Welcome back @heatherc369! I've been missing your enthusiasm! You live in Orlando right?! Know everyone there is in my thoughts and prayers. Such as sad thing

Ugh had a kinda crappy weekend. Don't know if I was depressed about the shooting or what but it wasn't pretty. I didn't really eat crazy bad but was lazy about my macros and def ate some junk that I wasn't happy about later. I need to go grocery shopping bad!

I DID NOT SMOKE! That's one thing.

Went for my workout yesterday about noon, and boy it was a tough time.. the only thing I can think of is that I hadn't really eaten much in the morning and I was probably dehydrated. Definitely could feel a difference in my workout!

SL 5x5 Workout A
Bike 1.0 miles, warmup
Squats: Warm-up 1x5 45, 1x5 95, 5x5 105lb
Bench : Warm-up 1x5 45, (failed at 75lb 5th rep, first set.. actually ended up with bar on my chest and had to roll it down to my lap. After that I could stand up and put bar back on rack. Glad it was only 75lbs!) deloaded and did 5x5 70lb
Barbell row: 0 I didn't have the confidence after that to even try this. Went home and drank loads of water.
Accessory lifts: None

Lesson learned, Hydrate before gym, don't go to gym hungry. Should probably get spotter from here on out. Will most likely repeat this workout tomorrow, don't want to move on without successfully completing.

Hi ladies...pretty good weekend for me...I maintained (& even lost a few oz.) which is usually my goal...just to survive the weekend without too much damage then get "on it" during the week. This week is going to super difficult getting my work outs in. I have needed to be at my job at around 7AM (I have moved my runs to before work to get them done during the cooler part of the day & I am SOOOO much better in the mornings) so I don't know how much of my training schedule I am going to be able to keep to this week. I may have to repeat this week, next week to be effective. I also missed 100% of yesterday adding my foods. I still was able to loose about 1/2 lb. as of this AM which thrills me. So today I am back on it & am back up to date with logging my food today. Last week was very successful for me I thought...I lost close to 4 lbs which put a good dent in getting myself back on track with weight loss. I am getting frightened though since I am leaving on the 27th for THREE WEEKS on vacation to see family & friends!! This will be my biggest challenge since changing my lifestyle last year. I am petrified about how much damage could be done so I want to try & lose as much as I can before I leave.

Ugg it's still a crazy week...almost done though. I have been TRYING to log all of my food...been pretty good. Lost a few more lbs. Almost back down to my full 50 lbs. lost. I haven't been able to run ALL week though but my activity tracker is saying I am taking 18k + steps a day so I am still getting something in...I need to get out there though for a run. @Kerryatoon that is AWESOME about no smoking!! They say 21 days to make or break a habit. When I hit 21 days of no smoking...mentally I knew I had kicked it...hope the same for you!!

The husband made it out of the house alone for the first time this afternoon! He had to attend an employee's retirement dinner. I figured once the kids' play dates leave I can jump on the treadmill! I was finishing dinner for the boys and all of the sudden a really acute stitch-like pain hits on my left side... Don't know if it's my back or my abdomen, it's weird... It knocks the wind out of me every so often....!! So now I'm laying in bed wondering what the heck this pain is (of course my mind is going to kidney stones, gallstones, all kinds of things)! surely it's nothing, but I'm probably worn out by now and my mind starts hallucinating things that shouldn't! So much for jumping on the treadmill! --sigh-- tomorrow maybe!

@NadiaMayl I understand 100% about the world affairs etc. I too am feeling the heavy weight of it, as I believe many do. My 12 year old daughter started crying over the toddler in Florida...it is almost too much. SO glad to hear about our husband being able to get out....the healing is happening. I hope you can fit that treadmill in soon. Great workout @Kerryatoon & even better with the no smoking. You SOOO have this in the bag!! You are an inspiration!! Well, my week although TERRIBLY chaotic went well. I managed to lose another 1.5 lbs (I think that is where I am at) & FINALLY got out there this AM & ran 3 miles before the day became SCORCHING hot today...I had to totally talk myself into it (I hate when I miss a whole week of running, it is always SO HARD to get myself inspired to get out there again, but always THRILLED once I do).... I love when I can add like 1,000 cals to my daily intake...lol. I am DEFINITELY doing so much better with controlling myself by logging my food. I am so happy that I am at 46+ lbs down (soooo close to my biggest loss of 50 lbs.) by eating "real food" (instead of bars & shakes) that it gives me hope that I will be able to lose that final 25 lbs now... @Kerryatoon tell us how the party went in your sexy heels sista!! I LOVE IT for you. My hubby has been paying me alot of extra attention recently...he even said to my today (I can't even recall when he has said something like this to me) "You have no right being this sexy..." I was like WHHHHAAATTT??????? Ha ha ha...that made me get off my butt & go for that run!! HA! Have a great rest of your weekend ladies...check in soon.

@heatherc369 Oh WOW about the candle light vigil....how incredibly sad...I wish it didn't take violence & tragedy to bring people together...what is this world coming to?? I kinda blew it yesterday with my eating...I went off the rails but what is so good about this website is....I can wake up today & just start anew & reel it back into control...went running today, so far I'm up to ate with my logging...I'm in a fairly good place

Hi ladies, Here was my workout for last night.

Week 6/ Workout 16/ Total Weeks 6

Walk incline treadmill 1/2 mile - my knee is a little twingy didn't want to do too much here

Barbell squat: 5x5 110 lbs
OH Press: 6x5 50lbs (stalled at this weight.. grrrr...)
Deadlift: 1x5 105lbs FELT AMAZEBALLS!

Accessory lifts:
Face pulls: 5x12 60lbs
Cable crunch: 4x15 110lbs ALTERNATING 6in leg lifts: 4x10

THE GOOD: Felt pretty awesome last night! Only 40lbs until I can squat my own body weight!! WOOT! Today is a rest day.. may get some light yoga in tonight to stretch. I love this Stronglifts program! Still not smoking! 15 consecutive days since my last slip. SO that's a big YAY!

THE BAD: I am not going to keep up this 1200 cal cut. I'm literally starving every night. So I'm going to try to go more conservative and get back down gradually by dropping 100 cals/week. I'm shooting for 1400 as my goal deficit.

THE UGLY: I have not given one *kitten* what I'm eating when I have my hunger strike in the evening. I am not adding it to my diary.. I'm just noshing out really really hard. Its not good. SOOOOOO I'm going to have to get really legit and picky about how I log EVERYTHING @LizSmith55 I'm feeling you on that. I may set my diary to private again because I'm finding myself not wanting everyone to know what I"m eating so I don't log the junk. It's old behavior and it isn't letting me be honest with myself AT ALL. So I'm up for advice.. motivation.. a pep talk.. some tough love... whatever you got. Fire away. HELP.

I'm still hereeee! My back pain has gotten worse, but I'm pretty sure it's muscular or sciatic nerve... At least not kidney or something organ related... It's hard to sit and stand and walk... ☹️ even with ibuprofen! So, no working out yet. Eating... I am going to take a silent stance on that, it could be better!! I've been logging everything, except for yesterday, I forgot past breakfast, and I couldn't remember for the life of me what I ate for dinner .... Hahaha
@Kerryatoon how can you survive on such few calls, girl, you gotta add more... I'd be a raging b&$$ or binge eating! The night cravings are probably a bit to do with the quitting smoking... It's probably your end of day nicotine/anxiety kicking in. Patience and start making a plan for those hunger pangs! Hiding your diary, I do that too.... Maybe we open them and become accountable to each Other?!
@LizSmith55 it's all a learning curve! You're on the right path... Accountability, acceptance and forgiveness.
@heatherc369 you're doing great! Even with vacation, I see the weight is coming off! Determination, that's what you got! It must've been hard going to the vigil. We all need to find a way to make it known, loud and clear, that love,compassion and respect is what we stand for!
We're leaving on vacation next week, I will continue to log, and if my back is better, I will find a way to workout at the hotel gym! I'm not giving up just yet, even though I didn't make my goal for vacation!
Night night, health warrior girlies!

Hi ladies! @heatherc369 thank you so much for the encouragement. I did change my diary to private so that I won't hesitate to add EVERYTHING I'm eating.. you're right that I'm only cheating myslef by being prideful about it. So for now its private and I'll change it back when I'm more consistent with it. I think I am finally finding a reason for my struggle and a possible solution. I'm not going to go into it too much right now because, honestly, I feel a little silly for floundering so much lately. But lets just say I'm going to be trying a new plan, not a fad diet, crazy restriction, that I usually do. I'm hoping it will be a lifestyle change that I can live with like you said @LizSmith55.

I'm still doing well at not smoking and getting in my workouts. Feeling good overall just need to figure out this food thing. @NadiaMayl I'm glad to see you're still here! I am sorry you're having back stuff.. that is the absolute worst. I was having problems before I started lifting and saw a really really good chiropractor that helped so much! I also found that a lot of my sciatic pain was related to tight/stiff hip joints. I started doing some hip flexor stretching and focusing on hamstring, glute and quad flexibility. I also found a yoga lotus pose stretch that has been a life saver and helped my sciatica. It's essentially gone now and I'm also doing heavy lifting which if it were my back would be making it worse not better. If you want I can send you the link to the stretches I'm doing.

I'm jealous of all of you getting to go on vacations!!! I'm not going to get one this summer but I'm saving for one next summer.. all that cigarette money is adding up I am going to a convention for one of my hobbies on the 30th of June for the weekend.. so that is something I'm looking forward to. Hotel has a gym I will definitely be using Ok well I'm signing off.. I'll let you all know how my progress is going on my new eating plan over the next several weeks.

Yes @Kerryatoon please send along your stretching points/tips/links because I was JUST thinking today it may have something to do with my hips as well!! I have self diagnosed myself since my 20's with Bursitis in my hips which flares up every time I start back to running. I have started spending more time doing hip flexor stretches but could always use more. Since I have taken running back up (since March) I have had an ongoing "off & on" pain running parallel to my spine which I have chalked up to muscular. It has not been bad enough to force me to stop BUT it has recently expanded into almost my butt area which is alot more painful. I notice that when I am actually running, the pain subsides BUT does return within a few hours & is becoming increasingly more annoying & painful. I so badly want to continue running & would like to do it pain free...I may look into a chiropractic solution soon if it does not rectify itself (as it HAS been known to do it the past.)
@NadiaMayl I agree...I can't figure it out 100% either. I have self diagnosed myself throughout the years since pregnancy as well with possible sciatica. Not 100% sure but MAN when it wants to....it can REALLY hurt WHATEVER the hell it is!! In January 2015 I moved across country from NJ to CO...it was a HUGE & dramatic move. My family has not been back since then & we are all talking the trip back to NJ & staying at the Jersey shore for 3 weeks. I was very fortunate to have grown up spending my summers on a small island off of NJ where my family still owns a house. My children (until we moved) also enjoyed spending the month of July down there so we are heading back for 3 weeks to experience that again!! CANNOT WAIT!! But I am very fearful of all the beer & BBQ going to take place so I am for SURE bringing my running shoes & attempt some will power...YIKES!!