This is a really tough one. First of all, I am so sorry. Your hurt is apparent through your words.

Second, you should consider first that we all say things that pop into our minds without thinking about they're real impact. Your mom may not have been declining the task at all. You should definitely ask her about it. Assume she meant something else by it. There could be all kinds of reasons she may have said that. If money is an issue for you, she may have been suggesting that you may not be able to afford the material. She may not feel that she is really up to the task, you know, she may self conscious about her ability to make the kind of dress you like. She may not feel like she has enough time to complete it depending on how much time there is until your wedding. I'm sure that you are an intelligent person and have already thought of some of these things yourself. Sometimes we just need someone else to say what we are already thinking.

Give her the benefit of the doubt. Confront her without seeming ungrateful or confrontational. Assume there is a very logical explanation for her suggestion. And then, brace yourself for your worst fear, whatever that is. I say that because then you are ready for anything. Remember that you are who you are despite the negativity of anyone around you and that sometimes the most negativity comes from the ones closest to us. If it is really bad, (and if it is you will understand my meaning) you should know that you are good enough not to have to subject yourself to certain emotional abuses, by anyone, as hard as that may be to take in.

Be beautiful, be confident, and be happy!

Maybe things are a little hectic and having your dress made can get stressful. Finding one you love, with your mom, can still be a special experience. If you want her to make something for the wedding, just ask her to do it. She could sew a special message in the hem of the dress. As long as you are happy that she is involved, that's what matters the most.