My Story - and Struggle with WLS
eclecticmommy
Posts: 23 Member
In August if 2012 I had the Lap band placed. For two agonizing years, I dealt with what I had thought were side effects of the band: vomiting, slow weight loss, unable to eat anything with substance. In March of 2014 I had the band and my gallbladder removed, I was 278 pounds (down from 315). By August of 2014 I had eaten my way up to 305 pounds, but I had the sleeve anyway. I justified the weight gain as me "finally being able to eat and not throw up." I had the gastric sleeve and aside from a bout of mild pancreatitis that kept me in the hospital for three days longer, I was okay. Or so I though.
Fast forward .. I lost weight, slowly. People told me "Oh, it's because you had WLS before." I accepted that. I got down to 248 then things shifted.
I also poo-pooed the people who were working really hard to manage their calories and intake. I would say things like, "I didn't have surgery to be on a diet for the rest of my life." Little did I know, that the sleeve, although it restricts intake, does not deal with the emotional side of eating. I was and still am WAY TOO attached to food. It is an addiction and one that comes with consequences the whole world can see.
I am now 274. Again. Reflecting back I see:
1. The band didn't fail, I did. I ate too fast and too much. Of course I couldn't handle the full-textured foods .. I wasn't chewing them well enough.
2. When you down a half-bag of Cheetos prior to a fill .. there is something wrong.
3. The sleeve isn't failing, I am. I eat too much, too fast and don't chew well enough. I graze all. day. long. I have insatiable food cravings that can only be satisfied by eating the food that my brain wants so badly. I still have issues with vomiting after eating too much and well, now the weight gain.
Mind you .. I was also diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder AFTER I had the gastric sleeve.
After.
Not before when it would have been helpful, after.
So that's me. I am dealing with an ED, had two failed WLS and now I am on MFP trying to manage my calorie intake to help lose - at the very least - the weight I have gained.
Fast forward .. I lost weight, slowly. People told me "Oh, it's because you had WLS before." I accepted that. I got down to 248 then things shifted.
I also poo-pooed the people who were working really hard to manage their calories and intake. I would say things like, "I didn't have surgery to be on a diet for the rest of my life." Little did I know, that the sleeve, although it restricts intake, does not deal with the emotional side of eating. I was and still am WAY TOO attached to food. It is an addiction and one that comes with consequences the whole world can see.
I am now 274. Again. Reflecting back I see:
1. The band didn't fail, I did. I ate too fast and too much. Of course I couldn't handle the full-textured foods .. I wasn't chewing them well enough.
2. When you down a half-bag of Cheetos prior to a fill .. there is something wrong.
3. The sleeve isn't failing, I am. I eat too much, too fast and don't chew well enough. I graze all. day. long. I have insatiable food cravings that can only be satisfied by eating the food that my brain wants so badly. I still have issues with vomiting after eating too much and well, now the weight gain.
Mind you .. I was also diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder AFTER I had the gastric sleeve.
After.
Not before when it would have been helpful, after.
So that's me. I am dealing with an ED, had two failed WLS and now I am on MFP trying to manage my calorie intake to help lose - at the very least - the weight I have gained.
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Replies
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Welcome! We all have our own paths, both to weight gain and loss. I am about two and a half months out from Sleeve surgery, did great the first two years and have seen some of my old habits and behaviors resurface during a trying year. The struggle with food and my attitude toward it goes on, but having been successful and having the physical tool of the sleeve, I feel much more energized to get back to what I know works and it is exactly what you are now doing: intake control using a tool like MFP, mind control (understanding your attitudes and working on them).
FYI: this group is pretty slow going. The most active group I have seen here is "Gastric ByPass/VSG/LapBand"
You should post your story there and get to meet some more of us!
Rob1 -
Your story is my story, except I only had the gastric sleeve in 2012. Lost 112lbs got down to 230 was stuck there for about 8 months and have gained back up to 310 now. I have been doing the Keto diet for 2 months and have only lost 10lbs... I'm very frustrated because I am not cheating and have lots to lose and cut out all sugar and carbs. I'm not sure what else to do.1
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Recognizing these things is a big win! Keep working hard, and the rest will follow. Hugs!0
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I hear you.
I started about a year and a half ago, lost about 100 lbs, then I had a sleeve in May and lost another 55. However, now I am surprised by the sheer quantity I can eat. I gained weight (15 lbs) between November and the new year, where I stopped caring momentarily about what I was consuming, and the one day I clocked over 6,000 calories. I still don't understand how that is possible.
It is always terrifying to me how fast I can gain, and understand the quantity of food I take in it isn't surprising. This isn't the first time I have lost weight. I have however, never been successful at keeping it off. That is why I decided to have the sleeve. I was hoping it would help me keep on track. It definitely restricted what I could eat for the first few months, but now I don't feel any restriction at all.
There are some factors in my life that are vastly different than everyone else in this group, and they are real obstacles that you all don't face. These obstacles make it immensely more difficult to access minimally processed food. However, I am coming to the realization I can't let the challenges serve as a get of jail free card, because nothing works that way. I am a grown adult and it is my responsibility to mitigate the situation.
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eclecticmommy wrote: »In August if 2012 I had the Lap band placed. For two agonizing years, I dealt with what I had thought were side effects of the band: vomiting, slow weight loss, unable to eat anything with substance. In March of 2014 I had the band and my gallbladder removed, I was 278 pounds (down from 315). By August of 2014 I had eaten my way up to 305 pounds, but I had the sleeve anyway. I justified the weight gain as me "finally being able to eat and not throw up." I had the gastric sleeve and aside from a bout of mild pancreatitis that kept me in the hospital for three days longer, I was okay. Or so I though.
Fast forward .. I lost weight, slowly. People told me "Oh, it's because you had WLS before." I accepted that. I got down to 248 then things shifted.
I also poo-pooed the people who were working really hard to manage their calories and intake. I would say things like, "I didn't have surgery to be on a diet for the rest of my life." Little did I know, that the sleeve, although it restricts intake, does not deal with the emotional side of eating. I was and still am WAY TOO attached to food. It is an addiction and one that comes with consequences the whole world can see.
I am now 274. Again. Reflecting back I see:
1. The band didn't fail, I did. I ate too fast and too much. Of course I couldn't handle the full-textured foods .. I wasn't chewing them well enough.
2. When you down a half-bag of Cheetos prior to a fill .. there is something wrong.
3. The sleeve isn't failing, I am. I eat too much, too fast and don't chew well enough. I graze all. day. long. I have insatiable food cravings that can only be satisfied by eating the food that my brain wants so badly. I still have issues with vomiting after eating too much and well, now the weight gain.
Mind you .. I was also diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder AFTER I had the gastric sleeve.
After.
Not before when it would have been helpful, after.
So that's me. I am dealing with an ED, had two failed WLS and now I am on MFP trying to manage my calorie intake to help lose - at the very least - the weight I have gained.
I am glad you are healing. Keep your head up. You will make it0
