 1,894 Member
    I am very open about it. I told my friends, my family, my coworkers. Everyone was really great and so happy for me that I was going to be taking control of my health. I really didn't get any negativity, just questions out of curiosity. I don't tell everyone I meet now that I had surgery right off the bat or anything, but if weight loss or surgery does come up in conversation, I will talk about my experience. The only time it's awkward for me to talk about it is when I am dating someone new. It isn't "if" I am going to tell them, but "when". That usually sorts itself out. I also agree with Rob and Lori that being open about it helps reduce the stigma attached to WLS. Everyone is different though, I believe everyone should only share on a level that they are comfortable with.
  • BringingSherriBack
    BringingSherriBack Posts: 607 Member
    I only told my immediate family before I had the surgery. Only because I didn't need or want anyone else's negative comments or feedback. Afterwards when people asked how I was losing weight, I told them I had surgery and how it was a tool that I used with diet and exercise to get the weight off and keep it off. I made sure they knew it was not an "easy out" and that I still did the work.
  • rpyle111
    rpyle111 Posts: 1,066 Member
    I have had a number of people who I know only through seeing them weekly at Mass ask about my weight loss. I am probably 50/50 in terms of going into surgery details. One of these folks asked me if I would be willing to talk with her sister who is considering the surgery and I was happy to share story with her and her husband, who were looking into it together.

    I felt a direct benefit to my openness, as I was able to talk with someone who was looking for help but didn't know anyone to talk with.

  • joysie1970
    joysie1970 Posts: 415 Member
    I'm an open book, I told my family, friends and co-workers. Immediately after surgery when I got home I posted it to my FB page - I figured people were going to see the changes in pictures they might as well know what is going on. The support I got was amazing - I had a few negative comments, I chalked it up to lack of education - gave me an opportunity to spread some good word! The support has been great motivation on days I don't feel great or like I am progressing fast enough, but I agree everyone needs to share what they are comfortable with <3
  • sinderstorm
    sinderstorm Posts: 225 Member
    Right now I'm private about it with much of the world, but by no means is it a secret. My family, and my best friends know that I was going to do it/have had it done. I'm not advertising that I did it, but I also won't lie if asked directly how I've lost 45lbs in 2 months. And I'm sure at some point it will become common knowledge, but like with when my DH and I were going through infertility treatments, we only shared with those we knew would be supportive in the beginning. We didn't need anyone bringing any negativity into something that was so emotionally charged and hard while we were in the trenches of it. Now that our girls are here and it is behind us, we find it much easier to talk about and share our story than it was 6 years ago. I'm finding my VSG journey to be very much the same- I'm willing to share far more now that it is done and I'm being successful.
  • mycatsnameisbug
    mycatsnameisbug Posts: 118 Member
    edited June 2015
    At first I told just immediate family and 3 very close girlfriends. Now, I am pretty open about it. It's kinda obvious for when I eat with people. Also I am open to help others-especially some of my plus size friends who have also always struggled with their weight. I guess for me coming from a place where NOTHING was permanent preop I always felt like a failure because I couldn't do it on my own. I kinda feel like I'm leaving a big piece of the puzzle out when I say I'm working out and eating right... Both true- but I also have another tool in my arsenal making it much easier. There really should be less stigma around bariatrics!

    If someone is genuinely interested or may benefit from the truth, I tell it. And if they judge or get rude (which I admit rarely happens) usually I say something super personal about them and they back right off lol. Suddenly people don't wanna get personal when it's about them ;)

  • foxymitchell
    foxymitchell Posts: 50 Member
    I only told mom, sister, my kids and of course my husband! But I'm sure my big mouth mom and sister prob told a few people they know with the "don't tell her I told you"!! Lol. But no one else, it's just not their business!
  • gardendoc
    gardendoc Posts: 64 Member
    I initially told a couple of folks outside of family and got a real nasty, snide response. So I have been selective but as the weight as come off rather dramatically and been asked I have explained in a more one to one setting. Overall everyone has been very supportive and encouraging as friends had been worried about my health.
  • bikrchk
    bikrchk Posts: 516 Member
    I told my family friends and close coworkers beforehand. After, I decided to share whenever it was relevant, (when discussing health and fitness, weight loss, etc). I don't much care for the opinions of others if they're not on my side in this battle for my health, BUT being open helps me stay on track, (they will NOT see me fail) and has given me countless opportunities to mentor others and be a living example of the benefits of WLS. I've had VERY few negative conversations and as I said, I don't take other people's opinions personally on the subject. They can't possible understand if they haven't lived in my skin (for some, 50 extra pounds is debilitating... I lost close to 100 depending on the day) and they won't be any less ignorant if someone doesn't step up and talk about it with them.
  • pennysteed
    pennysteed Posts: 80 Member
    I am 11 days out from surgery and so far only my parents, hubby, and two friends know. I have not even told my kids yet. We are simply going to tell the eldest that I am going in for another scope and that they found something and fixed it. The youngest will be at scout camp so he will find out once he is home. I do not want him to worry about me. One friend (cousin) had gastric bypass so she is in my corner. I am not telling anyone else at the moment because I do not need the negative comments, especially from my other friends who really do not understand the scope of my struggle with weight loss.
  • goodlife1206
    goodlife1206 Posts: 42 Member
    Initially I told my family and close friends. I know that my co workers knew why I was off work, but had little comment. But lately I have been getting a lot of comments, compliments and second looks. Sometimes people don't know me. It is obvious that I have changed radically and mostly women ask what I have done. If I don't feel like sharing, I say that I have a new lifestyle now, eating and exercising differently. All true. If I feel close enough to the person, or know they have struggled with their weight like I did, I tell them I had surgery. I have had very little negative comment. I had to tell one women it was my body and my decision and I was very happy with my new lifestyle. I have had a couple women "friends" who are so jealous that they no longer talk to me much or include me in social activities. It is their problem, not mine. I actually feel sorry that they are so unhappy with themselves and am glad to know that they are not true friends. This has been a great opportunity to get healthy and feel great. That is enough for me.
  • Athollass
    Athollass Posts: 39 Member
    edited July 2015
    As I was preparing for surgery I only told immediate family, a few close friends and my boss. Now that I am at back at work co-workers ask me if I enjoyed my vacation while some notice and ask about the weight loss. So, I've been more open sharing at my discretion. Some are very supportive but some feel compelled to tell me about an acquaintance who regained weight. That really bugs me because it is as if they are condemning me to failure. I figure they don't understand the struggles we go through with weight loss. Nor do they understand the reasons we make the choice for surgery. Perhaps they need others to stay obese so they can feel better about themselves. Who knows why people make thoughtless comments? I simply reply by telling them about no longer requiring B/P meds, how my A1c is now 5.2 and how great I feel.
  • thinnerrugger
    thinnerrugger Posts: 25 Member
    I hate talking about this, with the exception of those who have experienced this. I told my family AFTER I had it done. Then after losing 80 pounds, many people commented and were concerned that I was sick. When questioned head on, I tell people "a little bit of surgery and a lot of hard work." and I try to leave it at that. I mind that family and friends have this barometer when they see me; "Is she up?" "How does she look?" "You've lost weight." It's always been about the weight with me and I'm hoping I can sustain this weight loss and enjoy my success and not gain the weight back for once.