You CAN be who you want to be!
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SlinkyNewMe
Posts: 213 Member
So here I am at 46. I was just going through my wardrobe and thought: "Who do these clothes belong to - surely not I?" But alas, they were mine.
How did this happen! I thought to myself. I have been thinking that for a long time. I walk past shops I used to go into when I was youger and I know there is not a chance in hell that I would (a) feel confident enough to go in and (b) find anything to fit me.
So I am in a kind of identity crisis. I am too old for the young shops and too young for the granny shops! Mainly because, despite losing a stone (14 pounds) since October 2011, I am currently 3 stone overweight (42 pounds). I don't even know what I want to wear or how I want to look anymore! I've just kind of lost myself somewhere and I want "me" back again.
That's why I have joined MFP, to continue what I started and hopefully get to a weight that I feel like myself again or at least be more like the person I feel I am on the inside.
The good thing about losing weight is that it gives you plenty of time to think about your appearance. I'm going to suggest that we use this time to think about our "look" for when we eventually slim down.
As the weeks/month go by, as you look through magazines, papers, internet or if you have been inspired by someone's look in a film. Use the time to let your imagination go wild. Collect pictures, photgraphs, bits of fabric, colours that you like and stick them all in a big notebook . Be creative - don't restrict yourself to what you think you "should" wear or look like. Just collect anything that appeals to you, no matter how unrealistic or zany it may seem at the time.
The point of that is that eventually you should start to see a trend or a theme coming through in the materials you have collected - maybe in the colour scheme, type of fabric, clothing style, etc. Eventually you will be able to adapt this theme into something that is more workable to your lifestyle - for example, you may love those 6 inch high boots, but these may be inpractical for taking your little ones to the park!
Anyway I'm going to start doing this from today "The Big Book of Me!".
How did this happen! I thought to myself. I have been thinking that for a long time. I walk past shops I used to go into when I was youger and I know there is not a chance in hell that I would (a) feel confident enough to go in and (b) find anything to fit me.
So I am in a kind of identity crisis. I am too old for the young shops and too young for the granny shops! Mainly because, despite losing a stone (14 pounds) since October 2011, I am currently 3 stone overweight (42 pounds). I don't even know what I want to wear or how I want to look anymore! I've just kind of lost myself somewhere and I want "me" back again.
That's why I have joined MFP, to continue what I started and hopefully get to a weight that I feel like myself again or at least be more like the person I feel I am on the inside.
The good thing about losing weight is that it gives you plenty of time to think about your appearance. I'm going to suggest that we use this time to think about our "look" for when we eventually slim down.
As the weeks/month go by, as you look through magazines, papers, internet or if you have been inspired by someone's look in a film. Use the time to let your imagination go wild. Collect pictures, photgraphs, bits of fabric, colours that you like and stick them all in a big notebook . Be creative - don't restrict yourself to what you think you "should" wear or look like. Just collect anything that appeals to you, no matter how unrealistic or zany it may seem at the time.
The point of that is that eventually you should start to see a trend or a theme coming through in the materials you have collected - maybe in the colour scheme, type of fabric, clothing style, etc. Eventually you will be able to adapt this theme into something that is more workable to your lifestyle - for example, you may love those 6 inch high boots, but these may be inpractical for taking your little ones to the park!
Anyway I'm going to start doing this from today "The Big Book of Me!".
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I know I can be "that person", she is in there somewhere.
My clothes look worse than the thrift stores, it is a sad state of affairs. I have 2 pair of jeans that fit me. I refuse to to go out and buy a bigger size since I just bought these recently!
Yes, a VISION BOARD! I just joined Pinterest and that is where you can make "virtual boards". You can pin pics, recipes, whatever. I just started this so not sure of all the details.
Good luck today to all with anything you set out to do. Celebrate it.0 -
That sounds good and I love the term "Vision Board".
I hear what you say about not wanting to buy new stuff. I will wear something until it gets almost threadbare rather than go through the humiliation and disappointment of looking for stuff in the shops.:blushing:
But here we are doing something about it and I think that the vision board is a great idea. If you find more details about that website please post on here.0 -
Pinterest sounds great - going to check that out!
Struggling with shopping too at the moment, and I always used to love it so much! But by the time the summer stuff is coming into the shops, I will be ready for it.
Watch this space!0 -
I have pinterest (just started using it actually) - that's a great idea to use it as a vision board! I need to create a board JUST for that! If anyone needs an invite, just message me your email and I'll log on pinterest and send one out (it's quicker than requesting an invite from pinterest!)
Also - just a note, and you can do what you want of course, but when I signed up with pinterest, I selected "interests" and it automatically had me "follow" people. It took me a while to figure out how to UNFOLLOW those people, so I think you can "skip" the interests and just find people to follow on your own (it automatically looks through your facebook friends).
And the biggest thing I had to learn about pinterest - it's actually a simple thing but I didn't grasp it at first: It wants you to save the PICTURE you see, not the website (like a favorites), however, you can click on the picture and go to the website where the picture was. Once all that clicked in my brain I was like "OOOOOH - ok!" LOL!0 -
Wow the thought of liking shopping again is alot of appeal. My clothes are horrid. I wear what I have until they fall apart and if I absolutely have to buy something I just go for cheap as opposed to flattering. I figure there isnt anything worth flattering on my body...at least at the moment. But that will change soon!!!0
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I LOVE PINTEREST!!!
I love that you started this group. Short story....When i was about 33ish my friend asked me to go out with her and her gf. After i said yes she said, "Wear something sassy and not frumpy." That was my sign.0 -
Slinky I love your post....did you climb inside my head to write it? Lol
I hate shopping. My clothes are all black or brown. Or navy. Or black....,you get the picture. And I love colours! I love teal and orange and abstract patterns ... Oh and combat trousers! I miss my combats :0( And I want to paint my toenails again! Shocking pink or red.....but I can't reach them.
I love the idea of a vision board. I like corsets but I only buy black so I may stick some pictures of bright ones on my fridge. There's a thin girl in me (two actually) and I must stop keeping them quiet with cake.0 -
Just before Christmas, after I found out that I once again fit in the ONLY pair of size 24 pants I own (since I gave the rest away when I lost weight before), my husband and I went to Sears just so I could get maybe 2-3 more pairs of pants and at least one more pretty top to wear. I swear I wanted to cry when I was trying to find something that didn't look like my grandmother wore it.
I've come to realize that there ARE pretty plus size clothes out there. But you will pay a high price for them. The more "reasonably" priced clothes are... practically unbearable.
Three pair of stretch waist plain old polyester pants later (sigh), and one clearance racked shirt later, we were out of there and I was just so ticked off at myself for letting this happen again.0 -
Fantastic post, and I love the idea of creating a vision board or notebook - it's been so long since I enjoyed shopping that I don't even know what is in and out of fashion anymore, much less what would really suit me. I haven't really bought new clothes in about 5 years, because I keep saying I'm going to wait to get down a size, but I never quite get there... but this year is it, if only because I cannot stand my clothes anymore (besides being at least 5 years out of date, they're worn out...). I figure I'll be down to a size I can shop at by the time spring/summer clothes come out, so that will be the start of my hip new wardrobe :-)
We CAN do this!!!0 -
Slinky I love your post....did you climb inside my head to write it? Lol
I hate shopping. My clothes are all black or brown. Or navy. Or black....,you get the picture. And I love colours! I love teal and orange and abstract patterns ... Oh and combat trousers! I miss my combats :0( And I want to paint my toenails again! Shocking pink or red.....but I can't reach them.
I love the idea of a vision board. I like corsets but I only buy black so I may stick some pictures of bright ones on my fridge. There's a thin girl in me (two actually) and I must stop keeping them quiet with cake.
LOL at that.0 -
I LOVE PINTEREST!!!
I love that you started this group. Short story....When i was about 33ish my friend asked me to go out with her and her gf. After i said yes she said, "Wear something sassy and not frumpy." That was my sign.
:huh: What a cheek. When you get to your goal weight you make sure you strut your stuff right in front of her :laugh:0 -
I love the idea of a vision board and I so don't feel in my head like the middle age women clothes that fill my closet. I'm tried of practical, sensible clothes, but can't figure out where to shop that doesn't require me to sell my limbs or what really looks good.
I'm definitely in for this challenge
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I love the idea! I love to shop, actually, but have a hard time finding things that make me feel like ME! I bet a vision board will be a great motivator too...you know, the carrot.0
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The thing is I don't even know what I like at the moment. Everything I wear is geared towards my current size. As a mum to an 8 year old I would love to be able to put on skinny jeans and a nice little top without worrying about bits of me bulging out of the top of my jeans :blushing:0
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Fantastic post - am off now to check out Pininterest!! I have been wondering what that site is about for a while now! You have really hit on something here - in my experience I have no trouble getting inside my happy weight range, but when I get there it is like there is something missing and I think mainly that is down to the fact I don't really have a clue about what to wear and what suits me! I love colours but I rarely experiment, so this vision board idea is terrific .... happy days! :flowerforyou:0
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Fantastic post - am off now to check out Pininterest!! I have been wondering what that site is about for a while now! You have really hit on something here - in my experience I have no trouble getting inside my happy weight range, but when I get there it is like there is something missing and I think mainly that is down to the fact I don't really have a clue about what to wear and what suits me! I love colours but I rarely experiment, so this vision board idea is terrific .... happy days! :flowerforyou:
Yes happy days indeed. I'm looking forward to starting mine!
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I have much the same problem. My clothes are old and worn and I tend to buy the blah stuff because I really don't want to spend the money on something new that isn't going to fit me for long anyway (since I am bound and determined to loose the weight). But recently, I have found something in me...I don't know if its because of my daughter getting older (11yrs) and I want to be the cool mom instead of the dreaded embarrassment; but I have been out buying nice tops (ones that naturally fit loose so I don't have to worry about a bulge showing), or fashionable boots, or accessories etc. Of course, I'm not really getting any pants/jeans cause like I said, I don't want something that wont fit me in a month. And by doing this, it has really given me a boost in how I feel. I am slowly loosing my weight now that I have come back to MFP and am sticking with it.
I am 40, I am feeling better and better, and my daughter is NOT embarrassed to be with me in public. WooHoo!
I think a lot of it has to do with just going out and buying something NEW and Fashionable. Just one item at a time.0 -
I think the part I struggle with the most, is dressing "age appropriately". The magazines/ads are mostly geared towards twentysomethings so sometimes I feel like as a 40 year old I'm stuck in the middle. I don't want to look like I'm competing with younger women but don't want to dress like my mom either! This why I always go with a classic look like a cute cardi with some jeans but throw in great accessories like leopard print shoes, great bag or funky jewelry. Plus accessorizing is a cheap & easy way to update & change your wardrobe!
Pinterest is a great tool for inspiration of a great wardrobe. They have a section called Women's Apparel and you can build your own personal online vision board from it. I've actually printed out pics of outfits I like and gone to look for them at the store. Being a single mom, I live on a tight budget so I really try to find ways to "carry" my wardrobe - something that looks great for work but also with a pair of jeans. Its multi-functional.0 -
BTW, a dear friend of mine (turns 40 this month too) who also struggled her whole life with weight/food issues but in last 2 years figured it out and lost 60 lbs turned me on to AMERICAN EAGLE jeans. She was wearing a pair and I complimented her and I couldn't believe where she got them! I've always thought that store was for "juniors". Well I ran right out and got a pair. Let me just tell you - so flattering, so cute and so cheap! $44 regular price and they constantly run them on sale.
And the best part? They make your butt look A-MA-ZING!!!!!!!!!!!!0 -
Well, at 48 I always struggle to find the look that's not "an 18yo wanna be", or the grandma look (even though I am). As a photographer I HAVE to look like I know something about fashion, as high school seniors come bringing half their wardraobe. So I have to find stuff that at least maked me look like I have "taste". I study fashion magazines, and that has really helped. I never read any of the junk in them, just use them as a picture book to find the latest trends.
Also, I have found I have to look outside the box. When my daughter got married, trying to find a "mother of the bride" dress was a nightmare!!!!!! I finally found a long dress with a fabulous jacket. I bought it but ditched the long dress and wore the jacket with a fantastic pair of pants, a shell top underneath and some lepard heals.
And, finally, after 48 years I found that if I buy cheap stuff, then next season, I'm buying them again. It pays to invest in the good stuff. I have one classic black shell top that I've had for 20 years. Now that's quality!!!! So I've learned to be VERY selective and, that's what I look for now.0
