How is my heart? The question almost brings me to tears. I cannot count how many times I have started over and been knocked down by sickness, family death, family stress and found myself back at the weight that I swore I would never reach again. My relationship with my health is very polar and I go from one extreme to the other. My goal is just to make the highs lower and have some balance. I am mustering up motivation and cutting back because I have to, not because I feel any internal motivation. I know I have to be honest about my addictions and stop putting off dealing with my issues, regardless of my excuses. Giving in to my addictions doesn't improve my health, it only worsens my problems.