but milli - you calories are still so low - surely you can see you are still doing this to yourself? Are you getting help for this?

The same things happened to me. My normally very thick hair is now thin and brittle, my nails break so easily, my skin is so dry and is very pale, and my body is heals at a very slow pace. Besides the physical symptoms, the mental ones are just as hard. I'm trying my hardest to recover but it can be extremely difficult. Good luck on getting better.

wow that sounds so much like me and it scares me so much... i wake up in the mornings feeling like my heart is trying to jump out of my chest!! and my fingers are constantly freezing. I am trying hard to kick the habit of restricting but some days i just panic when i weigh myself the sad thing is 6 months ago when i started to "cut down" on food my friend made me promise to never stop eating and i told her it wouldn't happen to me but here i am now struggling to get myself to even consider a slice of toast. thank you for sharing hopefully i can get myself on track before i do too much damage.

As you know Milli I have damaged my body beyond repair but for those of you who dont I will share with you the things I have done to my body. How and why I am still here nobody really has answer for. But I used to abuse laxatives for many years. Along with the purging, exercising and restricting. Well one day my bowel perforated. I was bleeding in my stomach and I went to surgery and woke up with no large intestine and had a colostomy(a bag on the outside of your stomach that your poop comes in) After everything was able to heal that was reversed, but now I might as well live in the bathroom. Lucky if I make it there in time. I have damaged my kidneys(in kidney failure) have shrunk 2 inches from osteoporosis have severe pain in my back and jaw from the lack of calcium in my bones. Bad enough to have to take morphine. I have had countless blood transfusions as I have damaged my liver. My circulation is so bad that my hands turn white..they look like the hands of a corpse. and they hurt the same. I would love to exercise but I am to week. I am lucky enough to make it through a work day with out falling over. My teeth are chipping away as there is no enamel left on them. I take many pills because I have screwed up my digestive tract beyond repair. The only thing they can do to help me is to give me the colostomy back..rather wear a diaper than that. And some days I do have to. I am not old, but my body is. I used to think I was strong and healthy because at the time I was. All my labs were normal I felt ok, but 25 years of this causes a lt of damage. Almost died 2 times. One from the bowel thing and the other my potassium level was so low that my heart did not beat right. Combine that with everything else and it is a mess. Now besides having breakfast every morning I take 23 pills. Not all due to my ed but all are because of it. I am so tired all the time and my doctors tell me that it is from lack of nutrition. I argue with them but they are prob right. Some days it is so bad I cant even think right. I call of work those days too. This disease has cost me so much. So when you think that it wont happen to you remember I used to think that way to. And I was fit. I ran triathlons was a nautilus instructor. Time to open your eyes people...and just had 2 friends died from this damn disease.

I know you all are wondering why I still have my ed if it caused me so many probs. Well the longer you have it the harder it is to get rid of. I have really been trying these last 2 years. Been in and out of hospitals and I am not at my lowest but I am no where close to where I should be either. But I am trying...

As you know Milli I have damaged my body beyond repair but for those of you who dont I will share with you the things I have done to my body. How and why I am still here nobody really has answer for. But I used to abuse laxatives for many years. Along with the purging, exercising and restricting. Well one day my bowel perforated. I was bleeding in my stomach and I went to surgery and woke up with no large intestine and had a colostomy(a bag on the outside of your stomach that your poop comes in) After everything was able to heal that was reversed, but now I might as well live in the bathroom. Lucky if I make it there in time. I have damaged my kidneys(in kidney failure) have shrunk 2 inches from osteoporosis have severe pain in my back and jaw from the lack of calcium in my bones. Bad enough to have to take morphine. I have had countless blood transfusions as I have damaged my liver. My circulation is so bad that my hands turn white..they look like the hands of a corpse. and they hurt the same. I would love to exercise but I am to week. I am lucky enough to make it through a work day with out falling over. My teeth are chipping away as there is no enamel left on them. I take many pills because I have screwed up my digestive tract beyond repair. The only thing they can do to help me is to give me the colostomy back..rather wear a diaper than that. And some days I do have to. I am not old, but my body is. I used to think I was strong and healthy because at the time I was. All my labs were normal I felt ok, but 25 years of this causes a lt of damage. Almost died 2 times. One from the bowel thing and the other my potassium level was so low that my heart did not beat right. Combine that with everything else and it is a mess. Now besides having breakfast every morning I take 23 pills. Not all due to my ed but all are because of it. I am so tired all the time and my doctors tell me that it is from lack of nutrition. I argue with them but they are prob right. Some days it is so bad I cant even think right. I call of work those days too. This disease has cost me so much. So when you think that it wont happen to you remember I used to think that way to. And I was fit. I ran triathlons was a nautilus instructor. Time to open your eyes people...and just had 2 friends died from this damn disease.

I know you all are wondering why I still have my ed if it caused me so many probs. Well the longer you have it the harder it is to get rid of. I have really been trying these last 2 years. Been in and out of hospitals and I am not at my lowest but I am no where close to where I should be either. But I am trying...

Im so sorry. That sounds horrible. I cannot begin to imagine the hell youve gone through, the hell you are living in because of an eating disorder. Some days are good, and I think I should recover and be healthy..but I always buy into the lies. Thanks for posting this, for sharing. Thank you.

EDIT: do you accept friend requests?