Stereotypes and Body Types
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Ever since I lost weight my hombro Mark keeps calling me a twink.
Doughy *kitten*...0 -
The onlything that should have lables placed on them is food and christmas presents. People, clothes, politics should all be label free and this would be so much of a better world.0
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I don't fit into any gay community. It's rather sad. I was in the "Chub/Chaser" community but since losing weight that's gone by the wayside. I don't fit into the bear community. I for sure don't fit into the other communities.
Some days I feel like a lost cause because I will never find love. I hate the way I look, true story.0 -
I don't fit into any gay community. It's rather sad. I was in the "Chub/Chaser" community but since losing weight that's gone by the wayside. I don't fit into the bear community. I for sure don't fit into the other communities.
Some days I feel like a lost cause because I will never find love. I hate the way I look, true story.
The way you look has nothing to do with finding love. Finding love is about being open to it and finding someone who wants to go there with you.0 -
This is such a difficult topic to navigate because it is so damn PERSONAL!
Speaking for myself, a 37yr old, very masculine butch (I dont mind that title at all) genderqueer, mother of 2 (one of which *I* birthed!), and married to a very femme woman....I have to say that because of my own gender identity I like the dynamic we are in now, even though it is sort of hetero on first glance.
When I first came out I ran to ties and suits but my girlfriend hated them on me and wanted me to be more girly. For her I wore girl's clothes, dresses and had long hair. I hated myself and ended up hating her.
When we split, I went and dated "butch" and "femme" women and I will admit that I tend to find butch women more attractive as a rule, even though that is "weird" to a lot of people in our community.
All that being said, I love my current partner and her fine, femme self! I love being called "sir" instead of "ma'am" and I dont mind that we are sometimes perceived as straight..as long as we know the truth who cares?
Gender identity is such an individual thing and I understand where the community came from back in the day to try and define and identify each other when it was so dangerous to be out...using gender and labels was a way to do so safely...
Anyway, I guess I am rambling...just my 2 cents!0 -
When I first came out I ran to ties and suits but my girlfriend hated them on me and wanted me to be more girly. For her I wore girl's clothes, dresses and had long hair. I hated myself and ended up hating her.
When we split, I went and dated "butch" and "femme" women and I will admit that I tend to find butch women more attractive as a rule, even though that is "weird" to a lot of people in our community.
I had a similar experience, my ex tried to make me more femmey than I am, I didn't mind to start beacuse I don't mind femming it up for the odd evening out, but it became all the time. Frequently she would buy me clothes & tell me what I should wear and how to act when we were out. One day she sent me back to get changed before we could meet up with her friends and I snapped, I knew at that moment the relationship was over. Loooking back I don't know why I put up with it for so long but it was a gradual thing & didn't seem like a big deal at first.
I don't know if i really have a type physicly, I'm into tall and short women, fat & skinney, femme, butch, dykey the lot. Recently I've been more drawn to butch women, but really, I just love women!
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I don't fit into any gay community. It's rather sad. I was in the "Chub/Chaser" community but since losing weight that's gone by the wayside. I don't fit into the bear community. I for sure don't fit into the other communities.
Some days I feel like a lost cause because I will never find love. I hate the way I look, true story.
The way you look has nothing to do with finding love. Finding love is about being open to it and finding someone who wants to go there with you.
Coming from the New York gay community, beauty is skin deep. It's sad. Once I get fit, I know I'll be able to find what I'm looking for. Until then, I run ALL THE MILES, do ALL THE EXERCISES, and eat ALL THE HEALTHY FOOD.
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Haha. I guess I'm pretty feminine for a lesbian. I wear dresses pretty often when I go out and my hair is currently long. (Sometimes I chop it off, but it's super long.) I also wear makeup.
I used to be mostly attracted to kinda butchy, mostly androgynous.. chapstick lesbian types, haha. And only thin girls, mostly taller than me.
But as the years have passed, I find myself attracted to a full range of laydeeeez, haha. Short, tall, butchy, femme, skinny, fat, and everything in the middle.
Attraction is a funny thing. :laugh:0 -
I've always found this topic really interesting. People are often baffled by my marriage because both my wife and I have long hair and wear make-up. For some reason it's difficult for them to believe we could possibly have relationship unless one of us is the
"man" of the situation.
They ask a lot of questions. Typically when it gets to the point where they mention I don't wear dresses or skirts I automatically get labeled as "butch". Yeah, there's something super butch about wearing mascara everyday and knowing absolutely nothing about sports, isn't there? Most often I just nod and hope the conversation ends.
I think it's silly. I have very little need for those words or titles in my life. I love my wife and that's all people really need to understand. Trying to shove all these gender roles on us is really just making things more complicated.
OMG I have heard this before! I have heard that my partner is the man and I am the woman (wtf!)!!! If I wanted a man then I would go after one! I am with a woman for a reason! Just because she wears t-shirts, jeans, and pumas all the time and I like to dress up means NOTHING!0 -
I don't feel any need to dispell stereotypes, just be who you are, who cares if you reinforce or dispell a stereotype. I'm neither butch nor femme, but I can make myself look either way with body language & clothing. I lovvvve strong women, hot, hot, hot, lol.
I could not agree more0 -
Haha. I guess I'm pretty feminine for a lesbian. I wear dresses pretty often when I go out and my hair is currently long. (Sometimes I chop it off, but it's super long.) I also wear makeup.
I used to be mostly attracted to kinda butchy, mostly androgynous.. chapstick lesbian types, haha. And only thin girls, mostly taller than me.
But as the years have passed, I find myself attracted to a full range of laydeeeez, haha. Short, tall, butchy, femme, skinny, fat, and everything in the middle.
Attraction is a funny thing. :laugh:0
