Some thoughts about maintenance...
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Thaeda
Posts: 834 Member
I had a thought while I was out walking this morning about maintenance...I tend to stick pretty well to my way of eating for a week or two, then I "indulge" (even if it is only for one meal or part of a meal) and feel like I "failed". Totally unnecessary, I think. NO ONE is perfect. EVER. There are going to be times when I eat just the way I am supposed to-- and I will feel fabby! There will be times when I eat crappy--and will feel not so hot. "Normal" people (as in non-dieters) live this way all of the time.
A little over a week ago, I was bemoaning my consumption of a good deal of chocolate one day to a dear friend of mine. I was feelng very sad over my youngest having moved away to college and the loss of my cat and was "grief eating". My friend said "Who cares how much chocolate you eat today? You won't be doing it again tomorrow, so what's the big deal?". I realized that is how naturally thin people think and act. They do not freak out when they overeat, because they know it won't be like that every day. Dieters (like myself) often react by going into "oh my God what have I done" mode and start with the shame and guilt and such that KEEPS them eating crappy. I know you all are familiar with the drill:
"Well, I ate cake yesterday so I may as well have that ice cream and those chips today and then maybe on Monday I will get "back on track" [whatever the hell THAT means]
OR
"I already 'blew it' (again, whatever THAT means?)- it's just evidence I have no will power and I am a failure as a person- may as well just eat myself silly since I am such a loser"
OR
"I am going to allow myself one (or two...or three) more days of 'freebies' and then I am really going to cut way back on calories and 'get serious' about my program"
I know this because I have LIVED IT!! What I am working on instead is to just declare a do-over and start eating well whenever I decide I want to feel good. And no self-pummeling for ANY food choice. EVER. Full stop on that. It does not help. It just makes me feel bad and then I want to eat more. YUCK. No thanks. So that's my story and I am sticking to it.
Much love!
A little over a week ago, I was bemoaning my consumption of a good deal of chocolate one day to a dear friend of mine. I was feelng very sad over my youngest having moved away to college and the loss of my cat and was "grief eating". My friend said "Who cares how much chocolate you eat today? You won't be doing it again tomorrow, so what's the big deal?". I realized that is how naturally thin people think and act. They do not freak out when they overeat, because they know it won't be like that every day. Dieters (like myself) often react by going into "oh my God what have I done" mode and start with the shame and guilt and such that KEEPS them eating crappy. I know you all are familiar with the drill:
"Well, I ate cake yesterday so I may as well have that ice cream and those chips today and then maybe on Monday I will get "back on track" [whatever the hell THAT means]
OR
"I already 'blew it' (again, whatever THAT means?)- it's just evidence I have no will power and I am a failure as a person- may as well just eat myself silly since I am such a loser"
OR
"I am going to allow myself one (or two...or three) more days of 'freebies' and then I am really going to cut way back on calories and 'get serious' about my program"
I know this because I have LIVED IT!! What I am working on instead is to just declare a do-over and start eating well whenever I decide I want to feel good. And no self-pummeling for ANY food choice. EVER. Full stop on that. It does not help. It just makes me feel bad and then I want to eat more. YUCK. No thanks. So that's my story and I am sticking to it.
Much love! 0
Replies
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Well said, Thaeda! Having spent just about my entire life on a diet of some sorts, I know this game all too well. However, since having the VSG, my way of thinking has started to change. Having one's stomach 80% removed definitely makes you think about your choices. I know that I did not undergo a major surgery only to go back where I started.
I am 2 years and 3 months post op and it gets HARD! You get hungrier and crave things you shouldn't. And yes... things happen in life. We eat our emotions and stress. We are human! I have days where I will snack and graze, basically eating whatever. But I know that just because I'm in maintenance doesn't mean that this is where I'll stay. It requires work. The one thing I am still learning is to NOT beat myself up over poor choices. Beating myself doesn't benefit me in any way. I remind myself that I have this TOOL to help me... I just have to USE it.0 -
Awareness is the key. We all make some imperfect food choices on occasion but we now have a limiting tool and the ability to adapt behaviors. I still weigh almost everything (work and home), log everything into my meal diary and have linked my FitBit and MapMyRide apps to help track exercise.
Everyday is a new start. You are really doing great!0 -
Good points Thaeda! Since WLS I no longer "eat my emotions". I have no idea why this changed, but when emotional for any negative reason, I tend to not want to eat. My attitude sucks at that time and it's very common for me to say that I know I'm not getting my water or nutrition in but I just don't care, the scale's still not moving anyway even if I do get everything in, so why bother. Like you, I've had to learn to let myself off the hook and get back on track later that day or the next. Beating ourselves up is counter-productive, always has been. Your attitude, thoughts and honesty are wonderful! Thanks for posting.0
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Thaeda, we have been so conditioned for so long that we freak out! It starts with one thing then we go on and on because being a food addict we just think like that! In gym one girl said she works out so she can have ice cream, I work out because I want to, and ice cream is a trigger food for me so I don't eat it. I am at my goal so I should be able to have it once in a while, but I am afraid to eat it because I don't want to gain. AHH the life of a fat girl, even a former fat girl.0
