Introduction
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Hello everyone!
Amber.....wisdom teeth are a pain in the neck...or mouth, lol. I was lucky that I never had any. My son didn't have any either but one of my daughters had 4 wisdom teeth and had to have all 4 extracted because of overcrowding/spacing. My other daughter had 2....and when they erupted, she waited too long to have them removed and they messed up the spacing in her bottom teeth. She did have them removed recently, but now she will probably need braces to straighten out the damage they did.
btw....I have family up in Orchard Park, NY. They posted pics of a little snow a couple of days ago. Did you get snow up there already?
CJ.....that's one of the things I'm worried about with my daughter. She is set to start her masters program in January....the company she works for is paying for it. But, if she is going th rough this breakup, I am really concerned that she will not be able to give her classes her full attention. Don't want her to start taking classes only to not do well.
Aliza.....I want to know too! How did you ever end up in Israel? We lived in Puerto Rico for several years...but it was with my husband's work. I was a teacher down there too. When his contract was up, I didn't want to come back to New Jersey, but we had to. Still miss it. What an adventure it was!
So.....from the party I had for the kids on Sunday carving pumpkins, etc....to the 2 girl scout meetings I had this week.....I am NOT doing good as far as eating is concerned. I have not been counting calories for 5 days now...and I am not bothering to do so today because I am going out to dinner tonight. Hopefully I will get back on track tomorrow. I had really hoped to be below 180 for Halloween.....so there is still hope for that, but not if I keep eating with abandon, lol!
Watching my son's 2 little kids today at their house. While his little girl sleeps, I continue to search pinterest for ideas for Christmas gifts for senior citizens. All the girl scouts in our town go to a senior residence and sing carols for them in December. I've been running this for year now. We bake cookies and bring gifts we've made and/or assembled for all the seniors. Have lots of good ideas....now just have to narrow down what I'm going to have each of my troops make.
Ok......back to watching kids. Little one is still sleeping, 4 year old brother is building with legos. Oldest brother will be getting home from middle school in 30 minutes...and then I have to run to pick up the 7 year old grandson from his after school program. After dinner out tonight, I should make it home at some point.
Take care all!
Lin
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Hi ladies-
Just checking in really quick. I've had a super busy week with out of town appointments nearly every day and evening obligations, as well, so I haven't had much time on here. Today is my first day with nothing on my calendar and, wouldn't you know it?? I woke up with a big swollen gland, pain in my jaw and an ear-ache. What the heck?? I still managed to do a little exercise this morning, clean the bathroom, and bake some cookies but I didn't make much progress on my lengthy "TO-DO" list like I had hoped.
Hoping to feel better real soon since my little grandson will be down visiting from Washington this weekend. I've barely seen him much this summer, so I miss my little man.
Time for some ibuprofen and a nap. I'll try to check back in later.0 -
Well, yesterday (Friday), I still wasn't back on track with the eating. But I woke up in a great mind-set today and determined to get back on track and lose some more weight. Didn't weigh myself though. Don't want to see my weight is up on the scale and get discouraged. So I figured I'd weigh myself after a few days and then see where I'm at.
Chilly morning here in NJ. 36 degrees when I woke up. 2 grandsons slept over last night. Their dad took the older brothers camping with Cub Scouts last night, and my daughter had to go in to work at the hospital early this AM. As soon as the boys get picked up, I'm going food shopping. I have 3 cats that woke me up this AM complaining because we are out of their dry food. ;D
Also have to start doing some research on cruises to Alaska. My husband told me he wants us to go on a cruise to Alaska next May. Earlier this year we did a trip out to the Grand Canyon, 4 corners, Monument Valley and Las Vegas. We arranged that vacation to work around the conference husband had to go to in Vegas. Anyway, not sure if I want to go to Alaska. Not that I don't think it would be nice vacation.....just that it would be a bit pricey...and I really want to get my kitchen redone. Actually, I want to re-locate my kitchen to an adjoining room and turn the current kitchen into a butlers pantry. Have to talk to husband about this. Maybe we can go somewhere else AND get the kitchen started. Time to turn the charm on, me thinks. lol
Have a nice day, ladies.
Lin0 -
Just checking in to say hi.
Nice 30 hour vacation on the beach for my husband's 65th birthday on Thursday/Friday. All the kids (except the one who lives in Chicago of course) came to the hotel for dinner. The first time in ages that we've gotten together without any of the grandchildren. A nice change of pace.
Managed to stay on track with my calorie intake and even got in an hour on the elliptical machine in the hotel gym.
No change in my weight. But I've managed the 3 pound goal for October. Yay! Thinking about a November challenge.
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Broke 160...barely. Weighed in at 159.2 this a.m. Yay! I'll take it. 7.8 lbs. in 36 days.
I'm fasting this morning before going in for blood tests. Throws everything off because I'll be in town afterwards with no access to a normal, healthy breakfast. Hmm.
Went to a Deva Premal, Miten, Monrose concert last night with a friend. Very mellow.
In the past I've had this quirky thing I do when I lose weight. When I'm feeling successful I go off my diet. Sort of like a fake self-confidence that it'll be okay now and sort of like a self-destructive thing. Yikes! Sure hope I don't do that this time. If I feel the urge coming on...what?!? Lock myself in a closet? Any suggestions? Does anyone else do that weird thing?
Off to the vampires
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Hooray for you for getting below 160! I've been doing good...not great....with eating. But I'm holding steady in the low 180's. Busy day watching grandchildren. Back at it again tomorrow..and the next day, and the next day....lol. I know the feeling you're talking about. I get it when I've been successful at losing weight for a few months....and then I give myself a break from counting calories and days turn to weeks...then months....then slowly the weight creeps back on. I think the thing for me is that counting calories helps me lose weight...but it's just not something I want to do the rest of my life. I need to figure out what is going to work long term for me...and make it happen.0
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Yay for you doing so well with your eating. Great is relative. If you're feeling good about it, I'm sure it's good. And holding steady rings so much more pleasantly to the ear than...gaining.
Entering what I've eaten and counting the calories appeals to my (very moderate) OCD. I like to see it in black and white in front of me on the screen. Of course, when I've fallen off the wagon I also don't keep a food diary. But I hear ya' about wanting to find something to do for the rest of your life that sort of flows. I'd love to hear what you settle on.
I bought that new elliptical machine and it clocks 300 calories burned only after 70 minutes. The program on here has an hour of elliptical work burning over 600 calories. I'm going to read the instructions so I can raise the incline but, other than that, have had to readjust my calculations because I figure the machine's stats are more accurate. My knees were very happy with an hour and seem to be complaining about the additional 10 minutes a day. I'm still sane enough (barely) to realize that my knees are more important than burning calories so I'm going back down to 60. I may do only 30 minutes tomorrow, which is the day I teach 3 yoga classes. Yoga doesn't burn too many calories but my 63 year old body is exhausted after teaching 3 classes.
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Where is everybody?0
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I'm here!
I've been busy as usual. Eating has been spot on though. Keeping around 1200-1400 most days...but yesterday I only had 800 for the day and I wasn't even hungry last night.
So I did my sleep test night to see about the sleep apnea. My husband is going to drop off the machine at the drs today for me. I have a follow up visit for next week Tuesday afternoon to get results. Then next Wednesday AM I see the cardiologist. I guess depending on whether I have sleep apnea or not, cardiologist will decide if any other tests are needed. Haven't had another afib episode since the first 2 back in late September. I really think they were caused by stress, although the doctor did tell me stress shouldn't cause them for the most part. My older daughter going through this separation...she has caused so much stress for me and the rest of the family. She is still having a hard time letting her husband go. Like my other daughter said just this AM, when her sister's husband said he wanted out of the marriage, my daughter decided to distance herself from everyone in her family except her husband who she should have kicked out. Oh well. I'm just giving her plenty of space. The few times I have spoken to or texted her...I haven't really said much and nothing about her marriage situation. I do see her kids atleast once or twice a week....they seem fine. Yesterday was the oldest granddaughter's 18th birthday. I had sent her "money cake" gift to their house the week before since I didn't know if I would see her or not for her birthday. Well...she did come over last night with her boyfriend and brought the "cake" over and opened it at our house. She was all happy and talking about her SAT scores and what colleges she is applying to. She's really smart, but she's been really cranky the past several months. I blame it on the stress in their house plus the fact that so many seniors in high school go through the added stress of worrying about what colleges they are going to apply to, and grades, etc.
So..I'll be watching 3 of the little grandchildren today over at my youngest daughter's house. I brought Girl Scout stuff to do to get ready for meetings next week. Starting to think about the holidays that will be here before you know it. And......going to ask the cardiologist next week if I can get back into exercising like I want to. I used to have an elliptical years ago. We eventually got rid of it. My treadmill is over at my daughter's house now but it was getting older. I do have a recumbent bike but it bothers my knees when I use it so I don't. I think I would like a new treadmill if I was going to get anything new. Maybe I'll tell husband and we'll get one once the cardiologist clears me for exercise. Wish I had more time to go to a formal exercise class too. I would so like to try Zumba. But I can't commit to the days that Zumba classes are available nearby.
Have a nice day all! Lin
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Friday night.....I've had 3 really super good eating days. Good as in low cal and good choices. I will weigh myself in the AM. I had been hoping to be under 180 by Halloween. I know I'm close, but I think I'm still going to be in the 180's. I'm crossing my fingers though....and toes. Hope everyone has a great weekend! 0
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Well....I did it! I weighed in at 179.8 this AM! Made my goal of being under 180 by Halloween! A few days ago I didn't think I was going to make it. For at least half of October, I ate like I was on maintenance instead of trying to lose weight. But...I made a big effort the past several days to reach my goal...and I did it!
It seems I do better when I set mini goals for myself. Even on days when I don't bother counting calories, I still have my goal date in the back of my mind. So....next goal date will be Thanksgiving which is less than 4 weeks away. I'm thinking to be under 175 by then would be a good goal. That would be losing just over a pound a week....but I should be able to do it if I really work at it. Wish me luck. Not sure what I' doing today. Husband is working today, and although I have a few things to do around here there is a craft show up by my mom (an hour away) that I may want to go to. Think I'll go shower then call my mom and see if she wants to go with me. Have a good day, all!
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Great Lin! Under 180 by Halloween. Feels good to meet a goal, right? Mini-goals - great idea!
I'm hanging on to maintenance. There just hasn't been time to get on the elliptical and won't be today either. Looking forward to getting back to it tomorrow.
Don't know how you manage with all your grandmother time. I'm drowning in it and would like to do less but can't figure out a way to pedal back.
November challenge - Looking at mini-goals.
1. Lose 3 pounds
2. Write 3 hours a week
3. Use my camera at least two days
4. Stick to 1200 calories a day
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Hi ladies! I have to say that I am quite jealous of all your grandma time. I would LOVE to see my little grandson, Rivers, on a more regular basis, even if that meant every day. I did end up seeing him briefly last weekend - for a whole hour and a half. They spent most of the weekend with her family. I was disappointed, but tried to make the most of it. We met my son and family at the pumpkin patch late Saturday. They are always running late to everything, so I shouldn't have been surprised when they didn't call until late afternoon, and didn't get to the pumpkin patch until 4:20, and the place closed at 5:00. Since it was so late we did get in for free (a savings of $8.00 per person) so we did a rush job of petting zoo, hay ride and pumpkin patch. Rivers was kind of crabby and very clingy to his mom, but he eventually started running around and enjoying himself. I took a bunch of pictures, so at least I was able to capture the cute moments. We sat outside the place and visited about another half hour and then off they went back home to Washington.
This past week I did manage to get quite a bit of exercise in. I went for a long walk with a friend on Monday (pouring rain but we soldiered on), then to aquasize class Tuesday, Thursday & Friday. I also swam laps afterwards for about 20 extra minutes. So, I was fairly surprised to have my weight be up on Friday's weigh-in. Friday I was 161.4, up several pounds! I was pretty disgruntled as I had been very happy to see the 150's finally. I normally only weigh once a week, but I couldn't help myself. I weighed again this morning and I'm back down to 158.6. That's quite a fluctuation in just 2 days, I thought. It's so dumb how the number on that scale affects my mood!
Lin- I can identify with what you're going through with your daughter. Currently, my youngest son has completely distanced himself from our family. His wife is blaming ME for something my son did and he is siding with her, so as to deflect the blame from himself. She is very manipulative and controlling and I have struggled for 5 years to get long with her. It's a totally messed up situation over which I have no control, AND no responsibility for, but it breaks my heart that he isn't speaking to us right now. He sent me a text saying he needed to concentrate 100% on his marriage and he'll get ahold of us later. That was nearly 2 months ago. His brother also texted him but no response, so he's about ready to disown him. We have always been such a close family, this is very hard on everyone. I am hopeful that the holidays will being us back together again.
Aliza- I like your idea of setting goals for November. I will do the same.
My goals for November -- Reach 155 on the scale
- Limit wine consumption (which will help a lot with #1)!
- Start on Christmas craft and baking projects
- Get back to doing yoga regularly
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Well I'm still under 180 for 3 days in a row....woo hoo!
My goals for November:
1. By Thanksgiving be under 175.
2. Keep on counting calories to make that goal weight happen!
3. Go to the sleep dr tomorrow and the cardiologist Wednesday and find out if I have sleep apnea and/or what caused the AFib.
4. Follow doctor instructions depending on what they tell me this week.
5. Do my best to not let the stress my daughter is putting us under get to me. I will not go out of my way to contact her....I haven't been doing that anyway and it does help. But I will text her 2 younger daughters (15.5 and 11 yo) occasionally to make sure they and their brother are hanging in there.
6. Depending on what doctors tell me this week....get back into some kind of exercise routine if allowed at least a couple of times a week.
7. Continue purging my craft room of stuff I haven't used in ages. Started doing that awhile ago but I have way more to go.
Rae.....thanks for sharing the story about your son. We were always such a close family too. It's awful knowing that in dealing with her husband leaving for another woman...she is putting herself through hell trying to get him back. In the past 2 months, she has gotten a nose job, cut her hair super short (like the girlfriend's), gotten 3 tattoos (the girlfriend has both arms fully tatted). I actually have 2 tattoos myself, so I don't have a problem with her getting any. I have a delicate-looking flower ankle bracelet, and a little rose on my other ankle. But my daughter just went and got 3 rather large ones on her torso and on her arm near her shoulder....and she actually told her sister she didn't put a lot of thought into what she was getting. She has lost almost 40 pounds (she needed to lose some weight but not that much that quickly. She signed up for a years worth of massages and a very pricey place. She's smoking which she never does. She's taking kick boxing classes which is a good thing. She has been lying to the kids and to the husband.....lying to the kids about what she's doing, where she's going, etc.....and to get husband away from girlfriend she is telling him things such as that he has to chaperone a school dance for the 11 yo and then when he gets to their house, tells him "change of plans" and makes him go with them to some haunted house thing. Then they get home late, he doesn't want to drive to girlfriend's apartment that late (45 minutes away) so he stays overnight....and sleeps with my daughter in their room. But then the next day, he leaves to go back to the girlfriend. The kids are all telling me this stuff btw. Last week she made an attempt to message me that she is doing better and ask how I am....then she hit me with she wants to get out of her house and can me and her dad help her financially. Thing is, we gave them $30,000 years ago to put down on their house. She is now saying she just wants out of the house, she wants to give the house to her husband and she will just move out and he can either share physical custody with her so he doesn't have to pay child support or she will just let him have the kids. She actually asked me if her dad and I will buy a house that she found that we can rent to her until she can afford to buy it from us. Both my husband and I tried to tell her that she has to go through mediation, get child support and alimony from him, and then either they both sell the house since it is in both their names...or he can then buy her out. Needless to say, we don't mind helping our kids provided they do the right thing....and make responsible decisions. However, she is out of her mind right now.
Ok....enough of that saga.
I am at my youngest daughter the nurse's house today watching the 2 littlest of her 4 boys, and my son's 21 month old daughter. Never a dull moment with the kids. Plan on going home tonight but won't get there until probably around 8 pm. Back to my son's house tomorrow AM....but my nurse daughter who is not working tomorrow will watch my son's daughter for me tomorrow afternoon when I go to sleep dr. appointment. Then tomorrow night I have a Girl Scout meeting at my house with my oldest granddaughter's troop. However...she won't even be at the meeting since she and several of the other girl scouts have to go to a national honor society thing at the high school. They were inducted themselves in previous years, but they have to attend this years induction ceremony for the new kids. Unfortunately, I can't cancel Girl Scouts because I promised someone in the community our troop will get decorations done for war vets and their families...and this woman wants them by Wednesday Am to get them ready to pack. We have a bunch done all ready....but have to finish with whatever girls show up at the meeting.
Take care ladies. Keep working at it!
Lin
Sorry for such a long post. Venting on here to all of you is good for me though.
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Oh Lin. The situation with your daughter is just heartbreaking. I'm sure you feel awful about the things she is doing, especially belittling herself with the lying to get her husband to stay over and making physical changes to be more like the GF. I hope, at some point, she will wake up and realize that she has more self respect than to lower herself to those tactics. You are doing the right thing by not giving her any more money, though. Did they ever pay back any of the $30,000? Amazing that she would just walk away from the house and give it to her husband, along with the kids! Just so he wouldn't have to pay child support! Like she will do anything and everything to the husband's benefit, even when HE'S the one who is cheating with another woman. It sounds like she really is not in her right mind right now.
Feel free to vent anytime! I have more stuff to share myself, but will have to wait until tomorrow. My husband has been home sick all day and needing/wanting all my attention. I love him to death, but men are such babies when they're ill. Now he wants to go to bed, so I'll just go with him and watch TV for awhile.
Oh, and congrats on staying under 180 for the past several days! Awesome!0 -
It's the worst kind of frustrating when you witness a child doing self-destructive behavior...especially when it's not going to do them any good (and, of course, it almost never does them any good). Maybe your daughter has a close friend she listens to that you could speak with in confidence and trust her to really keep it in confidence? Often a suggestion from a trusted friend goes deeper than one from a parent.
Man oh man! My heart goes out to you...and to your daughter...and to those grandchildren!
Question - When I click on 60 minutes of "ski machine", it gives me an amount of calories burned which is double what the machine says I've burned. I've been going by the machine (which is pretty depressing!
). What do you think? MyFitnessPal calculation or elliptical machine calculation? (when I put in "elliptical machine" it's even HIGHER on the MFP program)
That 159 weight was very ephemeral. I've been back at 160 ever since. Maybe at the end of November I'll be solidly in the 150s...here's hoping.
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Rae and Aliza.....thank you both for letting me vent the past few weeks.
Rae......no my daughter never paid back any of the $30,000...but it was never intended that she do. But no means are my husband and I super rich......but we actually gave both our daughters and our son $30,000 each when they were buying their first homes to help them out not expecting any of it back. That's why it's even sadder to us that she is saying she is going to give the house to her husband and either let the kids live with him or share custody half time so he doesn't have to pay child support. She really is out of her mind right now.
Aliza....she actually shares close friends with those of her sister, and my younger daughter says all the friends think she's out of her mind. The one friend that I think she has been hanging out with and confiding in the most saw my younger daughter last week. They talked about my troubled daughter and it turns out that she has been lying to this friend too about how she h as been avoiding her husband and all. Guess she doesn't want anyone to know what she is really doing.
The only thing I can do is stay in touch with the grandchildren and make sure all their needs are being met and let them vent when they need to. For that I am glad they are at least old enough to all have their own phones. When I do see them I make sure they have a good time doing things that make them happy. Trying to keep it as normal as possible for them at least when they are with me.
Back to me......yay this AM I am still in the 170's. 178.8 on the scale. I never want to see those 180's again although I did weigh myself last night and I was 180.8 when I was getting ready for bed. So........my new short term goal is to get under 180 at bedtime. Aliza.....you will be firmly in those 150's in no time...just keep up the good work.
Oh and Aliza.....I would go with the lower amount of calories burned. I sometimes think mfp numbers seem a little high. I know I doubt I burn as many calories doing things as they say I do. But if you do eat back exercise calories, better to err on the side of recording less calories burned. Gosh I hope the cardiologist gives me the all clear to get back to exercising tomorrow. Sleep doctor follow up this afternoon. I'll let you all know how I make out.
Talk to you later. Have a great day!
Lin
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I'm not going to get solidly in the 150's this way! Went to a pre-wedding celebration (it's a thing that Moroccans do - huge!) and ate fairly reasonably considering but way more oil and sugar than I've had in the past 2 months. Also indulged in some bread. An extra pound showed up on the scale this morning. Not a surprise. But, good grief!, one evening of much less than lots of other people eat at those kinds of parties and I'm up to 161.
Back to my usual 1200 calorie intake today. Hopefully by Friday morning (official weigh in) the extra pound will be gone.
The actual wedding is Nov. 18th and I think I've learned my lesson.
I haven't been "eating my exercise calories) in over 2 weeks. Once I realized that it was probably the reason I wasn't losing weight. So I don't even have that wiggle room.
Sort of discouraging but that's just the way it is.
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Hang in there, Aliza. That scale will reward you soon enough. I don't know why it works this way for me, but when I am trying to lose weight and sticking to my 1200-1400 calories/day (usually try to stay at the 1200 calorie mark), if I have a few days where I go over (sometimes quite a bit over) of the calories I am allowing myself....I find that although I will be up on the scale for a couple of days afterwards when I return to the 1200 calorie a day plan, the scale will then suddenly drop to a new low weight for me.
So.....all my results from the doctors......No sleep apnea. When I saw the sleep doctor yesterday all he said was that I do not have sleep apnea. I paid my $40 co pay...waited 1/2 hour to see him....and that was it. No sleep apnea. He gave me a copy of the report and sent me on my way. I could have gotten a call instead of going there. Oh well.
Then cardiologist this AM......I gave him a copy of the sleep report and he said "that's too bad, but I guess it's good". I said "What?!" He said that if I had sleep apnea, that would have been a reason for the AFib episodes. He said all tests (heart echo, 2 weeks of heart monitor, stress test, EKGs, chest xrays, bloodwork) everything has come back normal except when I had bloodwork in the hospital for 1 of the AFib episodes, my potassium was low. Bottom line....he doesn't know what caused my AFib. He said it could have been low potassium and stress...but I don't think he was happy that that was all he had for me. So he did send me for more bloodwork to check everything out including potassium. I was lucky I hadn't eaten or drank anything this AM because it was fasting bloodwork so I was able to get it done right after seeing the cardiologist. They will call me if I need to start taking potassium. I have an appt for a return followup in February. In the meantime, I can return to exercising. Yay! Also, he suggested I may want to continue taking the meds he gave me for lowering blood pressure/heart rate. He said that the meds are also good for stress because they keep the adrenaline down. But, he said I could cut my dosage in half, so I will. He did give me some samples of some meds that he wants me to keep on me should I have another AFib episode. If that happens, I am to take 1 of the sample meds and a full dose of the other meds for heartrate, etc....and he said I do not have to go to the ER right away. He said I should try to wait out the Afib episode for a few hours (4-5 hours) and see if my heart self-regulates again. Then I can call the office to report what happen. Otherwise, go to ER. Oh...and he also said I should avoid stressful situations. I warned him I don't think that is going to be possible the next few months, not with my daughter and what she's going through. That's when he gave me the sample meds for if I have another AFib episode.
Tonight I have a girl scout meeting with granddaughter #3 the 11 1/2 year old's troop. Working on holiday gifts and decorations for senior citizens at a senior apartment complex in a neighboring town. We'll go caroling there too...and bring cookies/drinks for the residents sometime in December. I'm kind of hoping that my daughter just drops Mickey (granddaughter #3 is MacKenzie but we all call her Mickey) off for the meeting tonight and doesn't come in. That would be one way for me to avoid stress.....avoid her. What a mess, huh?
Ok....so I'm off to clean the house and get ready for girl scouts. And.....maybe I'll even get some exercise in tonight after the meeting. Woo hoo! Have a healthy day, ladies.
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Good morning!
Got dressed in the master bathroom today where the scale happens to be. Usually I just get dressed in one of our other bathrooms so I don't slow my husband down when he is trying to get ready and use the bathroom/shower in the AM. So.....I weighed myself. 177.8 this AM! Happy dance! That scale is moving in the right direction. According to my measurements (which I did on Saturday) and a standard US measurement/size chart....I am still wearing size 16 jeans, and this is indeed what I am wearing. I'm a pear shape, you know. However....I have size 14's in my closet so hopefully it won't be long before I can fit into them. Maybe by Christmas?
Have a nice day!
Lin
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Hi Ladies-
Well, this has been quite a week so far.
My stepbrother passed away a few days ago from a cerebral hemorrhage. I barely knew him, as he lived in another state and we were both adults when our parents married 20 years ago. Sadly, he left behind a wife, 2 sons and 5 grandchildren. He was morbidly obese and an alcoholic, but had all the outward "trappings" of a successful life. Nice house, cars, boat, career, etc., but he didn't value his own health enough to change his lifestyle. He had a minor heart attack about 2 years ago, lost a lot of weight and quit drinking, but then reverted right back to his previous bad habits. While his death really doesn't affect me personally, I worry about my stepfather, who I really love and am close to. He is in his 80's, so losing his eldest son is quite a shock. A shock at any age, but more so I think when you are elderly. I also mourn for his family and especially his grandchildren who will never get to know him.
Yesterday, my father-in-law had a terrible fall and hit his head on something. We're not sure exactly what happened, but thank God he was at the medical clinic when it happened. We think he was there at the pharmacy to pick up a prescription when he lost consciousness and hit something on his way down. He has a purple goose egg on his head the size of a baseball! We spent all day yesterday at the Emergency Dept while they did CT scans and MRI's. Apparently, they also did CPR on him at the clinic because they didn't feel a pulse, so he is bruised all over his chest and his heart is enlarged. They have him stableized now, but we still haven't heard the results of his last MRI. He has a lot of health problems already and was scheduled for bladder cancer surgery mid-November. Now everything is up in the air. I'm very torn about whether to let my sons know about this. My oldest son and family are in NYC on a work/vacation trip. I hate to make them worry if everything turns out to be OK. My youngest son is not speaking to us, but he has been close to his grandfather in the past. I don't want to use this event as an avenue to initiate contact between us, but I also don't want to keep it from him. I'm just so torn. What a freaking mess.
To add to the fun, I have had this awful gastrointestinal thing going on for nearly a week. Pain and discomfort in my stomach, which I thought might be pancreatitis (right upper quadrant area radiating into my back). I really haven't wanted to go to the doctor about it. I had some gastric issues about a month ago (pain on the other side) and went to the doctor who put me on a bunch of meds. Then I had a very serious reaction to one of the meds and almost went to the ER thinking I was having a stroke! This time I am going to wait it out and see how I do. Of course, to add to the confusion, my mother and I ate at Chipotle (a healthy Mexican chain restaurant) about 10 days ago. Now they have shut down 45 of the restaurants in Oregon and Washington due to a widespread e. coli outbreak. The one we ate at was one of the 4 in Oregon with confirmed cases. I haven't had any vomiting or diarrhea, but my mom did for 2-3 days about a week ago. I don't know if it's possible to have "mild" e. coli? I've heard it is horrific, so maybe we were lucky to not get it. I don't know. I just know I'm tired of having tummy troubles.
SO, the only slightly good thing to come of the gastric issues is that I have lost weight. Not a good way to do it, but I have had to eat very light the past week. Since last Friday when I was about 161, I'm now down to 158. I'm starting to eat a bit more last couple days so we'll see if I can hang onto the 150's.
Lin- Glad to hear that your test results came out well. That's good news!! Your doctor is just looking for a reason for your Afib events. Since the tests were all negative, I would venture a guess that it is entirely stress related. I have had similar episodes in the past, was on the heart monitor, echocardiogram, EKGs and all that. More than one time in my life, actually. Seems like each time it was always following some stressful event (not during). I am always calm in the face of chaos and emergencies, but then have physical symptoms afterwards. Even yesterday, I was fine through all the craziness of rushing to the hospital, waiting for test results on my father-in-law, comforting my sister-in-laws, etc. Then last night as we were heading home I started having chest pains. I have a feeling all the stress with your daughter might be behind these events. Once you get started exercising again (don't overdo it), that might make you feel better. My gastro issues are probably related to all the stress from the situation with my son and his wife. The mind/body connection is a strong one and we don't really pay enough attention to it (in my opinion).
Aliza - re: the calorie burn. When I first started on MFP, I kept comparing the calorie burn on my treadmill to the one on MFP. I was kind of obsessed with it for awhile. One day I even wore two different pedometers while on my treadmill, then compared all 4! (Kind of silly, but I wanted to see the difference.) Then I got a fitness tracker (Vivofit) and did the same when I would go for walks (fitness tracker on my wrist, pedometer on my waist, and the MapMyWalk app on my phone). They were ALWAYS different. Sometimes WAY different! Mostly now, I just wear the Vivofit to give me an idea of my step count and I enter the time into MFP and just go with that. It was kind of fun to keep track of it for awhile, though. You and I are hovering around the same weight, it seems. I'm sure you'll be back in the 150's very soon! Just curious, how tall are you? I am 5'5".
Sorry for the long post, but this is a nice place to come and share life's trials and (hopefully soon) triumphs!
Have a good day ladies!
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UPDATE: My father-in-law had a stroke and a seizure. He is now awake and recognizing family, but the doctor also said he is exhibiting signs of dementia. He might need to go to a rehabilitation facility for awhile. We will go back to the hospital this afternoon and assess the situation ourselves. His daughters are there with him right now.
I called both my sons to tell them, so that was a big step for me (for the younger one, that is). It wasn't something I felt we should keep to ourselves, as they do love their grandfather. My younger son and his wife are going to stop by and see him sometime today.
My husband had to work today. He was off Monday and Tuesday and at the hospital most of Wednesday, so he had to go in or risk his job. Since I will wait to go back to the hospital until he gets home, I decided to take myself to the pool and work off some of the stress. It was a very good decision and I feel much better for it.0 -
It is nice to be able to come here and share what's going on in our lives, isn't it?
I already said this....but sorry about your step brother. It's sad that he couldn't change his ways permanently and now leaves behind a wife, kids and grandchildren way too early.
Hope everything works out with your father-in-law. My husband lost his dad last year, and his mom the beginning of this year. They were both in their 90's and did have good long happy lives. My husband was lucky though because one of his sisters is a nurse who never married and lived up near the parents. I also said she kept them alive all those years taking them to doctors appts, etc. But when Ron's folks did get sick......she was the one who took care of them. Is your mother-in-law still alive? You didn't mention her.
I'm glad you talked to both of your sons. Even though he wasn't talking to you before, I'm sure he appreciated the call about his grandfather. Hopefully this will open the door and he will start talking to you again.
Hopefully you and your mom were not suffering from e-coli and it was just a stomach bug. Luckily the worst of stomach bugs doesn't last long....but your tummy can be sensitive for days afterwards. Congrats on making it into the 150's! I'll cross my fingers for you that you stay there too and don't see those 160's again.
It is amazing what stress can do to a body. Oh...and evidently my son-in-law had a fight with his girlfriend and moved his stuff back home last night. But....my daughter told the 15 yo granddaughter that dad will probably make up with the girlfriend and he was only staying for the 1 night. My granddaughter texted me all that. I told her keep me posted. In the meantime I ended up with Mickey and her brother Colten anyway. They came over for girl scouts and ended up staying overnight and all day with me. My daughter picked them up at 4:30 this afternoon. She did thank me for watching them but didn't say much else. I pretty much ignored her when she was here..but she was in a hurry anyway because the kids have karate tonight. I felt bad for not talking hardly at all to her, but I just don't know what's going on with her anymore and I really am trying to avoid stress at all costs.
We'll see what happens next.
Ok...so I have my son's 2 littlest kids here overnight. Just fed them dinner. I ate a can of progresso light soup for dinner and a salad. Wasn't really hungry at all today. If kids go to be early, I may have time to get some exercise in. I'm thinking about doing a WATP video. I have some of them....but you can find them on youtube also.
Later, everyone!0 -
Wow! Rae, I'm SO SO sorry for all the family sadness. Hang in there!
Maybe your younger son will take this opportunity to re-new some kind of relationship with you. That would be good, right?
I'm in a rush. Hope to get back here soon to get caught up with you guys. I've been barely finding time to read your postings and haven't had time to reply. But I"m here and feeling for you both!
I lost the pound I gained but still solidly at 160.
Cheers!0 -
Morning ladies!
My father-in-law is doing better. Sitting up and talking to people. When we saw him last night he seemed to recognize us. He thinks he was in a car accident and that's why he's in the hospital. To your question, Lin. My husband lost his mother and his stepmother within the past few years, both from cancer. Surprisingly, they were the best of friends, so it was doubly sad. We helped to provide hospice care for both of them. My father-in-law has now survived 3 wives and he's always been the one with the worst health problems. My husband, who is just a rock emotionally, really had a rough time last night. I know this is super hard for him.
Re: my son - when I talked to him yesterday I did ask him whether or not he had any intention of speaking to his family anytime in the near future. He said, "this will all be over soon", so I'm not sure exactly what that means. That they're almost ready to talk to us again and we're supposed to be grateful???? Frankly, I'm so mad about the situation I'm not ready to just come running whenever they decide they want to let us back into their lives. I think we have some hard roads ahead of us and they will also have to work on rebuilding relationships with us. I have always done everything in my power to be good to this woman and I've given her way too much power in the family - always catering to her whims, etc. He did say, "I love you mom" before he hung up. I know he does love us, but his wife is such a controlling you-know-what, that he is willing to risk his relationships with his family in order to keep peace with her. He and his wife did go see my father-in-law at the hospital, brought flowers and food for everyone there. Nobody knows about this rift, so they all just think she is SO wonderful! She's a wolf in sheep's clothing, is what she is. Oh well, this too shall pass eventually.
Lin - I just want to punch your son-in-law in the throat! I don't even know him, but he sounds like a real piece of work and is taking such advantage of your daughter's love (obsession) for him. What a jerk!
Aliza - good news on the pound loss!
Today I am spending the day with my sister. She's had some weird neurological things going on (numbness in her head and face), so I'm going with her to the University hospital in Portland for an MRI. It's about an hour away from here, so we're going to make a day of it. Go to lunch, then MRI, then shopping at the outlet mall. She's going to drop me off at the hospital when we get back, so I'll meet my husband there.
Hope you ladies are having a good day!0 -
I usually weigh every Saturday AM even though I weigh myself during the week sometimes. Well, this morning I am 176.7. That's 3.1 pounds down from last Saturday. Surprised but happy about that.
So...the cardiologist office called me yesterday afternoon. Seems my recent bloodwork showed I am low in iron. I have to go get more bloodwork done this week to check it again...and I think they are going to want to do a stool sample also since I went through menopause over 10 years ago so having your period and having low iron wouldn't apply to me. I also rarely eat red meat...and I really haven't been eating much that would be considered high in iron. The doctor doesn't have me on any iron supplements yet. So today I when I go food shopping, for starters I will pick up some spinach and maybe some iron fortified cereal I can eat for breakfast.
Update on my daughter and her husband. And this is going to be long but thanks for letting me vent...
So last Wednesday he brought all his stuff home from the girlfriend's and my daughter even drove him to the girlfriend's apartment in the evening (45 minutes away) so he could ride his motorcycle home. However, my daughter did tell my 15 yo granddaughter that he had a fight with his girlfriend and he is only staying for 1 night. Thursday he went to work and didn't go back to the house that night. My 11 1/2 yo granddaughter heard her mom talking to him on their way home from karate and my granddaughter said, and I quote "mom was counseling him on how to make up with the girlfriend." Can you believe this or what? Anyway....the 11 yo granddaughter and her 10 yo brother spent Thursday and Friday with me because they had no school. However, my daughter didn't ask me to watch them...she had my granddaughter call me and ask me if I could come pick them up so they could come to my house. My daughter did call me Thursday around 4:30 to tell me she was coming to pick up the kids (for karate) and she did thank me for watching them on Thursday. However yesterday......the kids were here again as I did pick them up again Friday AM when they called me and said their mom said they could come over again. At 4:30 I heard the garage door opening and I assumed it was my husband coming home from work. NOT! It was my son in law the jerk. He let himself into the garage (he punched in the security code to open to garage door) and just came in without knocking. My daughter never called me to tell me he was picking up the kids. He walked in with such an air of arrogance. He was being loud and acting like everything was fine. Then he picked up my 21 month old granddaughter (my son's daughter) and said "Hi Lucie, it's Uncle Lenny! Can you say Uncle Lenny!!" I was so angry my daughter didn't warn me he was coming to pick up their kids. He also has no right to just walk into my house uninvited and without even knocking. I told him to just get the kids and leave. He says "What's the matter, Lin-da?" in his very condescending voice. So....I told him to just leave because if I never have to see him again that would make me very happy. He then told the kids that they'd better go "before grandma had another heart attack", and he told them "you probably won't be seeing her again." Then he went into the next room and started talking to my son's 4 year old boy. By this time I was furious. I walked up to him and told him that we all know he failed at his relationship with my daughter, but evidently he is also a failure at his relationship with his girlfriend. I said that since I knew he had fought with her and returned home Wednesday, even though I knew he was back there Thursday and I didn't know if he and the girlfriend had made up or not.
Well....that really hit home with him because he just said to the kids "let's go" and he left immediately. I did hear my granddaughter ask him how come he was picking them up on Friday. She asked him this since during this whole time he was only seeing the kids on Tuesday evenings and Saturdays while he's been with girlfriend....except when my daughter found reasons or made them up to get him to the house and away from the girlfriend. I heard him say that "mom was going on with friends tonight."
So...my stress level was kind of high at that point. I called me youngest daughter since I was pretty positive that he would go home and tell my daughter what I said to him and she will probably be mad at me. But my youngest daughter said she was proud of me for telling him to get out. She said her sister should have told me he was picking up the kids, then I could have had him call when he got here and I could have sent the kids out. She also liked the barb I threw at him for being a failure.
Then husband came home. I told him what happened. He said I did the right thing...and he doesn't want the guy just walking in our house uninvited. He thinks our daughter is out of her mind...and he can't stand my son-in-law. He knows my son in law has always been rude and was always making sarcastic remarks to me all these years.
Then my mom called. So I told her. She said she wouldn't have just told him to get out. She said she would have thrown something at him. lol My mother has never thrown anything at anybody. She can't stand the guy either.
Then my daughter in law showed up to pick up their kids. She can't stand him either and also agreed my daughter should have told me he was picking up the kids...and that we do not have to allow him in the house if we don't
want him here.
The only thing I am worried about is that my daughter will decide to not let the kids see me because of the way I feel about their father. However, the rest of the family said not to worry about that. They said she knows how her husband has always treated me because she has always made excuses for him such as "he's just trying to be funny."
Well....I'll see the 15 old granddaughter tomorrow at girl scout function....so I will take a few minutes to just find out if he is back again for now (as in he is on the outs with the girlfriend). Also....she may have heard them talking and she might know if they still plan on going through mediation or what.
One other thing.....remember just last week my daughter was telling me to buy her a house and rent it to her....and she was planning on just giving their house to her husband and sharing custody with him so he doesn't have to pay child support. Well....15 yo told me that they are now planning on renovating one of the bathrooms. My daughter wanted to do that for years, but her husband always refused to. Now he offered to do the renovations with her. They are crazy.
But.......despite all the stress....I felt good after talking to the rest of my family. I guess we all feel the same about what is going on. My daughter also hasn't contacted me yet and yelled at me for the way I treated her "husband." But when the time comes and I do talk to her, I will tell her that from now on if he is picking up the kids we (her dad and I) want a phone call to tell us he's coming and when he gets here we will send the kids out.
So today I have some laundry to do...and ironing of husband's shirts....but first I'm going to head to grocery store and somewhere else to pick up some rubbermaid bins for material and felt I have that won't fit in the bins I do have.
Be healthy ladies! Talk to you later. And...thanks for letting me vent. It's like therapy for me.
Lin0 -
After eating way more at lunch yesterday and deciding not to eat ANY dinner as a result so |I could be within my calorie goal number, I weighed in today at 158.6. I'm thinking it's an anomaly and I'll be back up to 160 next time I weight in no matter what but it's nice looking at that number for a few minutes.
So I've been struggling with how to respond to your stories. I trained as a couples therapist in grad school and practiced for awhile. Then, after getting certified as a yoga teacher, I went on to get certified as a yoga therapist and practiced that for awhile. My outlook on family behavior comes from all that training and practice. It's so much a part of who I am and how I look at relationship behavior that my interactions with my husband, my kids, grandkids and the world just naturally come from there.
But I try to keep my therapist self outside my friend self.
I think I'm going to prefer not to comment too much other that to genuinely empathize with all you're going through. Families are so complicated. Children inspire the very best and the very worst of our emotions.
If there's a good family therapist around you, maybe you could give that a try. Just to get a different perspective.
Seems like we're all losing weight! That's so great. What are your goals? (I probably knew that once upon a time) Mine is 140 (for now)
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Hi ladies-
Well, it's Monday and the start of a new week. My tummy troubles seem to be back as of last night. Not as bad as before, but still causing me a bit of annoyance. I'm pretty sure it's mostly due to stress. I've never been a "stress eater" as a lot of people are. During times of difficulty, I usually lose my appetite and struggle to eat enough. I used to jokingly say I was either "fat and happy" or "skinny and sad". This is really quite accurate, although I don't really want to be that way anymore. I want to be fit and fabulous!
Lin - I really feel for you and your situation. One thing I would do if I were you is to change the security code on your garage door (if you can) so he can't just waltz in without notice. I think it's a good idea for you to let your daughter know she needs to call you if he is coming to pick up the kids. That is setting reasonable boundaries that they both should respect. I wouldn't really worry too much about your daughter not letting the kids see you. They are old enough to reach out to you on their own, so any attempts by your daughter to restrict them from seeing you would probably not work. Especially since you are involved in the girl scout thing with your granddaughter.
I would seek some counseling for yourself, as Aliza suggested. I am seeing a counselor right now and it is helping me deal with the current situation with my son and daughter-in-law. I am just trying to be patient and let them figure things out, but I do miss having a relationship with my son. We have always been a close loving family, so being shut out of his life has been pretty painful.
My father-in-law is doing better. He is in a rehab nursing center right now that is really close to our home, so we can see him often. My husband works only about 2 miles away, so he is stopping in a couple times a day. While he is there (estimated 2 weeks at least) we are going to clean out his house, with his permission, of course. His wife passed away 3 years ago today. Since then the family has helped with basic cleaning, but things have gotten very cluttered and the house needs a deep cleaning. I am hoping he will also let us take his wife's clothes, shoes and personal items to charity. We haven't discussed that specifically, but I'd like to use this opportunity to do that if he will allow it. The house is still filled with her things. I did this for a friend about 10 years ago. His wife had passed away and he just couldn't bring himself to get rid of her things, so I did it for him one day while he was away from the house.
Aliza - congratulations on continuing to see the lower number on the scale! I know how good it feels to be in the 150's again. I had asked you how tall you are, but didn't see your reply.
For myself, my original goal when I joined MFP was to reach 155. I started MFP at about 180. I was thinking about MFP for about 2 weeks before I finally got around to weighing myself and was 178 the day I first weighed-in. I weighed this past Friday and I was 156, so I have lost 22 pounds. I have not seen that number on the scale in at least a decade. Although I recognize the recent loss is mostly because of the tummy troubles, hopefully I can stay in the 150's once I'm back to normal eating patterns. About the goal weight - now that I'm nearly at the weight I had originally wanted, I'm thinking I may want to re-assess. At 155 I'm still technically "overweight" according to the BMI calculator, so I may try to get down to 140-145, which would bump me down out of the "overweight" category into "normal" for my age and height.0 -
I'm kind of a news junkie - although my oldest son tells me that is unhealthy. Whatever. I like to know what's going on in the world. Today I saw a video on CNN of a Palestinian woman attacking an Israeli security guard with a knife! On the video, she was just calmly talking to him and when he looked away for a second, she reached into her purse and grabbed the knife and started stabbing at him. He was not severely injured, and other security guards shot her. I believe she was injured, but not killed.
Made me think of you, Aliza, and what a scary world you are facing right now. This recent event was near Beitar Illit. Is that anywhere close to where you live?0 -
Hi there,
I'm 5'2" so 158 is a lot to carry around on my joints and frame. I'd love to be taller but there you go.
Many of the terrorist knife attacks and attempts to run people over have been not too far from us. Israel is about the size of Rhode Island - tiny - so nothing is too very far. I live about 10 miles north of Jerusalem.
Today two 13 year old Arab boys jumped a train security guard with knives. One was killed and one was seriously injured. I just don't understand terrorist organizations using young boys to carry out terrorist attacks and especially against security guards who are armed! The results are so obvious. They're encouraged to carry out these kinds of things - their families are given a monthly income if someone in the family is a terrorist who's been killed or jailed and there are parades in their honor and even streets named after them. Crazy, crazy, crazy.
I'm home sick today. Scratchy throat, stuffy nose, cough and general achiness. Not getting on the elliptical today so I'm trying not to eat much. Have some sweet potato and carrot soup on right now. Surprisingly, it doesn't have all that many calories.
Changing the locks - GREAT IDEA! Since he came in the garage door, though, I'm guessing it was open. Good time to lock up.
Had a binge last night. A way too long day feeling crappy. I'd been feeling a binge coming on for a couple of days and just let my guard down. Ugh! Back on the wagon today.
I remember being in the low 130's and liking it a lot. But I also remember being in the high 130's when I was 48 years old and looking just fine in my opinion. So I'm aiming for 145 by mid February when we're going to India for 5 weeks (but will be happy to be 150) and 140 when bathing suit weather rolls around again. If I see 132 again in this lifetime, that'd be nice, but I have a feeling that it wouldn't look all that good on me anymore.
Not planning a weigh in until Friday a.m. if I can hold on til then.0
This discussion has been closed.