I will stick to a healthy lifestyle (food an exercise). This isn't done when I hit my goal, it is for life. I am not worried about any gains since I am doing a lot of weight lifting, but if I do gain from being off track, I will not let it get more than 10 lbs. I will continue to monitor food even after goal. It is too easy to let that slip.

The further out I get from surgery, the less anxiety I have about regain--- but only because I have been maintaining for about 4months which is WAY longer than any other time when I lost weight. A lot has changed for me on this go-round of weight loss as compared to prior attempts when I lost and immediately began regaining. So to answer your question, I am positioned less in fear and more in belief. In the past, I "stuck to a diet" because I hated being fat. I loathed myself. I criticized myself. I beat myself up, convinced my body would betray me if I failed to remain ever vigilant. This time? Not so much. I am learning to love me. I am tuning in to how I feel when I eat foods that are less nutritive than others. I am mindful about how crazy my emotions get when I eat sugar and how important it is for me to quiet my Inner Critic and treat myself with kindness and love. I have learned to genuinely LIKE veggies (CRAZY, right??!!). I am learning to like the "lighter" feeling I have when I eat to just being satisfied instead of eating to "FULL". All of these things are new and different for me.

I cannot say that I will never gain weight back. Maybe I will- but every day I keep the weight off I gain confidence it is off for good. And every day I am learning new skills in self care to help keep me on the road of health and wellness. I am learning how to ask inside about how to nurture and care for me in ways besides eating. I am learning to say "no" when asked to do things that would put undue stress on me. I am learning to pay attention to how I feel- hunger, fullness, fatigue, stress, etc. and am exploring the impact of those feelings in relationship to food.

There are still times when I just say "Eff it" and dive face first into a bag of chips or cake or whatever--but such occasions are getting less and less frequent. When they do occur, more often than not I am gentle with myself- no beating myself up, no purging with exercise, no crazy caloric restriction-- just a gentle nudge back on track. This is VERY different for me. So, as I read over my answer to your question a LOT has changed for me as compared to other times I tried to lose weight and I am doing a lot of things very differently. Still, it is a process and I have lots left to learn.

Thaeda, as usual, you have hit the nail on proverbial head. Thank you for always being willing to share your journey.

As I am losing I am getting rid of clothes that are too big and I won't let myself go larger again.

That has been tripping me up lately. I'm smaller than I ever was, and dropping sizes. Kinda hoped my 12s were gping to fit for summer, but they are falling off. I am 7lbs from goal, then will allow a 5-10lb fluctuation because I'm hoping to gain muscle. But....i find myself questioning whether Inshould get rid of the 12s or keep them, just in case. I don't think 10 pounds though will get me in them, so I should just get rid of them.

boomerkae wrote: »

Thaeda - that was wonderful.

I've had a few eff it moments. But they are nothing like the past. I'm talking a 1x1 brownie at a party, when I would have had 4. Or getting a 3oz low fat froyo with fruit rather than loading my bowl with chocolate full fat and topping it with a ton of candy. Or ya know, eating a while quest rather than a whole. It's strange....but change for the best!

Thanks. Maybe put your 12s in a box and stick them in the garage or something? Nothing saying you have to totally be rid of them- do it when you are ready. I hear you about the "eff it" moments-- although I can still go a little crazy, I have to keep in mind that the way I "binge" now looks NOTHING like it did pre-surgery.

Thaeda wrote: »

The further out I get from surgery, the less anxiety I have about regain--- but only because I have been maintaining for about 4months which is WAY longer than any other time when I lost weight. A lot has changed for me on this go-round of weight loss as compared to prior attempts when I lost and immediately began regaining. So to answer your question, I am positioned less in fear and more in belief. In the past, I "stuck to a diet" because I hated being fat. I loathed myself. I criticized myself. I beat myself up, convinced my body would betray me if I failed to remain ever vigilant. This time? Not so much. I am learning to love me. I am tuning in to how I feel when I eat foods that are less nutritive than others. I am mindful about how crazy my emotions get when I eat sugar and how important it is for me to quiet my Inner Critic and treat myself with kindness and love. I have learned to genuinely LIKE veggies (CRAZY, right??!!). I am learning to like the "lighter" feeling I have when I eat to just being satisfied instead of eating to "FULL". All of these things are new and different for me.

I cannot say that I will never gain weight back. Maybe I will- but every day I keep the weight off I gain confidence it is off for good. And every day I am learning new skills in self care to help keep me on the road of health and wellness. I am learning how to ask inside about how to nurture and care for me in ways besides eating. I am learning to say "no" when asked to do things that would put undue stress on me. I am learning to pay attention to how I feel- hunger, fullness, fatigue, stress, etc. and am exploring the impact of those feelings in relationship to food.

There are still times when I just say "Eff it" and dive face first into a bag of chips or cake or whatever--but such occasions are getting less and less frequent. When they do occur, more often than not I am gentle with myself- no beating myself up, no purging with exercise, no crazy caloric restriction-- just a gentle nudge back on track. This is VERY different for me. So, as I read over my answer to your question a LOT has changed for me as compared to other times I tried to lose weight and I am doing a lot of things very differently. Still, it is a process and I have lots left to learn.

Someday, I am going to buy your book. In the meantime, I think I should just start saving your posts. Sometimes it feels like you know me better than I know me

I'm with @Thaeda, I have effit moments, (probably too often). The difference is that now they are "moments" rather than daily occurrences that lead to week or month long binges. If I go TOO far my sleeve, or "shock collar" corrects that behavior in some uncomfortable ways, (puking or dumping) and it's not likely I'll repeat the behavior again in the near future. I've maintained within 5 pounds of my lowest for the last year and the longer I maintain the less I stress about it. If I gain a bit, I tend to compensate for a few weeks by adding a few minutes to my daily bike ride, giving up alcohol and cutting back on junk until things return to where they should be. I upped my strength training to daily (just 2 or 3 sets of 10-15 push ups and 50ish crunches) but I seem to struggle less with regain when I'm doing that. Apparently muscle mass DOES matter! I'm not really logging much these days, but if I feel really stuck I'll return to logging everything for a while. That's typically enough to get me back on track these days.

I had my first DEXA scan post surgery as well and wish I had started during my pre surgery time to monitor the far versus muscle loss. The place I had mine (Eastern Michigan University) will only test every 6 months so I will be going back soon to see what my last 30 pounds and resistance training increase has done.

seaghdha1072 wrote: »

Some members here don't track their calories after they have been in maintenance mode for awhile and keep their weight stable without tracking. I don't think that will ever be me however. I think for me it would be too easy to eat more calories then I realize. I will never stop weighing myself at least weekly if not more often. That way I can tell if I'm slipping and gaining weight back. I also am never going to be a drive thru/fast food junkie ever again.

This is all me! I might add I will never again buy bigger because my clothes are too tight. I will have my (as Thaeda calls then) effit days, but it will be a day or even mere hours. Never again will I allow myself to just give up. I will no longer consider myself a failure if I give in and eat something I know I shouldn't on those effit days either. I am still trying to get below 200, but if I don't I am still a success as long as the weight I have lost stays off. Failure is going back to 386 pounds.

pawoodhull wrote: »

This is all me! I might add I will never again buy bigger because my clothes are too tight. I will have my (as Thaeda calls then) effit days, but it will be a day or even mere hours. Never again will I allow myself to just give up. I will no longer consider myself a failure if I give in and eat something I know I shouldn't on those effit days either. I am still trying to get below 200, but if I don't I am still a success as long as the weight I have lost stays off. Failure is going back to 386 pounds.

Pat, you are RAGING AWESOMENESS!!! You are an inspiration to me and OODLES more folks here on this board. YOU ROCK!!!

Well said everyone!! Sorry I have been MIA for some time now. Thaeda, Rob and Pat you are my inspiration and I greatly appreciate all your support, kind words and sharing.

Great post!