I hear ya girl....I totally understand....I was diagnosed a few years ago as a celiac and it is very difficult for people to understand that you cannot have any wheat or gluten at all....Cheating increases your risks of certain cancers....I also have the skin condition that comes with being celiac called Dermititis Herpetiformis....So----If I even breathe in or smell, or am near any wheat products at all, I develop blisters all over....Even shampoos, cosmetics, creams, spices almost everything is cross contaminated with gluten.....It really sucks....It is very difficult to have to explain to everyone every time you go out, that you cant eat this or eat that....some people get downright insulted.....You R not alone....Keep in touch and add me as a friend if you want and we can gripe over it together....Hugs are sent to you girl...

Wow! Your sister is lucky that you will even speak with her again. Flour on the turkey? Even before I had to be GF, I wouldn't do that. (Butter or chicken broth, baby). That's a lot of very active passive aggressive.

Yes, there will be accidently exposures to gluten, but we all work so hard to keep those down to a place where it won't hurt all the hard work we are doing to keep our bodies from killling us.

To play armchair pyschologist for a moment, perhaps she is "cranky" that she no longer center stage with the medically dramatic stuff. (My eldest son, 17, is my fellow recent celiac, is Asperger's too but I hardly even play the "Asperger's" card.). Why else would she be so snarky about it?

My side of the extended family is having a hard time understanding what is "safe" but they are at least trying to understand. (My sister asked me to bring my own meat and bread to be safe at Thanksgiving.) We hardly see Hubby's side so it isn't really an issue there either.

You have my permission to eat before going (and therefore dominating every meal time conversation), bring your entire meal (just makes sure it looks delectable), come at the end, or skip the whole thing totally.

And I concur with Amayrial's comment about how clueless most "medical" folks are about celiac stuff. Seriously, you can know more about gluten intolerence and celiacness after 1 hour reading info on the Internest than 99 percent of medical professionals know about it.

Take care,
Lain

I’m still unsure of how all this works, but I'm surprised you can't eat the meat from the top if all the flour was at the bottom. Does gluten transfer through the food that easily?

I am fortunate enough to live in an area where there are Celiac support groups that meet monthly and have a formal organization that runs it. (They have a huge yearly regional conference and quarterly mini conferences) They hand out a leaflet about Thanksgiving eating where it very directly says "Don't eat the turkey if it has been stuffed with regular bread stuffing." that comes straight from the dietician at Beth Israel Hospital in Boston. So yes, the experts say it is so. If you've ever baked from scratch, you know that flour gets everywhere and is easily airborne. Also, don't most people baste their turkeys from the drippings below?

Every Celiac/Gluten Intolerance person reacts differently to a gluten exposure. KarenWill2 seems to be what my support group calls a "gluten canary" ~ any little bit of exposure and symptoms appear. (We keep saying to our groups gluten canary that we will pay him to eat at restaurants who say they do gluten free and if he doesn't get sick then we will know they are safe for us to eat at.)

Hubby asked me what is the difference between a person who has Celiac and a person who has Gluten Intolerance ~ I told him that I believe that a GI person just gets sick from gluten but there is no long term intestinal damage where a Celiac may or may not get sick but their intestines are damaged by gluten exposure and if the gluten exposure is done on a regular enough basis, the body may never get a chance to recover.

My understanding is that all the "little bits" will add up if they happen often enough. There are enough accidental/hidden gluten exposures to recover from without adding any deliberate ones. It reminds me of the old quote "Even paranoid people have real enemies."

I am new to this Celiacness. So I just skipped the gravy at Thanksgiving. It wasn't worth it just to make it for me. (my teen who is also a celiac isn't into meat or meat flavored items)

I went on the internet and saw many different recipes that used GF cornstarch or GF floors like sweet rice.

My family is also gluten intolerant but I am much more sensitive to it. When I felt they weren't realizing how important it was to me I told them I wouldn't be going home for holidays with them because my health was more important. That was all it took, just telling them that. Everything is not totally GF and Christmas will also be dairy/egg free.

I am glad that I am not the only one who has to deal with this during the holiday season. I had a lovely thanksgiving, and to make it easy on everyone I just cooked at my place. I also tend to bring stuff with me to eat just because I don't expect everyone to know what on earth gluten is, how to avoid it, etc. (heck- it took me long enough to figure it out!) but every xmas when I visit my MIL she makes me feel like I am being gluten intolerant on purpose just to be mean. I know when I ingest gluten because I am in so much pain I can't stand straight.

Gah!

At least the holidays are almost over

I am incredibly lucky. While I don't have the problem myself, 3 of my 4 kids do and so does my husband. MY mom decided that she didn't want to have to tell the kids (or my husband) that they couldn't eat something so she made everything for Thanksgiving completely gluten free and will do it again for Christmas. She had me bake her 2 loaves of bread so she could make stuffing, and everything was completely homemade including my GF rolls. Even the deserts were GF including a crust-less pumpkin pie and a GF crust pumpkin pie. I made GF vanilla wafers for a banana pudding. It was wonderful and she did an awesome job, and no one had any reactions. My 75-year-old grandmother is doing the same thing for her upcoming Christmas party. Of course, she has also decided that gluten may be a problem for her 80-year-old husband and is taking him off it too. My sister also makes sure that she always has gluten free options at any family gathering she throws. They make me cry with their concern and understanding.

Now, my husband's family is the complete opposite. His mother has gone so far as to say that this is a choice we have made. She has ALL of the same symptoms that my husband did and refuses to even look into it. If it doesn't come from a white-coated-individual, she doesn't believe it. His sister recently decided to throw an anniversary party for his parents. He had to tell her that if she didn't change it to a restaurant that the kids and my husband could eat at, we wouldn't be there. She changed it, but one of the kids and my husband still ended up getting contaminated. She refused to let me bake the cake for the party and said we could just bring a little one for us. Yeah...I made a giant one and everyone ate mine including her. My husband's aunt by marriage is also GF so she was so thankful that we brought the cake and had the sister change the restaurant.

We are at the point where we don't even want to visit his family any more much less let the kids stay with them without my 12-year-old daughter to watch out for the 3 of them (she's like a gluten hawk despite not having the problem (different dad)). I'm just glad we are 2 hours from them and only 2 minutes from my family. My mom even buys GF snacks to keep in the house for when my kids come over.

Just because your sister is a nurse doesn't mean she is knowledgeable about all illnesses or understand them. My sister (a RN also) had no idea what gluten was/is or what problem gluten could cause.

Heh... We have a medical professional in my inner circle as well. I have to remind myself that this person, who I love dearly, is neither a dermatologist nor an allergist, and that they simply just don't understand. In their line of work, they see people who fake pain or illness in the hopes of getting pain meds or attention. Unless there's an EKG, a CT scan, a conclusive lab report, or some "scientific" proof, it's hard to convince this person of an illness they can't see. I didn't test positive for Celiac, but I have a sensitivity to wheat, so I get the tummy cramps and some of the other problems. But that's all in my head. I get the bumps on my hands because I apparently wash my hands too much, the water is too hot, I'm not drying my hands correctly, I need to use lotion, or I should wear gloves.

Some of my family is accommodating. My sister has a stash of gf meals in her freezer for when I visit. Not the stuff I'd buy, but it's a sweet gesture and the meals are decent.

Rather than get upset about family functions, like Thanksgiving, I eat before I go and I offer to bring side dishes. We went to a holiday party this past weekend where the dishes included meatballs (made with breadcrumbs), macaroni salad, salad sprinkled with imitation bacon bits, and one of those 3' party subs. I brought a side of what my family calls "corn pudding" and the gf maple cheesecake that I made. Otherwise, it would've been me and the veggie platter.

My family is also gluten intolerant but I am much more sensitive to it. When I felt they weren't realizing how important it was to me I told them I wouldn't be going home for holidays with them because my health was more important. That was all it took, just telling them that. Everything is not totally GF and Christmas will also be dairy/egg free.

I eat gf, dairy free, egg free. Others in our family also have either celiac or allergies. All our holiday meals are nut free, gluten free, egg free and dairy free. My sister, who can eat anything, said it was one of the best meals she had ever had. It can be done and everyone will enjoy it.

Jeri in Calgary

It's so disappointing to hear that your sister who has kids with allergies treated you that way. She of all people really should know better. I'm with you, you can't expect anyone else to make accomodations for you so I bring all my own food too. Sometimes it makes people feel bad, but I would rather hurt their feelings a tiny bit than be sick for several days. They will get over it. I won't.

When I first was diagnosed my mom tried to get me to try fried mac n' cheese bites, saying "you can have just one". She just didn't understand how this is different from a diet like Atkins or South Beach. Now that she gets it, she's one of my biggest advocates. I also have a friend who always - ALWAYS - brings pizza whenever we have a get together at my house. Seriously, I don't bring rat poison into your kitchen! I know she doesn't mean anything by it, she just doesn't know how to cook anything and never remembers my gluten problem, so I just let it go.

And FYI to everyone - wheat flour dust hangs in the air for 2 -3 hours after you've used it, contaminating absolutely everything in your kitchen. Be very very careful when you must use wheat flour in your kitchen. Try to minimize the dust as much as possible - don't pour it, don't sift it, don't close the bag too quickly and get that little "puff" of flour.

Merry Christmas!