I totally know what you're talking about, and am fighting that same urge myself. Sometimes honestly what motivates me the most is to think about how much time and effort I've already put in to get to where I am in recovery today, and how horrible it was and how much it sucked, and how, quite simply, I don't want to go through that hell again. Because on some level, we all know that the only way out of an eating disorder is either recovery or death. As tempting as it feels to relapse right now, I know that if I do, I'm just going to have to go through all of the recovery process all over again. There's no way around that fact. And quite frankly, I don't want to deal with that stress again. I have other things I could be doing with my time.

I find this is a difficult time for me also. I seem to be easily triggered by what others are telling me about health, weight loss etc. I encourage and suppoert you to keep on facing your ed like you have done so far and staying with recovery. I wish I had recovered and made it right when I was younger, you have many healthy years ahead! I'm new to this section of MFP, didnt know it existed until today and I'm grateful for all of you for setting it up and keeping it going so now I can join.

Byronic_Ryu wrote: »

To help with triggers and prevent a crisis, I use my WRAP book. It is really useful especially since I have memories issues. You can read about it: http://mentalhealthrecovery.com/

Thank you for this tool: maybe it will help me