How do you find time for yourself when you are with your kid
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amybell68
Posts: 275 Member
Let me start out by saying I LOVE MY DAUGHTER!! and I LOVE spending all day with her and homeschooling her, its a blessing and a privilege, and something that I would not change!! I have grown as a parent and a mother.
With that being said, I hardly ever have "alone" time. Don't get me wrong, my husband helps out. But sometimes its just hard. What are some things you do to have your alone time??
With that being said, I hardly ever have "alone" time. Don't get me wrong, my husband helps out. But sometimes its just hard. What are some things you do to have your alone time??
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LOL - I swear I hide in the bathroom, just like when they were little!
I also will institute "quiet time" where we are each in a separate room for an hour, usually reading or doing something quiet (my daughter likes to write, my son to play with legos). I have been known to tell the kids to just "leave me alone" for a while when I am playing a computer game - then they know to not bug me every 3 minutes, but they don't have to play quietly. Sometimes on a Saturday or Sunday I insist my husband take the kids out of the house for more than 2 hours so I can just "be". (I'm rather introverted and really like being home rather than going out, so this works for us).
It is harder with just one. My friends who homeschool with only children don't have as much "me" time, but I'm not sure what they do for it. One has her daughter enrolled in quite a few classes, one is all day - so that's her time to work and be alone. The other sometimes has family get her son during the day when she needs a break.0 -
What's alone time? LOL That is something that I need. With me working from home and homeschool, I never leave my house. We moved to where we currently live 6 years ago so I could finish school (I was driving from East TN to Nashville every week for classes) so, I have no friends or family in this area. I have a few friends that I made at school and from my previous job, but they all live a decent ways away from me. The "mommy" time is definately something we are going to have to schedule into our routine - cause that aspect does make me a bit bonkers. However, I wouldn't change starting homeschool at all.0
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I'll be the "bad" mom and admit... I really don't like being around the children all day every day. I love my kids, and they are great most of the time, but I need time to myself and find social interaction- including with my family- to be draining. We homeschool our kids not because I enjoy it, but because we feel it is the right thing to do.
I'm saying this for two reasons; first, because no woman should feel bad for needing time "off duty". Also, because homeschooling moms seem to be particularly good at keeping up appearances but berating themselves for the natural result- eventually going bonkers and losing it.
I think my biggest obstacle to having "me" time was always.. ME. I'm quite certain now that hubby would have been happy to work with me in any way I decided, but I was reluctant to ask. Taking time away from the babies and the home didn't fit with my (unrealistic) ideals. Now that I have older children, they are perfectly capable of taking care of themselves and/or watching the little ones while I take an hour for my exercise.
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Time to myself was MUCH easier to get when I was homeschooling three children than it is now that I have only one. During breaks, kids like to play - and I am the only one to fit that playmate role. I have to wait until she is asleep at night to be alone. I'm rather introverted, too, and need time to recharge every day.0
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It is harder with just one. My friends who homeschool with only children don't have as much "me" time, but I'm not sure what they do for it. One has her daughter enrolled in quite a few classes, one is all day - so that's her time to work and be alone. The other sometimes has family get her son during the day when she needs a break.
Oh, thank you for saying that it is *harder* with one! This is off-topic... but as a mom to an only, I am SO tired of hearing people tell me that my job is so much easier than theirs because I only have one child. It seems to me that each way has its advantages and disadvantages.
I do find that i get quite a bit of alone time... but it is always in danger of being interrupted (my son is barely 6) and so that doesn't really count in my opinion. My husband is good about giving me a break when he is home for lunch or after work, and I spent way too much time staying up late after everyone else is asleep for the night.0 -
I feel like a bad mom and take the easy way out. I let my kids do some online school - like PBS kids and time4learning.com. They are still learning but they aren't in my face. Or i give them craft materials and let them have it.0
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I get up early. I exercise before and after DS is in bed. He's old now, but still demands my attention and doesn't like me exercising. When he was a toddler, even locking myself in the bathroom was out. He broke several doors off of their hinges or wrecked the doorframes. Bam-Bam!
Pam0 -
It is harder with just one. My friends who homeschool with only children don't have as much "me" time, but I'm not sure what they do for it. One has her daughter enrolled in quite a few classes, one is all day - so that's her time to work and be alone. The other sometimes has family get her son during the day when she needs a break.
Oh, thank you for saying that it is *harder* with one! This is off-topic... but as a mom to an only, I am SO tired of hearing people tell me that my job is so much easier than theirs because I only have one child. It seems to me that each way has its advantages and disadvantage
I don't know what i'd do if my oldest (special needs) was an only child! It's not even enough for him to have all three of us home to 'bounce' off of!0 -
I go to the toilet, or wait until they are in bed. Mostly though I throw the pod on, sit on my bike and let them watch tv (in the same room) and just go for it. I can still see them, and they don't act out because I am actually still in the room!0
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Last year I got this idea from another mom. We usually finish up our school day at around 1:00, give or take. At 2:00 we all have quiet time. My 9 year old son has the option of reading for pleasure or on some days creating something with his legos, as long as he is in his room on his bed. My 14 year old daughter uses this time to read her literature, so her book is different each day.
I use this 45 minute block for whatever I need it for, which is sometimes a nap! It is awesome, because the whole house is quiet.
At first both kids were resistant, but now they love it! Sometimes they fall asleep, too. My college age girls tell the younger two that they wish someone would make them have an hour of quiet time. Haha0 -
We try to do the quiet time or "siesta" but like today it often turns in a nap! lol Much needed, as we all slept for like three hours!0
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I feel like a bad mom and take the easy way out. I let my kids do some online school - like PBS kids and time4learning.com. They are still learning but they aren't in my face. Or i give them craft materials and let them have it.
Doesn't sound like you are a bad mom at all! My daughter loves the computer so I let her do some of her work on it such as spelling. She learned all of her letters and the sounds they make on the computer. Also bringing out craft supplies and letting the kids do whatever they want with them is a wonderful thing for them. They are developing their creativity while they are working on their fine motor skills. I just recently thought about filling up a small chest of drawers with craft supplies so they can create whatever they want. They love it, and they really do come up with some cute crafts on their own.
For myself I don't find a lot of me time. My husband is out of town a lot so it gets pretty hard. I stay up late at night on the computer. I think I spend too much time online. I need to read more. I just keep reminding myself that when I am 42 my youngest will be out of the house and I will have a ton of me time. But yea, I really really need a vacation. Last vacation was two years ago, and when I came home I was very very excited to see my kiddos and I was such a better mom when I got back. 0 -
You do NEED time alone, especially when you homeschool. It took a long time for me to realize that. I started scrapbooking and would go scrapbook with my friend on a Friday or Saturday night every few weeks. It was a small start, but I realized I was a better mother and wife when I had some "me" time.
I also am a proponent of the "long bath with a book" alone time. Add a hot cuppa tea and I'm in heaven! When the kids were little, I'd get in after they were all sound asleep. Now that my kids are big, I still get in there, but now I can go whenever I want.0 -
I don't think I could keep up with the demands of homeschooling, keepingup the house and fitness/healthy eating if it wasn't for the support of my husband. We trade, I get every other night off. Starting at about 5pm. Or 4pm if I need to go somewhere or have a mno. But usually it doesn't start till about 6, because I have a hard time pulling myself away at times. Other times I run as fast as I can to the theater room in the front of the house and lock myself in with the tv, my daily planner (to plan the next day), a cup of tea and maybe some popcorn. Ahhhh. It's quite nice and quiet.
I am SO thankful that he does this for me. He may not be perfect in every way, but boy he earns triple points for all the help he gives me on my nights off!
I wish more homescooling moms were able to take time away from themselves, no matter how they use it. It is such a good thing to have. It's so very healthy.0
