Honesty with binge eating
drpsamin
Posts: 265 Member
I've recently told my amazing husband abt my ED.
He does not quite understand it. But accepts it and wants me to get help if I think I need it.
I told him I binge but I have not been honest about ....how big my binges are.
He might think they are just entire huge bag of chips or 5 candy bars.
But the fact that I literally ate 1 whole box of ferraro rochers + malteasers + snickers + Mandm's etc etc +++
I havent told him.. should I? I feel so ashamed?
fyi-my husband is a fit hottie with a six pack. i look like a fatty next to him. when we met I was running marathons and less than 15 percent body fat. WTF happened to me?? I am now 33% body fat and fat as fucccckkkk! 71kg or 156.2lb.
I've been at a relapse for the last 3 years!!!!! 3 EFFING years!!!!!!! I've constantly lied and ate behind my husbands back (sounds wrong).
I feel like I need to be honest.
He does not quite understand it. But accepts it and wants me to get help if I think I need it.
I told him I binge but I have not been honest about ....how big my binges are.
He might think they are just entire huge bag of chips or 5 candy bars.
But the fact that I literally ate 1 whole box of ferraro rochers + malteasers + snickers + Mandm's etc etc +++
I havent told him.. should I? I feel so ashamed?
fyi-my husband is a fit hottie with a six pack. i look like a fatty next to him. when we met I was running marathons and less than 15 percent body fat. WTF happened to me?? I am now 33% body fat and fat as fucccckkkk! 71kg or 156.2lb.
I've been at a relapse for the last 3 years!!!!! 3 EFFING years!!!!!!! I've constantly lied and ate behind my husbands back (sounds wrong).
I feel like I need to be honest.
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Replies
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I explain the binges like I am a passenger in my own body, I feel like I have no control when it came to certain foods. I tell people I would get this "urge" and the more I fought it the worse the urge became and finally it was like something else took over and I had no power to stop this force from shoveling food into my face. I did not tell my wife first it all came out when I went to my Doctor, and when I came home and talked to my wife about what I was diagnosed with I used the same words. That I felt out of control, powerless, unable to stop no matter how much I wanted to or even if I was full. I would stop when the urge went away even if I was in pain from over eating, or felt sick from overeating.
Be honest because now that my wife understands more she is able to see triggers and help me to identify when I may be likely to have a binge. If she sees me eating cookies or candies, she stops me and asks me how I am feeling, or what is going on, is it just a snack or if I am feeling a binge coming on. It helps a lot, because now I do not feel like I am alone any more, I hid what I was going through for over 3 years, and in those 3 years I thought I was losing my mind.1 -
Aside from medical professionals, I've only told two people thus far, my dad and sister. Both reactions were very different- he chooses to ignore it and has probably forgotten about it, while she was far more receptive and supportive. There are situation where I can get under her skin, but it's to be expected.
My parents are both older people that don't really understand eating disorders beyond anorexia.
I try to be very open about it. I was deep in a relapse for the month of February and purposely did everything to seclude myself from others to keep it all going.0 -
I am so ashamed and private about my binging, so I have not really told anyone in my life. I recently told my boyfriend of 4 years and he did not really respond the way that I was hoping. He basically told me that he doesn't believe I have BED, which really hurt me. I didn't want his opinion and I did not like that he thought he knew about myself better than I do. I just wanted him to listen to me. I think he just doesn't understand and because he doesn't see it (I pretty much only binge when I am alone) he doesn't see me as having an issue. It sucks that I can't really talk to him about it. So I'll just keep pushing on alone as I always have. I just hate admitting myself that I have this problem, let alone to others as well.0
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Binge eating is kind of a tricky thing...I mean it doesn't seem a serious issue for most people. I am not morbidly obese either. Like pretty much normal and since I've lost about 43lbs it is very hard sometimes admit to myself that I do have a problem...cause, you know..."Oh, look at me, I am absolutely looking good now" Once you are in this middle average place , it is like you are in some kind of shadow zone, where no ED exists. But it does exist - in my secret shopping trips, in my closet where I hide the food, in refusing to go out cause I have "plans" ( the binge). I've told my partner about it..I have no idea how he really feels about it. Well, of course, he sees me despite everything still losing some weight...But anyhow I told him, and he is checking the closet time to time and comes to check on me when I disappear too long in the kitchen on my own...it drives me nuts, cause I cannot feed my monster, so it goes wild...but at least it is some kind of help too. My family doesn't know, just they are not kind of people that could really understand. I do eat behind my partners back too, @drpsamin. I feel so bad about it...even when he is at home, I manage to sneak out of the living room and eat something from my hidden reserves...completely sick. And yes, I don't think that anyone realises how big can actually a binge be...of course it is not just a bag of chips or 5 candy bars...or just a slip-up from everyday diet regime by eating an extra slice of cake( some people call it binge too). But the worst thing is my anxiety and anger outbursts when I cannot binge or trying to avoid urges and depression after the binge. Magic circle.0
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Binge eating is kind of a tricky thing...I mean it doesn't seem a serious issue for most people. I am not morbidly obese either. Like pretty much normal and since I've lost about 43lbs it is very hard sometimes admit to myself that I do have a problem...cause, you know..."Oh, look at me, I am absolutely looking good now" Once you are in this middle average place , it is like you are in some kind of shadow zone, where no ED exists. But it does exist - in my secret shopping trips, in my closet where I hide the food, in refusing to go out cause I have "plans" ( the binge). I've told my partner about it..I have no idea how he really feels about it. Well, of course, he sees me despite everything still losing some weight...But anyhow I told him, and he is checking the closet time to time and comes to check on me when I disappear too long in the kitchen on my own...it drives me nuts, cause I cannot feed my monster, so it goes wild...but at least it is some kind of help too. My family doesn't know, just they are not kind of people that could really understand. I do eat behind my partners back too, @drpsamin. I feel so bad about it...even when he is at home, I manage to sneak out of the living room and eat something from my hidden reserves...completely sick. And yes, I don't think that anyone realises how big can actually a binge be...of course it is not just a bag of chips or 5 candy bars...or just a slip-up from everyday diet regime by eating an extra slice of cake( some people call it binge too). But the worst thing is my anxiety and anger outbursts when I cannot binge or trying to avoid urges and depression after the binge. Magic circle.
You hit the nail on the head so many times, I can relate to this so much!0
