Empty nester alone for the holidays trying not to have a pity party
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WalkinChik
Posts: 19 Member
I'm a new empty nester my daughter away in college 3000 miles away and I'm facing the holidays feeling like I'm all alone. Logically I know that's not true and I'm trying to avoid having a pity party over it. This morning felt really sorry for myself rather than being thankful and I ended up eating over it. While I didn't go over my calories I ate stuff that really doesn't make me feel good. I need to make it through these holidays focusing on what I have rather than on what I am lacking. How are you guys facing the holiday
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I am not American so not currently celebrating holidays but just wanted to say I hope you are feeling a little better about things. Maybe since you know that holidays will be more difficult for you with your daughter away you could find something to do. They have lots of great colouring books for adults now, or perhaps volunteering at a soup kitchen or something of that nature might help you see the positives in your own life0
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It's tough being by yourself on holidays. I lived in a different state than my family for a while and worked a job where I had to work a lot of holidays...it seemed to help me most to just treat it like any other day and try not to think of it as a holiday or being special. That way, I could just do my normal routine without feeling sad that I was missing out on holiday celebrations. It's tough, for sure!0
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Shame you don't know someone else who's also got family a long way away so u can be with them & solve both your problem. Even visiting a retirement village or hospital to spend time with others alone. You may need to get to know the staff there first, so would be good to get sorted out 1st. Could help for next year. This will be your 1st & last year on your own.0
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I actually like having holidays alone! I have a huge extended family that has always gotten together for the holidays. My childhood Thanksgivings & Christmases had 40 people (NOT exxagerrating!!). We'd do potluck, but there were always things to heat up, last minute preps, dishes (despite the paper plates) & desserts. It was up early, cook, prep, eat, clean, eat, go home & collapse. There were holidays when it was time to eat, & I didn't feel the least bit hungry. Resisting all that food was kinda easy after making/ prepping it. Now that my grandparents have passed, the family holidays gave gotten much smaller (maybe 15-20 of us) & there have been a couple years where I'm by myself for most of the day. I enjoy the quiet. I've got friends who always let me know I'm welcome. I know it's not the same as having family around you, but you need to look at this as an opportunity, not a "lonely" day! Maybe you could spend Christmas with friends, or make a plan for going out for the day! I imagine the theater will have good seating!0
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LoL, I did avail myself to the movies. Family lives in another state and I had to work so I couldn't leave. Thanks for responding
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SuesNewImage wrote: »Shame you don't know someone else who's also got family a long way away so u can be with them & solve both your problem. Even visiting a retirement village or hospital to spend time with others alone. You may need to get to know the staff there first, so would be good to get sorted out 1st. Could help for next year. This will be your 1st & last year on your own.
I had to work, so I focused on my work and providing care to someone who was worse off than me. I went to the movies on Friday. ..alone but I loved that.0 -
Thank you all for your responses. I'm used to having to work for most holidays but this was the first one with my daughter so far away. I'm going to have a better plan next year though.0
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Good for you0
