Food addiction - as powerful as any drug

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jaserenee
jaserenee Posts: 1 Member
I have recently started using MFP again. It's helping me learn portions most importantly. I eat when Im happy, excited, sad, lost and lonely, stressed... I feed people to show love even.

For a long time I have watched my weight increase to the point that I after the births of my two daughters I surpassed my full term weights. I have been aware that I was withdrawing from my life and numbing myself with food. I no longer am able to participate in my own life but most importantly participate in my three children's lives as I feel they deserve. I feel disgusting and find myself embarrassing.

I have for a long time now been searching for an external solution to this newly recognized addiction. I know how to lose weight, there are endless resources available and god knows I have the motivation but I am still unable to do what it takes. This to me is the very definition of addiction...aware of the impact and hurt but powerless to change. I have even approached my GP asking for help, someone to hold me accountable. It scares me how far I have let myself go and that I have been unable to stop despite being aware it is destroying my life.

Im scared. Im scared of another failure and what that will mean for me, im scared to change, im scared of people noticing me losing weight. I'm scared to try, like really try. I have started tracking my food again and re reading Women, Food and God by Geneen Roth which has been invaluable. My immediate plan is to up my fibre, drink more water, get more sleep and track my food. Im keeping it that simple at the moment.

I'm 29, with three kids. At my heaviest I weighed 113kg and I'm addicted to food.




Replies

  • tyandgil01
    tyandgil01 Posts: 21 Member
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    Girl! I'm right there with you!! I'm 38 and have gained 25lbs in 1.5 years. It sucks. I also have 3 kids & am addicted to food. I struggle everyday. I'm ALWAYS thinking of food, when I'm going to eat next, what I'm going to eat next..it's a constant struggle. I'm here if you need to talk. We could keep each other accountable.
  • HotBean
    HotBean Posts: 2 Member
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    I am with both of you two ladies. I developed my food addiction after a 15 month tour in Iraq. I started to eat when I was upset and unable to deal with my depression. I gained 100 pounds the first year back and some after that. All I think about is food...I hate it. I feel like no one in my family understands the daily struggle I go through. I wish I had someone to help me make the right decisions and understands me. I am glad there are people who are out there that has the same problem as I do and maybe we can each other.