Need a little help over here...
kellycasey5
Posts: 486 Member
Hi guys!
I am hoping for a little help as I had a very bad week. This post has some personal information, and I know some won't want to read through it so bear with me. I just feel I am going to go off track and it worries me.
After finally finding a group of doctors that will take the medical insurance and getting the soonest consultation (11/30), I found out I was denied disability. They neglected 200 pages of my medical records, and said there is only evidence of depression which does effect my abilities but not my work. Which is mindblowingly awful as it is the vestibular migraine with persistent aura and dizziness that makes me so house and bed bound, with the small fiber neuropathy and autonomic stuff just making things worse. So how the heck they even bothered with depression is a nightmare. I did not apply for depression although it is on my condition list and I am under treatment. Chronic illness causes depression. Even worse, this is after personally sending in and confirming the analyst received my records, and calling for 2 months and being told they were reviewing my extensive records and testing. They could have at least acknowledged my biopsy proven neuropathy. GRRRRRR......I just wanted the income so I could buy a private policy so I could continue to see good specialists so there was a possibility they could fix me. I lost my whole team of doctors. That is the last blurb of sick because I am just so overwhelmed and the situation is somewhere between awful and life ruining tragedy.
Spent the past Thursday and Friday trying to find a lawyer to help the appeal/ hearing, and nobody will take my case due to age and "no definitive test for migraine" although they ruled out everything else. It only took a year and a half and now we are back to repeating tests. SIGH. So that is the background of where my life is at...
Now my issue:
Managed to not really eat anything for 2 days bc I was so upset, then managed one day where all I ate was McDonalds #2 (it sounds weird but Dad used to get me McDonalds when I was sick and it is a comfort thing), the next day all I ate was Panda Express but I did make my coffee (too just uck to go grocery shopping or cook). Yesterday who the heck knows I had coffee, a string cheese, a power bar, a cup of noodles, and then mindlessly ate a bunch of cookies waiting for the trick or treaters that never came.
Anybody have any ideas how to get back on track? I just can't seem to get in the routine I was in and am sort of mindlessly wandering. I will be going home for a few days this coming week to spend time with my mom and brother. I don't want to gain weight, and I do want to be as healthy as possible. I have worked so hard to get here and have a few pounds left to goal.
I guess I feel I could use a pep talk, or some friends or someone in a similar situation? Life has beaten me down and I just feel stuck.
Thanks guys for listening
I am hoping for a little help as I had a very bad week. This post has some personal information, and I know some won't want to read through it so bear with me. I just feel I am going to go off track and it worries me.
After finally finding a group of doctors that will take the medical insurance and getting the soonest consultation (11/30), I found out I was denied disability. They neglected 200 pages of my medical records, and said there is only evidence of depression which does effect my abilities but not my work. Which is mindblowingly awful as it is the vestibular migraine with persistent aura and dizziness that makes me so house and bed bound, with the small fiber neuropathy and autonomic stuff just making things worse. So how the heck they even bothered with depression is a nightmare. I did not apply for depression although it is on my condition list and I am under treatment. Chronic illness causes depression. Even worse, this is after personally sending in and confirming the analyst received my records, and calling for 2 months and being told they were reviewing my extensive records and testing. They could have at least acknowledged my biopsy proven neuropathy. GRRRRRR......I just wanted the income so I could buy a private policy so I could continue to see good specialists so there was a possibility they could fix me. I lost my whole team of doctors. That is the last blurb of sick because I am just so overwhelmed and the situation is somewhere between awful and life ruining tragedy.
Spent the past Thursday and Friday trying to find a lawyer to help the appeal/ hearing, and nobody will take my case due to age and "no definitive test for migraine" although they ruled out everything else. It only took a year and a half and now we are back to repeating tests. SIGH. So that is the background of where my life is at...
Now my issue:
Managed to not really eat anything for 2 days bc I was so upset, then managed one day where all I ate was McDonalds #2 (it sounds weird but Dad used to get me McDonalds when I was sick and it is a comfort thing), the next day all I ate was Panda Express but I did make my coffee (too just uck to go grocery shopping or cook). Yesterday who the heck knows I had coffee, a string cheese, a power bar, a cup of noodles, and then mindlessly ate a bunch of cookies waiting for the trick or treaters that never came.
Anybody have any ideas how to get back on track? I just can't seem to get in the routine I was in and am sort of mindlessly wandering. I will be going home for a few days this coming week to spend time with my mom and brother. I don't want to gain weight, and I do want to be as healthy as possible. I have worked so hard to get here and have a few pounds left to goal.
I guess I feel I could use a pep talk, or some friends or someone in a similar situation? Life has beaten me down and I just feel stuck.
Thanks guys for listening
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Replies
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So sorry to hear you're dealing with all of this. It sounds maddening, frustrating, and very depressing (ironically enough).
As far as going off track with your food goes, I think that's totally understandable, and not really that damaging in the long term. It sounds like it was just a couple of days, and you can get back on track. Just the fact that you're here looking for support shows you're serious about making a permanent change.
My main advice is to track everything you're eating and any exercise you're able to do. Are you keeping a food journal here on MFP? I have the app on my phone, and find it invaluable. As soon as I put something in my mouth (or even right before I do), I log it in. Seeing the calories there in black and white really keeps me from going overboard on mindless snacking.
Good luck to you. You can do it! You don't have to let unhealthy eating be another thing you add to the list of things going wrong in your life right now. In fact, I find that when I'm having a bad day, continuing to eat right helps my mood immensely. I'm rooting for you!0 -
Thank you for the kind words! You are right that I don't have to add unhealthy eating to my list! I need people who love me enough to say "get over it...the Kelly I know is not a victim and not a quitter so buckle up, man down, and handle it." I don't think I need the tough love, I just need to remember I've come too far to give up on myself now. The 3 or 4 day wallow was quite enough...and yes, ironically enough it IS quite depressing.
I know the support here is fantastic....and instead of going off grid I just have to track, acknowledge, and let myself succeed. That's where this gets tricky admitting we need help instead of running away. Thank you for listening!0 -
You're so welcome! Everyone has tricky days/weeks/months/years...but that isn't where the story ends. 0
