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So what is your struggle?

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♥Faerie♥
♥Faerie♥ Posts: 14,053 Member
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Thought maybe we could tell each other what we are suffering from, Ana, Mia, or other.......
I am strictly Ana, I restrict a lot, sometimes I binge, but never purge....
I also suffer from BDD, I just think I am cursed to never see what I want to see when I look at myself, no matter what weight my frame is carrying around, no matter what anyone tells me.....
I just know that it is maddening, the thoughts that pass through my mind at any given moment, and I really wish they would just stop sometimes, so that I could breathe for a bit.....

Replies

  • rore1
    rore1 Posts: 110 Member
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    Hi honey:) I can relate. Not sure what I suffer from but I realize what I am doing is not normal now. I can eat my cals well one day and then ridiculous binges for 4 or 5 days. I am tired of thinking about food. Tired of feeling hungry ALL the time when I know that is not possible!! I hate that I have to ask my kids to hide their candy in their room! My daughter turns 8 today. I let her choose a slice of cake. Seriously wtf?!!! I bought 1 slice so I would not be tempted to eat cake! and the other 2 kids I let them choose 1 treat each...I do not want to pass this on to my kids. I was anorexic when I was 16,didn't last too long as far as I can remember....Gained a lot of weight when I found out I was accidently pregnant with my third child about 6 years ago. Now I have been on here a little over a year,have lost the weight and as soon as I did the bingeing started.....I am tired. I wish I could just eat normally...that is my struggle....lucky to have you as a friend.xoxo
  • lizdavis07
    lizdavis07 Posts: 766 Member
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    I mainly suffer from Ana, although i do ocasionally purge after stressful binges :-(

    I have good and bad days. Some days i have no trouble reaching my calorie goal, others, not so much. I rarely eat full course meals. A little food here, a little food there.
    My obsession with counting calories occasionally affects my social life. When my friends invite me out to dinner, depending on where they go, i'll decide if i want to go or not. In fear of eating too much, i mostly dont join them. I also go through spurts where i will over-exercise myself as punishment for something i've eaten. I've been taken to the emergency room from heat exaustion and not being able to breathe after running across town more than my body could handle. I want to get to a point where i stop punishing myself for what i see when i look in the mirror.
    Like Fae, i think i somewhat suffer from Body Dysmorphic Disorder as well. No matter what i do to myself, i dont see what others say they see.

    I'm ready to accept and be happy with my body.
  • HoopFire5602
    HoopFire5602 Posts: 423 Member
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    I am diagnosed EDNOS. Sometimes I just don't eat enough. Sometimes I work out more than I should to burn off something I ate. Sometimes I do both at the same time. I constantly feel like I am on a tightrope, with ana on one side and mia on the other. I kind of teeter between the two, sometimes stopping by to have a visit on one side, then jumping right back on my rope. I am pretty strict about what I eat during the week...even more so when my husband is gone for work. I count religously on weekdays...I should start on weekends again though because I have started binging until I feel sick, then contemplate purging (not with exercise.) Right now I am trying to do maintenance (Trying to build muscle) , but for some reason I lost 2lbs and all of a sudden I want to drop my cals back down. I don't know why...it just feels right. Maybe maintenance is just not for me...

    I guess I'm not as bad as some....honestly when I talk to people about it I feel foolish because there are so many others that are worse off than I am. Most of the time I just feel like a pinball in a machine....the little paddles just take me wherever they want to.
  • audigal2008
    audigal2008 Posts: 1,129 Member
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    I believe I have BDD as well, I have starved for yrs. I am not medically diagnosed with any certain eating disorder it is my lil secret. I was diagnosed with overactive thyroid, lost a ton of weight but was dying. I had the treatment and am now Hypothyroid, so back to starving, working out. I drink my calories. I just want to be happy in my own skin. I just dont see this happening as I have had a very rough few yrs and I am ready to give up! Something has GOT to give!
  • PinkAndSparkle
    PinkAndSparkle Posts: 324
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    I was diagnosed with "Bulemarexia". I restrict calories, then purge (either vomiting or excessive exercise). Now, it's more orthorexia...obsession with eating healthily and living a healthy lifestyle.
  • Emme727
    Emme727 Posts: 92 Member
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    I was dx with ana when I was a teenager. I would strictly reduce my calories, yet dance (ballet) and run track/cross country for hours upon end. I am 5'8" and when I was young and in a dance company, the director told me that at 108 lbs, I was fat. I have struggled since then. My history involves starvation or excessive exercise, periods where I eat like a "normal" person, and then because my metabolism is soooo screwed up, gain weight, and then starvation and exercise again (often in the form of training for marathons).

    I am now in my late 30s and still struggle with these issues. I am trying to find balance in eating enough calories, boost my metabolism, lose weight, and simply be healthy. I know that I am pretty obsessed with what I eat and tend to eat waaaaay under my calorie goal (because that is what feels normal). If I eat even close to 1200 calories I feel that I am gorging myself. Yet, of course I can't lose weight because my metabolism is shot. SIgh.
  • cowlover22
    cowlover22 Posts: 309 Member
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    Now I am ana..mostly restict but purge when I feel like I have had to much. Afraid to eat my number of calories that I am supposed to because that seems like a binge. Used to work out alot and now I dont have it in me. Lately most days are around 400 cals and up to 1000 on good days..if I dont purge on those days! I was diagnosised with BPD, PTSD, depression and many medical diagnosis too. The main on being lupus.
    I would love to have one day where I dont think about what I am going to or not going to eat. Not worry about the number of calories, number of grams of fat. and most of all not worry what I look like! One day.....
  • GoCanada
    GoCanada Posts: 92 Member
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    Over a decade... I started as bulimic, then transitioned to anorexic briefly, and then ended up on a mix between the two (restrictive with purging). So they labelled it EDNOS since it changed over time.
  • beccalucy
    beccalucy Posts: 250 Member
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    I am diagnosed EDNOS. Sometimes I just don't eat enough. Sometimes I work out more than I should to burn off something I ate. Sometimes I do both at the same time. I constantly feel like I am on a tightrope, with ana on one side and mia on the other. I kind of teeter between the two, sometimes stopping by to have a visit on one side, then jumping right back on my rope. I am pretty strict about what I eat during the week...even more so when my husband is gone for work. I count religously on weekdays...I should start on weekends again though because I have started binging until I feel sick, then contemplate purging (not with exercise.) Right now I am trying to do maintenance (Trying to build muscle) , but for some reason I lost 2lbs and all of a sudden I want to drop my cals back down. I don't know why...it just feels right. Maybe maintenance is just not for me...

    I guess I'm not as bad as some....honestly when I talk to people about it I feel foolish because there are so many others that are worse off than I am. Most of the time I just feel like a pinball in a machine....the little paddles just take me wherever they want to.

    I could have written the majority of that. I have been diagnosed with EDNOS, similarly I often don't eat but more commonly now I overexercise to burn the calories off. I also feel that I'm not as bad as others and just go wherever I'm taken.
  • stix_n_stones
    stix_n_stones Posts: 26
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    I am diagnosed EDNOS but have a tendancy to lean one way or another. I was originally anorexic and then that of course led to binging a year later and so I struggled with a binge and restrict cycle. I never really purged (threw up) more than a few times but the restricition and exercising without enough calories was my way to get back my life during the binging days. Lately I have been restricting more as I started to go to a therapist about all of the issues. I have been exericsing regularly and just hope it is not becoming obsessive, I think I have it under control but whenever I go, my friends and girlfriend automatically assume it is because I think I'm too fat. It sucks to have everything you do be monitored against your ED, if I didn't have one people would congratulate me on working out and gaining muscle instead of worry...
  • littlemili
    littlemili Posts: 625 Member
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    I don't eat enough. That's all. Nobody knows why, least of all me.

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