So Awkward

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Ok, this might make me sound shallow, but hear me out, please. I got a couple messages from this guy on OKC, I checked out his profile, thought, eh, not bad, sounds nice, so I responded. We talked for a little bit via the "chat" feature, and then he said, "I'm glad you're my height".

Uh, what?

Yeah, he's 5'5". I can't date guys that height. I can't. It has more to do with me than them. I feel like a freaking giant, and for someone who already has self-confidence issues about her weight/looks, that is not a good thing.

So, what do I do? Why do I never look at the stupid box that tells me how tall they are???
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Replies

  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
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    i feel ya... I rather date guys over 6 feet (I'm 5'9) but some of the guys I went out with were 5'9 or 5'10.

    If you feel that STRONG about it.. then just stop talking to them.. but if he seems like a nice guy, why not do something different? I mean, he could end up a cool friend???
  • JudyL5305
    JudyL5305 Posts: 215 Member
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    I'm completely with you I don't want to date anyone my height or lower. If you really like him continue talking to him and see what happens. if you feel that strong that there is absolutely no way then say something to him.
  • Katefab26
    Katefab26 Posts: 865
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    He actually is a really nice guy. He's an artist and has a lot of the same interests I do...so it really sucked when he told me how tall he was. I mean, I guess I can meet him. He mentioned something about it, and if a guy asks me out, I'm not going to say no (unless he's obviously a total creeper who's just looking to get laid lol). Ugh, I guess we'll see...
  • hope516
    hope516 Posts: 1,133 Member
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    I totally feel you on the height thing! I am 5'5 and a half (that damn half kills me everytime :mad: ) and I mostly date Hispanic men..who can't seem to grow taller than 5'7 (at least all the ones I have dated...and i've dated a lot let me tell you :laugh: ) well guess what??? I can't wear my freaking heels that make me look taller and leaner :sad:

    height is important to me and it is on my checklist BUUUUUUUUT I would never give up on meeting a great guy BASED on this. I would probably "grade" him harder on the date because (((((short))))) is already a point against him, but for all you know HE could be the one...lol...It is kind of superficial to be judged on something like height, just like guys who wouldn't ever date a cool, overweight girl. It ain't fair, and it ain't right. Give him a chance he could surprise you :bigsmile: good luck :drinker:

    edited to say I don't really grade my dates, but if I did it would probably explain why I am still single :laugh:
  • Meghan0116
    Meghan0116 Posts: 1,340 Member
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    I too am guilty of judging how far things will go based on height. I am 5'9 and wear heels a lot so the guy needs to be at least 5'10 or taller. I don't care if I am taller wearing heels but I had better be shorter standing barefoot. I already feel huge, I don't need to feel like Andre the freaking Giant as well. lol
  • tangie82
    tangie82 Posts: 285 Member
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    I never have that problem. I'm 5' and I always end up with the 6'4 guys. lol
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
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    You're a giant at 5'5? Welcome to the life of being 5'8...but that being said I wouldn't date a 5'8 guy so I feel your pain!! I would just tell him that is something you can't compromise on. There are tons of short girls out there!
  • MissingMinnesota
    MissingMinnesota Posts: 7,486 Member
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    I am also 5'5 and have alwasy dated 6'2 and above. I don't think I can date someone my height because I tend to wear 3-4 inch heels. I even think guys that are 5'9 are short for me which is bad.
  • jenlb99
    jenlb99 Posts: 213 Member
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    I never have that problem. I'm 5' and I always end up with the 6'4 guys. lol

    Hahaha Me too...except I'm 5'3". And the 6'4" is on the shorter end. Funny how that goes. Opposites attract!
  • catherine4211
    catherine4211 Posts: 944 Member
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    I know what you mean. I am short (5'1") so really all guys are taller then me. One guy I met from Eharmony was probably 5'4" or so and that didn't bother me THAT much (a little) but his tiny, freak hands made me want to run. It was awful.
  • Showgirlbody
    Showgirlbody Posts: 402 Member
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    It's just a meet and greet. See if you get along. You may have chemistry and you may not but it will be an experience and you may have a good time, nice conversation. The more you practice, the easier it gets. It is hard online. The short guys and the fat girls do get eliminated before even given a chance. I'm 5'3 and like a taller guy, too. I'm already short though so if a man is shorter than me they might be a dwarf and I'm not into that. But I think it makes a difference if they are shorter but stocky or shorter and thin I don't like a tiny man. I want to sit on his lap. And sometimes being closer in height makes things match up better in other ways. I dated someone 6'6", you can't even surprise him with a kiss with such a big height difference. They have to bend down. I say if everything else sounds good, give him a chance like you would want someone to give you even if you weren't their "type". Then you can decide if it's a dealbreaker.
  • yoouperh
    yoouperh Posts: 68 Member
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    I'm the same way at 5'8"
  • hope516
    hope516 Posts: 1,133 Member
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    I never have that problem. I'm 5' and I always end up with the 6'4 guys. lol

    heres the culprit taking on the tall guys! :mad: of the market...what if we switch you take my 5'7 guy and Ill take your 6'4 guy...lol...jk :bigsmile:
  • chargermama0501
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    ya'll need to try being 6ft, and a major high heel addict! when i go out i'm 6'4" or 6'5" bc i simply adore cute shoes. Its not easy finding a decent guy who is eye level and broad shouldered, and single, and not a psycho! hahahah

    P.S. NOT SACRIFICING THE SHOES!!!!

    :) own you're height!
  • tangie82
    tangie82 Posts: 285 Member
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    I never have that problem. I'm 5' and I always end up with the 6'4 guys. lol

    heres the culprit taking on the tall guys! :mad: of the market...what if we switch you take my 5'7 guy and Ill take your 6'4 guy...lol...jk :bigsmile:

    Opps! My bad! LOL it's not like I go looking for them. I'm almost 30, i'm not going be picky about hieght. I perfer shorter guys, 5'5 5'7 is perfect for me. Especially living here alot of the tall guys I date have big huge trucks and I almost need a step ladder to get in. Not to mention they can't drive my lil car because they are too tall. lol We all have our preferences but I don't wanna pass up a maybe awesome guy because he is not the height I want him to be.
  • nicolebunny55
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    Im sorry.......It might be shallow, but I completely agree with you on the height thing. I have to have a guy thats taller than me. At least one that when I decided to put on heels I am not taller than.

    Some women dont mind it, but I do. I like to be able to look up at someone and plus its like you said, when you have a little more weight to you it makes you feel tiny with a taller guy. I know it probably sounds silly, but its how I think about it :smile:
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
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    Thought I'd chime in with a little different perspective.

    I'm a 5'10" guy. So I am taller than most women, but I'm not super tall. There are women who will have issues about my height.

    I'm just really glad that I got to the height I got too. I would hate to be a 5'5" guy. Women really find it important to be with a taller guy. To me, a woman's height makes no difference.
  • AllanMisner
    AllanMisner Posts: 4,140 Member
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    Twice I've asked girls out that were taller than me. I'm 5'11". One was 6'5" and the other was 6'3". Both declined. I even had the woman who was 6'5" tell me she wouldn't date a man shorter than her. In the end, it was her loss.
  • Katefab26
    Katefab26 Posts: 865
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    Thanks for chiming in!! It's not that I look down on a guy for being whatever height he is. In fact, I've known some really great guys who were 5'3" and even shorter. The problem is me. I already feel like the heifer in the room. I wish I didn't, but there it is. If a guy is the same height or shorter, I feel like I'm going to kill him, to be honest.

    I know, I know, I just need to get over it. Maybe this guy will help me get there...here's hoping!
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
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    Twice I've asked girls out that were taller than me. I'm 5'11". One was 6'5" and the other was 6'3". Both declined. I even had the woman who was 6'5" tell me she wouldn't date a man shorter than her. In the end, it was her loss.

    The 6'5" woman is going to have an extremely narrow dating pool.