Thirteen years post-op and I'm right back to where I was when I began this journey.

Options
Boy do I need help :( I had roux en-y Nov 2002, my top weight was 325. Thirteen years later, after "life" happened, I am (almost) right back to where I started. Today my weight is 315. Sadly, I don't even like to tell people that I've had the surgery for I truly feel like I am NOT a success story but a failure. No need to go into the details of what has been happening to me over the past thirteen years (the usual; marriage, miscarriage, birth of twins, now unhappy marriage, dealing with a spouses addiction etc) I have lost myself and put everyone else before me. HOW do I finally put ME first and get back on track without feeling guilty for doing so?? I'm beyond frustrated. That day in 2002 I swore up and down I would never, ever be this heavy again and here I am.

Replies

  • Starlight9763
    Starlight9763 Posts: 12 Member
    Options
    Wow! Sounds like you have a lot on your plate! Hang in there! Using this site can help a great deal. I have gained back 86 of my 186 that I loss and I know how hard this is. You need to get your head back in the game and do this for you and the kids! Feel free to add me as a friend if you like. Take control back and DO IT. Have a great day...because you are making the move to start again and you CAN do this!!
  • JennifersKeeney
    JennifersKeeney Posts: 11 Member
    Options
    My highest weight was 378. My lowest weight was probably 220. I never reached my goal weight. I started going out and drinking alcohol and eating whatever I wanted and got back up to 247. The reality hit when I went jeans shopping and I could no longer fit into any new 18 anymore. I refused to buy 20s. I cried a little. Beat myself up some. That was over the weekend. The Monday after that happened I joined a gym. Then I went on bariatriceating.com and ready up on Maria ' s regain posts and ordered all of my bariatric supplements and protein shakes again, started logging my food again, and doing cardio at my gym. The weight is coming back off! I promise you it will work for you. but get away from the sugar and carbs, Start walking again, and focus on protein first (which fills us up first). Now that our honeymoon phase is long gone, we actually have to work to get the weight off. You can do itß
  • JennifersKeeney
    JennifersKeeney Posts: 11 Member
    Options
    You can do it!
  • carpsm1
    carpsm1 Posts: 11 Member
    Options
    I also had surgery in (June) 2002. I went from 340 to around 205 and last July had reached 282. I managed to get back down to around 220 by 1. making myself go back to surgeon to get checked out and alleviate my fears 2. getting back to basics and doing what the dietician said (they have found out a lot of things in the past 13 years!) and 3. working on keeping my head straight.

    The past 3 months my head got messed up again and I gained 9 lbs. back. I am currently getting it straight again. I feel like my head is my biggest problem now. When I follow the rules I am not full but I am satisfied and not hungry. It is my head that tells me I need to eat until I feel full. But if I do that I will not continue to get healthy.

    It is hard work, and not like they described to me in 2002. I felt sorry for myself for a long time, but now I just look at it as at least I still have this tool to work with to feel satisfied on less food; I know that if I were trying to do this on my original stomach I would be miserable and terribly hungry and fail. So I do what I can with what I have and try to stay grateful for it. I know it can be done!
  • nupete
    nupete Posts: 2 Member
    edited July 2015
    Options
    I'm 15 years post RNY. I have no resources. Haven't seen the nutritionist since pre-op and my surgeon fell off the planet. What advice have you been given by your nutritionist? I'm not sure where to begin. I've definitely begun cutting the crap and trying to break bad habits. But honestly, I'm lost.

    Was anyone told the protein - carb - fat ratio and how many calories per day we "should" be consuming?
  • dab5
    dab5 Posts: 9 Member
    Options
    I'm right there with you guys. The surgery worked, had started at 318 and got down to 220. Kept it off a year. But what I didn't change was my screwed up behaviors and reasons I got that way to begin with. Years of negative self talk have screwed my head but good. Took my 6 years and nearly 60 pound regain to realize I need counseling to get over my self hatred. As for the diet, start at the beginning with the 2 to 3 weeks of clear liquid protein and go from there. I would love to stay in contact anyone who wants to be accountable with one another as far as difficulties and such. Let me know with a reply please
  • bypassnewbeginning
    Options
    well, I am back!! I am hopeful and have already made some great changes. Happy to report that my husband completed treatment for alcohol addiction and is coming up on 80 days sober! Now that HE is on track, I can focus more on myself and getting myself healthier. I've started logging my food again and will start getting back to the YMCA. My sister is doing this along with me, so that will help. I have a few major events coming this year including two weddings, so there is incentive here. Also, just getting in better shape for LIFE. I have nine year old twins that I want to be a better/more active mom to. I'm the only momma they've got, I better be the best one I can be! GO ME.
  • lilcharlze
    lilcharlze Posts: 7 Member
    Options
    Great to hear bypassnewbie! I am 5 years out, 422 to 276, never got any lower, now in the past year and a half I have grown to 306 ( actually 315 last week). I have to get back to at lest the 276 because psychologically I was much better than I am now. I have gone back to fat girl mentality- telling myself that I don't deserve certain things, certain treatment etc. I refuse to go back to that. I know that it can only get worse, and I remind myself of the horrors of being 426 ( mobility issues, society etc). Oh, I am soon to be 52, been overweight since my teens.
  • Socrates_Woman
    Socrates_Woman Posts: 2 Member
    edited January 2017
    Options
    I'm new to site, but am so glad I found this group! I need all the support I can get. I'm 11 and 1/2 years out from my gastric bypass surgery. I started out at 389 and got down to 223. Then, I started dating again...eating out, drinking alcohol, etc. It's hard to say 'I can't eat there or I can't eat that' when you're trying to impress a guy...lol After all, that was why I had the surgery...I wanted to get married again. I had been divorced just over a year when I had my surgery. I couldn't imagine anyone wanting to marry me the way I looked at almost 400 lbs. I gained about 10 lbs. back and leveled out there for several years. Then, I was laid off, my brand new home that I designed was foreclosed, and I ended up jobless and homeless. I lived with my daughter and family for several months until I found work out of state. My weight crept up to 270. Then, I had brain surgery which caused half my face to be paralyzed. The resulting depression and anxiety caused me to return to my high fat, high carb, pre-surgery diet and I'm not at 309. I refuse to go any higher! It's time to do something about it. My teenager grandson has lived with me for 3 years and there's been too much temptation in the kitchen. He's moved out and the bad foods are going with him! I'm going back to the high protein, low carb, diet that my surgeon told me to eat for the rest of my life.

    In a previous post, someone asked about the protein/carb/fat ratio or calories our doctors had suggested. My doctor told me to eat protein...a minimum of 65 grams before I ate anything else! Once I had my 65 grams of protein, I was allowed vegetables and some fruit. A minimum amount of fat and sugar was allowed, but it was best if neither was eaten as both could trigger dumping syndrome. No soda as the carbonation would cause stomach cramps. No drinking through straws as it would cause one to swallow too much air with the beverage which would also cause stomach cramps.

    Mentally, I couldn't handle the protein shakes, so I ate shrimp, eggs, ham, chicken breast, and other lean forms of protein. I also bought what I called 'protein shots' at GNC. The brand was New Whey Liquid Protein and they came in a plastic test-tube shaped container. Each container was equal to 35 grams of protein. They come in different fruit flavors. I liked the grape, orange, and punch flavors the best. I couldn't simply drink the shots as, again, it was a mental thing, so I poured them into a bottle of water and drank them that way. It was like drinking a flavored water that had just a hint of fruitiness to it.

    By the way, my photo was taken when I was at 235 or there abouts. I won't post a picture of me as I look now. I'm too ashamed and self-conscious. It's because of the weight, not my facial paralysis. The facial nerves that were cut during my brain surgery have regenerated and, other than a crooked smile and a lazy eyelid, my face is back to normal.
  • CarolynHickman
    CarolynHickman Posts: 4 Member
    Options
    I will be your friend. Just add me.
  • lois1231
    lois1231 Posts: 331 Member
    edited February 2018
    Options
    I had the surgery in 2001 when I was 292 pounds. I lost 70 pounds and regained it until I reached my highest ever weight of 317 pounds. I saw a nutritionist and managed to lose until I got to 220 and over the last 7 years drifted between 260 pounds and 275. I started over on January 15 at 275 pounds and currently weigh 261. Add me. We can support each other. I gained weight through emotional eating, bad habits, grazing, death of parents, etc.