The womans advice
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slay0r
Posts: 669 Member
Hey Girls,
I've failed a bit miserably last night and could do with the abuse/help of you all..
There's a girl I've really liked for quite some time, we've known each other a few years through friends and she's always been around as long as I can remember. We got talking a lot of xmas eve, she's funny, intelligent and a whole lot different from most girls I've seen in the past. Baring in mind I've lost 126lb in the last year I've gone through a lot of changes and it's still a bit strange to me to get attention off women. We got along that well we started messaging each other a bit, first through facebook then through texts.
We met up again last week since she was back in the country (been away between xmas and just after new year) she smokes so we just went for a drive and she sat and smoked and we chatted for a couple of hours til she had to go, me being the gentleman gave her a kiss on the cheek when she went (very unsure of her feelings at this point.)
Then yesterday I messaged her to see how she was, she said she wasn't doing much and asked if I wanted to do something that night. We went off for a drive again (She likes driving it seems!) We pulled up in a layby and just chatted for hours without even stopping. At this point I Realise I really like this girl and I kiss her.. So far so good. Only problem is we took it a lot further than that and now I'm regretting it because I think it might have ruined things. I'm not the kind of guy that would post this on a site normally but I do really like her and I'm completely unsure now of what I should do, any ideas?
I've failed a bit miserably last night and could do with the abuse/help of you all..
There's a girl I've really liked for quite some time, we've known each other a few years through friends and she's always been around as long as I can remember. We got talking a lot of xmas eve, she's funny, intelligent and a whole lot different from most girls I've seen in the past. Baring in mind I've lost 126lb in the last year I've gone through a lot of changes and it's still a bit strange to me to get attention off women. We got along that well we started messaging each other a bit, first through facebook then through texts.
We met up again last week since she was back in the country (been away between xmas and just after new year) she smokes so we just went for a drive and she sat and smoked and we chatted for a couple of hours til she had to go, me being the gentleman gave her a kiss on the cheek when she went (very unsure of her feelings at this point.)
Then yesterday I messaged her to see how she was, she said she wasn't doing much and asked if I wanted to do something that night. We went off for a drive again (She likes driving it seems!) We pulled up in a layby and just chatted for hours without even stopping. At this point I Realise I really like this girl and I kiss her.. So far so good. Only problem is we took it a lot further than that and now I'm regretting it because I think it might have ruined things. I'm not the kind of guy that would post this on a site normally but I do really like her and I'm completely unsure now of what I should do, any ideas?
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Replies
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For heavens' sake make sure you call or email her today (please not text!) - she is likely to be feeling just as conflicted as you are. If you really like her, but feel things moved too fast, say so, and ask if you can make plans to do something together in a less-prviate setting next time (less temptation for things to go down the same route again). Maybe a plan a 'date' (I hate that word) - dinner or lunch, or something else where you will be in a public place together.
If you are feeling guilty, because you like her, and like the attention, but don't want to pursue a relationship, at least do her the courtesy of getting in touch to say thank you for a pleasant evening. You don't have to make any concrete plans to see her again if you don't want to, but at least you will have been polite, and considerate of her feelings too.0 -
Thanks for the reply
I do want to see her again, just felt a little fast that's all and I don't want to have put her off just because of that. I will ask her out again so maybe just call her and ask her if she wants to go out sometime? That way it's not like doing the above, it's more clear that it's a bit of a date and see what her reaction is to that? I don't know what she wants really and I normally do so it's a bit of unchartered territory for me!0 -
I think that sounds like a good plan - just do it today! And do make it clear that you mean a date in a public place. That way she's less likely to assume that you are only interested in her from a physical perspective, which few women appreciate. She may or may not react as you would like, but this is a good way to move forward. Good luck!0
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Haha cheers, the joys of new experiences! I'll make sure I do it today don't worry! 0
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Haha well I emailed her but she hasn't replied all day since I posted on here. I know she might be busy but I get the feeling it's made things arqward which is a shame considering I like her!0
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If things are complicated, it is a sign to move on. Relationships are best when they flow free & easy.0
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Has she replied yet? If not, I think its for one of two reasons - 1. she just wanted sex, hence the drives! 2. She is just as regretful and embarrassed to call you.
Let us know what happened :flowerforyou:0 -
Nah she didn't reply. It could be that she just wanted sex but if that was the case I don't know why she'd choose a friend she'd known for years which would complicate things. Plus all the talking and everything for hours beforehand, she was always glancing at me but I had to make the first move after hours (after being friends for years I wanted to make sure all the signals were there before I ruined anything.) Maybe you're right and she's just embarrased.
My friends are a bit old fashioned but they were saying I should send her a big boquet of flowers and just say I had a great weekend and would love to go out with her sometime? Any thoughts on that? Annoying thing is I always get all the girls I'm not interested then when I really like one then this happens every time.0 -
I think the flowers are a nice suggests, but I really think you need to try and just pick up the phone and call her. If I was in that situation and the guy sent me an email or text it would still make me feel a little funny about the whole thing. But if he picked up the phone and talked to me I would feel better about the whole thing. A phone call just seems more personal to me. Im pretty sure she is embarresed because I was in a situation like that before and just wanted to crawl under a rock somewhere.
Best of luck to you! 0 -
I think you should call her and be honest about your feelings for her.0
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I agree call her. What's the worst that could happen? She's not interest, just want to be friends? At least you'll know and can move on.0
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Haha one of the women at work overheard a conversation and MADE me buy her flowers. It's all worked out fine though 0
